Thursday, February 16, 2006

"do you know what the worst STD is? CHILDREN!"


Thanks for the kind words, folks. The depth of my despondency (as if the events weren't enough) had a lot to do with lack of sleep. I got virtually no sleep Monday night, stayed up all day Tuesday, and didn't get enough sleep that night. So I wasn't in any position to deal with any kind of stress.

We've got a crazy schedule this week - student matinees Tuesday through Friday, meaning we play in front of 600 kids (yuk!) at ten in the morning (double yuk!). Then, after each show (filled with sarcastic clapping and text-messaging galore), we have a talkback with some of the students.

And, lately, the kid has been on fire.

He answers questions about whether or not actors should take classes, lies about how behind in school he is, and tells rambling stories about skits he and his sister used to do "when they were kids". When the cast was asked whether or not we were inspired by anyone to get into acting, he replied, "Dave Chappelle".

The rest of us have all decided that he's totally gonna get beat up once he goes to high school - he's one of those kids who can't help but tell you that he's smarter than you, and he's so fucking smug about it you just want to punch him in the face. How this kid comes from such a sweet family, I have no idea. He is who my friend's dad referred to when he said that children were the worst STD known to man.

(I know that it sounds terrible that I'm directing such venom towards an eleven year old, but you've really got to see it to believe it.)

One other thing - I'm going to be on TV Friday morning! I'll be on some Steak City morning news show. Full details t'm'row...

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

blech

All hell broke loose yesterday. I don't want to go into to specifics, but I found myself trying to fend off advances on several fronts. And then, this morning, I found out that one of my classmates passed away. He had been battling cancer for about a year, so it was expected, but it didn't make it any less painful.

Don't feel like writing anymore right now - more later.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

you CAN go home again!

I'm back. Did you miss me?

(So is Bright-Eyes, by the way - go welcome her back. And I added a few new blogs, too - great reading. Check 'em out.)

Went to the Alma Mater to design a new alumni program. I won't bore you with the particulars, but essentially we're mobilizing the young alumni, and we're prepping the current students to enter "the real world" with the tools they need to survive. Told you that I'm all about the kids... We got to speak to some of the students, which was cool, and I got to spend some time with an old friend and meet her supercool new husband.

Anyway, being back there was surreal. 90% of things were exactly the same, and I had been gone for almost seven years. The buildings, the classrooms, even the professors - almost exactly the same. I kept expecting to see my old classmates around every corner. So weird.

Honestly, I felt old. (Sorry, Melissa.)

But the really surprising part was how at home I was. I really felt like I belonged there. I remember how comfortable I felt when I got to campus when I first visited, as a high school senior. I knew, within 15 minutes or so, that this was the school for me. And I kind of had the same feeling yesterday. Don't misconstrue my statement; I've got a lot of things I want to accomplish, and I'm not going to drop those to party like an undergrad again. But I can definitely see a day where I'm heavily involved in that community again. Maybe I could even teach. So, obviously, it was a great visit.

The only thing that sucked was the compressed nature of the trip. I was only in town for about 30 hours, and I was asleep for about a third of that. I had to get up at 4am in order to make my flight, and save for a few minutes of shut-eye on one of the flights, I haven't slept at all. I'll be back in the fall; hopefully I can spend a few more days there then.



Five days left in Steak City. Funny-weird story (as opposed to funny ha-ha): on my way to the airport the shuttle driver wove his way through downtown. I happened to look to my right, and what store do I see?

Cowtown.

Funny-weird, huh? Guess that signals it's time for me to get my act together and get ready to go west... I think it also means that I should eat that steak that's been sitting in my freezer for a couple of weeks.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

kids suck (except for yours, of course)

We had to do a show just for students this morning at 10am. Acting that early does NOT go over well with professional actors, let me tell you. And it was even worse because of the little brats' behavior. Talking and whispering, hooting and hollering at the romantic scenes, breaking out into spontaneous applause towards the end of the play anytime a character said anything...I was totally disgusted. Of course, you expect a little squirminess from adolescents (they are, after all, hormones with eyeballs and feet) but this was ridiculous. It makes you wonder why you do it, quite frankly.

Thankfully, we had a great audience tonight, so I'm not going to quit my job anytime soon.

So...going back to the alma mater on Sunday afternoon. I'm helping with an alumni project, so I'll be in meetings all day Monday, which also means that I'll be flying all of Sunday evening and Tuesday morning - in fact, I have to do another stupid student show that morning, so I'll probably be waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning. SO...I basically don't have a weekend. And, considering that I travel to Cowtown next Monday, and start work the following day, I've got three straight weeks of nonstop action. Nice work, Mr. Genius.

Still soliciting name suggestions...

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

the kid's still in the picture

One other thing I gotta mention...so last night, the kid missed one of his entrances...because he was standing in front of a vending machine, trying to decide what piece of refined sugar to purchase. So now he has to stay in the Green Room at all times.

I was (and I hate to admit it) kinda pleased that he got into trouble, but then I realized that this means I've got to put up with him for another hour - since I stay in the Green Room for the final third of the play. A couple of us are ganging up and trying to put our collective foot down...teaching him manners and such...

Two weeks left. Will we kill him? Stay tuned...

Even the 5-0 likes the Steelers!


This is my favorite picture from the Steelers' victory parade yesterday. It was estimated that 250,000 people showed up yesterday in downtown Pittsburgh to welcome the team home and celebrate their fifth Super Bowl title, and their first in 26 years. Let me repeat that number: a quarter of a million people! Amazing. This demonstrates the extreme love affair the people of the city of Pittsburgh have with their Steelers. It also explains why I am the way I am.

I may be a bit scarce over the next week or so - we have a really crazy run of shows, and then on Sunday evening I'm taking a trip to the dear ol' alma mater. I haven't been back there in seven years, and I'm really excited to make (what I hope is) a triumphant return. More on the details of the trip later...

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I don't wanna...

So...it's that time of day. It's early afternoon, and I've got to go to the gym.

I don't want to go.

I know how vitally important it is for me to stay in shape. There's a history of high blood pressure in my family, and I'm in a career that's all about image, and I even feel better when I've had a good solid workout. But, almost every time I think about going to the gym, I just don't want to do it. Am I just lazy?

To make matters worse, it's Tuesday, which means that my room is scheduled to get a full cleaning, so I HAVE to be out for at least a half hour. So I really don't have a choice. Why can't I be one of those guys who doesn't have to do anything and still wakes up with a perfect six-pack every morning? I mean, I can (and have) woken up with said six-pack, but it takes work for me to get it.

The best motivation for me (other than the things listed above) is that thirty is rapidly approaching, and the men in my family have traditionally found themselves with expanding waistlines after their thirtieth birthdays. And I can't really afford to have that happen. So I have to establish good habits now, rather than waiting until then...and playing catch-up.

All right, all right, I'm going. It's always the anticipation that kills me. I'll feel much better after I'm finished.

Monday, February 06, 2006

the day after

Thanks to everybody for the Super Bowl props. They've been coming in from all over today - even from the one person that I wanted to hear from most (who hates football with a passion). I always find it slightly weird that a sporting event can affect people's moods so much. Still, I have to say that the sun looks a little brighter today.

Please excuse the following sports-related rant:

There are a lot of columnists whining today about how bad calls cost the Seahawks the game. I admit that the officiating left a LOT to be desired (as it has all year), but you still have to win the game on the field. The Seahawks had their opportunities, and they squandered them. The Steelers capitalized on their opportunities. True champions overcome adverse conditions. The Steelers did that all year long.

Okay, rant over...non-sports fans can come back now.

Two weeks left in Steak City, and there's a host of things I want to do. One of my hobbies here is sampling "steak", the food that Steak City is famous for. I've been going to all the best "steak" restaurants in town, usually on Mondays (my day off), and today will be no different. There's also a museum that I REALLY REALLY want to go to, and I've got to investigate the hours and make some time for that.

I've also got to start really watching my budget. I've been pretty good so far, but I spent a lot of money this weekend, and the job in Cowtown is going to pay a bit less than this one. And then, of course, after Cowtown I'm currently looking at three months of unemployment. Anyone wanna be my patron? Or my sugar mama?

Time to get out of my pajamas...

One For The Thumb

I'm exhausted, and a bit (okay, a lot) drunk, but I'm as happy as I've ever been.

The Steelers won Super Bowl XL. They are World Champions.

I don't know what else to say. I wasn't conscious the last time they won - or, at least, I don't have a recollection of it (Jan '80). I just ordered $140 worth of championship stuff. My face hurts from smiling.

THEY DID IT!

Saturday, February 04, 2006

who am i? (what's my name?)

Bonus points if you can tell me whose song title I just ripped off.

So...I'm thinking about changing my handle. Several reasons. Most importantly, there are some people in the world who shouldn't read this. I've learned during this show that I have really wanted to talk about some people, but I'm afraid that they still might be able to find me.

And...when I made this blog, I didn't really think that I would be using it, so I really didn't put any thought into what to call myself. (Or the blog, for that matter, although I love my site, and I really love abbreviating it and calling it F&G.)

SO...I'm thinking about leaving K Lance behind. Of course, you're still welcome to call me that.

The million dollar question, then, is what to call myself?

I'm more than willing to accept suggestions, although, of course, I will make the final decision. The early frontrunner is "SupaStar", for two reasons: one, I'm trying to embrace a positive mindset towards my career; two, it's currently the message on my cell phone.

Let me know what you think, peeps.

And root for the Steelers t'm'row! (technically, today...)

Friday, February 03, 2006

happy blog-o-versary!

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear friedcatfishandcollardgreens...
Happy birthday to you!

That is correct, I've been blogging for a year. So please excuse the excessive back-patting coming from Steak City. I've always been sporatic when it comes to writing (my journals bear that evidence), so it's good for me to have another place to do it.

I wanted to do something special for the occasion, and since I can't buy all of you a round of shots, I decided that I'd do one of those huge "'bout me" posts. So...if you're interested, learn more about K Lance below.

And, speaking of that...I'm thinking about changing my handle. I'll get into that this weekend - I'm going to need distractions from the Super Bowl. A little over 48 hours away...

101 things 'bout me

1. I was born on September 21, in the seventies, in eastern PA.

2. The name of my hometown was made famous by Billy Joel.

3. I started reading just before I turned two.

4. My earliest memory is waving good-bye to the apartment building that my family was moving out of. I was two.

5. Apparently, I was waving from the back seat of my mother's Chevy Nova, sitting in a cardboard box.

6. My brother was born less than a year after that move.

7. A year after he was born, I read that part of the embilical cord stays in the baby's belly button, and eventually shrivels up and falls out. I looked for it in our living room carpet for days.

8. Most of my father's family is in New York City. We used to go up there all the time.

9. We moved to Pittsburgh when I was 6 1/2. When I found out we were leaving, I cried.

10. My favorite part of our house in Pittsburgh was our huge yard - it was a corner lot.

11. It used to look huge. Now it looks so small.

12. My friend and I used to play World Series in the backyard. I was always the Pirates or the Yankees.

13. My first crush was the little girl across the street. She moved to Georgia a couple of years after we got there. Never saw her again.

14. I used to have a love/hate relationship with my little brother. He always wanted to tag along and do everything that my friends and I did.

15. Now I just love him.

16. I got straight A's all through elementary school.

17. The kids used to make fun of me because of that.

18. Sometimes I wished that I didn't get good grades so I could fit in better. I never wished that I was white, though - I always liked being Black.

19. When, in 5th grade, I was put into 6th grade math, I kind of stopped trying, because I felt dumb working on different stuff than everyone else in math class.

20. My best friend Bill and I got into all sorts of scrapes. I wrote about one of them here.

21. He moved away when I was 14. We're still friends, though.

22. I played sports all through childhood.

23. I was terrible through age 12. Then, when I turned 13, the light went on, and I figured out that I was a good athlete.

24. It didn't help that most of the kids in school were a year older than me - probably one of the reason I couldn't keep up athletically.

25. Growing up, I always wanted to be (a) the starting QB for the Pittsburgh Steelers, (b) a point guard in the NBA, or (c) an actor.

26. But when I was 15, I decided I wanted to be a doctor.

27. And when I was 16, I went to Boys' State and Boys' Nation, met President Clinton, and decided I wanted to work in politics.

28. I never really wanted to run for office. I always thought I would make a good press secretary.

29. Politically, I'm left of center - sometimes I call myself a New Democrat, sometimes a Clinton Democrat.

30. I only registered as a Democrat because I felt (and still do) that you have to be part of one of the two parties in order to make an impact in politics.

31. I hate partisan politics with a passion. I just want competant government.

32. Even though I looked for poly-sci programs when I looked at colleges, I refused to go to a school that didn't have a theater program.

33. Of course, I also said that my school needed to be within 2 hours of a major sports franchise.

34. I had a great resume coming out of high school.

35. I was reminded several times during my high school experience, however, that some people in town/school viewed me as "just another nigger".

36. My school was 98% white; I was probably one of 15 Black kids in a school of 1600.

37. And, because of where we lived, I often felt isolated from the Black community.

38. I didn't encounter too much out-and-out racism; it would usually pop up just when I was beginning to feel comfortable.

39. For example, I had to ask three different girls to prom, because their parents didn't want them to go to a dance with a Black kid, despite my impressive resume.

40. The racism stuff affected my brother much more than me. A couple of his real friends would tell him, "Once you leave here, you won't come back." And, except for a couple of days here and there, he hasn't.

41. So, you can understand that I was quite anxious to go away to college.

42. Don't get me wrong...I love Pittsburgh, and I enjoyed high school, for the most part. But it wasn't easy.

43. My father was really worried about money for college, so he had me start looking for schools and scholarships my freshman year.

44. He also took me on a college tour the summer before my senior year, and drove me to my two top-choice schools - and stayed in a hotel overnight while I made my visits.

45. I went to Alma Mater, on a full academic scholarship.

46. To this day, when my father tells people I went there on a scholarship, they ask, "What sport did he play?"

47. I went there because I liked the school, but also because it had a strong Minority Affairs office, with a strong director that I felt would take care of me.

48. He left the school in a dispute one month before I got to campus.

49. Had he been there, I'm convinced that I would have been very involved with the black community on campus. As it was, I ended up on the fringe.

50. Before I went to college, I used to tell people, "I tried really hard to get good grades in HS. I'm going to college for the experience."

51. I really enjoyed my college experience.

52. My grades suffered for it, though. I had a 1.6 GPA at midterms of my freshman year. I thought I was going to flunk out, or, worse yet, lose my scholarship, which meant I would have had to leave.

53. I pulled it together, though - I graduated in 4 years, with a B average, I think.

54. I told myself that I wasn't going to act in college. This was the third time I had tried to walk away.

55. Of course, I ended up being heavily involved in the theater department.

56. When I decided to major in politics, however, I figured that acting would just be a hobby.

57. I thought that, after graduation, I'd try to get a job with Hillary Clinton, since she was running for Senate.

58. I'm hoping that you don't hate me because of my political ideology. I'm always nervous about mentioning it.

59. The turning point of my life was having to read the Starr Report for a Political Ethics seminar.

60. After reading that, I knew that I could never participate in politics - it's too dirty for one person to clean up.

61. I think that I might like to be involved on a local level one day, but that's it.

62. So I had no idea what to do with my life.

63. My girlfriend at the time suggested grad school. So I decided to go for it.

64. I thought I'd just apply to a couple of schools to get a feel for the process, and then really attack it hard the next year.

65. But I got into Grad School, one of my dream schools. So I went the fall after graduating from Alma Mater.

66. I started working professionally during my summers.

67. So that's how I became an actor.

68. During my second summer working in Colorado, I met a girl and fell in love.

69. We dated long distance for two years.

70. I've always been in and out of LDRs my whole life. I don't know why.

71. She moved to Sleepy Hamlet with me after she graduated. Things were perfect.

72. We lived together for five months before things went bad.

73. She needed to figure out what she wanted to do with her life.

74. I was completely crushed.

75. We were off for a few months, but then got back together. The relationship wasn't the same. And then broke up when she moved to NYC, and I stayed in Sleepy Hamlet.

76. We still talk frequently, although we're taking a break from each other right now.

77. I'm still hopeful of things working out, but I'm extremely pessimistic.

78. But I still love her.

79. As a result, I don't want to date anyone long distance for a LOOOOONG time.

80. So now I'm a serial dater.

81. And I like it. For the first time, I realized that girls like me. That's pretty cool.

82. I feel like this should be less of "my life story" and more "fun stuff about me". So I will make the necessary adjustments.

83. I love music. Hip hop is my favorite. You know that if you've seen my hip hop classes. But I like other kinds, too.

84. I played the violin for ten years. But music runs in my family. My father always wanted to be a conductor, and my brother is a musician.

85. My most prized possession is my iPod.

86. I love reading, but I don't get to do it as often as I want.

87. I'm a speed reader. Instead of reading line by line, I read in chunks. It's kind of hard to explain.

88. I'm not embarassed by the fact that I'm pushing thirty and I still watch MTV and play video games.

89. I collect friends.

90. My closest friends tend to be females.

91. I have lots of crushes on lots of women (many of them my friends), and I don't think most of them knew it. Or know it.

92. I have a man-crush on the Pittsburgh Steelers. Then again, so do most of the residents of the Steel City.

93. I am a Virgo, so I'm kind of anal.

94. For example, when I write in my journal, I always read past entries before I write, and I always put the time from my cell phone at the end. And I note if I've changed time zones.

95. I don't like to talk in the mornings.

96. In fact, I really don't like mornings. They're pretty and all, but I'm totally a "night owl", according to my grandmother. Look at the times I post.

97. I love my grandmother more than anyone, except perhaps my mother. But I don't know how to express that to her.

98. In fact, I've only recently started saying "I love you" to my close friends. It's not an easy thing for me to say.

99. As I finish this, my iTunes is playing Musiq's "You Be Alright", which I feel is entirely appropriate.

100. I think, in the end, I will be all right.

101. Thanks for reading this. I hope we can do this again next year.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

check out this blog!

Dear Lord, everybody has a blog these days. Today I'm reading the Post-Gazette, the local paper in Pittsburgh, and guess who's had a blog for almost a year? Steeler QB Ben Roethlisberger. You can check it out here.

250 comments. Steeler fans are crazy.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

4

So...I've been tagged. The culprit? Tuckergurl. This one has been going around; in addition to T, L. Britt and Melissa have also been smacked lately. (Check out their answers by clicking their names.) All right, ladies, you got me. I'll do it.


four jobs i've had

1. official scorer at basketball games. My first job. I made something like $2.50/hr, which was great because I was probably 13 or 14 when I was doing it. A ref yelled at me once because I hit the buzzer after a team scored a basket.

2. server at Boston Market. It was so long ago that it was called Boston Chicken. The pair of khakis that I wore when I worked there smelled like chicken grease for years afterwards...they still might.

3. stock boy at Kay-Bee Toy Store. Worst Xmas job ever. Teacher Barbie was popular that year - amazing what some parents will do to get their kid the season's hot toy. I used to work nights trying to put that store back together - it was a toy store, so it was impossible.

4. camp counselor at the Y. I specialized in the little kids, ages 3 to 7. I could tell you loads of stories about the kiddies...maybe on a rainy day, if you ask nicely. I've decided that every child in the world is cute...until their sixth birthday. Guess it's a preservation thing. Then, things start to change, and nature is not always kind.


four movies i can watch over and over

1. History of the World Part I. I could be performing open-heart surgery; if this movie comes on, I stop what I'm doing and watch the rest of it. Even the edited version with commercials. Hilarious.

2. Coming To America. My brother and I can recite this movie, word for word. The pinnacle of Eddie Murphy's greatness, in my opinion.

3. Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Oh, those crazy Brits.

4. Bad Boys. Much respect to Melissa and her peeps who like the sequel, but I gotta stick with the original. Big ups to Friday and Undercover Brother here too.


four places i've lived

1. Pittsburgh, PA

2. Winston-Salem, NC

3. Boulder, CO

4. Manhattan, NY


four tv shows i love

1. Scrubs. The perfect show, in my opinion. Wacky and zany, but with heart. Zach Braff and Donald Faision crack me up, and I may have a teensy crush on Sarah Chalke and Judy Reyes.

2. The Office. Someday I'll watch the British version, but the American version is pretty damn good. Laugh-out-loud, oh-my-God-did-that-really-happen funny. I always wind up watching it myself, and I always wish I had someone to share it with.

3. 24. Jack Bauer is the greatest TV man who ever lived. And, I'm totally ripping this off from the Sports Guy, but I would totally vote for David Palmer for President. At least, I would have.

4. Chappelle's Show. Such mixed feelings about Season 3. Would Dave want us to watch it? Still, if you've seen the preview on Comedy Central's website, you know it's a must-see.


four places i've vacationed

1. Block Island, RI

2. Charleston, SC

3. London

4. Bandon, OR


four favorite dishes

1. New England clam chowder. There's a place a couple of miles from my grandmother's house - it actually sits on the Atlantic Ocean - that has some of the best chowder I've ever tasted. But I'm also okay with the stuff out of the Campbell's Select can.

2. Mom's fried pork chops. My brother and I drove home one year and walked in the door at 2am. When we came up into the kitchen, my mother was at the stove frying up a batch of these. Best thing I ever tasted.

3. Apple pie. Any apple dessert, really: pie, cobbler, turnovers, doesn't matter. Ice cream, whipped cream, whatever. Long as the apple is baked, and there's a bit of a glaze/sauce, I'm happy.

4. Fried catfish and collard greens. Seriously, did you expect this not to make the list?


four sites i visit daily

1. ESPN's The Daily Quickie. Really, any part of ESPN.com, including the Sports Guy. All the sports news you need in three minutes.

2. MySpace. If this site is a drug, then I'm a crack whore.

3. Desperate Husband. Lots of blogs I read, but only two I have to check in on every day. This is one...

4. Spoke In The Wheel. ...and this is the other. But you should really check out all of the blogs on my sidebar.


four places i would rather be right now

1. Detroit. Super Bowl XL, people. Gotta support the Steelers.

2. Cowtown. Anxious for the next job to start.

3. At my parents' house, sitting around the table with my entire family. I don't get to see them nearly enough, and I miss them desperately. Same goes for my 3 main Sleepy Hamlet peeps.

4. Home. I don't know where that is, but I want one. Now.


who's next?

I really hate tagging people. I'd love to hear what DH and April and Stef and Bright-Eyes have to say, but I'm not gonna force them to do it. But, if you (or anyone else) do put it up, let me know.

Monday, January 30, 2006

late riser

Hope you all don't hate me for writing this, but I've been having a sleeping problem lately. I'm able to sleep just fine...I just can't seem to get out of bed before noon. That's probably because I haven't gone to bed until 5am the last couple of nights.

I fully admit that one of my favorite things about being an actor is not waking up to an alarm - I feel so much better when I can wake up on my own - and I also admit that I'm not a morning person, but I'd still like to be up and at 'em by 10 or so...11 at the latest. So I'm a bit disturbed by this late-to-bed-late-to-rise trend I'm developing.

I even tried a couple of nights ago to go to bed at 2:30, but I just lay there for 30 minutes staring at the ceiling. And I hate that. So I got up and played Playstation for a couple of hours. Does this happen to anyone else?

Gotta go...my show is on.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

"When it comes to the ladies, K Lance doesn't discriminate"

I'm hungry. I'm always hungry after a show, and I actually just scarfed down four chicken wings from Popeye's (which I never eat - still on that healthy diet I talked about so long ago, for the most part). That didn't do it, so I was thinking about heading over to The Cheesecake Factory and ordering something apple-flavored (dumpling or crisp) for dessert - I'm a sucker for apple pie and all of its derivatives - but they closed at 11. So, either I'm having another cup of cocoa, or I have to drive to the 24-hour grocery to satisfy my sugar fix. Neither sounds very good right now.

So, the other night, I had the "conversation" with one of my castmates. This generally happens when I become friends with a Black woman. The conversation goes something like this:

- Sorry, text/message/call from (insert K Lance's female friend's name here). You were saying?

- Mmmmhmmm. So...do you ever date black women?

And then we're off to the races. (haha - sorry, couldn't resist)

Here's the deal. I'm Black (if you're reading this blog, you probably knew that). I grew up in the suburbs, in a town that was 95% white. So, if I was going to have any kind of dating life at all, I basically had to date outside of my race. My parents weren't thrilled with the idea at first - at one point my mother told me that I "better not be bringing any lil' white girls home" - but they eventually came to realize that my brother and I didn't have any other options.

Long story short (and yes, this would be an extremely long story if I took you along every step of my thought process), I don't have a problem dating outside of my race. I believe love is blind. All things considered, I hope that my future wife is a Black woman, but I'm more concerned with finding someone who loves me for me, who treats me with respect, who loves the Steelers, etc. My brother is getting married this summer, and his fiancee is white, and I can't imagine a couple more perfect for each other.

Anyway, I wound my way through the conversation, and was very happy that my castmate was willing to listen to my point of view - she didn't jump down my throat, or make fun of me, or anything else. I mean, she still wants me to date Black women (and may help me make a connection in the future), but she respects where I'm coming from. So we're cool.

Lots more to write about, but I can't shoot my wad all at once.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Chappelle

I miss him. I can't wait to see this (in fact, I'm really pissed that I wasn't in NYC at the time to see it live). And I can't wait to see what he does next.

Real post t'm'row, I promise.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

the reformation

Update: the kid is a little bit less annoying. He's staying on topic, and I've found a great way to combat his ramblings. I just pretend that I'm totally engrossed in whatever I'm doing. He usually keeps spouting whatever he's saying, changing topics every couple of minutes, but he rarely tries to engage me. And, when he does, he's starting to be a bit more respectful, too. So maybe there's hope yet.

Last night we had an opening party, and I was sitting down talking to someone who works on the show when this little girl ran up to me and gave me a big hug. Turns out that she was the kid's little sister! And she is as nice as he is annoying. (I also think she thinks I'm cute, which, of course, is always going to win someone bonus points with me...guess that's because I didn't hear that enough as a kid, but that's another story for another time.) And then Mom came up and introduced herself, and complimented my performance, and asked me to take a picture with the kids.

So...I'm not going to kill him. Yet. Thanks to his family. But I'm reserving the right to change my mind...

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I'm ready for my close-up

There are many parts of being an actor that I like: telling stories, travel, free time and an ever-changing schedule (today, for instance, I woke up at noon). However, there is one thing that I will never ever get used to.

Buying make-up.

It just doesn't really make you feel like a man, know what I'm saying? And I'm pretty secure with my sexuality. But any time you're talking about foundation and powders...wow. Makes me want to run out and eat some meat, drink some beer, and have sex with a couple of women. Immediately.

And the sales people don't help, either. I went into MAC, which apparently makes great make-up, and the three ladies and one man behind the counter were all looking at me like, "what the hell is he doing here?" So of course I'm fumbling with my words, and I feel like I have to tell them that I'm an actor so they won't think that I'm a total idiot. Ick.

Anyway, I got my make-up, so now I can do the show and look pretty. Whoopee.

Monday, January 23, 2006

the case of the unreturned phone call

So...here's something I don't get.

I met a young lady a few weeks ago - I was shopping for pants and she was the lovely sales associate. She was obviously flirting with me - touching my legs and telling me that my ass looked good in the jeans, etc. So, as I was completing my transaction, I asked for her phone number. She gave it to me.

I called her several days later, asking about her weekend plans. She said that she couldn't hang out this weekend because she had a friend in town, but that I should call her again because she really wanted to hang out. I call five or six days later - get her machine - leave a message and my phone #.

No response.

About a week later I call again, leave a brief message and phone #.

No response.

I'm not really inclined to call again, though I did think she was pretty hot, because I kind of get the hint. What I don't get is...why did she give me her number in the first place? Why not just say, "I have a boyfriend," or, "I don't go out with guys I meet at work." Either would have been perfectly considerate, even if they were lies.

I just get annoyed when people don't communicate with me. And I guess the biggest thing for me is that because I really don't know anyone in Steak City, it's much more important for me to meet cool people than for me to score. You know what I mean? So...even if she had agreed to hang out, it wouldn't have necessarily meant that I would have jumped her bones.

Oh well. At least I have the Steelers. They'll never leave me. ;-)

Where are my pants?

My friend Matt and I say this phrase all the time, but apparently some subway riders in NYC took our directive a bit too literally...check it out.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Here we go, Steelers, here we go...

PITTSBURGH'S GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

you were right...

So...'member back when I said that my cast was boring and normal? Well, dear readers, you were right. Some oddities have popped up - and where I least expected them.

Now, before you get all excited, I have to say that there's only a couple of people in the show with me that have shown dicey-ness so far. There's still a few weeks left, so we do have more time. But there's definitely one prime offender.

The problem is that this offender is about twelve. And he's one of the brattiest kids I've ever met. He has an answer for everything. He uses big words. He's given me acting notes. Let me repeat that last one...

HE'S GIVEN ME ACTING NOTES!

I've been acting longer than he's been alive! And he always has all these crazy suggestions for the director. And the rest of us are looking around like, "Who the hell is this?" He even managed to get into a yes-you-did no-i-didn't discussion once.

If he were 22, I'd slap the shit out of him - and I'm not a violent person. But, obviously, I can't hit a minor. So...what can I do to this kid that will be (a) fun for me and (b) not emotionally or physically scarring for him? Suggestions are welcome...I'll think of a cool prize for the winner...

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

TV

Living in a hotel room and not being called to work leaves me a lot of time to watch television. And, though the experience pales to my old Moxi box in the Sleepy Hamlet, I still find some decent stuff on the boob tube every now and then. For instance, my favorite comic strip in the world, The Boondocks, is now part of the Adult Swim block on Cartoon Network. Pretty funny show - black family living in the 'burbs, trying to adjust. Hmmm...why does this sound so familiar? Anyway, the show is worth checking out, and the strip is absolutely brilliant. Let me know what you think.

I also keep seeing an old classmate of my on the tube. First it was on some MTV show, then a commercial, and tonight it was on Law & Order (along with another woman I acted with several years ago). Amazing. She only went to my school for one semester, and I didn't know her that well, but I never would have expected her to become an actor. Of course, I never thought that I'd be doing this for a living, either.

That's it for now. My one-year blogging anniversary is approaching...I'll have to do something special...suggestions are welcome...

Monday, January 16, 2006

King Day

Today at Fish & Greens we're celebrating the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. If you're fortunate to have the day off from work (I do, but I always have Mondays off), take some time to reflect on WHY.

When I was a kid, Dr. King was my ultimate hero. I felt so personally connected to who he was and what he did. I knew the stories of the '50s and '60s well, and had heard many stories from my parents and extended family. (My mother, who grew up in Virginia, recalls drinking out of "colored" water fountains as a little girl, which, to this day, still blows my mind.) Growing up in the lily-white suburbs, I knew that his work was the reason why I had the opportunities I did. And I always felt that, as the only black kid in the school, I needed to promote and defend his work.

One year, in elementary school (think it was 3rd or 4th grade), I realized (on January 14) that there probably wasn't going to be anything done by my teacher to celebrate MLK's b-day the next day. So I volunteered to write a paper and present it to the class. The teacher was very excited by my request and agreed. Of course, then I had to go home and actually WRITE the paper, and I ended up exasperating my parents by procrastinating and staying up all night. At one point I remember being really pissed off that I had agreed to do this - here I was, busting my tail for no extra credit, and why was I doing this?

I felt really good the next day, however, when I read my little paper to the class. It couldn't have been more than a page, but I think that people actually listened to me, and hopefully they got something out of it. And, more importantly, I got something out of it. It was one of the few times in elementary school that I was truly proud of who and what I was.

So, to quote the title of a book popular during my youth: "Thank You, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.!"

Sunday, January 15, 2006

YES!

Steelers 21, Colts 18.

My nerves are shot.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

new computer, please

Up late with the computer again, this time trying to back up some files and clear some space from my almost-filled hard drive. (Warning: slight techno-speak here.) I've got a partitioned hard drive, and of course I've got a sizable amount of space on the secondary one, but no space on the main one, and I don't know how to put them together. Any ideas?

I really just want to buy a new computer, but all this new technology is coming out in the next six months, and I think I should just wait, because the last thing I'll want is an outdated computer. If this crashes again in the next six months, though, I'm just gonna bite the bullet.

I have other stuff to post about, but I'll save it for t'm'row...need to get my rest for the game...I mean, work. GO STEELERS!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

"I'm so mad I could just spit"

Up late and pissed because the DVD player on my computer isn't worth shite. It keeps stopping and starting, and there's no way I can watch a movie through that.

(The title is a phrase my mom uses when she's upset.)

I've been planning to buy a new laptop sooner rather than later, and I was going to make the switch to Apple, but now they've introduced these new faster computers, and I don't want to buy old & busted and miss out on the new hotness. What's a boy to do?

Guess I'm just going to go to bed with my movie jones unsatisfied. Looks like I wasted $13 - you're welcome, Hollywood Video.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

If you ever played Nintendo as a kid...

...you'll appreciate this hilarious re-creation of Mike Tyson's Punch Out!!! Great game, and great video - can't believe they got people to play the music!

Housekeeping

I have to mention that I absolutely hate rock salt. I don't know if it's because it makes the road white, or how it feels underfoot, or what. It makes me feel icky.

I believe that The Rover's itinerary for 2006 is set. It's all subject to change, of course, based on potential jobs or vacations or defaulting on my student loans, but this looks like the general picture.

Jan - mid Feb: Steak City. You already knew that.

mid Feb - mid Apr: Cowtown, on the West Coast. Doing more Shakespeare. Good times.

late Apr: a triumphant return to Sleepy Hamlet - see the old peeps and show my old bosses that I'm actually feeding myself by working.

May - July: New York Fuckin' City. Home sweet home. I'd love to housesit for someone, if possible. (I can tell you that I'm going to NYC because 8 million people live there - much less of a chance of someone putting two and two together...of course, now that I've said that...)

early Aug: Sleepy Hamlet. Doing some work for the kids. I'm all about the kids.

mid Aug - mid Oct: Going to a West Coast city to do the same Great American Play I'm doing in Steak City - only this time, I'm playing a much bigger part. Think I'm going to call this locale "The Strip", because both times I've been there I've thought, "This town is one big dirty strip mall!" Survival there will be fun.

mid Oct - Dec: LA. Gotta go live the dream, right? Besides, I can't take winter anymore. Looking for housesitters here, too.

Wow, looking at this list, it just hit me: I really am homeless!

I'm really hoping that I'll be able to take some type of exotic vacation sometime in the summer. Any suggestions? I could even come visit some of my blogger pals...

Dating part 2

Thanks for the thoughts/comments on my previous post on this topic. I promised an explanation...

What complicates matters is the situation surrounding my previous relationship. I met her away from my home base and dated her long-distance for 2 years. We had a couple of chunks of time together during that timespan (three months being the longest), but otherwise it was long weekends and week-long vacations.

After two years she moved to Sleepy Hamlet (where I had started working) and we moved in together. Four months after she got there she was telling me she wasn't sure that she wanted to do this anymore. We took a break, and eventually broke up, which began an off-again on-again cycle that, truthfully, continues to this day.

So...my reluctance to commit to a relationship is also linked to this. I was in a long-distance relationship, and when we finally got together, things blew up in my face. I'm smart enough to know that every relationship is different, but I don't want to end up in that situation again. I'd rather establish a strong foundation to the relationship and then test it on the road. I'm just not sure that two months is enough to create that.

With all that said, I'm having a great time being single. I really like not having to answer to anyone but myself. If I feel like going out with some girl I just met on the internet, I'll do it. If I want to sit in my hotel room and watch bad movies for six nights straight, I will. I've spent most of my adult life in relationships, so this past year has been a lot of fun for me, and I think that this year will be even better.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I made a new friend!

(Full disclosure...I'm blogging after having a few drinks, so I may be a little looser than normal...)

Very exciting... I must admit that I've been going through a down phase here...as nice as all of the people in the cast are, I just haven't really clicked with anybody, and I've really just wanted to go and hang out with some cool people, get a couple of drinks, talk about whatever Gen Yers talk about, etc.

And tonight, thanks to MySpace, I did just that. Met a very cool girl and some of her friends - spent two and a half hours just hanging out. She told me that I "passed the test", and said that she'd call this weekend with more activities. So now I finally have someone to hang out with in Steak City!

I can't let this go without commenting...I really have a crush on this girl. She's really really cool, and totally gorgeous. But she kept mentioning other guys she had crushes on. Now, I know that she was telling one of these stories because she hadn't seen her friend in a while. But I was totally getting mixed signals all night. I'm not looking for a life partner here - I'm only in town for six more weeks - but I wouldn't mind making out with her. Suggestions on how to proceed, or should I forget the whole thing and just enjoy having non-work friends?

Monday, January 09, 2006

Why I'm Going to Hell

Dating Part 2 will come t'm'row. But first, an aside.

So...I've been trading stories with a friend of mine lately, and I told one that was so good, she thought I should share it with the world. Maybe this could be my opportunity to start a meme - people are always on the receiving end of them, but I never see any of them start. You could tell your best fish out of water story, or a gaff from childhood that would get you into real trouble as an adult; or, better yet, answer this question: are you going to heaven, or hell, and why? (Though that seems a bit serious.)


Anyway, the story:

When I was about 8 or 9, I pretty much lived at the house of my best friend Bill. He and I went to different elementary schools, but we always hung out together, usually playing a lot of sports, which he always seemed to win - he's one of those annoying good-at-everything types. He was also one of those advanced kids - teaching you new things about sex (which half of the time were wrong) or new bad words. (This was probably because he had two older sisters, one of whom frequently had boyfriends around the house who thought we were the coolest.) And his family always introduced us to new hip things - their instincts are uncanny. Now the term "Dr." is in front of his name, and he's got a beautiful wife and a beautiful house, and he looks like Tom Cruise.

Anyways, we frequently had sleepovers, usually at his house. One Saturday night our parents decided that I would stay over at Bill's and then we would go to a baseball game the next day. Being a huge baseball fan at the time, I jumped at the chance.

One sticking point: the day of the game was Sunday, and Bill's family was Catholic. No problem - I would just go to church with his family, we'd change in the van, and then we'd go to the game. Simple, right? One problem...I had never been to Catholic Mass before.

We get to the church, and Bill is trying his best to tell me what everything is. We passed a little basin of water on the wall and Bill dipped his fingers in and crossed himself. I just kind of looked. Bill told me it was something that I had to do. I found time later to sneak back and do it.

We sat in the back of the church for the mass, inexplicably away from his parents. Bill told me when to kneel on the...kneeler, when to pray, what to sing, etc. I remember feeling totally lost the whole time. But I did my best to keep up. All of a sudden people were getting in line while singing. Bill got up too, and pulled me up, saying, "I'm going to go get some of the wine. It's really good!"

I was horrified. Bill was talking about ALCOHOL! ALCOHOL was for grown-ups, not kids like me and him! What was he doing? Nevertheless, since he's got one of those compelling, leadership-type personalities, I got up and followed him in line. I was really nervous...I didn't know what to expect.

As I got closer to the front, I noticed that the priest at the front of the line didn't have a cup; rather, he was giving people what looked like little white cards. (I remember feeling relieved at this, since I wasn't going to have any ALCOHOL.) And the men and women who received those cards bowed their heads, and then as they walked away they placed them in their mouths - actually, I thought, under their tongues. My family had stopped going to church regularly a couple of years before, but I never remembered seeing anything like this before. Of course, when I got older, I realized that the line I was in was to receive Communion - the wafer representing the body of Christ, and the wine His blood. At the time, however, I was a little nervous about putting something so cardboard-like in my mouth. I knew that white people did things differently than us black folk, but this was a little ridiculous. The simple thing to do, of course, would have been to get out of the line and go back to my pew. But I already felt out of place, and I didn't want to do anything to call attention to myself. So I stayed on, continuing my march forward.

As I reached the front of the line, the priest smiled at me, as adults do towards children, you know, to make them feel important, and handed me the wafer. I have no idea what was going through his mind at the time. Because I didn't want to be rude, I took it, and as I walked away I pushed the wafer towards my mouth as if I was going to put it in. But, being a clever little boy, I managed to palm the wafer and put it in my pocket!

By the way, in case you didn't know, you can't receive Communion in a Catholic church without having been confirmed by the Church. I'm not 100% sure, but I think it's a pretty big sin. And what happened next was an even bigger sin. I sat through the rest of the service, and then, as we walked back out to the van, I decided (much like with the basin of water) that I should at least try and do something. I put the tiniest bit of wafer into my mouth. My suspicions were confirmed - it tasted like nothing, or white bread. I couldn't leave the thing in my pocket, and my hand was getting sweaty from carrying it. So I did what any 8 or 9 year old would do...I left it on the ground in the parking lot.

Yes, that is correct: I threw away the body of Christ.

I'm hoping that, when I get to the gates of Heaven, the Lord will cut me a break for that one.

HERE WE GO, STEELERS, HERE WE GO!

Steelers won yesterday, 31-17. Amazing how their wins and losses can affect my mood. Anyway, give it up for the Black & Gold...

Thanks for the people who commented on the dating post, both here and to my inbox. The next post will answer some of your questions...

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Dating

Hard to post when you have company in town. But now my company has left :-( so I'm back.

It's always hard for me to write in this blog because I want to remain anonymous, to some extent. This is primarily for two reasons: one, there are a couple of people in the world with whom I do not wish to share my innermost thoughts and feelings; two, it's easy enough to find my real name and picture on the internet, and since the business I'm in is all about image, I don't want to match something up with my name that isn't going to help me get to where I need to go.

That being said, I think I need to stop self-censoring myself here, especially concerning my dating life. The commentors on here that I know in real life probably know all about which girl or girls I'm talking to at any given time, and they're not going to make things any more complicated for me. (Right, guys? Thanks.) And, since dating has been such a big factor/stressor in my life over the past year, I should be writing about it. So, without further ado...

I'm in a situation where, for at least the next year, if not for the forseeable future, I'm going to be living in different cities every couple of months. Several years ago I decided that if I was ever going to be in a position where I was going to be a working actor who could support a family, I was going to have to spend several years on the road developing my career and making contacts. That way, when I decided to settle down in one spot, I would be able to use my contacts to find work, and hopefully I could spend three months on the road a year instead of nine. I could also have a stable home life and a steady stream of income (if that's possible). Then I could buy a house, have kids, etc.

At the time, I was dating a woman who I was convinced was on board with my plan. We discussed marriage, planned our future; I knew, with every fiber of my being, that she was going to be Mrs. Rover. That's no longer the case; in fact, distance was a major factor in the ending of our relationship. And so now I've entered the dating world, which is loads of fun, but I now realize that I'm just not in any one place long enough to develop a relationship with anyone. Six to eight weeks really isn't any kind of basis to start a long-distance relationship, is it? Especially when you don't know where you're going to be in six to eight months.

So now I'm in this relationship purgatory, where I meet wonderful women, where sparks fly and the chemistry is palpable, but where's there's just not enough time to really get into things. As a result, I have all of these half-finished relationships, some more serious than others, but all of them essentially unfulfilling. What's a boy to do?

I'll be providing more information on this topic when I can form my thoughts a bit better, but for now I'd love to hear some reaction to this...

Sunday, January 01, 2006

2006!

It's been a busy weekend - I have a visitor in town - so I don't have a whole lot of time, but I wanted to make sure to wish all of you and yours a healthy and happy New Year.

I'm not really one for New Year's resolutions, but I went to a Solstice Party a couple of weeks ago, and I'll share with you my list of "things I want to usher into my life" in 2006:

- truth with tact (but err with the truth)
- a passionate loving relationship with the gym
- the confidence of being a working Equity actor
- maintaining/introducing positive relationships
- communication - clear and open and honest
- vegetables 4-5 times per week
- the bravery to enter new places and situations with grace and openness
- health insurance!
- acting work that I am excited about.

Happy New Year, people. I gotta go...there may be a hot chick on my bed...

Friday, December 30, 2005

Hip-hop school VI

The last post in the hip-hop school installment. We're calling this "The Aughts" because that's a much better name for the current decade than "The Ohs" or "The Zeros". Have we officially decided this one yet?

I suppose that maybe in five years I could finish this off, but who knows? I might be totally into country music by then. And, of course, pigs could fly out of my butt.

The list:

Dr. Dre feat. Eminem - Forgot About Dre
Nelly - Country Grammar - suddenly, every black person sounds like they're from St. Louis, saying "herrrr" and "therrrr"
Ludacris - Southern Hospitality
The Roots - Break You Off - one of the best BANDS out there - just happen to rap instead of sing
Eminem - Cleaning Out My Closet - his second best song off his best album
R. Kelly & Jay-Z - Get This Money - or Fiesta, if you like - pretty much interchangeable
Eminem - Lose Yourself - one of the greatest songs in the history of music; I will not debate this
50 Cent - In Da Club
Missy Elliott - Work It - best female rapper ever
Juvenile feat Lil' Wayne & Manny Fresh - Back That Azz Up
Jay-Z - 99 Problems
OutKast - Church - lesser known track from Speakerboxxx/The Love Below - you should own this album
OutKast - A Life in the Day of Benjamin Andre (Incomplete) - see above; this is why Andre 3000 is on almost every rapper's "top 5 MCs" list
Kanye West - All Falls Down - the future of hip-hop; I think it's a good thing, but not everyone agrees with me
J-Kwon - Tipsy - hot song from '04
Mike Jones - Still Tippin' - "chopped and screwed" hip-hop from Houston
Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx - Gold Digger - how could this not be on here?


And now you know everything there is to know about hip-hop. Questions? Concerns? Comments? Hit me up.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

blogs & bad movies

Back to my normal up-at-10am-sleep-at-2am routine. So sweet. I usually spend the last hour and a half before bed reading my favorite blogs and watching bad movies on one of the Showtime channels the hotel has so kindly provided us. (I would gladly trade the two Showtime channels for MTV and Comedy Central, but I digress.) Right now I'm watching some National Lampoon Canadian movie called Going The Distance...it's actually not that bad...let's call it a poor poor man's Animal House.

Melissa wrote a great post today. Check it out. My retrospective will come this weekend.

So apparently my readers think that the inner freak of my castmates will fly as the show progresses. Valid points, all, but I still think this group is surprisingly normal. Of course, I wasn't at rehearsal today, and I won't be there t'm'row. I'll make sure and update you as the process goes on.

I'm taking the Animal House thing back...the group has actually run into an old farmer who says, "You can stay at my house, but no one can mess with my daughter." Still, you know I have to see how it ends...

Some year-end hip-hop coming in your direction t'm'row...actually, later today.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

aw, shucks

So I was all excited for the blogging possibilities with my new job. I figured that I'd definitely need to be anonymous so that I could dish all kinds of dirt about the people that I was working with.

The problem, however, is that all of my "co-workers" are nice, normal people. So far, it doesn't look like I'm going to have any salacious material to blog about. So you'll just have to settle for my normal lines of conversation: my so-called life, hip-hop, blackness, etc. Sorry.

Day 3 of living in a hotel...I have to admit that I still like it. The heater is flashing a picture of a wrench, meaning that it's broken, I guess (though the heat's still working), but otherwise everything is peachy keen.

I've got the day off t'm'row, and I'm determined to (1) go to the gym, and (2) explore Steak City. I'll try my best not to get into too much trouble.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

iTunes...


...is a major weakness of mine. Fortunately my family and friends are feeding my habit by giving me iTunes gift cards for every special occasion. Birthdays, show openings/closings, etc.

I just downloaded, like, eight songs. SOMEBODY STOP ME!

And, just so you're clear on where I stand, the iPod is the greatest invention since fire.

Steak City!

Here we are, in the lovely midwest. Arrived in Steak City last night - much bigger than I expected. Is that just New York snobbery, or genuine surprise?

Anyway, it's nice to be doing what I love in a real city for a change (hence why I'm calling it Steak CITY, to illustrate the difference). I have to go down to the hotel lobby in 45 minutes, where I will meet the rest of the cast and start working! Good times.

Have to mention the digs - I really think, at this point, that I would be happy living anywhere, after being on the road for 2 months. But I'm pretty happy with the set-up here. The hotel is nothing special - just one of the typical extended-stay hotel rooms with kitchenette and desk - but it's MINE. And no one can come in and mess with my stuff! Except the housekeepers. Negatives? The biggest one is that I don't get MTV. How will I be able to keep up with "The Gauntlet"? A sickness, I know...

While I am excited about being in one place for a while, I always think staying in a hotel room by yourself is a little bit depressing, especially if you don't know your surroundings (like me). Sometimes it feels like your world is you and the television. I'm going to have to fight that by going out into the community and making friends. Hopefully there will be some fun people in my cast to play with. And I think I may have a visitor or two while I'm here.

Off to prep for work. It's like the first day of school! I'm actually excited...

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas!

...or Happy Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus!

In the "back room" at my childhood home (awwww...). The fam is downstairs listening to music on the kickin' stereo system my brother bought for my parents (with the monetary support of his fiancee and yours truly) and eating. We have so much food here that some of it is actually sitting in the garage. Ridiculous. Meanwhile I'm up here furiously unpacking and repacking, trying to get my life together; I'm going to be in Steak City in 48 hours, and working in about 60.

Despite my massive to-do list, it's so good to be home. I love my parents, and, perhaps more importantly, I really like them. And vice versa. I don't get home all that often anymore, and I haven't seen them too much over the past couple of years (because of the distance from here to Sleepy Hamlet), so that makes the holidays that much more special.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday. Next entry will be from the hotel room I'll be calling home for the next eight weeks...no more mobile blogging, at least for now. Love to all...

Thursday, December 22, 2005

good-bye, big city

Saw Memoirs of a Geisha today...good times. Good thing I enjoyed it, too, since I walked thirty blocks to get there. Thank God the transit strike is over...oh wait...I'm leaving the city t'm'row to go home for Xmas.

So my NYC vacation has come to an end. Home to Mom & Pop for a few days, and then off to Steak City to do my 1st union gig. Not the most restful vacation ever, but it was cool. I got to see a lot of old friends, and I decided that I'm not over the city yet. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to come back here for the summer. More on that in another post.

Six hours in a car t'm'row...wish me luck...

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Hip-hop school V

This class deals with hip-hop in the late '90s. If I were a hip-hop professor, this would probably be the time I specialized in. I've probably got more CDs from this period than from any other. (Two words: Columbia House.) But there was also a lot going on musically. As a result, this class has more songs than any other - 24, to be exact. When doing class for the guys I split this lesson in two. You, my dear readers, get everything together. Here we go:

Busta Rhymes - Woo Hah!
Jay-Z feat. Foxy Brown - Ain't No Nigga
The Fugees - Fu-Gee-La
LL Cool J - Loungin (Who Do Ya Luv)
Crucial Conflict - Hay - not one of my favorite songs, but it was on top of the charts for weeks
Lost Boyz - Jeeps, Lex Coups, Bimaz & Benz
OutKast - Elevators (Me And You) - their best song, in my opinion
The Roots - What They Do - brilliant video
Nas - Street Dreams
Lil' Kim feat. Lil' Cease & Notorious B.I.G. - Crush On You (Remix)
Lil' Kim feat. Angie Martinez, Left Eye, Da Brat & Missy Elliott - Not Tonight (Remix) - a who's who of female rappers
Puff Daddy & The Family feat. Mase - Can't Nobody Hold Me Down - kind of sacrilege to remake "The Message", but this was Diddy's coming-out as a rapper
Puff Daddy & The Family feat. Notorious B.I.G., Lil' Kim & The L.O.X. - It's All About The Benjamins (Remix)
Mase - Feel So Good
Jay-Z - Hard Knock Life (The Ghetto Anthem) - someone's gotta fill the void left by 2Pac & Biggie, and this is the man who stepped up
Lauryn Hill - Lost Ones
DMX - Get At Me Dog
OutKast - Rosa Parks - the group starts to be embraced by the mainstream
Missy Elliott - The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly) - may be the greatest female rapper of all time - her first hit
Black Star - Definition
Big Punisher - Still Not A Player
Will Smith - Gettin' Jiggy Wit It - yes, the Fresh Prince made the cut, 'cause it's a great song
Ja Rule - Holla Holla - DMX lite, but a good song; before he got on the duet tip
Mos Def - Umi Says - from Black On Both Sides, which could be the most underrated album of the decade

Strike! (and a couple of other things)

DH tagged me the other day - first time it's ever happened to me - and I decided to post my response over at my other blog. After all, Infinite Monkeys is billed as "a place for everybody". So head over there if you want to find out what makes me weird.

Day 1 of MTA Transit Strike '05. Fortunately I'm staying at my brother's place in 2NY, so I'm safely out of the fray. The pictures that we're seeing on the news are crazy - traffic is as bad as I've ever seen it. I was supposed to meet up with some friends tonight, but I don't think that's going to happen.

This is the third major event that New York's been hit with in the last five years (9/11 - obviously on a bigger scale - and the blackout of '03 being the others), and each time I've been amazed at how New Yorkers have behaved. Specifically, everyone stays fairly calm and pulls together to make the best of a bad situation. Not only are people calm, but they actually seem to be in a good mood!

This is really different from the New York I grew up knowing. Much of my family is from this area, and I remember hearing all sorts of horror stories about the city growing up from them. And, if you've ever read any of the many books written about the city in the '70s, you know that the city was on shaky ground in many ways. Anyway, that's probably why I half-expect the city to explode and descend into anarchy every time something major happens.

Hip Hop School update coming soon - I'm trying to keep them as separate posts, for the most part...

Monday, December 19, 2005

try velcro!

Now, I'm not an angry guy, but I'm sitting here in my brother's living room, and for the past half hour all I have heard is this constant POUNDING from downstairs - first on the front door, now all over the place, and IT'S DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY! WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE? Jeez Louise...

I feel slightly better now. Thank you.

Another fun story, inspired from Melissa's post (and her reader's comments) about weird people doing weird things today: I went to the local pharmacy this afternoon to get a prescription refilled. When I returned to pick up said medicine there was a very old man at the front counter (who I later noticed took about 4-inch steps when he finally started walking) arguing with one of the cashiers. The conversation went something like this (picking up in the middle):

OLD MAN: But these laces are fifty inches!

CASHIER: (frustrated) I'm sorry, but we don't carry 50 inch shoelaces. These laces are 72 inches.

OLD MAN: No, I bought 50 inches! The girl said 50!

CASHIER: Sir, I sold you these laces, and I never said they were 50 inches.

OLD MAN: Well, where did the 50 come from?

CASHIER: I don't know. We only sell two kinds of shoelaces, and they're both 72 inches. These are the ones I sold you, the brown ones, and they're 72 inches.

OLD MAN: Well, how am I supposed to get 50 inch laces?

HELPFUL WOMAN IN LINE NEXT TO OLD MAN: You may just have to cut them down to 50 inches. You could try that.

OLD MAN (to HELPFUL WOMAN): How'm'I going to cut them down to 50 inches? How'm'I supposed to do that? Look at me? I want 50 inches.

(HELPFUL WOMAN looks slightly hurt, shrugs, pays for her merchandise and leaves)

CASHIER: (annoyed) We don't have 50 inches. These are the only brown laces we have, and they're 72.

OLD MAN: But these ones I brought in here are 50 inches!

CASHIER: No, they're not. They're the same as these laces, and they're 72 inches.

OLD MAN: (rebellious) Well, what am I supposed to do?

CASHIER: (visibly annoyed; she'd probably say something really rude if he wasn't ancient) Well, you could do what the lady suggested. You could cut them down to 50 inches yourself.

OLD MAN: How'm'I supposed to do that? I want 50 inch laces!

CASHIER: We don't have 50 inch laces. We only have 72.

OLD MAN: Well, what are you gonna do about it?

GUY BEHIND ME: (in a slightly homicidal tone) Give him his money back. Please. Give him his money back so that we can all go on with our lives.


They gave him a store credit. Thank God. You gotta love New Yorkers.

More exciting posts coming soon. DH tagged me, so I've got to respond. And there's more Hip Hop School on the way, too...

Saturday, December 17, 2005

at long last...it's time for class!


I've promised and promised, and you've patiently waited. And now, at long last, here is the resumption of the ever-popular Hip Hop School. And, to celebrate, I'm making this the first ever Fish & Greens entry with a picture - how's that for festive?

For some background on how this originated, read this entry from March (I admit, I updated it a little bit). If you want to get up to speed, look at Lesson 1 - The '80s; Lesson 2 - The Early '90s (East Coast); and Lesson 4 - Biggie & 2Pac.

Today we're going to look at Lesson 3 - The Early '90s (West Coast). I admit that I am not the foremost expert on West Coast rap, being from the East Coast myself, but, as Jay-Z says, "I know a lil' bit." As with the earlier lists, this is skewed to my taste; for example, while E-40 is a very popular rapper who has been around a long time, I really don't care for him, so he's not on my list. But you should probably check him out anyway. Onto the list...drumroll, please...

Warren G - Regulate - I love Nate Dogg
N.W.A. - Straight Outta Compton
Dr. Dre f/Snoop Dogg - Wit Dre Day (And Everybody's Celebratin')
Rappin' 4-Tay - Playaz Club
Digital Underground - Doowutchyalike
Dr. Dre f/Snoop Dogg - Nuthin' But A 'G' Thang - if you're serious about this class, you should really buy "The Chronic"
N.W.A. - Fuck Tha Police
Too $hort - I'm A Player
Dr. Dre f/RBX and Snoop Dogg - Let Me Ride
Ice Cube - It Was a Good Day
Snoop Dogg - Murder Was The Case


I'm a big believer that N.W.A. were the ones who really got West Coast hip hop off the ground, and that's why so many of these songs are from members of that group. Feel free to add more songs to the list...

Thursday, December 15, 2005

ex tour '05

As a general rule, I've decided not to blog much about my dating life. There's a whole list of reasons why I've decided to do this, but that's another post for another day. However, I can't resist writing about this little aspect of my trip to the city:

The main reason why I came here for two weeks (instead of visiting Mom and Dad, getting completely rested up and spending no money) was to see my old friends. And, for some reason, a lot of my friends I've seen this week have been ex-girlfriends. I think the count is up to three already (it would have been four, but one of them cancelled on me).

It's always interesting to see someone that you used to date. I always find myself asking two questions: why did I go out with you in the first place? and would I ever go out with you again? Those aren't necessarily negative questions, either. Sometimes I end up totally clicking with someone and wondering why I ever broke up with them in the first place. Of course, I can also totally have a great time with someone and walk away saying, "That's why things never worked out, and that's why nothing will ever happen again."

When I tell people that I'm seeing so-and-so, who I dated for two months in the summer of '01, or whatever, people always say, "How can you be friends with so many of your exes?" And I don't really have a good answer for that. Sure, I go through periods of time, especially when I break up with someone, when we're not really talking. But we always seem to end up reconnecting. I guess I value being friends with the women I date first - after all, if you don't like someone, why would you want to make out with them?

Off to see The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe - one of my favorite books from my childhood. And I'm only going to pay $6, which is a steal in this town...

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

homeless!

Sitting at my brother's house, not really doing anything...this is turning out to be one of those "rest days" that I sorely needed. I think I'm having dinner with a friend in the city tonight, so I will have to get fully dressed. But that doesn't have to happen for a couple of hours.

So I'm technically homeless right now, and I'm starting to feel the strain a little bit. I'm really itching for a place to call my own. It's obviously kind of pointless right now, since I'm going to be moving from city to city for the next few months, but I kind of wish I had a spot where I could just sit and relax and not worry about anybody messing with my stuff. That's one of the reasons I'm looking forward to going to Steak City...my own place!

Off to the kitchen, in search of sugar (it'll be good to start working out regularly again, too...)

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

another night...

...another party. Tonight I hung out with my old friends Bright Eyes and L. Britt - good times. Went back to the old stomping grounds - can't believe I've been away from NYC almost as long as I lived there. Weird. I was trying to explain to L. Britt why this place doesn't feel like home anymore, but I couldn't quite do it - I still can't. I love New York so much, but it's really hard being here when you don't have a "home" to go to.

I've been on vacation for a couple of days and I'm already tired. I keep running to and fro, seeing old friends. And it's great to catch up with people, but I also really need this time to refuel. Here's hoping I can sneak in a couple of restful days...

Sunday, December 11, 2005

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhh

Writing this at a coffee shop down the street from my brother's place. I'm writing from a coffee shop because said shop is the nearest warm location to the train station. And why am I in need of a warm location? Because I missed the Metro-North train bythismuch (about 20 seconds, to be exact), and now my evening plans are in ruins.

Where did I lose those precious twenty seconds? Was it navigating through the snow? Waiting for a traffic signal? Dodging that dude on a bike? Answering my cell phone while walking down the street? Catching that last play of the Chiefs-Cowboys game? Trying to update my iPod? Going to the bathroom before I left so I wouldn't have to go on the train or in the subway? Talking to my brother and his fiancee? I wish I knew where that time went. Then I would have something (or someone) to be mad at. As it is, I can only be pissed at myself.

Oh yeah, almost forgot. I'm in New York. Yay. Actually, my brother lives in one of the urban suburbs just north of the city (we'll call it North New York, or 2NY for short). Said suburb is apparently getting very trendy...lots of fancy buildings going up all over the place. I stayed here last night, and now I'm headed to visit my dear friend in Brooklyn (though I'm picking her up at her place of employment in Manhattan). So in a little over an hour, I'll be back on my island...

Happy Sunday to all. I know it was for me (until this incident) because the Steelers won...

Saturday, December 10, 2005

In the airport...

...paying once again for wi-fi. I think I may be addicted to the internet...why else would I pay so much money for such a short period of time?

Wi-fi is also one of the two things I'm pissed off about. This wi-fi connection won't let me access iTunes, and I have about 10 songs that I really wanted to download and listen to on this flight. Maybe I'll be able to get on it in Cincinnati (my 3-hour layover - good times).

The other thing I'm annoyed about...I spilled coffee all over my clean white t-shirt while getting out of the Smooth Ride this morning. And since my extremely trendy hoodie has a cheap busted zipper, I can't hide the stain. Now hundreds of people are going to think I'm a slob.

Now boarding one of those stupid regional jets...

Friday, December 09, 2005

one more thing...

Yeah, yeah, I know...three posts in one day. The world must be coming to an end.

I was doing some much needed clean-up work on the ol' blog, and I realized how many times I've promised to put up the next installments in my hip-hop class. And yet...they never made it. Now, I know that the general public is clammoring for a drink from my refreshing well of musical knowledge, so I pledge to you, my trusty readers, that while on vacation in NYC, I will post all parts of the class that was Hip Hop School.

I'm going to aim for one a day next week (I think the pad I'm crashing at will have internet access), so, starting Monday, look for hip hop goodness from me, K Lance.

And maybe, just maybe, if you're good...I'll have another surprise for you...

we're done!

The tour is finally over. We are done. Good times. Thanks to all the kids that listened, the people that put us up, and the teachers who helped organize things for us.

And, by the way, I felt no sadness at all. Just a tremendous amount of relief.

So now my two week vacation starts. I'm going to spend most of it in NYC, reconnecting with my old peeps and trying not to spend too much money. So, if you're in the area, and you wanna grab a frosty beverage, give me a holla...

I'll probably check back in on Monday...have a good weekend!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

the end (for reals)

Just hit me that I'm going to be unemployed starting at noon on Friday. It's only for three weeks; don't worry, I'll be fine. It's not the unemployment that bothers me; it's that I'm leaving my company. Even though I'm in Kansas, I was still connected to Sleepy Hamlet, and now that last string is being severed. It's kind of like throwing away that last trinket your ex gave you. You know it's time, but it still kind of stings a little bit.

I wonder if I'm going to be sad at all t'm'row, or if I'll just be relieved to begin my three week vacation. (Probably the latter; that's how I felt after my last show.) I'll let you know...

snow days - not just for kids anymore!

Woke up this morning at 7:50 (which is pretty late for a weekday) and saw that I had a message on my celly. It was the teacher from today's school - no class today! Too much snow. So I went back to bed. I ended up getting almost ten hours of much needed sleep, then got up, ate breakfast, read an old Rolling Stone, went to the post office, watched Pardon The Interruption. Good times.

Now I'm sitting around waiting for prime-time television to start. T'm'row is the last day of tour, and I've got to say that I'm pretty excited. It also marks the end of my association with my company in Sleepy Hamlet . Feels kind of like graduating from college - I'm entering the big bad world - so cold! so scary! I'm on my own!

One of the friends of the people that we're staying with made us our favorite desserts - apple pie for me, chocolate cake for Raf. SO GOOD. I've been trying to be good while I've been here - working out on the treadmill, eating the right things - but I have a feeling that it's going to be tough going when I get to the city. Going to have to go back on the "Judge Judy" workout plan (which I really should post one of these days - it's great!) when I get to Steak City.

Typing all that about the desserts made me hungry. Time for a slice of pie...

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

cold!

This tour has suffered through almost every type of weather known to man. Yesterday morning Rafael and I went out to the car at 7:30am. Temperature, according to the Ford Explorer: 4. That's four degrees. F, not C. I was outside for maybe 30 seconds, and my legs were stinging from the cold.

This morning, when we went to the car - same time - it was a tad warmer: 7 degrees. However, it's not getting any warmer as the day goes on - I believe we're currently at 9. And the forecast says that we're supposed to get 6-8 inches of snow by t'm'row morning. There's about an inch on the ground already. I did plan ahead this time; pulled out the thermals! So at least I'm warmer...although my leg hair is going to hurt later.

So we've had rain, hail, snow (and blizzard!), wind, thunder & lightning, and extreme cold. The only thing we're missing is locusts.

All right, enough fooling around on the computer. I've got to try and head back to the high school. Thank God for 4-wheel drive. By the way, I've been meaning to point your attention to the Blogs I Like section - I've added a couple more that you should peruse.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

tired musings

Have I mentioned that I'm ready for a vacation yet? Well, I am.

Don't know if I said anything about this previously, but my Turkey Day trip to New England meant that I missed my class reunion back in the 'burgh. Last night they posted some pictures from said reunion - it's amazing how some people change completely, and how other look exactly how they looked in HS. (I'm probably in the latter group; I've just filled out a little.) Everyone looked like they were having a great time, and part of me really wishes I could have been there. However, at the moment that this reunion was taking place, I was sitting around a table with my entire family, and that hasn't happened in almost a year. And we had one of the best conversations we've ever had. I wouldn't give up that moment for anything. I suppose you could say that everything works out.

My reunion feelings strike me as particularly interesting, since I'm currently working in high schools. I look around the room and wonder where all of these kids are going to end up. Am I preparing the next Tom Hanks? Will one of these kids grow up to be President? Or maybe there's someone in this group is going to eventually commit murder, or die tragically, or save someone's life. Sometimes I think I need to turn my brain off.

Debating whether or not to work out, or just get dinner. Topeka is home to every chain restaurant in America, I swear. Question: am I weird for not wanting to eat at Hooters? I definitely have a weakness for pretty women, but I just feel kind of dirty going in there to eat/pick up food. Does that make any sense?

(Damn, someone needs a lot of affirmation today...)

Monday, December 05, 2005

"freshen up the wig" part 2

Ain't nobody dope as me, I'm just so fresh so clean (so fresh and so clean clean!)
- OutKast

The wig is fresh. Went to the barber on Saturday afternoon - not only did I get my hair cut at a reasonable price, but I'm now all caught up on MTV's Making The Band. Apparently I was the only one in Topeka who didn't know what was going on. Go figure.

Warning: I'm feeling kind of scatter-shot tonight, so this will probably be a notes-style post. You have been warned...

Yesterday I went to the Chiefs-Broncos tilt at Arrowhead Stadium in KC. Great crowd, great atmosphere, but lousy result, 'cause the Chiefs won and the Steelers needed them to lose.

Got back in the saddle today...went to a school named after Narnia stuff. The entire school is going to see The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe on Friday, which I thought was kinda cute and a touch creepy. Only four days left of tour. Thank God.

Speaking of tour, I'm really getting tired of going to bed early and getting up even earlier. I'm a 10am-2am kind of guy, and having to get up early for school (plus all the time changes I've been going through lately) are kind of messing with me. I really need a three week vacation to catch up on sleep, but that's never going to happen. Gotta keep sayin' my new mantra: 4 days left. 4 days left. 4 days left...

The weather here in Kansas is, to put it bluntly, miserable. The temperature outside right now is 15, but with the wind chill it's a cool -4. T'm'row: high 20, low 9. Wednesday: high 17, low 4. I can't tell you how much I miss the Left Coast right now...

Been struggling with the title/purpose of this blog lately. I really enjoy posting, but I'm not sure that my reasons for writing are clear to the masses. Maybe I need to not worry about what other people think and keep plugging away. After all, a blog is basically an online journal, right? And, last I checked, you're reallly supposed to journal for yourself. Getting feedback from others (which I love, by the way, and I thank you for reading) is a bonus.

5 days until my triumphant return to NYC...

Friday, December 02, 2005

"freshen up the wig" part I

So...I don't know if non-black people are aware of this, but cutting our hair is a bit different than other people's hair. And, as a general rule, most black folk prefer to have another black person cut our hair, you know, since they deal with it themselves every day.

I haven't had my hair cut in over a month, and it's kind of getting unruly, so I decided that I was going to look for a barber in Topeka. (By the way, I don't think I've mentioned this before, but Kansas is WAY more diverse than I thought it would be - props to Kansans.) I met a black teacher at the school I was at today, and she gave me the address of a barber who was open late on Fridays. I was very excited.

I drove all the way over to the barber shop, which is on the opposite side of town from my temporary domicile, parked the Smooth Ride I'm driving, and strolled in the shop...where I was informed by the barber that he was booked solid for the next week. He pointed me across the way to another barber shop, which (1) looked WAY sketchier, and (2) was closed. I called the number on the sign and, as the message stsrted playing, realized that it was someone's pager or cell phone, so I didn't leave a message. Ten minutes later I received the following phone call, with loud rap music playing in the background:

Hello?

This *&%#$@&*. Who this?

Uh, this is K-Lance.

You call me?

(Realizing who this probably is)

Yeah...I need to get my hair cut.

Well, I'm done for the night, son.

Okay...are you open tomorrow?

Yeah. But don't hit me up until 12 or so, 'cause I got to take care of someone before then.

Okay. Hey, are...

CLICK.


So I guess I'm getting my hair cut t'm'row.

I kind of want to go out tonight, but I know ABSOLUTELY NO ONE in this town, other than my partner. And all of the people I met this week were either 18 (or younger), or too old to go to bars. So I guess I'm going to sit in this nice house and read some old Rolling Stones. If you're in the area and want to entertain me, or know of anything fun to do around here, please let me know...

Thursday, December 01, 2005

sibling rivalry

My friend Stef has been blogging for a few months now - she took a break in October, but she's got some good stuff. But now Stef is annoyed...because her older sister, Annie, has started her own blog. Her first entry is one of the best reasons for starting a blog that I've ever heard...I laughed my ass off.

So this is what you have to do. First, read Annie's blog (it just started last week, so it won't take you very long). Then, go check out Stef's blog and leave her a comment so that she doesn't feel unloved. Once you read this post of hers, you'll understand.

Always trying to hook y'all up with The New Hotness...