Thursday, October 27, 2005

Small town life is SO wonderful...

FYI, got that new drivers' license last week - scored 100% on the test. So now I feel like an official resident of my West Coast State. Which is great, seeing as how I'm only going to be a resident of said state for ten more days...

Still procrastinating on the packing. Time is quickly running out... I really should go to the gym, but I can't find the motivation to do that, either. What is wrong with me?

Had to deal with yet another dramatic situation last night. Sleepy Hamlet is such a small town, and there's a teeny-tiny social scene, so if you do anything questionable, everybody knows about it five minutes later. Anyway, one of my good friends is dating one of my best friends, and the good friend apparently went on a date with/made out with some chick at a bar a couple of nights ago.

So I convened with the other members of the Foursome (there's four of us who are supertight, including Best Friend - we all came to the Sleepy Hamlet together and three of us are moving away next week) and we decided that I had to tell Good Friend that if he didn't reveal his infidelity to Best Friend, I would. Not the most fun phone call of my life, let me tell you. Good Friend sent me a text message about 30 minutes ago, telling me that he told her, and that (politely) we should stay out of his business. My response to that would be, "If you didn't make out in bars with strange women, it would be a lot easier to do that."

I'm pretty sure I'm in the right here. There's a lot more to this situation, because of all the history, but it would take days to tell the whole backstory.. I'm just glad it's least, I hope it's over...

Tuesday, October 25, 2005


My little brother proposed to his girlfriend last night! (She said yes.)

I'm very excited for them - they've been an item for almost five years, and she's basically part of the family already. It's just nice to know that the government will recognize her place, too.

He's almost three years younger than me, and in some ways I feel a little dysfunctional - isn't the older sibling supposed to settle down first? Not only am I not getting married anytime soon, but I'm not even sure I've met Ms. Right yet. Don't get me wrong - 95% of the time I'm completely ok with this fact. It comes with the lifestyle I've chosen, after all.

Anyway, props to the kids - very proud of you both. Looking forward to being in the wedding...

Monday, October 24, 2005

Tales from the Safeway

This definitely qualifies as one of the super-fun adventures I'm supposed to be blogging about.

I'm at the grocery store the other night...picking up a couple of beers before heading over to console my friend who's had his heart broken. I'm standing in the booze aisle, where a young lady is looking over the selection. Very cute, blonde hair, on the short side, casual but stylish. She does the look-at-you-'til-you-look-over-at-me-then-I'll-turn-my-head thing. Looks back and smiles at me, I smile at her. She comes over to me.

"Excuse me, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure..." (of course I'm thinking she's going to ask me out or something)


(Stunned silence)


"Do you know where I could find watermelon?"

(Is this a joke? Is she joking right now? She did NOT just ask the black guy if he knew where the watermelons he's got that location memorized, along with all the fried chicken joints.)


"I just don't know where it could be..."

(I don't even LIKE watermelon! Did someone tell her to do this to black people? Is this some kind of sorority prank?)

(More silence)

(Less hypersensitive section of brain kicks in, focuses on cooler in front of face)

"Um, do you mean...watermelon-flavored ALCOHOL?"


(Oh dear God...I thought I was going to have to kill this woman...)

"Well, there's some watermelon Smirnoff right in front of us..."

"Oh, yeah...that's exactly what I wanted! Wow, thank you so much!"

(Still stunned)

"Um, no problem."

"Cool. Well, have a good night..."

"You too..."

I have to get out of this town.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Love & Licensing

Kind of fired up today. Two reasons:

1) A very long story, but I essentially am being forced to get a new drivers' license. My old state didn't send me the right kind of license, and can't send me the right type for two weeks. And the next phase of my job requires me to rent a car, which I can't do with an expired out-of-state license. So I'm feverishly cramming for the written exam, which is all this West Coast state requires me to take. But I've got to burn $60, on top of the $30 I already sent to my ex-state... You can probably feel my pain.

2) One of my friends had his girlfriend break up with him over the phone - she just moved to the Midwest a month ago. This girlfriend, who is also a friend of mine, has a habit of doing this - she moves to a new place, dumps her old boyfriend, and picks up a new one. We all thought that this relationship was different. Apparently not.

It just burns me up that someone can tell another person that they love them, and then chuck them aside as soon as they find something else they want to have sex with. Love is messy and hard and thrilling and exhausting, and it is never ever casual. I just don't get how some people can toss that word around. If I tell you I love you, it means something. I don't say it very often, and I don't say it to very many people, because it means something. I wish this woman had the same respect for it that I do. I hope she grows up.

Maybe people need to get a license to allow them to fall in love, or get married. You know, show some responsibility, know how to make a person feel important, learn how to kiss correctly (that's important). Demonstrate your capability.

Off to do more cramming...did you know that, if necessary, you may park a vehicle on the shoulder of a highway if passing traffic has enough room to get by and if your vehicle can be seen from 200 feet in each direction? Exciting stuff, no?

Monday, October 17, 2005

The end is nigh.

The lack of motivation continues.

Did a little sumptin'-sumptin' for my company's volunteers tonight - gave them a taste of the skillz. Always good to remember the little people...even if you're a little person yourself.

Three weeks left in the Sleepy Hamlet. Although I may make a return trip a week after I leave, for various and sundry reasons. I'm slowly getting to the point where I'm not going to be able to put off packing much longer...

No decision as of yet. Maybe you can help. The question:

New York or Los Angeles?


Thursday, October 13, 2005

sleepy puppy

Very tired today. Very little motivation to do anything. Which is bad, since I actually have to work around 5, and I need to be at my best then. I'm actually so tired that I feel like I'm hungover - and that's really hilarious, 'cause I haven't had a drink in days.

Friend drama is pretty much squashed. One friend was talking about her relationship, and dropped a bombshell that the rest of us weren't expecting, and another friend called her on it. Alcohol was involved, so everyone overreacted. So I spent Sunday night and Monday day trying to make sure that everyone was cool with everyone else. The way I see it, I've got three and a half weeks left with these people, and I don't want any of that time to be ruined by stupid fights over stupid things. "Now, you kids go play nice in the sandbox."

Still don't know where I'm going to be living come January 1. Of course, as a general rule (because of my job), I have no idea where I'm going to be in six months. I'm optimistic, however, that I'll be able to decide in ten days or so. Start the clock...

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Late night post

Steelers won tonight - I'm excited. Not so thrilled about Big Ben's injury, though. More on that t'm'row.

I am the consummate peacemaker. I smooth over rough patches like concrete. I've been doing it all my life. Maybe I should be a diplomat or something. Maybe I'll tell more of that story t'm'row, too...

Four weeks left in the Sleepy Hamlet...good times.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Love & Hate

Still trying to figure out what this site should look like. Feel free to let me know of any great ideas you have here.

A story from earlier in the week - went to a wedding - perhaps two of the nicest people in the world got married. It was a great ceremony - touching and funny and loving - fit their personalities perfectly. One of those weddings which really makes you want to fall in love.

There was a big break between the ceremony and the reception (so that we could eat dinner on our own, which was kind of cool), so a few of my friends and I headed towards a bar to have a drink in the newlyweds' honor. On the way there we ran across another friend of ours on the sidewalk in front of the movie theater (which is on the main street "downtown"), pacing back and forth. It's a really long story, but basically he had some words with a guy inside the theater about a lady they both like, and my friend asked this guy to "step outside". And after a couple of minutes, the guy came tearing out of the movie theater, and he and my friend tussled for a while, and eventually we broke it up (with the help of an extremely brave older gent) and got everybody out of there before the cops showed up.

It was ironic - we come from a wedding, all about peace and love, and walk into a fight, which was all about hatred and passion. My Sleepy Hamlet never ceases to amaze.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


I had an asthma attack yesterday. For those of you not lucky enough to have asthma, it basically feels like a giant animal is stepping on your chest. I always picture a huge horse.

Anyway, I thought for a minute there that I was going to pass out in front of 600 people. Managed to make it through and went to the doctor afterwards, where I was given a liberal dose of steroids and told that it was probably just a cold. Sure enough, I woke up this morning and the horse had moved to the inside of my face.

So I'm sick again. In order to make me feel a little bit better, my doctor gave me a teapot/watering can-looking thingy called a neti pot. You fill it with water and a dash of salt, insert it into one nostril, and let the mixture run in one nostril and out the other. It's a little bit weird at first, but it starts to feel good after a while. Geez, I'm learning all sorts of crunchy hippy-type things in my Sleepy Hamlet.

And, on the subject of finding a good purpose for this blog, I may have found one. I'm moving to a major city at the beginning of next year, but it may be a different one than I originally intended. So it could be about my super-fun adventures in a Big City. More on this situation as it develops...

Sunday, October 02, 2005

August Wilson 1945-2005

Greatest American playwright ever. All due respect to O'Neill and Williams, but August is #1 in my book. I got a chance to meet him a couple of years ago at a picnic, and he was such a generous man...took time out to talk to a young guy from his hometown. A true class act. He will be missed.

NY Times obit here
. Or go to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette for coverage.