i can't believe it

I'm back, baby.

Yeah.

Internet in the crib. So nice.

Uh-huh.

I had the day off from my crappy temp job, and I've spent most of it on the internets, refamiliarizing myself with the lay of the land. It's been pretty nice.

So...expect to see me a lot more. But for right now, please excuse me. I have to prepare for my date.

Wednesday

...marks my triumphant return. I'm looking forward to rejoining the virtual world. It will be interesting to see if I have any readers left...

guess where I am?

A Starbucks.

That's right.

Time Warner Cable has failed me...again. Failed us all, really.

I have no idea when I'll be able to get back online again from home. It's one thing to go a week or two without internet access...but TWO MONTHS? It's ridiculous. I wish I had a better option. (I mean, there are other options, but they all come with super-high prices and/or data limits, which are non-starters for me.)

So...yeah. Hopefully, I'll be back soon.

(sigh)

June 15

That's the date that my internet is supposed to be back up. You're actually pretty lucky that I'm not blogging every day right now - my days aren't very exciting. It's usually a variant of the following routine.

- wake up
- turn on NY1
- breakfast
- channel surfing (usually between ESPN, TLC, and MTV)
- gym
- home to shower/lunch
- coffee shop to internet
- home for dinner
- more TV (usually NBA hoops)
- sleep

Occasionally I'll hang out with a friend. But that's pretty much it.

I know, I know, it sounds sad. I'm actually feeling more motivation as of late. I'm hopeful that I'm getting back to my true self, post-breakup. And you'll hear all about it...as soon as Time Warner gets things going...

i graduated from college ten years ago today

Wow, do I feel old.

Internet hoping coming in the next couple of weeks. Check back June 1.

a hiatus-breaking comment

Because I have to tell someone:

You know what drives me crazy?

I go into a fine coffee establishment that advertises "free" wireless. Because, you know, you're supposed to pay for the internet by purchasing something, I do. A cup of coffee. A muffin. A cupcake. All of the above.

Then I find a seat. Pull out my laptop. Plug it in...and the f'n internet doesn't work.

Seriously?

You couldn't, like, put up a sign saying that it's down? Idiots.

I hate that.

internet hiatus

Because I can't reliably get online, I'm going to hold off on posting for a while. I'm writing some things in my journal, and will get them up when I get internet in my new place. And that will happen whenever Time Warner decides to stop dickin' around.

Back soon, promise.

"each day gets better"

Yeah, right.

Sorry for the blatant pessimism...it just hasn't been the best of days. I'm having a "bad Maxine day", meaning that I miss her a lot and can't stop thinking about her and want to call her and say why can't we work this out? Even though I know we can't.

I'm also frustrated because I don't have a job, and my New York unemployment (which was supposed to start paying me today) is all messed up. I have no idea when I'm going to get any money, and even when I do it probably won't be enough to live on. I'll be lucky if I can cover all of my bills.

And I still don't have internet at home.

I just want to fast forward to the end of May and see where I'm at. I feel like things will be better for me in a month. I'm just tired of being unhappy/frustrated/sad. I'd like an attitude transplant, please.

really really over

We got together last night, ostensibly so that I could pick up my stuff from her place, but mostly so that we could have some closure. It was a good conversation, for the most part. We're pretty much on the same page, I think. Well, mostly.

It was almost fun for the first couple of hours, but the last ten minutes or so, when I was trying to leave - so painful. Lots of crying, hugging, etc. It was easily one of the worst moments of my life. I bawled like a baby.

Today, however, I feel much better than I expected to. Lighter, freer, sort of. The burden that I've been carrying around for the past three months is gone. I'm still very sad, and I know that will come in increasingly diminishing waves over the next few months, but the sun came up this morning, and I'm still alive. So that's a positive thing.

Now, if I could just get online from my apartment...

the deed is done

I broke up with her last night. I don't have the energy to give a full blow-by-blow; besides, we're meeting on Saturday. I was just going to go over and pick up my stuff when she was gone, but she said that she "didn't want to end things like this", so there will be one more conversation. I've been crying a lot, but I think I've gone twelve hours now, so that's a positive sign.

I'm really, really sad.

I don't have internet at my place, so I will be even more scarce than usual for a couple of weeks. Looking forward to unburdening my soul soon.