Monday, January 30, 2006

late riser

Hope you all don't hate me for writing this, but I've been having a sleeping problem lately. I'm able to sleep just fine...I just can't seem to get out of bed before noon. That's probably because I haven't gone to bed until 5am the last couple of nights.

I fully admit that one of my favorite things about being an actor is not waking up to an alarm - I feel so much better when I can wake up on my own - and I also admit that I'm not a morning person, but I'd still like to be up and at 'em by 10 or so...11 at the latest. So I'm a bit disturbed by this late-to-bed-late-to-rise trend I'm developing.

I even tried a couple of nights ago to go to bed at 2:30, but I just lay there for 30 minutes staring at the ceiling. And I hate that. So I got up and played Playstation for a couple of hours. Does this happen to anyone else?

Gotta show is on.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

"When it comes to the ladies, K Lance doesn't discriminate"

I'm hungry. I'm always hungry after a show, and I actually just scarfed down four chicken wings from Popeye's (which I never eat - still on that healthy diet I talked about so long ago, for the most part). That didn't do it, so I was thinking about heading over to The Cheesecake Factory and ordering something apple-flavored (dumpling or crisp) for dessert - I'm a sucker for apple pie and all of its derivatives - but they closed at 11. So, either I'm having another cup of cocoa, or I have to drive to the 24-hour grocery to satisfy my sugar fix. Neither sounds very good right now.

So, the other night, I had the "conversation" with one of my castmates. This generally happens when I become friends with a Black woman. The conversation goes something like this:

- Sorry, text/message/call from (insert K Lance's female friend's name here). You were saying?

- Mmmmhmmm. you ever date black women?

And then we're off to the races. (haha - sorry, couldn't resist)

Here's the deal. I'm Black (if you're reading this blog, you probably knew that). I grew up in the suburbs, in a town that was 95% white. So, if I was going to have any kind of dating life at all, I basically had to date outside of my race. My parents weren't thrilled with the idea at first - at one point my mother told me that I "better not be bringing any lil' white girls home" - but they eventually came to realize that my brother and I didn't have any other options.

Long story short (and yes, this would be an extremely long story if I took you along every step of my thought process), I don't have a problem dating outside of my race. I believe love is blind. All things considered, I hope that my future wife is a Black woman, but I'm more concerned with finding someone who loves me for me, who treats me with respect, who loves the Steelers, etc. My brother is getting married this summer, and his fiancee is white, and I can't imagine a couple more perfect for each other.

Anyway, I wound my way through the conversation, and was very happy that my castmate was willing to listen to my point of view - she didn't jump down my throat, or make fun of me, or anything else. I mean, she still wants me to date Black women (and may help me make a connection in the future), but she respects where I'm coming from. So we're cool.

Lots more to write about, but I can't shoot my wad all at once.

Saturday, January 28, 2006


I miss him. I can't wait to see this (in fact, I'm really pissed that I wasn't in NYC at the time to see it live). And I can't wait to see what he does next.

Real post t'm'row, I promise.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

the reformation

Update: the kid is a little bit less annoying. He's staying on topic, and I've found a great way to combat his ramblings. I just pretend that I'm totally engrossed in whatever I'm doing. He usually keeps spouting whatever he's saying, changing topics every couple of minutes, but he rarely tries to engage me. And, when he does, he's starting to be a bit more respectful, too. So maybe there's hope yet.

Last night we had an opening party, and I was sitting down talking to someone who works on the show when this little girl ran up to me and gave me a big hug. Turns out that she was the kid's little sister! And she is as nice as he is annoying. (I also think she thinks I'm cute, which, of course, is always going to win someone bonus points with me...guess that's because I didn't hear that enough as a kid, but that's another story for another time.) And then Mom came up and introduced herself, and complimented my performance, and asked me to take a picture with the kids.

So...I'm not going to kill him. Yet. Thanks to his family. But I'm reserving the right to change my mind...

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I'm ready for my close-up

There are many parts of being an actor that I like: telling stories, travel, free time and an ever-changing schedule (today, for instance, I woke up at noon). However, there is one thing that I will never ever get used to.

Buying make-up.

It just doesn't really make you feel like a man, know what I'm saying? And I'm pretty secure with my sexuality. But any time you're talking about foundation and Makes me want to run out and eat some meat, drink some beer, and have sex with a couple of women. Immediately.

And the sales people don't help, either. I went into MAC, which apparently makes great make-up, and the three ladies and one man behind the counter were all looking at me like, "what the hell is he doing here?" So of course I'm fumbling with my words, and I feel like I have to tell them that I'm an actor so they won't think that I'm a total idiot. Ick.

Anyway, I got my make-up, so now I can do the show and look pretty. Whoopee.

Monday, January 23, 2006

the case of the unreturned phone call's something I don't get.

I met a young lady a few weeks ago - I was shopping for pants and she was the lovely sales associate. She was obviously flirting with me - touching my legs and telling me that my ass looked good in the jeans, etc. So, as I was completing my transaction, I asked for her phone number. She gave it to me.

I called her several days later, asking about her weekend plans. She said that she couldn't hang out this weekend because she had a friend in town, but that I should call her again because she really wanted to hang out. I call five or six days later - get her machine - leave a message and my phone #.

No response.

About a week later I call again, leave a brief message and phone #.

No response.

I'm not really inclined to call again, though I did think she was pretty hot, because I kind of get the hint. What I don't get is...why did she give me her number in the first place? Why not just say, "I have a boyfriend," or, "I don't go out with guys I meet at work." Either would have been perfectly considerate, even if they were lies.

I just get annoyed when people don't communicate with me. And I guess the biggest thing for me is that because I really don't know anyone in Steak City, it's much more important for me to meet cool people than for me to score. You know what I mean? So...even if she had agreed to hang out, it wouldn't have necessarily meant that I would have jumped her bones.

Oh well. At least I have the Steelers. They'll never leave me. ;-)

Where are my pants?

My friend Matt and I say this phrase all the time, but apparently some subway riders in NYC took our directive a bit too literally...check it out.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Here we go, Steelers, here we go...


Thursday, January 19, 2006

you were right...

So...'member back when I said that my cast was boring and normal? Well, dear readers, you were right. Some oddities have popped up - and where I least expected them.

Now, before you get all excited, I have to say that there's only a couple of people in the show with me that have shown dicey-ness so far. There's still a few weeks left, so we do have more time. But there's definitely one prime offender.

The problem is that this offender is about twelve. And he's one of the brattiest kids I've ever met. He has an answer for everything. He uses big words. He's given me acting notes. Let me repeat that last one...


I've been acting longer than he's been alive! And he always has all these crazy suggestions for the director. And the rest of us are looking around like, "Who the hell is this?" He even managed to get into a yes-you-did no-i-didn't discussion once.

If he were 22, I'd slap the shit out of him - and I'm not a violent person. But, obviously, I can't hit a minor. So...what can I do to this kid that will be (a) fun for me and (b) not emotionally or physically scarring for him? Suggestions are welcome...I'll think of a cool prize for the winner...

Tuesday, January 17, 2006


Living in a hotel room and not being called to work leaves me a lot of time to watch television. And, though the experience pales to my old Moxi box in the Sleepy Hamlet, I still find some decent stuff on the boob tube every now and then. For instance, my favorite comic strip in the world, The Boondocks, is now part of the Adult Swim block on Cartoon Network. Pretty funny show - black family living in the 'burbs, trying to adjust. Hmmm...why does this sound so familiar? Anyway, the show is worth checking out, and the strip is absolutely brilliant. Let me know what you think.

I also keep seeing an old classmate of my on the tube. First it was on some MTV show, then a commercial, and tonight it was on Law & Order (along with another woman I acted with several years ago). Amazing. She only went to my school for one semester, and I didn't know her that well, but I never would have expected her to become an actor. Of course, I never thought that I'd be doing this for a living, either.

That's it for now. My one-year blogging anniversary is approaching...I'll have to do something special...suggestions are welcome...

Monday, January 16, 2006

King Day

Today at Fish & Greens we're celebrating the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. If you're fortunate to have the day off from work (I do, but I always have Mondays off), take some time to reflect on WHY.

When I was a kid, Dr. King was my ultimate hero. I felt so personally connected to who he was and what he did. I knew the stories of the '50s and '60s well, and had heard many stories from my parents and extended family. (My mother, who grew up in Virginia, recalls drinking out of "colored" water fountains as a little girl, which, to this day, still blows my mind.) Growing up in the lily-white suburbs, I knew that his work was the reason why I had the opportunities I did. And I always felt that, as the only black kid in the school, I needed to promote and defend his work.

One year, in elementary school (think it was 3rd or 4th grade), I realized (on January 14) that there probably wasn't going to be anything done by my teacher to celebrate MLK's b-day the next day. So I volunteered to write a paper and present it to the class. The teacher was very excited by my request and agreed. Of course, then I had to go home and actually WRITE the paper, and I ended up exasperating my parents by procrastinating and staying up all night. At one point I remember being really pissed off that I had agreed to do this - here I was, busting my tail for no extra credit, and why was I doing this?

I felt really good the next day, however, when I read my little paper to the class. It couldn't have been more than a page, but I think that people actually listened to me, and hopefully they got something out of it. And, more importantly, I got something out of it. It was one of the few times in elementary school that I was truly proud of who and what I was.

So, to quote the title of a book popular during my youth: "Thank You, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.!"

Sunday, January 15, 2006


Steelers 21, Colts 18.

My nerves are shot.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

new computer, please

Up late with the computer again, this time trying to back up some files and clear some space from my almost-filled hard drive. (Warning: slight techno-speak here.) I've got a partitioned hard drive, and of course I've got a sizable amount of space on the secondary one, but no space on the main one, and I don't know how to put them together. Any ideas?

I really just want to buy a new computer, but all this new technology is coming out in the next six months, and I think I should just wait, because the last thing I'll want is an outdated computer. If this crashes again in the next six months, though, I'm just gonna bite the bullet.

I have other stuff to post about, but I'll save it for t'm'row...need to get my rest for the game...I mean, work. GO STEELERS!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

"I'm so mad I could just spit"

Up late and pissed because the DVD player on my computer isn't worth shite. It keeps stopping and starting, and there's no way I can watch a movie through that.

(The title is a phrase my mom uses when she's upset.)

I've been planning to buy a new laptop sooner rather than later, and I was going to make the switch to Apple, but now they've introduced these new faster computers, and I don't want to buy old & busted and miss out on the new hotness. What's a boy to do?

Guess I'm just going to go to bed with my movie jones unsatisfied. Looks like I wasted $13 - you're welcome, Hollywood Video.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

If you ever played Nintendo as a kid...'ll appreciate this hilarious re-creation of Mike Tyson's Punch Out!!! Great game, and great video - can't believe they got people to play the music!


I have to mention that I absolutely hate rock salt. I don't know if it's because it makes the road white, or how it feels underfoot, or what. It makes me feel icky.

I believe that The Rover's itinerary for 2006 is set. It's all subject to change, of course, based on potential jobs or vacations or defaulting on my student loans, but this looks like the general picture.

Jan - mid Feb: Steak City. You already knew that.

mid Feb - mid Apr: Cowtown, on the West Coast. Doing more Shakespeare. Good times.

late Apr: a triumphant return to Sleepy Hamlet - see the old peeps and show my old bosses that I'm actually feeding myself by working.

May - July: New York Fuckin' City. Home sweet home. I'd love to housesit for someone, if possible. (I can tell you that I'm going to NYC because 8 million people live there - much less of a chance of someone putting two and two together...of course, now that I've said that...)

early Aug: Sleepy Hamlet. Doing some work for the kids. I'm all about the kids.

mid Aug - mid Oct: Going to a West Coast city to do the same Great American Play I'm doing in Steak City - only this time, I'm playing a much bigger part. Think I'm going to call this locale "The Strip", because both times I've been there I've thought, "This town is one big dirty strip mall!" Survival there will be fun.

mid Oct - Dec: LA. Gotta go live the dream, right? Besides, I can't take winter anymore. Looking for housesitters here, too.

Wow, looking at this list, it just hit me: I really am homeless!

I'm really hoping that I'll be able to take some type of exotic vacation sometime in the summer. Any suggestions? I could even come visit some of my blogger pals...

Dating part 2

Thanks for the thoughts/comments on my previous post on this topic. I promised an explanation...

What complicates matters is the situation surrounding my previous relationship. I met her away from my home base and dated her long-distance for 2 years. We had a couple of chunks of time together during that timespan (three months being the longest), but otherwise it was long weekends and week-long vacations.

After two years she moved to Sleepy Hamlet (where I had started working) and we moved in together. Four months after she got there she was telling me she wasn't sure that she wanted to do this anymore. We took a break, and eventually broke up, which began an off-again on-again cycle that, truthfully, continues to this day. reluctance to commit to a relationship is also linked to this. I was in a long-distance relationship, and when we finally got together, things blew up in my face. I'm smart enough to know that every relationship is different, but I don't want to end up in that situation again. I'd rather establish a strong foundation to the relationship and then test it on the road. I'm just not sure that two months is enough to create that.

With all that said, I'm having a great time being single. I really like not having to answer to anyone but myself. If I feel like going out with some girl I just met on the internet, I'll do it. If I want to sit in my hotel room and watch bad movies for six nights straight, I will. I've spent most of my adult life in relationships, so this past year has been a lot of fun for me, and I think that this year will be even better.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I made a new friend!

(Full disclosure...I'm blogging after having a few drinks, so I may be a little looser than normal...)

Very exciting... I must admit that I've been going through a down phase nice as all of the people in the cast are, I just haven't really clicked with anybody, and I've really just wanted to go and hang out with some cool people, get a couple of drinks, talk about whatever Gen Yers talk about, etc.

And tonight, thanks to MySpace, I did just that. Met a very cool girl and some of her friends - spent two and a half hours just hanging out. She told me that I "passed the test", and said that she'd call this weekend with more activities. So now I finally have someone to hang out with in Steak City!

I can't let this go without commenting...I really have a crush on this girl. She's really really cool, and totally gorgeous. But she kept mentioning other guys she had crushes on. Now, I know that she was telling one of these stories because she hadn't seen her friend in a while. But I was totally getting mixed signals all night. I'm not looking for a life partner here - I'm only in town for six more weeks - but I wouldn't mind making out with her. Suggestions on how to proceed, or should I forget the whole thing and just enjoy having non-work friends?

Monday, January 09, 2006

Why I'm Going to Hell

Dating Part 2 will come t'm'row. But first, an aside.

So...I've been trading stories with a friend of mine lately, and I told one that was so good, she thought I should share it with the world. Maybe this could be my opportunity to start a meme - people are always on the receiving end of them, but I never see any of them start. You could tell your best fish out of water story, or a gaff from childhood that would get you into real trouble as an adult; or, better yet, answer this question: are you going to heaven, or hell, and why? (Though that seems a bit serious.)

Anyway, the story:

When I was about 8 or 9, I pretty much lived at the house of my best friend Bill. He and I went to different elementary schools, but we always hung out together, usually playing a lot of sports, which he always seemed to win - he's one of those annoying good-at-everything types. He was also one of those advanced kids - teaching you new things about sex (which half of the time were wrong) or new bad words. (This was probably because he had two older sisters, one of whom frequently had boyfriends around the house who thought we were the coolest.) And his family always introduced us to new hip things - their instincts are uncanny. Now the term "Dr." is in front of his name, and he's got a beautiful wife and a beautiful house, and he looks like Tom Cruise.

Anyways, we frequently had sleepovers, usually at his house. One Saturday night our parents decided that I would stay over at Bill's and then we would go to a baseball game the next day. Being a huge baseball fan at the time, I jumped at the chance.

One sticking point: the day of the game was Sunday, and Bill's family was Catholic. No problem - I would just go to church with his family, we'd change in the van, and then we'd go to the game. Simple, right? One problem...I had never been to Catholic Mass before.

We get to the church, and Bill is trying his best to tell me what everything is. We passed a little basin of water on the wall and Bill dipped his fingers in and crossed himself. I just kind of looked. Bill told me it was something that I had to do. I found time later to sneak back and do it.

We sat in the back of the church for the mass, inexplicably away from his parents. Bill told me when to kneel on the...kneeler, when to pray, what to sing, etc. I remember feeling totally lost the whole time. But I did my best to keep up. All of a sudden people were getting in line while singing. Bill got up too, and pulled me up, saying, "I'm going to go get some of the wine. It's really good!"

I was horrified. Bill was talking about ALCOHOL! ALCOHOL was for grown-ups, not kids like me and him! What was he doing? Nevertheless, since he's got one of those compelling, leadership-type personalities, I got up and followed him in line. I was really nervous...I didn't know what to expect.

As I got closer to the front, I noticed that the priest at the front of the line didn't have a cup; rather, he was giving people what looked like little white cards. (I remember feeling relieved at this, since I wasn't going to have any ALCOHOL.) And the men and women who received those cards bowed their heads, and then as they walked away they placed them in their mouths - actually, I thought, under their tongues. My family had stopped going to church regularly a couple of years before, but I never remembered seeing anything like this before. Of course, when I got older, I realized that the line I was in was to receive Communion - the wafer representing the body of Christ, and the wine His blood. At the time, however, I was a little nervous about putting something so cardboard-like in my mouth. I knew that white people did things differently than us black folk, but this was a little ridiculous. The simple thing to do, of course, would have been to get out of the line and go back to my pew. But I already felt out of place, and I didn't want to do anything to call attention to myself. So I stayed on, continuing my march forward.

As I reached the front of the line, the priest smiled at me, as adults do towards children, you know, to make them feel important, and handed me the wafer. I have no idea what was going through his mind at the time. Because I didn't want to be rude, I took it, and as I walked away I pushed the wafer towards my mouth as if I was going to put it in. But, being a clever little boy, I managed to palm the wafer and put it in my pocket!

By the way, in case you didn't know, you can't receive Communion in a Catholic church without having been confirmed by the Church. I'm not 100% sure, but I think it's a pretty big sin. And what happened next was an even bigger sin. I sat through the rest of the service, and then, as we walked back out to the van, I decided (much like with the basin of water) that I should at least try and do something. I put the tiniest bit of wafer into my mouth. My suspicions were confirmed - it tasted like nothing, or white bread. I couldn't leave the thing in my pocket, and my hand was getting sweaty from carrying it. So I did what any 8 or 9 year old would do...I left it on the ground in the parking lot.

Yes, that is correct: I threw away the body of Christ.

I'm hoping that, when I get to the gates of Heaven, the Lord will cut me a break for that one.


Steelers won yesterday, 31-17. Amazing how their wins and losses can affect my mood. Anyway, give it up for the Black & Gold...

Thanks for the people who commented on the dating post, both here and to my inbox. The next post will answer some of your questions...

Wednesday, January 04, 2006


Hard to post when you have company in town. But now my company has left :-( so I'm back.

It's always hard for me to write in this blog because I want to remain anonymous, to some extent. This is primarily for two reasons: one, there are a couple of people in the world with whom I do not wish to share my innermost thoughts and feelings; two, it's easy enough to find my real name and picture on the internet, and since the business I'm in is all about image, I don't want to match something up with my name that isn't going to help me get to where I need to go.

That being said, I think I need to stop self-censoring myself here, especially concerning my dating life. The commentors on here that I know in real life probably know all about which girl or girls I'm talking to at any given time, and they're not going to make things any more complicated for me. (Right, guys? Thanks.) And, since dating has been such a big factor/stressor in my life over the past year, I should be writing about it. So, without further ado...

I'm in a situation where, for at least the next year, if not for the forseeable future, I'm going to be living in different cities every couple of months. Several years ago I decided that if I was ever going to be in a position where I was going to be a working actor who could support a family, I was going to have to spend several years on the road developing my career and making contacts. That way, when I decided to settle down in one spot, I would be able to use my contacts to find work, and hopefully I could spend three months on the road a year instead of nine. I could also have a stable home life and a steady stream of income (if that's possible). Then I could buy a house, have kids, etc.

At the time, I was dating a woman who I was convinced was on board with my plan. We discussed marriage, planned our future; I knew, with every fiber of my being, that she was going to be Mrs. Rover. That's no longer the case; in fact, distance was a major factor in the ending of our relationship. And so now I've entered the dating world, which is loads of fun, but I now realize that I'm just not in any one place long enough to develop a relationship with anyone. Six to eight weeks really isn't any kind of basis to start a long-distance relationship, is it? Especially when you don't know where you're going to be in six to eight months.

So now I'm in this relationship purgatory, where I meet wonderful women, where sparks fly and the chemistry is palpable, but where's there's just not enough time to really get into things. As a result, I have all of these half-finished relationships, some more serious than others, but all of them essentially unfulfilling. What's a boy to do?

I'll be providing more information on this topic when I can form my thoughts a bit better, but for now I'd love to hear some reaction to this...

Sunday, January 01, 2006


It's been a busy weekend - I have a visitor in town - so I don't have a whole lot of time, but I wanted to make sure to wish all of you and yours a healthy and happy New Year.

I'm not really one for New Year's resolutions, but I went to a Solstice Party a couple of weeks ago, and I'll share with you my list of "things I want to usher into my life" in 2006:

- truth with tact (but err with the truth)
- a passionate loving relationship with the gym
- the confidence of being a working Equity actor
- maintaining/introducing positive relationships
- communication - clear and open and honest
- vegetables 4-5 times per week
- the bravery to enter new places and situations with grace and openness
- health insurance!
- acting work that I am excited about.

Happy New Year, people. I gotta go...there may be a hot chick on my bed...