a li'l spring cleaning

New links up. Check them out. Good stuff. Anything else I should look at?

I'd really like to redesign my site, because I'm pretty bored with it. Any suggestions?

I've done very little this weekend, and it's been perfect. Four weeks to go...

decadence

I tried caviar for the first time last night.

Salty.

Do people really love it enough to eat scoop after scoop? I can't imagine someone digging into that with tortilla chips or anything. I had mine on top of a slice of raw potato, which was much less gross than it sounds.

We had a swanky function at one of my jobs, and one of the companies that was present ended up hiring eight leggy models, who handed out promotional materials all night.

So whose phone number do I end up getting?

The assistant's.

(In my defense, she's really cute.)

i'm back!

Home sweet home, finally.

I had a great trip and, even though I didn't take my computer, I blogged during the whole thing. If scribbling entries into a legal notebook counts as blogging...

Anyway, I posted everything below according to the dates they were written. So you can scroll down and work your way back up, or, if you're superlazy, you can click on the links below.

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V

vacation diary pt. V

It's the end of my trip.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I'm on the LIRR. Picked this over taking the subway - it's cleaner, it's faster, and it's much more comfortable. Totally worth the extra $3 I spent.

Plane flight back was ok. Kind of bumpy, and our TVs in our row went out halfway through the flight (so I missed Pardon The Interruption, which did not make me a happy camper), and I was seated next to another chatter (what is it about me?), so it could have been better. The chatter forced me to keep my headphones on at all times, even when I was reading, or sleeping.

I just want to be left alone. Is that too much to ask? Or have a hot seatmate. Instead, I always get kids, or hippies, or new moms with their agitated babies who latch onto me, or old folks...go figure.

Once, when I was flying to Sleepy Hamlet, I ended up having to sit next to a woman who literally spilled into the seats on either side of her. I spent the entire flight leaning into the aisle. The worst part was that the woman on the other side of her had accidentally sat in the wrong seat, leading to the following awkward exchange when the actual person showed up:

STANDING WOMAN: Um, I think you're in my seat.

SQUISHED WOMAN: Oh, really?

STANDING WOMAN: Um, yeah. But you can just stay there, if you want.

SQUISHED WOMAN: No, it's your seat, I should move.

STANDING WOMAN: Um, well, I don't want to make you get up. But it's up to you...

SQUISHED WOMAN: (after a brief pause) I'll move.

Good times.


I really have to pee.



So I had a great time in LA. Every time I visit I debate whether or not I should move there. (You surely remember this epic debate. Or this one. Or this.)

Of course, the question is not "if", but "when".

Anyway, it was great to see all of my friends. And I had a really good time with Li'l Bit. I've come to the conclusion that I really never gave the relationship a fair shake. There are a couple of things she does that drive me frickin' crazy (you don't always have to compare what someone else is doing to what you're doing!), but I have so much fun with her, and I can completely be my stupid, silly, dirty, zany, horny self around her. And she likes it.

But now, it's back to my real life. And that's always the strangest part about returning from vacation - going back to normal. Of course, in my case, normal is only five weeks, before heading off to Rockport...

Hope that you liked these...

vacation diary pt. IV

At a Starbucks on Santa Monica Blvd - I actually wrote from this very store when I was here almost exactly one year ago - killing some time. LA is cool. I really really like it. I wish it wasn't so far away from home, though.

And I'm being treated to a real LA moment, too - the two guys next to me are talking movies - real industry stuff. Maybe I should slip them a headshot...

I'm killing time because Li'l Bit is at the gym - she's working on becoming a trainer. Every time I see her, I am reminded that she's (a) very cute and (b) very nice. I wonder if I would give it a real shot if I were here? I have this conversation with myself at least once a month. I guess that, for some reason, I can't let go. I think that distance has a lot to do with that. After my history with Maxine, I am honestly scared to make a big move for a woman.

Maybe I should see how the next three days go first, before making any grand pronouncements.

In other news, I am an idiot.

(Insert your favorite joke about me here.)

I left my noise-reducing headphones and my iPod on the plane.

I realized this when I got to Li'l Bit's place. I opened up my bag to select some reading material and voila! She was very calm - made me call the airline post-haste. And the plane people were very kind - turns out that they had the stuff. And thank God...that was like $500 worth of electronics there. So we're going to go back to the airport after her training session. If I had lost that stuff, I would have been so upset. I mean, I know that it's just stuff, but it's the money that I spent behind it...all that work... I just hate working so hard for something and then - poof! - it's gone, due to my stupidity.

On that tip, I've noticed lately that I'm a real miser. I'm reluctant to spend money on anything. I've always been somewhat cautious with my money, but it's been worse the past couple of months.

This period of tight-fistedness has also coincided with my orgy of employment. For the first time in a long time, I'm making plenty of money. There have only been two or three other times in my life where I've felt financially secure. For example, before I left for this trip, I paid all of my bills for the month. It felt great.

I guess I'm just afraid that I'm going to wake up one morning and have nothing. I hate being broke.

I know it's an irrational fear. I've got employment for the next four months, and, if things break right - keep your fingers crossed - I could be working straight through next February.

I'm just trying to be smart, and sane, about my finances. I'm taking baby steps. I've enrolled in the Keep The Change program at Bank of America. I'm trying to mass a large sum of money, then take off a chunk and pay off a credit card. And then repeat. And I'm also setting aside money for my 2007 taxes, since I paid lots of state tax last year.

I just feel like I have to be a grown-up about my finances. If not now, when?

Off to write in my journal.

vacation diary pt. III

I just stood in the longest airport checkpoint line ever. Despite the length, it moved quickly and efficiently, and I think I was in it for about 30 minutes. Security was yelling out instructions, people were trading plastic bags...amazing.

Why don't more airports sell plastic bags? Actually, come to think of it, why don't more people plan ahead? These new liquid travel rules have been in place since August...if you're going to get all mad about it now, you're just an idiot for not knowing the rules.

Anyway, I survived the line and am now standing at my gate about a half hour before my flight. Compared to the organized chaos before security, it's quiet back here.

Off to LA!

vacation diary pt. II

I had a vivid dream last night about interviewing Billy Joel. I was totally unprepared. There were a lot of things that I was forgetting to do, and I spent several minutes trying to figure out the tape recorder function on my cell phone. It was like my recurring "bad actor" dream, except for writing. That just totally popped into my head.

In Cowtown news (where I am right now), I'm having a blast with Suri. I came here to see a show she's doing, and it was amazing - very exciting to see.

I also spent some quality time with Jr. Miss - remember her? Total weirdness. Don't know if I mentioned this earlier, but she came to New York a couple of weeks ago, and we had a...dalliance...and it was a great time, totally good. But now...it's back to the games. Anyway, I shouldn't be surprised.

Kind of nice to be back in Cowtown. I like the place, and I miss it a little bit. But most of the people I hung out with here (including Suri) are leaving.

Off to LA, and Li'l Bit, t'm'row. Update soon...

vacation diary pt. I

I'm delayed at JFK. We're waiting for our plane to land, which will happen in about 15 minutes. They made an announcement about this, and yet there is a line of people in front of me, inexplicably waiting to board the plane. Why? LISTEN, people!

(sigh)


- So why do strangers feel the need to strike up conversations with me? It's like they're drawn in, somehow. I do everything I can to avoid these random conversations: I check my cell phone, try to look mean, etc. Doesn't work.

I'm currently dealing with two of these right now, one on either side. On the left is a hen-pecked older black man, whose wife keeps ordering him to check the status of the plane. On my right is a plump white woman who keeps asking random questions.

(Both of them are on their cell phones right now - the man said, "Hello?" about three times.)

So why do the crazies always find me? Do I have a welcoming scent? Do I look friendly? I just don't get it. And it's never hot chicks that talk to me, either...very frustrating.


- I've decided that I'm going to write these entries note-style, and then transcribe them onto my blog later. It feels like cheating, but, really, who gives a fuck?

(Actually, I do.)

Writing these down on paper is actually a positive thing. I'm writing because I didn't bring my trusty laptop, Clementine, with me. I always travel with my laptop. I feel a bit naked without it, but I must admit that my shoulders feel better. I just figured that since I spend all day at jobs #1&2 in front of a computer - why did I need to haul mine around the country with me?


- I'm upset about the prices here at the airport. Earlier, I heard a lady complaining about $12 sandwiches. I ended up paying $11.26 for a 18" sandwich and a bottle of water. (Hey, the H2O came from the clouds - that's gotta be worth something extra, right?)


- There's a small dog in front of me wearing a striped sweater. It's really cute, but I'm currently praying that it's not going to be my seatmate!

Actually, I'll be fairly forgiving, because I managed to snag an emergency exit row seat. YES! It pays to book your ticket weeks ahead of time.


All right, enough "blogging" for now. Going to try and sketch out an article for the website I write for...more later...

vay-cay

Off for a little fresh air and sunshine.

Fresh air first, courtesy of Cowtown - going to visit Suri for a bit, which should be good times. Apparently the locals are driving her crazy, and she can't wait to leave.

Sunshine is second, as I fly from there to LA, and hang with the peeps. I'm staying with Li'l Bit (nee GISS), which should also be good times.

I come back to the BK on Tuesday night. I'll try to post an update or two while I'm gone. Any requests for souvenirs? Someone has already asked me for the ocean, so that's taken...

VT

Thoughts and prayers go out to the Virginia Tech community, especially those who were in the building earlier today. I was monitoring the situation at work today, and was horrified as I watched the death toll climb and climb. What a horrific act.

"and five more to me..."

More questions! This from L. Britt.

Ask me more! I like answering them. And I'll put all future answers on this post, so check back.


1. What's the longest you've been single? I mean truly single...not having drama with an ex, not in an ambiguious friendship, not in a f*ck buddy scenario, not in relationship that you can't define...just single?

Um...I'm a little embarrassed at the answer to this question...since I started college, I guess it's probably no longer than two or three months, honestly. I always seem to have somebody around that's more than a friend, even if it's not physical. I rarely have "friendships with benefits" or fuckbuddies, though.

2. Did you expect to be where you are in your career at this point in your life?

Not by a longshot. I never thought I'd be doing this much classical theater. And, even though I'm confident in my abilities (despite my post below), I'm always surprised when I get cast in something. I do think a part of me thought I might be farther along, but most of me is just surprised.

3. Does the big news have to do with work or personal life?

The news is below, but it's work-related. Although there could be personal ramifications...

4. Who did you not get with in grad school that you wish you did?

A difficult question to answer without names! I did make out with several, and I wanted to make out with...well, most of the ladies. But I would say that the Indian girl is #1 with a bullet.

5. What made you change your mind about your attitude toward your credit card debt?

My awareness first started back in 2003, when I first started working in the Sleepy Hamlet and made a weekly and monthly budget for the first time. I've had problems with credit cards since college - because I didn't fully understand the fact that I would have to pay them off someday - and I always seem to get things into a manageable position before things get back again.

After returning from my latest trip to Cowtown, I survived off unemployment for two months, which wasn't enough, so I had to use my credit card. After I got my three jobs, I was able to take stock of my financial picture - and it's not pretty. And I decided that I didn't want to get any deeper in debt, because doing so would really affect my future ability to have a family. I've got to get that under control before I ask someone to make a commitment to me, let alone have kids.

analysis

I'm sitting in my apartment. I just got back from an audition (and there was no point in going back to job #2).

I have that "i'm a crappy human being because my audition sucked and i can't act" feeling. It happens at least once a month.

But, rather than dwelling on the negativity, I'm going to break down why I didn't feel like this was my best audition, and take a look at the factors that contributed to this malaise. More productive than giving myself a beatdown, right?

1. I'M TIRED

Last night I didn't have to work at job #3, so you would assume that I would have gotten seven or eight hours of sleep.

You would be wrong.

I had a lot of stuff to get done, and I wanted to cut my hair, and then GISS (who I'm going to start calling Li'l Bit, per her request...even though she doesn't read this blog) sent me a text message, so we ended up chatting on the computer for an hour and a half, and before I knew it, it was almost three. And I had to work at eight.

Maybe that explains why I had no energy on stage.

2. THE CASTING DIRECTOR WAS DISORGANIZED

I showed up about 15 minutes before my audition, as is my custom. I sat outside of the room, and the CD (who was serving as the monitor, introducing everybody to the auditors) came out and got my name.

Then, when he came out to bring the next person in, he asked for my name again. When I told him, he told me that I was way early.

When he came out the next time, he told me that I wasn't on the list at all, and he didn't have any information on me. Fortunately, the person I was auditioning for had seen me before, and recognized my headshot when the CD brought it in. But it's kind of disconcerting, when you've prepped for several hours for an audition, and they tell you it's not going to happen.

Which leads me to...

3. I DIDN'T PREP WELL ENOUGH

Maybe the first two things wouldn't have bothered me if I had spent more time with the material. I spent about an hour on the three sides I received, plus a couple of hours reading the play and some additional time doing research.

I don't like spending too much more time that that because I want to "keep it fresh", but it would probably help in situations like this.


Of course, it's an audition. I'll never know why I didn't (or did) get a callback. And, in a few hours, I won't care. I'll move on to the next one. That's what I do. That's my job.

Still...this feeling sucks.

drumroll please

The news I've been withholding?

I got a gig.

The role is great! Too bad I can't tell you about it...I'd out myself for sure.

12 weeks, late May to mid-August. I'm still trying to formulate a catchy name for the place I'm going - I'll let you know as soon as I come up with it.

I actually auditioned for this back in December, and was sure that I was going to get this. But then I went back to New York and I got lost in the casting shuffle. The artistic director (who is a friend of mine) assured me that that wouldn't happen next year.

And then - poof! - someone dropped out, and there was an opening.

I did some auditions about ten days ago, and then the AD was on vacation, and during that time I got an offer to do my all-time favorite play somewhere in the wilds of the North Atlantic. They called me on a Thursday and wanted me to start on Tuesday (today), and the pay was crap, and I wasn't going to get any health insurance weeks.

We went back and forth Thursday night, and Friday morning I talked to their head honcho, who said she was going to try and scrape together some more money and would call me back soon. She didn't.

Meanwhile, the first AD dropped me a note, telling me to keep him posted on any other offers I had. I told him about the North Atlantic situation. An hour later we were on the phone, and he was telling me that they still had one more person to see, but that, as of that moment, I was the choice.

It became official earlier this afternoon.

So, I only have to work three jobs for six more weeks...then, back to the boards.

I can't wait.

...and Five More Questions

These from tuckergurl:

1. What does "settling down" mean to you?

The end of life itself.

Just kidding...

It means that I'd rather come home to one person than go out to party with hundreds.

2. Have you ever hooked up (even kissed) a guy?

I've had to kiss several guys on stage, but never "for real". I admit that, before the first time, I was curious - would I like it? would it change me? - but as soon as it happened, I was like, "Yeah, I'm TOTALLY straight." Guys are too rough, and the whole facial hair thing? Yuck. I honestly don't know how women do it.

3. Which actor has the career you want?

Good question - too bad my brain is fried and I'm worthless right now. I'm kind of envious of the way that Liev Schrieber flips back and forth from stage to screen, so I'll say him.

4. If you could live in a city outside of the US, what would it be?

I've only been to Canada and England, so my choices aren't particularly well-informed. I'd probably say Paris, although Oslo or Tokyo or Sao Paolo or Vancouver would be cool, too.

5. What actor do you think is just overrated?

I really don't like Nic Cage, but he was great in Leaving Las Vegas. I think I might have to pick Kirsten Dunst - I went back and watched Bring It On the other day (which I watched because, as I explained to my roommate, I am in love with Eliza Dushku and Gabrielle Union) and was sorely disappointed in Kiki's performance. I remembered it being a lot better.

That's kind of a wimpy answer, I know, but I'm so tired. I plead sleep deprivation.

Five More Questions

...from the Hot Librarian...

1. What was the turning point that made you decide to pursue acting as a career?

That's an excellent question. There was a point in my college career where I knew that politics wasn't for me, and I was kind of at a loss for what to do next. My girlfriend at the time had been bugging me to try and go to grad school, so the thought was in my head.

I guess the moment where I knew it was going to happen was after my dad (who was unemployed) set me up with one of his headhunters for some job in one of the Carolinas. And the headhunter was going over all of the academic requirements and I just kept thinking, "That's not me." I hadn't been accepted to grad school at that time, and fairly soon after that phone call, I decided that if I didn't get in anywhere, I was going to move in with my little brother in NY and give the acting thing a real shot.

Fortunately, I didn't have to do that.


2. What was your favorite college experience? (It's a good question, so I'm stealing it)

Oooooh, HL, that hurts. Stealing my own question!

There were a few. In no particular order:

- sitting around watching the will-they-or-won't-they of Ross and Rachel on Friends (so sad, i know)

- playing flag football with the guys

- my surprise 20th birthday party

- hanging out with the Hot Librarian and my girlfriend and my roommate - always good times

- finishing my last paper

- making out on the beach during post-exams sophomore year - that week was incredible

I think that's enough.


3. If you had the opportunity to run for public office -- and you had a good chance of winning -- would you go for it?

Only if I were in a position to really affect change. I don't think that I'd ever want to be President - but if I thought I could really fix things, I do it. But on a local level - sure, I could see myself doing that someday. (After I permanently erased my blog!)


4. Do you want to settle down with one person, and if so, do you think you've already met her?

I've been thinking about this question since I got it. I definitely want to settle down with one person, but lately I've been thinking about becoming George Clooney. I mean, he's got a great life, right? And he seems pretty happy.

The thing is, I'm a person who needs space - at least 20 minutes a day to totally do my own thing. That tends to get on the nerves of most of my exes.

As far as people...I really have NO idea who it could be. I think that, if she ditches the ex, and some of my job/her school plans work out, I could have a future with the Power Broker. And maybe the GISS would have an outside shot. Other than those two, I really don't have a clue who it could be. Do you? I'd love some suggestions...


5. What is your acting-related dream job?

I've always said that I have three: doing Shakespeare in Central Park, having a leading/featured role in a major motion picture, and...working at the theater company in Sleepy Hamlet. So far I'm 1 for 3.


Any more questions for me?

big news coming soon!

I'm at home with the fam, for Easter. I've been wanting to write for a few days now, but I've got to wait until it's 100% before talking about it. Even here, anonymously.

So...I'll write when I can.

Your Mom was kind enough to send me some interview questions, which I'll put up a little later.

Right now, I have to go see if Maxine is still sulking in my room. She got pissed when I told her the reason why I don't wear the scarf she made me a couple of years ago is because it's a woman's scarf. (You know, like men's shirts button on one side and women's the other...well, straight men generally don't wear skinny scarfs. Right? If I'm wrong, please tell that to the half-dozen people who made fun of me for wearing a girl's scarf.)

(sigh)

More later.

busy but good

That's my life right now.

Had a series of auditions down south, fairly close to the Power Broker's neck of the woods. I'll keep you posted on those.

April is going to be a very busy month, I think. Besides my ninety-four jobs, I'm travelling three out of the next four weekends. First up is a trip home for Easter. I'm going with my brother...and Maxine, who has never been to the 'burgh. Should be good times. I think.

Off to get some sleep. 7 hours! That's a lot...