Saturday, April 21, 2007

vacation diary pt. IV

At a Starbucks on Santa Monica Blvd - I actually wrote from this very store when I was here almost exactly one year ago - killing some time. LA is cool. I really really like it. I wish it wasn't so far away from home, though.

And I'm being treated to a real LA moment, too - the two guys next to me are talking movies - real industry stuff. Maybe I should slip them a headshot...

I'm killing time because Li'l Bit is at the gym - she's working on becoming a trainer. Every time I see her, I am reminded that she's (a) very cute and (b) very nice. I wonder if I would give it a real shot if I were here? I have this conversation with myself at least once a month. I guess that, for some reason, I can't let go. I think that distance has a lot to do with that. After my history with Maxine, I am honestly scared to make a big move for a woman.

Maybe I should see how the next three days go first, before making any grand pronouncements.

In other news, I am an idiot.

(Insert your favorite joke about me here.)

I left my noise-reducing headphones and my iPod on the plane.

I realized this when I got to Li'l Bit's place. I opened up my bag to select some reading material and voila! She was very calm - made me call the airline post-haste. And the plane people were very kind - turns out that they had the stuff. And thank God...that was like $500 worth of electronics there. So we're going to go back to the airport after her training session. If I had lost that stuff, I would have been so upset. I mean, I know that it's just stuff, but it's the money that I spent behind it...all that work... I just hate working so hard for something and then - poof! - it's gone, due to my stupidity.

On that tip, I've noticed lately that I'm a real miser. I'm reluctant to spend money on anything. I've always been somewhat cautious with my money, but it's been worse the past couple of months.

This period of tight-fistedness has also coincided with my orgy of employment. For the first time in a long time, I'm making plenty of money. There have only been two or three other times in my life where I've felt financially secure. For example, before I left for this trip, I paid all of my bills for the month. It felt great.

I guess I'm just afraid that I'm going to wake up one morning and have nothing. I hate being broke.

I know it's an irrational fear. I've got employment for the next four months, and, if things break right - keep your fingers crossed - I could be working straight through next February.

I'm just trying to be smart, and sane, about my finances. I'm taking baby steps. I've enrolled in the Keep The Change program at Bank of America. I'm trying to mass a large sum of money, then take off a chunk and pay off a credit card. And then repeat. And I'm also setting aside money for my 2007 taxes, since I paid lots of state tax last year.

I just feel like I have to be a grown-up about my finances. If not now, when?

Off to write in my journal.

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