I'm sitting in my apartment. I just got back from an audition (and there was no point in going back to job #2).
I have that "i'm a crappy human being because my audition sucked and i can't act" feeling. It happens at least once a month.
But, rather than dwelling on the negativity, I'm going to break down why I didn't feel like this was my best audition, and take a look at the factors that contributed to this malaise. More productive than giving myself a beatdown, right?
1. I'M TIRED
Last night I didn't have to work at job #3, so you would assume that I would have gotten seven or eight hours of sleep.
You would be wrong.
I had a lot of stuff to get done, and I wanted to cut my hair, and then GISS (who I'm going to start calling Li'l Bit, per her request...even though she doesn't read this blog) sent me a text message, so we ended up chatting on the computer for an hour and a half, and before I knew it, it was almost three. And I had to work at eight.
Maybe that explains why I had no energy on stage.
2. THE CASTING DIRECTOR WAS DISORGANIZED
I showed up about 15 minutes before my audition, as is my custom. I sat outside of the room, and the CD (who was serving as the monitor, introducing everybody to the auditors) came out and got my name.
Then, when he came out to bring the next person in, he asked for my name again. When I told him, he told me that I was way early.
When he came out the next time, he told me that I wasn't on the list at all, and he didn't have any information on me. Fortunately, the person I was auditioning for had seen me before, and recognized my headshot when the CD brought it in. But it's kind of disconcerting, when you've prepped for several hours for an audition, and they tell you it's not going to happen.
Which leads me to...
3. I DIDN'T PREP WELL ENOUGH
Maybe the first two things wouldn't have bothered me if I had spent more time with the material. I spent about an hour on the three sides I received, plus a couple of hours reading the play and some additional time doing research.
I don't like spending too much more time that that because I want to "keep it fresh", but it would probably help in situations like this.
Of course, it's an audition. I'll never know why I didn't (or did) get a callback. And, in a few hours, I won't care. I'll move on to the next one. That's what I do. That's my job.
Still...this feeling sucks.