Wednesday, October 17, 2007

still guilty

I seriously want an answer to this question: when will I stop feeling bad about the Snapple thing?

I spoke to a mutual friend of ours tonight, who told me that I needed to stop talking to her - a decision that I came to on my own four or five days ago, after a particularly uncomfortable conversation. Our friend said something to the effect of, "I know that you liked her, and cared about her, and you're a good guy, so when you talk to her and you say nice things - that's all she hears."

And, in the "irony of ironies" department, she's flying in to Valley City (bound for a job in Rockport) on the very day that I leave (which was why we had the last conversation).

I don't know I guess I feel bad because I do like her, but my actions have made it clear that I don't care about her enough to be a boyfriend. And while it would have been much easier to let her come and visit me, and keep things going, in my heart of hearts I would hate myself, because it all would have been a lie. And, as I learned with Lil' Bit, it's much better to nip things in the bud than to have her go crazy and try to buy plane tickets without consulting with you first.

Anyway, is this normal? Should I be feeling this bad about things three weeks after the fact?

2 comments:

Hot Librarian said...

Honestly? I have no advice. So I just tagged you instead.

Wyn said...

Should you be feeling this bad...?
That's what makes you a nice guy. But you'll move on.

Sometimes, it hurts more when we care about them so openly.

good luck, man. and have a good weekend!