crazy

After an epic night last night, I woke up with a text message on my phone. It was from Lil' Bit (aka GISS) and it said, "Call me if you're up."

So, of course, I didn't. I broke things off with her for good a couple of weeks ago, so I've kind of been trying to keep my distance. (That's a whole 'nother set of posts.) I was supposed to go to breakfast with the girl (who, for now, we'll call Snapple), so I figured that I'd call her afterwards.

But when I checked my e-mail, I had three messages from Lil' Bit.

1st message: Hey. If I can figure out a plane ticket would it be cool for me to come visit ... and stay for a couple days? Let me know.

2nd message (half an hour after the first): was just browsing and I can fly for free on airline miles...let me know if it’s cool to come see you.

3rd message (eight minutes after the second): I took a chance and booked it. I have 3 days to cancel or change without penalty. Livin on the edge.

Um...what?

I told Snapple at breakfast, who was not very happy. I told her that I'd call Lil' Bit after we ate and try to dissuade her from coming. I was really hoping that, after talking to me, and hearing the reluctance in my voice, and hearing that I'm dating someone semi-seriously, that she would just decide not to come.

When I got her on the phone, she was all cheery - "I'm coming to see you!" - and when I asked her what made her decide to do this, she said, "It was a whim. Just a whim!" And that it just made sense, since she could buy the ticket for 5 dollars. She'd be staying for four days.

Not a good sign.

I asked her what she was planning to do on the visit (because I had been pretty clear with her, when I broke things off, that (a) I'm seeing someone else and (b) I don't want any more romantic stuff to happen) and she said that she was "open to anything", but that she really needed to get out of town and from her jobs and random stresses. So then I reminded here that I was seeing Snapple, to which she said, "Yeah, it'll be good for me to see that, 'cause it will be like closure."

You should have seen my face.

So I then asked how she was doing, and she basically said that she's pretty adrift, and doesn't know what she's doing with her life, and feels really lonely at home and keeps running after things that she shouldn't be chasing. (To which I wanted to say, "Why the fuck are you coming out here?" But, alas, I am too nice.)

Then she asked how I was, and I told her that I was working my ass off, but really happy, having a good time with the new girl, etc. I was really playing up the fact that Snapple is from NY, and that this wasn't a fling for me. After that, she got off the phone pretty fast, but still played the whole I'm-so-excited card.

I admit, I was pretty shocked.

I wanted to call her back and just flat out tell her not to come (which was my first instinct). I decided to call one of my best friends. While waiting for her to call me back (she was having some big talk with Maxine, actually - irony of ironies) Lil' Bit sent me a text message saying, "I feel weird. I don't know if I should come."

I responded, "I feel weird about it, too. When do you have to decide?"

"I have three days to make a change."

So I wrote back, "I'll talk to you about it tomorrow," but then I sent a text after that said, "Give me a call when you get a chance," because I don't want this to drag out another day - I'm going to tell her straight up not to come.

And when I talked to my friend, she agreed, and basically said that she was crazy. I think that I had been in shock up until that point - I mean, I really couldn't believe what was happening. But during my conversation with my friend, I started to get angry - who buys a plane ticket and then tells you that they're coming? She had the time to send me three e-mails and a text message - she couldn't pick up the phone and fucking CALL me to ask if it was ok? Or wait a few hours? What the fuck?

Anyway, I probably should just have followed my original instinct (although that would have involved yelling, which I don't like to do - I mean, I have a show tonight and I should save my voice), but like an idiot I decided to try and be nice and check out the situation to see how she was feeling...well, I KNOW how she's feeling.

Crazy.

Anyway, when she calls me (or when I call her), I'm going to tell her that I don't think it's a good idea, and I don't want her to come. Period.

(sigh)

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