Received a call from DC this evening, which surprised me. I left her a message on Sunday, and hadn't heard anything, so my paranoid actor-self took over and wrote her off like a role I wasn't getting.
And then she called.
I tried acting nonchalant as I flipped open my phone, trying to fool...myself, I guess.
It was a good chat. I told her that I wanted to see her again soon and she said, "When were you thinking of doing that? I was thinking of coming up to New York..." She travels a lot for work, but hopefully we're going to make it work - maybe as soon as next weekend.
So that was pretty exciting.
But...
...the far more compelling development took place later this evening, when I hung out with the X. (Who really needs a name at this point: let's call her Maxine, after a song on the new John Legend album that we both love. You need to buy this album immediately. Anyway, I reserve the right to change the name.)
I've had a lot of issues with Maxine over the years, and they seem to have to do with her uptight (for lack of a better word) nature. I've often felt that, if she could just relax and let go, I'd marry her t'm'row.
Well...
She had an experience over the past couple of weeks...and she's like a totally different person. She's extremely positive, and she is smiling and laughing all of the time, and she seems to really have taken control of her life. She's chasing her goals, and she has a real sense of purpose.
She even looks different. She's a very beautiful woman, but this change in attitude has even affected her looks. Maybe it's all the smiling. Even in the darkest of times, I've always been insanely attracted to her, but now...um...WOW! Tonight she was wearing a "wife beater" and jeans, and it took a lot of willpower for me to avoid snatching her up and...you know.
(I won't get into the whole history, but traditionally we've always struggled to NOT have a physical relationship. We say, "Oh, we'll be friends. No extra stuff." And then, five days later, we're in bed together. But, since I've come back, we haven't done anything. Occasionally we'll look at each other and have a mini-moment, but no making out, or attempted moves.)
As happy as I am that she's happy, our sordid past makes me skeptical. I hope that this is a permanent change. But there's no use getting my hopes up, only to have them crushed again. I will say that I will be following this development very closely...it could make life very interesting...
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3 comments:
Listen, Will Robinson, there's danger around that corner. But, you know that already. Bottom line - I'm glad you're having fun with her. It had been awhile since you guys really had fun together. That's a nice change of pace no matter how you slice it.
:)
Maybe Maxine just needs a body paint photo shoot to loosen her attitude. *snort*
Glad you are having fun with her too. And going to say something. Don't take this the wrong way.
If you really want to get a guy back, you smile, you act happy, you are carefree. Then they want that light that shines in your eye. I mean, you have seen French Kiss, right? OR...what seems more possible....
Maybe she is happy because she is moving on from the relationship. I mean, being caught up in feelings, and would if we coulds can wear you down. Maybe she has moved on, and is refreshed for what lies ahead for her. Maybe now she is just really loving you as a FRIEND, and that is what has freed her. Of course that is going to make her attractive to you, but...
If this could possibly be the case....don't be selfish. Let her go.
A body paint shoot would be EXCELLENT. I'm totally in favor.
The happiness is because she's decided to be positive. That's the biggest difference. Positive thinking works wonders.
But you're both right. I'm just trying to enjoy the relationship that I have with her now, rather than concentrating on what was/could be. And right now, things are great. I hope they stay that way.
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