a tale of two women

Received a call from DC this evening, which surprised me. I left her a message on Sunday, and hadn't heard anything, so my paranoid actor-self took over and wrote her off like a role I wasn't getting.

And then she called.

I tried acting nonchalant as I flipped open my phone, trying to fool...myself, I guess.

It was a good chat. I told her that I wanted to see her again soon and she said, "When were you thinking of doing that? I was thinking of coming up to New York..." She travels a lot for work, but hopefully we're going to make it work - maybe as soon as next weekend.

So that was pretty exciting.

But...

...the far more compelling development took place later this evening, when I hung out with the X. (Who really needs a name at this point: let's call her Maxine, after a song on the new John Legend album that we both love. You need to buy this album immediately. Anyway, I reserve the right to change the name.)

I've had a lot of issues with Maxine over the years, and they seem to have to do with her uptight (for lack of a better word) nature. I've often felt that, if she could just relax and let go, I'd marry her t'm'row.

Well...

She had an experience over the past couple of weeks...and she's like a totally different person. She's extremely positive, and she is smiling and laughing all of the time, and she seems to really have taken control of her life. She's chasing her goals, and she has a real sense of purpose.

She even looks different. She's a very beautiful woman, but this change in attitude has even affected her looks. Maybe it's all the smiling. Even in the darkest of times, I've always been insanely attracted to her, but now...um...WOW! Tonight she was wearing a "wife beater" and jeans, and it took a lot of willpower for me to avoid snatching her up and...you know.

(I won't get into the whole history, but traditionally we've always struggled to NOT have a physical relationship. We say, "Oh, we'll be friends. No extra stuff." And then, five days later, we're in bed together. But, since I've come back, we haven't done anything. Occasionally we'll look at each other and have a mini-moment, but no making out, or attempted moves.)

As happy as I am that she's happy, our sordid past makes me skeptical. I hope that this is a permanent change. But there's no use getting my hopes up, only to have them crushed again. I will say that I will be following this development very closely...it could make life very interesting...

perspective

Just when you're up to your neck in your whiny little complaints (see post below), real life happens, and reminds you that there are more important things.

I got a dreaded early-morning phone call from my grandmother informing me that my great-uncle passed late last night/early this morning. I won't go into the dynamics of my family, but all you need to know is that my extended family is HUGE (like, around a hundred) and my great-uncle was someone with whom my brother and I actually had a relationship. His wife is one of my favorite people.

Not feeling so sad right now as much as profoundly disappointed.

There will be more to tell about this later.

working boy?

I know that this post probably isn't going to engender any sympathy...in fact, it's probably going to make you hate me a little bit. But it's my blog, and I need to get it off my chest, so here goes.

After a careful review of my finances, I have decided that it may be in my best interests to temp full-time. Meaning that it is very possible that, unless something drastic changes in the next week or so, I'm going to have to work a 9 to 5.

I'm not very good at doing that. I really hate temping, actually. I wish that I could be happy working in an office 40 hours a week - it would make some things in my life a lot easier. So...I'm not sure about this.

What makes me even more frustrated is that I was thisclose to landing a couple of shows in the past few weeks that would have paid me fairly well for at least eight weeks. One was a high profile project (in which, during the callback, I gave the audition of my life, and when I walked out of that room I was certain that they were going to choose me...unfortunately, I think I was the first person they saw that day...).

I'm hoping that this temping thing would only last me a couple of months. I think that bartending would suit me and my lifestyle fairly well, and hopefully I can make some steps to get a job doing that. I'll keep you posted...

DC update

Small - nothing major to report.

I oscillated all day about what I was going to do - call and gush, play it cool, do something in between... I'm not usually this indecisive - I think that the rush of auditions and the lack of sleep were affecting my judgement.

Then, at five, she sent me a text message.

We said we had a good time, etc. I told her that I would call this weekend, and she responded positively. So now I have a few days to think over my next move.

Off to prep for the last huge audition of the week, and then (blessedly) bed.

my trip

I had some coffee to fuel me through the drive home, since I only got 5 1/2 hours of sleep last night and I was yawning around 7. So I made the drive ok...but now I'm not sleepy at all. Nice job, Mr. Genius. Hence, my random thoughts about my day trip today.

- Enterprise gave me a Chevy Cobalt. It was ok...but, if you're going to go through the trouble of renting a car, they should at least provide you with power locks and windows. Is that too much to ask?

- Lots of cops on the road, especially in NJ. Of course, it is close to the end of the month...

- Cruise control is for pussies.

- Every time I go to DC, I think that it's a place that I would love to live eventually. It just seems really cool.

- I hate actors.

- My audition went well, but I have no idea if anything's going to come of it.

- I love the DC Metro. LoveloveloveloveLOVE it. The arched ceilings, the signs telling you when the next train is coming, the simple, easy-to-read maps, the clean carpeted cars - it's a joy to ride on. Nothing beats the NY system for replacing a car, but DC's got a lot of things right. Can they call the MTA? Just to give them a few pointers?

OK, OK, I know you want to hear about the main event. The date.

Well...

I still want this woman to be Mrs. Rover. She's gorgeous - she has one dimple, which kills me. We had a great time. We spent over two hours in the restaurant, and the food was great, and we talked about our families and politics and astrology and music and our jobs, and there was a lot of the "when you meet so-and-so they'll be a lot nicer than that" and "let me know if so-and-so plays in your town 'cause I'll totally come". I picked up the check at the end (naturally) and told her that it was her birthday present, and she said that she would have to reciprocate.

But, when she dropped me off at the train station, she just kind of stopped the car in the middle of the road, and the good-bye was kind of hurried and awkward. There was an attempt at a hug, but you know how seat belts fuck that kind of thing up, and I told her that I'd talk to her soon.

And then she was gone.

She did have guests at her house that she needed to take care of. Or...maybe she just wants to be friends with me. I don't know.

(Not sure if I mentioned this or not before, but apparently there was, at one point, a boyfriend in the picture. But I was assured that he was "not marriage material". And, apparently, I am. Or was.)

As I was waiting on the platform, I really wanted to call her and say the following:

Hey, listen, I just really needed to call and tell you this. I don't know what your situation is right now, but I just wanted to let you know that I think you're amazing. You are smart and funny and articulate and beautiful...you actually take my breath away. And I know that I'm in New York and that you're in DC, and I don't know how to go about this at all, but I really hope that we can try to start to develop something here. Because I like you. A lot.

(Is that cheesy? That's actually pretty close to what I was planning to say - I didn't have the ending worked out, but it definitely included the four adjectives and the breath thing...because I literally couldn't breathe the first time I saw her.)

Anyway, I called one of my friends and she told me that I shouldn't call her, because (a) if she thought the evening was good, she was probably kicking herself for ruining the final moment, and no comment from me would change that; and (b) if she didn't have a good time, or wasn't feeling it, she might think I was a bit psycho. Another friend said that I need to call her and thank her for a good time, and tell her I want to see her again soon, and perhaps the conversation on what the deal is will naturally occur from there.

So...that was my day. Thoughts/comments/questions are welcome.

Up early t'm'row to return the Cobalt (which wasn't even cobalt-colored - dumb!) and then prepare for two huge auditions, which (of course) are Wednesday and Thursday. No rest for the weary.

"we're off to see the wizard!"

Lots of auditions and such these days, so no time to write. I'm headed down to "our nation's cap-i-tal" (that's how Forrest says it) t'm'row for a big one.

And...to see a girl.

I'm trying to keep my expectations low.

(trying)

(trying harder)

(even harder)

I give up. I like her. I hope she likes me.

I'll update you guys later in the week.

sick day

I'm sick.

I'm hoping that it's just a cold, but it's developed from a nasal drip (Friday) to sinus pressure/congestion + runny nose (Saturday) to congestion + cough (today). I'm really hoping that it doesn't develop into any kind of sinus infection.

(And, of course, I get sick two weeks after my health insurance decides to take a three month break. Perfect.)

Generally, I'm a pretty big baby while I'm sick. And I did do a great deal of laying around yesterday.

But I also managed to be super-productive! I got all of the following done:

- rearranged my room
- unpacked two giant boxes of stuff (mailed from Cowtown)
- put clothes in my new canvas wardrobe
- partially set up my bookshelf
- downloaded the first four episodes of 24 (thanks to my iTunes credit)
- built a second giant wardrobe that was supposed to be broken (I have no closets in my space, hence the need for two)

So now I'm feeling more "moved-in". And I'm feeling a bit less under the weather, too. Not well enough for my liking, but still...

Off to my brother's to watch football.

The new N train...

...is the shit.

I'm dragging home a giant wardrobe from The Container Store in about 50 pieces, which I probably paid too much for, and I'm waiting for my train to take me back home, and I see the light shining and then, lo and behold, I see it.

The new N.

Bursting into the light like a beacon of freedom.

Shimmering.

Gleaming.

For me.

(My friend once wrote an e-mail to me about seeing the new 2 train glide into the station at 96th street on a hot summer day, and the words he used were powerful and hilarious at the same time. And I totally thought he was exaggerating...until today. It's really a great moment when a new subway car arrives when you least expect it.)

pick me a lady

A funny list that I found, entitled "Who Should Justin Timberlake Date Next?" Perhaps we should swap out the words "Justin Timberlake" and insert "The Rover", huh?

Check out the list here and let me know who is right for Justin...and for me. (I think it's a toss-up between Ro and Scarlett.)

would it be weird...

...if I bought a used bed on Craigslist? Or icky? Or...would it just be a brilliant, money-savvy move? Discuss.

broke

Before I start this post, I want to state, firmly and for the record, that I am really happy to be back in NYC. It's been great spending quality time with my friends and watching football with my brother. And I had an audition or callback every day last week, so, in that arena, I stick by my previous statement that I feel 2007 is going to be a great year.

However...

I have no money.

I mean...no money.

My bank account is hovering around $19 - and I owe $18 of that to my roommate for a bill.

My checking account has $410 in it, which is great...except that I'm trying to save that for my rent next month. And I'm $250 short. (TofC owes me $290, but...let's just say that I'm not holding my breath.)

I have bits and pieces of work lined up for the next three weeks - being a reader for auditions here, playing a patient for med students there - but the problem is, I probably won't see that money until sometime next month.

So, right now, you're probably saying, "Rover, how could you be so irresponsible to come back to NY without any money saved OR any plan for making money? That was dumb."

Well...actually, I did have a money plan. It's called unemployment. That's how I got through my down times last year. Previously, however, I was getting my money from Sleepy Hamlet's state. By contrast, the state of New York, for some reason, is majorly dragging their feet on my claim. So, instead of getting a little cash each week to help me out, I'm sitting in limbo, with no date for resolution on the horizon.

And the big issue? Credit card bills are due next week, starting on Monday.

HELP!

Seriously, if you can think of any solutions - ways I can pick up some quick cash (legally), how I could put off paying my bills without destroying my credit rating, etc. - I would be much obliged. The so-called "nuclear" option is to ask a friend of mine for a loan (who has already volunteered), but I would really really really like to avoid going down that road. Thanks in advance for your help...

addendum

I feel that I should point out that I had two callbacks this week. Not for the show that I wanted, but at least someone's interested, right? So I feel much better.

More to talk about, including my Friday night adventure, but I'm really really exhausted, and I have a big day of watching football ahead of me t'm'row. So...I'll update soon. Promise.

bummin'

...cause I auditioned for a piece today that I love.

Almost as much as my power broker lady (whom I will hopefully be seeing in two weeks).

It's very rare that I read a play and I feel emotion. I actually got a little choked up at the end of it. Really powerful. And it's a part that, if given the opportunity, I could rock the hell out of.

But, it's just past six, and my cell phone hasn't rung. And I have no new e-mails from my agent. So I guess I didn't get a callback. Which hurts.

It always hurts when you don't get a callback, or get the part, by the way. I just think this stings a little bit more because I admitted to myself that I really wanted to do this. It fit perfectly into my schedule. It would easily have fixed my money problems. I could have commuted to work - or, if I wanted to stay closer to the theater, I could have come home on the weekends.

So I'll mourn the loss of my perfect play for the rest of the night, and I'll get up t'm'row and get ready for the next thing.

homeful

Happy 2007, people. Sorry I've been AWOL for the last week - spent a lot of time in Los Angeles, which included a great visit with GISS (who really needs a new name), and a lot of time on airplanes. But now...I'm back in the city, baby.

And, more importantly, I've got a new place.

I'm no longer homeless! It only took 14 months...

It's a great apartment - brownstone, two levels - in fact, I've got the entire basement to myself. I could use a little more light, and my spiral staircase is a touch dangerous, but it's pretty perfect. I've already got a ton of ideas on how to put it together, and I'm excited to work on it over the next few months.

Not so excited about my cash flow situation. New York's system for filing for unemployment is forcing me to jump through a lot of hoops, and it doesn't look like I'm going to get any cash in the short term. I was able to save a tiny bit during my last jaunt to Cowtown, but it's pretty much going towards my rent in February. So I could be reduced to selling blood plasma soon. I am auditioning a lot right now, though - hopefully I can scrounge up a job or two.

There will be more posts soon, trust me. I just wanted to throw something up quick and let you know that I'm still alive...