an open letter to the fight director

Hey man. Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to read this. I assume that you are busy, since you've only made 2 out of our 20 rehearsals, and we've been fighting every day.

I know that you're good at your job, since you've got such a long resume, but I wanted to give you a couple of pointers. I mean, it's always good to be a lifelong learner, right?

First, if you're going to miss most of the rehearsals, it's probably a good idea to work with the fighters alone first, rather than in front of the entire cast. That way, when you give your 20 simultaneous contradictory notes, it won't be so embarrassing. And, since I'm on the subject, maybe you don't want to give notes that contradict each other. Just a suggestion.

Most importantly, remember that a "fight director" is very different from a "casting director" or a "director". So when you tell an actor that "the best way to make sure that you're never hired again by a fight director is to say what you just said", you should probably know that the actor knows that (a) you don't have the power to hire/fire anyone, (b) you should stop twisting around his words, and (c) everyone knows that you have a small dick.

Thanks for all of your hard work!

Sincerely,

The Rover