Thursday, March 22, 2007

"i'm learning"

Went to DC the other day. The intent was work-related (which was positive; I won't talk of it further because I don't want to jinx anything), but I did manage to squeeze in dinner with the Power Broker. Would you expect any less of me?

Originally I was intending to spend the night. We spoke last week, and everything seemed cool. I sent her a text two days before giving her my itinerary.

She asked me if I needed to spend the night at her place. I thought that was strange, since we had already discussed it, but I wrote back, "Yes, please. If that's ok..."

Her response, "Sure."

The next day - less than 24 hours before my scheduled departure, she calls me and says, "Listen, I'm really sorry, this totally slipped my mind, but I think I should tell you that I'm going out of town the day after tomorrow, and Boyfriend-Not-Boyfriend is going to drive me to the airport, and he's going to stay the night. But, you're totally welcome to stay. If you want."

Needless to say, I changed my ticket.

But I digress. I'm not here to analyze that part of the story. (Although, if you would like to, go ahead.)

We met for dinner last night. And things, as usual, were pretty close to perfect. Good food, great conversation, booze, witty banter and flirtation - great.

But, this time, I was a bit better prepared. Emotionally, that is. And so, towards the end of our meal, I asked her about BNB.

ME: Why aren't you actually with him?

POWER BROKER: Do you want this week's reason? It's a long story...

ME: The short version is ok.

PB: Well, he said from the beginning that he didn't like the term "boyfriend". And even though we basically act like it, it's just not a permanent thing. And he's never seen it as a long term thing, from the beginning.

ME: OK...

PB: And I thought for a while that there might be some potential, but in the last six months or so, I've decided that, even though we're great friends, it's not going to happen. I'm not in love with him. He says it best - we're just not emotionally compatible.

ME: So...why are you still with him?

PB:'s a learning experience.

(I seriously fight the temptation to roll my eyes. I think I am successful.)

PB: I'm learning and growing, and he is too. But when he leaves to do his project, he's going to need all of his focus on that. I'm sure we'll still be friends, but that will be it. And it will have been three years - since it's not going anywhere, that's obviously enough.


Obviously, I'm not waiting on this one.

Don't get me wrong. I like her. I'm virtually certain that she likes me. We're still going to continue to see each other every few weeks. We have both talked about re-evaluating the situation in the fall.

But it's clear that she had some pretty serious feelings for this guy, at some point - if not now. And it seems like she's making one last-ditch effort to see if anything's going to happen on that front, before she gives it up entirely. Which is fine.

I also have the sneaking suspicion that this guy might be a bit of a smooth talker, a wordsmith, a playa. At the very least, he seems to have a unique view of the world. Part of me really wants to meet him, so I can size him up, figure him out. The rational part of me wants to stay as far away as possible.

I'd love to hear everybody's thoughts on this one.

It's late, and I have a killer day t'm'row. I'll try to write more this weekend - there's a lot going on.


L. Britt said...

Rover, first of all...good for you for getting the info! And kudos for not sticking around for what is clearly a crazy situation. You have enough drama in your life, there's no need to court more.

Second of all, she may be smart enough to be a Power Broker, but she is Stupid! How does she let a guy play her for Three Years! Because that's what he's done...even you saw that.

I'm glad your impetus to "change your ticket" is extending to this entire affair. You really do deserve a smarter woman...really.

How does she forget that her BNB is sleeping over and invite her new interest to do the same? Ridiculous.

Let the game-playing begin...

P.S. Now, of course, when you two get married, please don't hold this post against me, kay? :)

Wyn said...

hm... interesting. i'd say you're right in that she seems to want something, even if he's not going to give it. there may also be something else between them that's completely secret.

i don't know her background, but she seems very young in the sense of a relationship - "it's a learning experience" sounds very, well, childlike.

really smart people tend to lack common sense or rational. i'd keep her handy, but at a distance. you're doing a great job so far.

~wyn ^_^