let's go!

I feel like I should apologize for my lackluster blogging effort these past couple of weeks. Yes, I had some trauma, and I'm still mentally recovering, but I should be able to find five minutes to write something down, right? At least, that's how I feel about it.

Hopefully you will have more exciting things to look forward to in the next month. I'm going on a trip this weekend (to Valley City & Rockport), and I start my next acting gig in a month, in a city which I have yet to name.

There's a healthy amount of girl drama as well. And maybe some apartment changes on the horizon, too. All in all, I'm ready to move out of March, and I'm looking forward to April being a great month.

my weekend in pictures

Keeping with the theme... The big grey bridge and, if you look closely, the little red lighthouse. One of my favorite stories as a kid.

Mobile post sent by Rover using Utterz.  Replies.

a night at the hockey game

As you can see, my seats left something to be desired.

Mobile post sent by Rover using Utterz.  Replies.

new york, new york, big city of dreams

The view from the Staten Island Ferry, one of my favorite tourist diversions in the city.

Mobile post sent by Rover using Utterz.  Replies.

routine

As bad as last week was for me, this week has been pretty nice. I joined a gym (because I HAVE to be in great shape for my upcoming show) and I'm pretty much in my show routine, meaning that my day consists of:

waking up around 9:30-10am
surfing the web while drinking green tea
breakfast
going to the gym
lunch
some type of activity (going to a show or working or meeting up with friends)
dinner
come home and unwind
bed around 1-1:30am

It's kind of the way I like to live my life - not too complicated, sort of a loose routine. It feels normal, and these days, that's a big comfort to me.

Off to eat something small before my workout.

thank you

Thanks to everyone who wrote, commented, called, texted, and/or visited me over the past week. The support I received was overwhelming, and I am SO appreciative for it. There's a lot of people that I'm trying to get in touch with, so I promise that you will hear from me soon, if you haven't already.

Most of the doctor visits are finished. The final diagnosis was a bruised retina and a cut under my left eye, both of which are healing quite nicely. And I'm finally feeling close to normal, though I will probably do a short stint in therapy, just to be safe. The NYPD is investigating, and they seem to be taking the case quite seriously, which is awesome. I'll make sure to give you an update if anything happens.

Again, I can't express how thankful I am for all of your thoughts, prayers and good wishes. Just know that it meant the world to me, and I will be eternally grateful for my friends.

random

Because i needed a post, here's some hot sauce.

Mobile post sent by Rover using Utterz.  Replies.

master cleanse

scribbled in my notebook in my room during a gathering at my apartment

Anyone done it? Thoughts on it?

It sounds kind of interesting - should I do it? I don't know if I could go for a week without food, and the drink sounds disgusting, but still...

so true

overheard, at a gathering with my family, roommates, Maxine, and Melissa

"She's so angry all of the time. EAT SOMETHING! You'd be happier!"

a text to a friend

written to Snapple, who came to my rescue a couple of nights ago when I was freaking out in the street

I'm sorry that I haven't said this sooner, but thank you SO much for playing with me Wed. night. You really helped me out.

things you never want your eye doctor to say

"OH!"

(silence)

"It's torn."

(silence)

"I'm SO glad you came in today."

my eye

Taken Tuesday morning at 3am. It looks better now; if I wear glasses, you can't tell that anything happened.

Mobile post sent by Rover using Utterz.  Replies.

i don't feel like posting today.

I'm only doing it because (1) I have to keep my 365 streak alive, and (2) I don't want any of you to think I'm in the fetal position on my floor.

Today was better than yesterday, but, overall, I'm still not great.

Hopefully I'll write more tomorrow.

the sucker punch

Last night, after my date (see the post below), I was home relaxing when StefStar called. She and her model friend were at one of our neighborhood bars up the street, and they wanted me to come out. Which, of course, I did.

The bar wasn't too crowded. Stef put some dumb Irish hat on me, and we were chatty, per usual. There was a guy, late forties or early fifties, sitting next to her wearing a bright orange shirt (meaning that he's an Irish Protestant, meaning he doesn't really love St. Patty's Day) that kept glaring at us, but I figured he just thought I looked stupid with the hat on.

We moved to a table at the front of the bar, right by the door, exchanging pleasantries with a group of people that were kind of in the way. We sat down on the stools - the table is high and started chatting.

We were seated for maybe a couple of minutes when I felt a large hand forcefully clap me on the back. At first I thought that one of the guys in the group was coming over to join us. When the hand began to swing me off the stool, I then stupidly thought I was being thrown out of the bar for some reason.

Instead I was spun around. Everything happened very quickly:

lights
orange
fist
pressure on cheekbone (no pain)
ceiling
floor
blackness
lying on stomach
pressure on back
punching up
i yelled, "get this muthafucka OFF of me"
pressure gone

I jumped up, ready to square off, but the bartender had already pushed Big Orange out the door. One I got my bearings (when I was laying on the floor on my stomach) I had been fairly calm and clear, ready to fight (and I swear to God that if that man had been standing before me when I got up, I would have gone to jail last night - I'm not proud of that, but it's true), but when I saw the man was gone, then noises began to come back, and I realized that I was bleeding, and I started shouting, "Why did he do that? WHY DID HE DO THAT? WHAT DID I DO?"

The bartender says, "You don't even wanna know, man,"

(which is fucking code, a code i fucking hate, because it's not a code at all, it just means that the person doesn't want to repeat what they heard, because they think my ears will break or my soul will shrivel up, but i'm tougher than that and i've surely heard worse than that)

to which I respond, "Yes, I DO wanna know. What did he say?"

to which the bartender responds, "Racial shit. He said he was gonna knock your teeth out. I asked why. He said cause you were black. So I told him you gotta go, man. And he said ok, and started walking out, but then he grabbed you."

Yeah.

In fucking Brooklyn.

The bar's GM tried to get us not to call the cops, but we did. Six of them showed up. They were all really surprised. My eye was bleeding, and starting to swell, so they called EMS. StefStar and her model friend were great - they came with me to the hospital. We didn't get out of there until 3. I went back to the hospital at nine and underwent a battery of tests on my eye. The doctor told me I was really lucky. I've just got a bruised cheekbone, a sore shin, some cut and sore fingers and a ugly cut under my eye. No retinal detachments, no corneal scratches, no concussions, nothing else. And the cops are on the case - they've already called me today to gather more information. The bar's even got surveillance footage, and they've agreed to give it to me and/or the cops. So we may get the bastard.

You know what?

I'm still angry.

I really hope that this guy doesn't live in my neighborhood. I really really hope he doesn't. Because I don't want to see him again. Because I don't know what I'll do. I might just attack him, do him like he did me. But I would at least call him out, because only cowards sucker punch people.

Of course, that would land me in jail, which would just make me another statistic.

Or I could run, hide, duck out of a bar or store if he's in there, or cross to the other side of the street if I see him coming, because I don't want any more conflict. There's always a risk to fighting, after all.

But then I feel like a wimp, a pussy, a chump. And I have to live with that. I'm already kicking myself for not doing more - not that I reasonably had any chance in that situation.

I keep trying to tell myself that I'm lucky. Lucky that he didn't hit me a millimeter higher, where that cut would have been on my eyeball. Lucky that he didn't hit me two inches lower and maybe break my jaw or knock out some teeth. Lucky that I didn't go after him outside, where I could have hurt him badly, or he could have hurt me badly, or where I could have gotten arrested. Lucky that the doctors at the hospital caught my high blood pressure, or the (potential) warning signs for glaucoma - maybe that stuff goes undiagnosed, and I start having serious health problems.

Lucky.

You know what?

I don't think I buy it.

At least not today.

Ask me tomorrow.

I just want to stop being angry.

in other news...

I DID have a date last night.

I'm trying to think of a good name for her - nothing as of yet. She is, however, the ex-girlfriend of The Traveler (my new roommate - who is a girl). Apparently The Traveler told all of her single female friends that her new roommate was cute and available, and her ex jumped on the bandwagon first.

She's a law student, petite, blonde (yeah, yeah), super smart, passionate. Last night was the third time we hung out, but the first "date". Drinks at a bar followed by dinner. Followed by me walking her home. Followed by a quick good night kiss.

She's going out of town for a week, and when she comes back her schedule is worse than mine, and then I'm going away for a month, but she seems really cool, and we have a good vibe. One red flag, though (besides the fact that she's my roommate's ex) is that the two of them fight like cats and dogs. It's kind of ridiculous.

Overall, though, it's a good thing. We'll see what happens. Looking forward to the comments...

sorry, folks...

...about all of the half-assed blog posts lately. Last week was just exhausting for me. One of my friends and I figured out that I had about six hours of waking leisure time over the past week. The rest were all spent at work, in transit to/from work, and/or working on the fellowship.

I've got a couple of posts for Friday and Sunday to put up; I'll get those up in the next day or two. Nothing spectacular. (The Thursday night Utterz post was from work - I was just trying to demonstrate how obnoxious it can be there.)

I have a date tonight. That's an interesting story. I can already hear some of you crying out, "That is such a bad idea," when you hear the story. But I soldier on. Details later.

smack talk

via text message

LIL' BIT: How does it make you feel that I am ahead in scrabulous? Secure?

ME: I didn't look today. But hey, a stopped clock is right twice a day. :-)

LIL' BIT: You know better than to underestimate me...

ME: Right...

LIL' BIT: Just face the truth.

ME: That I will win? Ok.

LIL' BIT: Um no.

ME: So sad.

LIL' BIT: Yes you are sad.

ME: There are a lot of tiles left. I have you right where I want you.

LIL' BIT: Too bad I am currently AHEAD and you are currently in DENIAL. Talk is cheap

ME: Agreed.

The fuel of champions

Another slow night at work. I have been here entirely too much lately. And i am so tired that i an ready to pass out. So i keep tossin down these.

Mobile post sent by Rover using Utterz.  Replies.

the cover to the fellowship

To Whom It May Concern:


My name is The Rover, and I am applying for the Fellowship. Enclosed are the materials for my application. Please feel free to contact me to set up an interview, or with any questions you may have. I look forward to hearing from you.

Mobile post sent by Rover using Utterz.  Replies.  mp3

i'm hungry...

...and yet I don't want any of the food in my house. Is that strange?

Maybe I should just order a pizza. Of course, I had a pizza last night.

I suppose the easiest thing to do would be to just not eat. But...then I'll be hungry (thank you, Captain Obvious).

These are the days when I just want the food pill, you know? One capsule will satisfy you for hours!

All right, all right. I'll see if there's anything in the fridge.

my statement of purpose

I'm applying for a fellowship that would set me on a course to run a theater. More on the stakes of this later, but I wanted to share what I wrote. Let me know what you think.

I learned three important things from President Reagan growing up.

1. Just say no.
2. Ketchup is a vegetable.
3. The arts aren’t important.

I mean, isn’t that the reason why he continually proposed drastic funding cuts to the NEA every year of his presidency?

I wonder if this laissez-faire view of the importance of the arts is the reason why so many young people (in this context, under the age of 35) seem to have no concept of the magic of theater. One of the things I am most passionate about – and one of the issues that inspires me to become an artistic director – is trying to lure a younger audience to the theater. I am a member of “Generation X”, and I am quite confused as to why my generation and the generation below us – the “Millenials” – do not consider theater as an entertainment option. It is vital that we attract the next generation of theatergoers, but it is equally important that we tell inclusive stories that do not alienate the folks who are already supporting us. I believe we can – and, more importantly, we have a responsibility – to tell stories that speak to a diverse audience.

I consider myself a storyteller. Most of my work in this medium has been on stage, but I have always been interested in the entire process, from the first words written on the page to the removal of the final set piece. I have worked in almost every area of the theater. I’ve made it a point to speak to the artistic directors, educational directors and dramaturgs at the places I’ve worked at, to get a feel for their organizations and what they do. I frequently volunteer to be a reader at auditions, and I carefully watch casting directors and directors, and ask questions when appropriate. I’ve sat on play selection committees and witnessed the give-and-take that goes into putting a season together. All of my experience has been in preparation to one day become an artistic director and lead an organization of my own.

There are other reasons why I would eventually like to run a theater: I enjoy telling stories, and I believe that I can do it more effectively from an administrative post than on stage; I think that my background and my experience give me a unique perspective; I view running a theater as the ultimate artistic challenge. I believe that I have a good skill set for this position, too. I am hard working, a good listener, and I am ready to learn.

I realize that it will be next to impossible to maintain the present status of my acting career if I am chosen as the recipient of this fellowship. I firmly believe, however, that I can continue to pursue local acting opportunities. I also hope to continue pursuing my craft as a director in smaller projects around the city. Learning the ropes and absorbing the lessons taught to me by the (theater company) staff, however, would absolutely be my first priority.

Hey, maybe we’ll all get lucky: I’ll land a commercial, make millions, and fund the theater myself. In our present political climate, that may be what it takes. And I’m committed to making it work.

working on my statement of purpose

Hoping to finish it in time to put it up here for all to see. Keep your fingers crossed.

ay carumba!

How busy is my upcoming week?

Let's put it this way: I am submitting a fellowship application that needs to be handed in by Friday. I have to finish it tonight, because I don't have any other time.

What am I applying for? That's another post in itself.

Guess I should get to work.

lazy Saturday

I don't really want to do anything today. I just want to sit on my couch, pick through the things on my DVR, maybe watch some college hoops (that's what I'm doing right now). But that's it.

I was productive this morning: went grocery shopping, picked up some things at Target, checked out a new eye doctor that's in my 'hood, dropped off some jeans at the tailor. That's enough for one day, right?

I am going to another Knicks game tonight with a friend, and I think that will be a good time. But right now I just want to sit here forever...

i got a job!

Remember the horrible audition I wrote about on Tuesday?

Turns out it wasn't so terrible.

It felt horrific. I left there feeling so bad...and then the headshot thing, of course. But on Tuesday afternoon, I got an e-mail from my agent, telling me to be at the callback on Thursday.

(I double-checked the e-mail, to make sure it had my name on it, etc. - I actually thought the casting director had made a mistake.)

I was worried about working on the piece, but I was able to get some time, strangely, at work on Wednesday night. And then, on Thursday, when I went in there...

I killed it.

It was one of the best auditions I've ever had in my life. I was facile, responsive, open, agile - I mean, I shone. I was great. And at the end, the director looked at me with that little gleam they get in their eye sometimes - that's when you know you've got a shot.

And today, my agent sent me a note telling me that I got the part.

It's a short gig. It doesn't start for a couple of months. But it isn't in the city, which means that I've got to come up with a new pseudonym. I can tell you that it is within a half day's drive, which is exciting because my family can come see it. And it's a big enough role that it's totally worth seeing.

So this has made my weekend. Hopefully yours is as good...

my stomach hurts

I went to an engagement party tonight, and all I ate was cheese, hummus, and brownies. And three glasses of wine. And a beer.

And I feel like all I do all day at my temp job is eat crap. I mean, I have to stay awake somehow...

All this adds up to the fact that I really am feeling like I need to head back to the gym...

A typical night at work for me

Listening to a band I don't like, watching drunk folk stumble to and fro, breaking up fights, getting ignored by hot chicks...yup, this is my life.

Mobile post sent by Rover using Utterz.  Replies.

headshots

I need new headshots.

I've been hearing about this for some time, but an experience yesterday crystalized it for me. I finished an audition that, I thought, went horribly. Still, I left the room and prepared to do my normal "hang around" routine, just in case they needed anything else. To my amazement, the casting director came out of the room and headed straight for me.

"ROVER. You have GOT to get new HEADSHOTS. I mean, the ones you have are just AWFUL. They're HORRIBLE. And you're a handsome guy!"

So...guess I'm getting new headshots. Which is a process that I hate. And I don't have any money to pay for them.

But it's better than hearing that again.

apathy, thy name is Knicks fans

Went to see the Knicks play tonight.

Yuck.

To be fair, the team actually played fairly well tonight. They were down 90-88 with just a couple of minutes to go.

They lost 100-88.

Two big observations.

1. Isiah is terrible. He yanked Nate Robinson - who had been playing well all night - with just under two minutes to go. The Hornets then went on a 10-0 run. Game over.

2. The crowd is just pathetic. It's directly related to #1 - Isiah's bad management, coupled with the ineptitude during the Layden years, has really turned the fans off. But it's no wonder the team doesn't have any kind of spark - no one is rooting for them!

Oh yeah, can I add a third comment?

3. Chris Paul is an awesome player. He's also a great person - he spoke to a bunch of us after the game for ten minutes or so, and I was really struck by how nice of a guy he is. Very savvy, and smart. And his game is sick.

I'm kind of getting back into the NBA, so you may have to put up with more hoops posts. Hope you don't mind...

buyers' remorse

I always suffer from it, no matter what it is I buy.

Today it was one of those rolling shopping/laundry carts. I always have too much laundry to carry to the nice laundromat, which is about six blocks away, so it's essential for me to buy one of these. I picked one up at Target about a month ago, but in my moving-crazed hurry, I failed to notice that it was waaaaay too small. (That one wasn't buyers' remorse - it was just me being stupid.)

Today I picked up a cart that was the size I wanted. But my brain already started nit-picking as I walked home: should have gotten it in black, should have gotten one with rubber wheels instead of plastic, paid way too much for it, it's not a quality product, etc.

I do this every time I make a major purchase.

I feel better about it now (except for the wheels; rubber is WAY better), probably because I now have clean laundry and full cupboards, which I didn't have a few hours ago.

All right, TV, dinner, a little rehearsal for my audition tomorrow, then bed. Catch ya tomorrow - maybe I'll be brave enough to write from the temp job...

I tried growing a moustache...

Obviously, it didn't work.

Mobile post sent by Rover using Utterz.  Replies.