This definitely qualifies as one of the super-fun adventures I'm supposed to be blogging about.
I'm at the grocery store the other night...picking up a couple of beers before heading over to console my friend who's had his heart broken. I'm standing in the booze aisle, where a young lady is looking over the selection. Very cute, blonde hair, on the short side, casual but stylish. She does the look-at-you-'til-you-look-over-at-me-then-I'll-turn-my-head thing. Looks back and smiles at me, I smile at her. She comes over to me.
"Excuse me, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure..." (of course I'm thinking she's going to ask me out or something)
"Do you know where I could find watermelon?"
(Is this a joke? Is she joking right now? She did NOT just ask the black guy if he knew where the watermelons were...like he's got that location memorized, along with all the fried chicken joints.)
"I just don't know where it could be..."
(I don't even LIKE watermelon! Did someone tell her to do this to black people? Is this some kind of sorority prank?)
(Less hypersensitive section of brain kicks in, focuses on cooler in front of face)
"Um, do you mean...watermelon-flavored ALCOHOL?"
(Oh dear God...I thought I was going to have to kill this woman...)
"Well, there's some watermelon Smirnoff right in front of us..."
"Oh, yeah...that's exactly what I wanted! Wow, thank you so much!"
"Um, no problem."
"Cool. Well, have a good night..."
I have to get out of this town.