seven years later

written in my journal, in my room

I don't write much in here anymore (much of that is due to the fact that I'm blogging every day) but there's something about today that makes me want to put the pen to paper, like I did seven years ago.

I can't believe it's been seven years.

It feels like so long ago, but when I start watching the news, seeing the parades and the speeches, the gathering of the families at Ground Zero, the Democratic and Republican candidates paying their respects together, the reading of the names and the pictures of the dead; and then, the footage.

It all comes rushing back, all of those complicated emotions, guilt and sadness and fear, and I don't know quite what to do with myself.

You know the thing that really drives it home for me? The lights, that emanate from from the footprints and go up forever, just like the Towers seemed to do. I look forward to their presence every year - but seeing them makes me ache for what we lost that day.