Conversation with the horny older lady in my show (there have been several disturbing conversations, but this is the latest - and maybe the grossest):
HORNY OLDER LADY: Oh, you shaved your head for the show!
ME: Yeah, Suri and I cut it last night.
HORNY OLDER LADY: Can I touch it?
ME: Um, sure...it's kind of sandpapery, 'cause I haven't gone over it with a razor yet...
(HORNY OLDER LADY grabs at my crotch. I quickly swing my hips away, to avoid contact.)
HORNY OLDER LADY: HA HA HA!
ME: (running to corner, sits in fetal position, rocking back and forth) Bad touching, bad touching, bad touching...
OK, I made that last line up. But the attempted crotch grab - yep, that actually happened.