knocked for a loop

There's something 'bout your love...
That makes me weak and
Knocks me off...my feet.
That knocks me off my feet.

I don't want to bore...you with it...
oh but I love you I love you I love you

- Stevie Wonder



OK, if you've ever met me, you know that I constantly joke about how I fall in love on the subway in NYC all of the time. But, in reality, I don't believe in love at first sight. At all. All that Romeo and Juliet stuff? Two crazy kids whose hormones were running amock. If they had lived past their first week together, they probably would have ended up fighting like cats and dogs, and one of them would have gotten dumped, and it would have made the whole Capulet/Montague feud worse. It's impossible.

After today...well...

...um...

...let's just say that I may have to readjust my thinking a teensy bit.

I mean, I'm not actually, you know, in love. I like this woman a lot. And I'm pretty sure that she likes me. But there's been no verbal acknowledgement of our mutual "like", no dancing together, no romantic kisses, no sex. And that's not even getting into the other obstacles...

Let me start at the beginning.

I went into the theater today, like usual, to start our stupid "warm-up", and there were only a handful of people there. And I started my spiel, introducing myself like normal, talking about what I do at TofC, etc.

And then she walked in.

I actually thought she was one of the students I teach at first (because when you see a young woman coming to see a play at TofC you automatically assume that she must have some connection to the company - young adults in this town don't see plays) so, in the name of politeness, I interrupted my speech and said hello. And she said hi back, but as she came into the light, I realized that (a) she was an adult, and (b) she was gorgeous. Totally my type. (L. Britt and/or Bright Eyes would probably snidely say, "blonde", to which I would say, "well, blonde isn't my type at all! - but yes, she's a blonde.")

And I, Mr. Cool Calm & Collected, never at a loss for words, always ready for the unexpected...I was completely speechless. I totally lost my place. I got a little flustered, tripped over my words, stammered, and actually said to the audience, "Have I said anything important yet?" It was embarrassing.

During the whole warm-up, she kept distracting me. She was sitting in the front row, and I would glance over the crowd, like normal, but I was always going back to her. And she was listening, and nodding, and laughing at my funny lines. And I kept getting thrown off. Like, five or six times. This never happens to me. Ever.

Even during the show, I was super-conscious of her. Very difficult for me to concentrate. I rarely worry about the audience when I'm acting, let alone one person. But this woman was throwing me for a loop.

At curtain call, when we bowed, I made a point of looking at her twice - once at the beginning, once at the end, right before I left stage. And she was definitely looking at me. Yay! Except now the show was over, and I would never see her again.

We go backstage, and the whole cast is gathered in the hallway talking about how shitty the performance was (it was really quite bad) and I mentioned that I was "in love" with this girl in the front row, and the stage manager runs up to me and says, "That's the assistant stage manager's best friend!"

I died.

When we came back at night for our second show, I mentioned to the ASM (who we'll call Amina) that I thought her friend was awesome, to which she replied, "Well, she was asking about you, too."

I won't bore you with the details, but it was determined over the course of the next couple of hours that our astrological signs matched, and that we would meet (with others) for drinks.

And we totally hit it off.

She's in a position of power. So much power, in fact, that I'm not even going to mention exactly what she does. But it's pretty impressive. She's poised, and intelligent, and fun, and beautiful, and I can't believe that I met someone like her, and that she was even remotely interested in me. Unfortunately, she's only in Cowtown for a couple of days visiting her mother, and she doesn't live in Brooklyn (although it's not too bad of a flight from there to where she resides) so I have no idea when I'll see her again. But I really hope it's soon.

Does this sound silly? Is it the alcohol talking? Is it the lonliness of Cowtown finally getting to me, after three months of having only Suri as a companion? Or maybe humans are destined to have experiences like this, crossing paths with people we find extraordinary, only never to meet again. And maybe you're just supposed to be grateful, and move on.

I don't know. I do know, however, that she made what was supposed to be an annoying Saturday...spectacular. And, even if I don't see her again, I'll carry the memory of this day with me for a long time.

Along with her card. ;-)