partner

Last night I went on a date. (Ah, the excitement of single life.) The date was with a young lady who...well...let's just say that she deserves her own post. We saw Up In The Air, which is a fantastic movie - but maybe not one you should see on a date. One of the central themes of the movie is about connections, and whether or not a person really needs a partner.

This movie really hit home for me for several reasons - it's essentially an exaggerated version of my lifestyle - but especially because of this idea of partners. I've been thinking a lot about partners lately. I kind of had a horrifying breakthrough in therapy last week:

I want to be in a relationship.

I was actually kind of shocked by that discovery. I mean, I just got out of an on-and-off situation that lasted for almost eight years! I've been single for only a few months - well, eight...but that doesn't seem like that long! Shouldn't I be on the prowl every night? Shouldn't I be sleeping with everything that moves? Shouldn't I be looking to hook up with young women who don't have a care in the world? Sure, those things are all fun...but I want more than that.

And that makes me feel incredibly weak.

My therapist, when I mentioned that to her, reminded me that human beings are designed for companionship. And, logically, I know she's right. And I also know, logically, that while I do want a female companion - a "plus one", if you will - that I'm not ready to jump into marriage and children and all that stuff right now. But emotionally I feel like they're all interconnected.

I'm in an interesting place right now.

I feel like there's more to share about this, but I can't really form the words right now. Let's come back to this after I've had some food...