Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Last night I went on a date. (Ah, the excitement of single life.) The date was with a young lady who...well...let's just say that she deserves her own post. We saw Up In The Air, which is a fantastic movie - but maybe not one you should see on a date. One of the central themes of the movie is about connections, and whether or not a person really needs a partner.

This movie really hit home for me for several reasons - it's essentially an exaggerated version of my lifestyle - but especially because of this idea of partners. I've been thinking a lot about partners lately. I kind of had a horrifying breakthrough in therapy last week:

I want to be in a relationship.

I was actually kind of shocked by that discovery. I mean, I just got out of an on-and-off situation that lasted for almost eight years! I've been single for only a few months - well, eight...but that doesn't seem like that long! Shouldn't I be on the prowl every night? Shouldn't I be sleeping with everything that moves? Shouldn't I be looking to hook up with young women who don't have a care in the world? Sure, those things are all fun...but I want more than that.

And that makes me feel incredibly weak.

My therapist, when I mentioned that to her, reminded me that human beings are designed for companionship. And, logically, I know she's right. And I also know, logically, that while I do want a female companion - a "plus one", if you will - that I'm not ready to jump into marriage and children and all that stuff right now. But emotionally I feel like they're all interconnected.

I'm in an interesting place right now.

I feel like there's more to share about this, but I can't really form the words right now. Let's come back to this after I've had some food...


Marj said...

Happy New Year, welcome back, glad you're out of the hospital and well done on your discovery.


Ginger said...

Why are you paying a therapist? I could tell you all this stuff for free. With doughnuts.


The Rover said...

Therapist is free! Perk of living where I do.