the holidays were happy

I'm such a slacker when it comes to posting on here lately.

Good reason this time, though.

Spent the last few days with the fam. It was amazing. I had loads of fun with everybody, got a couple of cool gifts, and ate some TREMENDOUS food. My brother made a brunch so good, I think I could have eaten forever. Crab quiche, creme brulee french toast (with Grand Marnier syrup), ham, and a giant fruit plate. I'm salivating at the memory.

And now I'm hip-deep in packing. I've managed to do something remarkable - I think I may actually leave here with LESS stuff! That would be sweet.

Headed to LA immediately after the show to ring in 2007. See y'all on the other side! Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

I'll be with the fam, so I know my Christmas will be great.

Here's hoping that you and yours have a fantastic holiday.

knocked for a loop

There's something 'bout your love...
That makes me weak and
Knocks me off...my feet.
That knocks me off my feet.

I don't want to bore...you with it...
oh but I love you I love you I love you

- Stevie Wonder



OK, if you've ever met me, you know that I constantly joke about how I fall in love on the subway in NYC all of the time. But, in reality, I don't believe in love at first sight. At all. All that Romeo and Juliet stuff? Two crazy kids whose hormones were running amock. If they had lived past their first week together, they probably would have ended up fighting like cats and dogs, and one of them would have gotten dumped, and it would have made the whole Capulet/Montague feud worse. It's impossible.

After today...well...

...um...

...let's just say that I may have to readjust my thinking a teensy bit.

I mean, I'm not actually, you know, in love. I like this woman a lot. And I'm pretty sure that she likes me. But there's been no verbal acknowledgement of our mutual "like", no dancing together, no romantic kisses, no sex. And that's not even getting into the other obstacles...

Let me start at the beginning.

I went into the theater today, like usual, to start our stupid "warm-up", and there were only a handful of people there. And I started my spiel, introducing myself like normal, talking about what I do at TofC, etc.

And then she walked in.

I actually thought she was one of the students I teach at first (because when you see a young woman coming to see a play at TofC you automatically assume that she must have some connection to the company - young adults in this town don't see plays) so, in the name of politeness, I interrupted my speech and said hello. And she said hi back, but as she came into the light, I realized that (a) she was an adult, and (b) she was gorgeous. Totally my type. (L. Britt and/or Bright Eyes would probably snidely say, "blonde", to which I would say, "well, blonde isn't my type at all! - but yes, she's a blonde.")

And I, Mr. Cool Calm & Collected, never at a loss for words, always ready for the unexpected...I was completely speechless. I totally lost my place. I got a little flustered, tripped over my words, stammered, and actually said to the audience, "Have I said anything important yet?" It was embarrassing.

During the whole warm-up, she kept distracting me. She was sitting in the front row, and I would glance over the crowd, like normal, but I was always going back to her. And she was listening, and nodding, and laughing at my funny lines. And I kept getting thrown off. Like, five or six times. This never happens to me. Ever.

Even during the show, I was super-conscious of her. Very difficult for me to concentrate. I rarely worry about the audience when I'm acting, let alone one person. But this woman was throwing me for a loop.

At curtain call, when we bowed, I made a point of looking at her twice - once at the beginning, once at the end, right before I left stage. And she was definitely looking at me. Yay! Except now the show was over, and I would never see her again.

We go backstage, and the whole cast is gathered in the hallway talking about how shitty the performance was (it was really quite bad) and I mentioned that I was "in love" with this girl in the front row, and the stage manager runs up to me and says, "That's the assistant stage manager's best friend!"

I died.

When we came back at night for our second show, I mentioned to the ASM (who we'll call Amina) that I thought her friend was awesome, to which she replied, "Well, she was asking about you, too."

I won't bore you with the details, but it was determined over the course of the next couple of hours that our astrological signs matched, and that we would meet (with others) for drinks.

And we totally hit it off.

She's in a position of power. So much power, in fact, that I'm not even going to mention exactly what she does. But it's pretty impressive. She's poised, and intelligent, and fun, and beautiful, and I can't believe that I met someone like her, and that she was even remotely interested in me. Unfortunately, she's only in Cowtown for a couple of days visiting her mother, and she doesn't live in Brooklyn (although it's not too bad of a flight from there to where she resides) so I have no idea when I'll see her again. But I really hope it's soon.

Does this sound silly? Is it the alcohol talking? Is it the lonliness of Cowtown finally getting to me, after three months of having only Suri as a companion? Or maybe humans are destined to have experiences like this, crossing paths with people we find extraordinary, only never to meet again. And maybe you're just supposed to be grateful, and move on.

I don't know. I do know, however, that she made what was supposed to be an annoying Saturday...spectacular. And, even if I don't see her again, I'll carry the memory of this day with me for a long time.

Along with her card. ;-)

so close...yet so far away...

When I'm on the road doing some work, I tend to spend a lot of time at the gym. Quite frankly, I really don't have anything else to do, and I might as well work on getting myself in shape, right?

I've also been more conscious of working out in the last couple of years because the men in my family tend to swell up shortly after they hit 30, and...let's just say that getting fat right now would be a bad thing for my career. (It could also have serious health ramifications, since certain diseases run in my family.)

So, for the past few months, I've been at the gym 4-6 days a week, generally busting my butt. And I can see a real difference. I've just got one "layer" of fat separating my abs from a six-pack, which would be tremendous. And I thought to myself, "Sure, Christmas is coming up, and with it lots of bad foods and less exercise, but if you make a committment, you can really make this happen!" And, with pilot season coming up, it would kind of be the perfect time.

So what did I do last night?

Went to the bar.

Had several drinks.

Stopped at Hardee's/Carl's Jr.

Ordered the Six-Dollar Philly Cheesesteak Burger.

With fries.

It was so good. But I undid a day's workout in ten minutes.

(sigh)

Back to work, I suppose.

still here

...just not so much going on. My family is coming out to Cowtown for Xmas, which is tremendously exciting, so I've been running around trying to get things ready for them. I feel kind of dumb for not putting any decorations up, but what's the point? I'm leaving here in two weeks. I think I'm just going to find a picture of a tree on the internet, print it out, and put it up on a wall. That will be festive, right?

I'll try to get one more post up before they all descend on Sunday.

more idiocy

Sorry so many of my postings are about race lately. But lots of things seem to be popping up lately, and I gotta write about what I'm experiencing, right?

The latest target of my anger is John Ridley. He's a screenwriter who has decided that he is the newest black intellectual. And he's airing his opinions in some pretty impressive forums.

Unfortunately, I think he sounds like a moron. (Cornel West would probably call him a nihilist, but I'm not as classy as he is.)

He wrote an article for last week's issue of TIME, called "Why I'm Good With The N-Word". I found it ridiculous.

Then, as I was flipping through my December '06 issue of Esquire (one of my favorite magazines), I found another essay by Mr. Ridley, entitled "The Manifesto of the Ascendancy for the Modern American Nigger". This one just pissed me off.

(I was even more disappointed when I found out that this was the man behind the genius of Undercover Brother, which is a severely underrated movie - though the ending kind of sucks.)

Anyway, the Esquire essay made me so angry that I'm actually contemplating writing a letter to the magazine, something that I rarely do.

The main thing this clown doesn't get? It's a lesson I learned as a child, and again as a teenager (see the bottom half of this post). It doesn't matter how smart, or articulate, or clever you are. You can try to disassociate yourself from "Blacktivists" and "niggers". You can even write them off, turn your back on them.

But to the people that truly are racists, to those who are uncomfortable with black people...guess what?

You are, and always were, and always will be just another nigger to them.

ugh

Before each show, I do what's called a "warm-up". I discuss the process of creating a new play, give some insight into the playwright, and talk a bit about the plot (but not too much, since I don't want to give anything away) and themes (race is one of them). I end with this spectacular quote about the audience's role in theater, which I got from a friend - really inspirational, and it totally hooks the people.

Unfortunately, there's kind of an open-door policy, so I may only start with a couple of people, and as the show gets closer, more people start wandering in. And some of them are old, and some people are talking, and occasionally a cell phone goes off. But, generally, if I have them listening for the closing speech, I'm able to hook them.

Yesterday, I was in a terrible mood. I was really sore (this play takes a toll on my body) and tired (which is another story) and I didn't particularly want to to a matinee. And when I got to the theater for the talk, there were no ushers to control the crowd. So I knew that there was going to be a lot of disruption.

There was a very small group of people there for the beginning, when I talk about the themes of the play. The majority of the crowd arrived right before my spectacular ending (which is great, because nothing ruins the ending like some people barging in). So I launch into my talk about the role of the audience, and people are engaged, and I started feeling ok. And I finished, and thanked the audience, and asked if any one had any questions about what I had just said, or for me personally (sometimes people want to hear my bio) or about the play.

And this sixty-something white guy, who was only there for the feel-good audience portion of it, raises his hand and says:

"Is the 'n-word' used in this play?"

I can't remember the last time I was (a) so shocked, and (b) so close to telling someone off in a public setting. Instead of engaging, I stared at him for a second, gave a curt, "No," and moved on.

I think that the rest of the audience was surprised, because there were no other questions.

I don't know if I can properly articulate to you why this upset me so much. I wished I had asked him why that was important to him, because now all I am left with are questions. I guess I just felt that I had spent all of this time talking about a very complicated issue, and this guy came in and reduced it to ethnic slurs.

Reactions?

can't sleep

...which is really pissing me off, because I have to get up at eight to teach. I generally hate waking up that early, so you can imagine how wonderful it will be when the alarm jolts me out of REM sleep in a few hours.

Had an audition today for an old theater company I used to work for (haven't thought of a good name for it yet) - it's under new management, and the new top dog is a friend/colleague of mine, and I'm feeling pretty good about the prospects of being out there in the near future. I'm really excited about the possibility, although part of me is terrified because I've never worked there without either my good grad school buddy or the X (where we met). And I don't know if I could do two or three months there without them.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted on the gig. I probably won't find out for at least two months, although I'm scheduled to meet with someone when I get back to NY, which would give me a good indication of what the deal is.

Off to find some of that "sleepytime" tea to see if it works...

horny older lady strikes again!

We're doing Secret Santa at work. I kind of hate doing the whole cloak-and-dagger thing, but I'm getting stuff in return, so it's all good, right?

Anyway, I have to give mad props to Suri, because she saved me from the Horny Older Lady. Suri and HOL were sharing a dressing room for a while, and apparently she kept saying, "I hope I get The Rover in Secret Santa. I totally know what I'll get him: thong underwear! Maybe he'll wear them for me!"

Maybe I'll douse myself with gasoline and set myself on fire, too.

HOL was also going through a phase a couple of weeks ago where she kept telling Suri the things she wanted to do to me, in graphic detail. And Suri would always say, "Look, HOL, you need to chill. And you need to not tell The Rover these things."

"But I can't help it. He's so hot!"

"That may be, but it's gross, and you're going to freak him out. So knock it off."

God bless Suri.

i always thought i was the boy next door

...but apparently, I'm wrong.

I'm posting this little survey-thingy, but only because L. Britt did it. It was actually kind of fun - and amazingly accurate:

FACT: You embody the German principle of Konstantzusammenschaft, which is best described in English (without using the obscure English word "sammenschaft") as "eternal togethermanship".   The Loverboy Random Gentle Love Master (RGLMm)     Well-liked. Well-established. You are The Loverboy. Loverboys thrive in committed, steady relationships--as opposed to, say, Playboys, who want sex without too much attachment.     You've had many relationships and nearly all of them have been successful. You're a nice guy, you know the ropes, and even if you can be a little hasty with decisions, most girls think of you as a total catch. Your hastiness comes off as spontaneity most of the time anyhow, making you especially popular in your circle of friends, too. Your exact opposite: The Billy Goat Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer     You know not to make the typical Loverboy mistake of choosing someone who appreciates your good humor and popularity, but who offers nothing in return. You belong with someone outgoing, independent, and creative. Otherwise, you'll get bored. And then instead of surprising her with flowers or a practical joke, you'll surprise her by leaving. ALWAYS AVOID: The Nymph CONSIDER: The Window Shopper, The Peach Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: SmooveB32

Vader Sessions

Some people have entirely too much time on their hands.

(I admit, I am usually one of them.)

However, what these people have the ability to create with this spare time? Genius.

The next time you have nine minutes to kill, check out this video of Darth Vader's nervous breakdown.

And let me know if you found this as funny as I did.

World AIDS Day

Despite the content of the post below this one, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that today is World AIDS Day. As a person who has lost a close family member to the disease, I'm committed to doing everything I can to eradicate HIV and AIDS. Hopefully, in my lifetime, we can beat this thing.

Please give. Give your money, or your time, or just spread the word. Do something. Thanks.

Oh. My. God.

Stop what you're doing.

Seriously, stop.

Now, read this article from the USA TODAY. It's about a month old, but no matter.

Why should you read it?

Because...um, I can't believe I'm actually typing this...well...

Apparently, YOUR government...is using millions of YOUR tax dollars to tell you to...NOT have sex.

Not teenagers.

Adults.

Specifically, adults ages 20-29.

That's right.

As this San Francisco Chronicle article states, this really makes me want to go out and have sex immediately.

"the n-word"

ESPN.com's Page 2 has a very interesting article about the use of "the n-word" in the world of sports.

I feel like there have been several racial flaps making news in the last couple of weeks. We had Michael Richards' classic rant in LA; the Michael Irvin "his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandma pulled one of them studs up out of the barn" comments (you can read the full text of his statements here; scroll down to item #7.); and Chiefs RB Larry Johnson saying that he feels more comfortable playing for a black coach.

I just get tired of all of the indignation and anger, you know? Unlike most white people, I deal with race every day. (More than I would like nowadays, since race is a theme in the production I'm currently doing.) It's frustrating (and interesting) listening to the various comments. My take?

- Michael Richards is an idiot. The "fork" comment he made may actually have been more disturbing to me than his use of an ethnic slur. It's not going to be easy watching Seinfeld reruns from now on.

- Michael Irvin is an idiot. He should be fired because he is an idiot. But I'm so tired of hearing the "it's-a-double-standard-if-he-were-a-white-guy-he-would-have-been-run-out-of-town" line. Let's not talk about double standards, ok? I don't think that's a conversation we want to get into. Oh yeah, and the irony of Irvin's statement? Cowboys QB Tony Romo, the man Irvin was talking about, is half-Mexican. Think "The Playmaker" would have made those comments if he had been aware of that? Again: idiot.

- I actually kind of understand where Larry Johnson is coming from, after reading his comments. Of course it's easier to take orders from someone who has been through some of the same things that you're going through. LJ isn't the most communicative of guys, though, and I think he was trying to take a shot at his previous coach - let's just say that they didn't get along. I think he could have articulated his thoughts a bit better, though.


In the ESPN article, written by LZ Granderson, I see his point. "The n-word" isn't part of my vocabulary, though I have said it (and probably will say it again) when rhyming along with my favorite rappers, on stage, and in front of a camera.

The main thing I think Granderson misses (and what many non-black people miss as well) is the intent behind the use of the word. Most of the time, if a non-black person is using the word, they are using it as an insult, trying to hurt someone. There really shouldn't be anything confusing about that. I think I brought up a lot of these points during my flap with MissFired back in April (it looks like she's taken down her site, to which I say...good riddance), but it's amazing to me how these issues never die...

Thoughts?