i'm trying to upload some pictures for you...

...but, for some reason, Sprint is being ornery. So you'll have to wait for my newest self-portrait. It's really powerful.

Not a lot going on here. The auditions are actually pouring in. I'm supposed to be working on one right now, but I've been procrastinating for about an hour now. I also need to sneak a workout in right now, but my room is so cold...

All right, one more try, and then I've got to exercise...

i can't walk!

I was running some errands in Manhattan, and I kept walking into people. Or I'd do that whole move-in-the-same-direction-as-the-person-who-is-walking-towards-you, following by the triple-feint move. Outstanding.

Apparently, living in Valley City has left me out of shape for city walking. Who knew?

Off to see another movie. Details later.

home again

Back in the casa. SO nice to be here.

I'm a little surprised that I'm happy to be home. I was kind of ambivalent about the whole thing - sure, it's nice to be on vacation, but that means I'm not making any money. And I miss all of my Valley City/Rockport friends, but I've got a lot of peeps in NYC, too.

So now I'm kickin' back with StefStar (who sublet from me, and cleaned the place up better than any sublettor I've ever had) and watching the Steelers beating up on the Ravens, which I'd be enjoying a lot more if our starting QB hadn't gotten hurt a little while ago. (He just came back into the game - thank God.)

It's good to be home.

prepping to go

I'm in the process of packing, while watching "The Blitz" on ESPN's SportsCenter, to catch up on the day in the NFL. I just said good-bye to Trouble and her sidekick, which was a bit sad.

It's kind of surreal that I'm going back to NYC. I went and saw American Gangster tonight, and I kept forgetting where I was. (Great movie, by the way. You should see it.)

But I'm excited to see what comes next. Besides a lot of traveling. Here's my schedule:

NYC next week
San Francisco next weekend for a wedding
NYC for ten days
Rhode Island for Thanksgiving - after last year, you know I'ma be there
NYC for two weeks
Chicago for a few days - not in stone yet
NYC for two weeks
home for Xmas
San Francisco for New Year's - another wedding

Crazy. And I've got a couple of auditions that could change everything.

So I better get used to packing, huh? I guess I should get back to it...

rest for the weary, please

I really like Valley City. It's a great place, clean and beautiful, and I have a lot of great friends here.

But I'm ready to go home.

I think what I'm really ready for is some rest. I worked for 12 weeks this summer, and the month off I had between Rockport and here wasn't so restful - I think I got about five days of actual downtime, when I was visiting my parents.

And all of the shows have been pretty demanding. I haven't been playing big roles the past couple of years, and all three of these I've done this year have been massive. Today was the first time my body stopped responding - I didn't have any vocal power for the last half of the play, and that's a BIG problem.

So I'm looking forward to getting at least a touch of rest, before I start traveling again. I'll post the itinerary later.

3 dates? 1 day?

Is this possible? Legal? I'm not sure if I can technically call them all dates, but I think that all three women are interested in me...

And get this - they're all in their thirties! (OK, I haven't totally changed my ways - I did hang out with Trouble last night.)

The first one is in an hour. This woman MySpaced me a few weeks ago. We've been trying to find a time to meet up, but things keep popping up. I have no idea what to expect. Except that I think I'm a bit too hung over to really enjoy anything on the menu at Chipotle.

The second one is around 2, with Power Broker West. Yes, I know, she has a boyfriend, but... It's an investment in the future. Ginger can back me up on this one. Right?

The third is this evening - she's an Irish girl who works at the theater I'm at. I thought she was cute from the jump, but I didn't get on her radar until a few weeks ago. She likes making fun of me, and for some reason, I'm a sucker for that. And for accents.

(She looks a LOT like a girl I went to college with, who I've had a huge crush on for almost ten years. Is that wrong?)

I got to say, the miser in me is not looking forward to paying for all this. I'll let you know how it goes...

i heart obama

I read a great article about Barack Obama in the NY Times this morning, and I have to share.

It's here. Check it out.

This is the phrase that really got my attention:

The debate [between Clinton and Obama] was “orienting” because it exposed the very different orientations of the two — one toward tough-mindedness and resolve, the other toward transparency and dialogue; the one toward the peril that we face, the other toward opportunities we must explore. How you felt about the debate had to do with how you felt about the world.

He's more liberal than I would usually go, but the more I read about this guy, the more I think he's the answer.

Discuss.

NaBloPoMo

...stands for NAtional BLOg POsting MOnth. (For more info, go here.)

That's right, you're being subjected to another full month of posts from moi. Congrats!

It's going to be difficult, as I'm taking at least three plane flights and two car trips this month. But I'm confident I'll be able to provide you with a few moments of entertainment each day.

With so much posting, I'm sure I'll be needing some inspiration, so feel free to throw some posting ideas my way. Holla!

a life in the theater

First of all, happy birthday to my mom. She's 56 today, and looks 40-ish. I hope I age that well...

Today (well, technically, yesterday) was a strange show day. In my show, I have this dramatic moment in the latter half of the play where I compose myself before rushing offstage. It lasts maybe 5 seconds, but it's just me on stage, and the audience is usually all, "what is he going to do?" and the silence is deafening.

Well, in the matinee, some guy belches HELLA loud, right in the middle of my moment of silence. And you could hear a woman's voice, right after, whisper, "Oh my GOD," like some old guy's being chastised by his wife for disrupting the show. I couldn't help but shoot a dirty look in his direction before leaving the stage - something you're not really supposed to do.

In hindsight, that was hilarious.

I was cruising along during the evening show, and I come off stage for my quick change before the tail end of the show, when all of a sudden I had to go to the bathroom. The last three scenes of the play are each about ten minutes long - and I'm onstage for almost every minute. And my change was too quick to go then.

So I got dressed, and headed to make my entrance. The guy who is in the first of the three scenes (he shares my real name, by the way, which is always confusing during rehearsal) is holding a prop for me, per usual. As I grab the prop and we head backstage, I tell him, "I gotta piss, so I'm going to do this at rain speed."

And I did. We finished 4 minutes early, which is a ton of time to take off a show. But when you gotta go, you gotta go.

Need to sleep - a big day t'm'row!

icky show

Really crappy show tonight. It was horrible. I mean, nothing ridiculous happened (as opposed to last Tuesday, when I completely blanked out in the middle of a scene - nothing scarier than that) but I just felt like I was acting underwater. Not good times.

What makes this especially interesting was that I had one of the best shows of my life on Sunday. I was doing everything right - listening to my fellow actors, actually reacting in the moment, feeling the emotions (but not in an out-of-control way). It was a pretty awesome moment.

But something got lost on the off-day, I guess. It usually does, at least for this show - it's really hard to do that first show of the week, after 50 hours off. I've got two chances t'm'row to make it up, so that's good...

Early bedtime for me tonight. I'm out.

busy busy bee!

Very busy weekend for me, which explains my absence from this spot. A quick recap:

Friday - went up to Rockport to see my friend Big Bird, who helped me shoot an audition. The big theater in Valley City - a place I've wanted to work for years - well, a couple of their people saw the show I'm doing now, and they've asked me to send a tape or DVD to the director of one of their plays. I usually shoot two or three auditions on tape a year, but, of course, I don't own a video camera. So I ended up spending several hours out there getting that done. I was there so long that I wasn't able to drive back to Valley City before my show, so I ended up sitting at a coffee shop for 45 minutes. Then I did my show. Then I hung out with Fred and Ginger.

Saturday - my parents came into town! It was awesome. They LOVE Rockport, so we ended going up there between shows for dinner. They really liked the play, which was nice. After the second show (which my parents and Big Bird and his wife saw) we all went back to Valley City and had drinks at a very loud club with Fred and Ginger.

Sunday - I drove my parents to the airport at an ungodly hour, and I was too tired and hungry to go to sleep. So I did a couple of things around the room, and then headed to a sports bar to watch most of the Steelers-Bengals game (which my team won 24-13 - five and two, baby!). Then I did my show. After the show, I got dressed as fast as humanly possible and drove to Valley City, because several of my friends were doing a play that ended 30 minutes after mine ended. It was great. After the show, I grabbed some dinner and figured that I was going to crash on the couch for the rest of the night...but Trouble called and invited me up to Rockport to carve some pumpkins. I hadn't done that in forever, so I headed up there, and it was lots of fun.

Today - I worked on putting the damn DVD together all day. I was only expecting it to take a couple of hours, but I didn't finish up until halftime of the Monday Night Football game. My computer was being weird, which kind of scares me. Bad times. I did get a lot of internet-type stuff done today, so that was good.

So now I can relax, and I'm probably going to do something that I've been putting off for a while - assembling a Facebook profile. Several friends have been bugging me to do this for a while. I had thought that I was too old for Facebook, but now that some of my late-30s friends are joining, I really have no excuse. So I guess I'm taking the plunge.

Back tomorrow with more. I'm back in New York one week from tonight...

PBW report

Not much to tell, actually. We had a great time. We were together for two hours and I don't think there was a single lull in the conversation.

She's really awesome - and she also seems to realize that the guy she's with isn't the answer for her. That's promising... I think that we would make a great couple. Ginger keeps saying that we would have beautiful children.

But the reality is that she lives in Valley City, and I live in New York. And even though there's a very good chance that I could be doing a job or two in Valley City/Rockport a year, that's just not enough time for me. And, as much as I love this region - I think I could be very happy living here, and may think seriously about relocating when I'm done with NY - I'm still very ambitious career-wise, and I just can't get it done here.

She's a classy lady, though. I definitely dig her.

Power Broker West

Remember, back at Xmas, when I met the Power Broker? It was a whirlwind few weeks, culminating with her telling me about her almost-boyfriend. (I'm still kinda-sorta e-mailing her, but communication has kind of fizzled once I left the city for the summer and started dating Snapple.)

Well, I've met a similar woman who generates almost as much excitement. I met her last year, at my friend Ginger's wedding. Ginger had literally been telling me about her for years, and I was always like, "Yeah, yeah," but I was really impressed when I met her. So we've been e-mailing back and forth for the past year. She lives in Valley City, so I hung out with her a bit this summer while I was in Rockport.

The reason you never heard about this? She has a boyfriend - met him the day after Ginger's wedding - go figure. And, at the time I met her, I was kind of dating Maxine, and I wasn't interested in the long distance thing - and then I met the Power Broker. So Power Broker West (they are really kind of similiar people, and they work in similiar fields) was kind of on the back burner.

But lately, PBW has been showing interest in The Rover. (Which he welcomes.) Ginger and her husband, Fred (you knew that was coming) really don't like PBW's boyfriend - he's a nice guy, but apparently gets verbally abusive when he drinks, and he takes passive-aggressive shots at her in public, and she really doesn't seem to like him that much - it's just not a good fit - and they've been talking me up. The four of us have hung out a few times, and it's always a blast. After a function a couple of weeks ago, PBW mentioned to Ginger how great she thought I was. And I realized that I've never hung out with just her.

So, on Wednesday, before my show, we're having dinner.

But she hasn't mentioned it at all to Ginger. And didn't mention it at all when the gang got together this weekend. Hmmm...

She's a total keeper. I mean, for reals. Smart, and funny, and interesting, and fun, and gorgeous. And if she were interested in me...well, I would have to try and get more work in Valley City or Rockport.

But she has a boyfriend. And doesn't live in NY. So...I don't know.

I've decided just to go out and have a good time, and get to know her better, and see what happens. No other expectations. I'll keep you posted...

7 randoms

So Hot Librarian tagged me the other day. I had kind of a busy weekend, so I'm just getting around to it now. The rules:

1. Link to your tagger and post rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself, some random and some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of post and list their names.
4. Let them know they were tagged by a comment on their blog.

Very complicated. All right, let's see what I can scrounge up.

1. I used to be a serious fingernail-biter. I've mostly kicked the habit, but if I've got a hangnail, chances are good it's coming off. Although I might pull it off now, instead of chewing on it.

(Gross. I'm sure you're really looking forward to my next 6. I promise it won't be as bad.)

2. If I had my way, I would spend every fall afternoon doing nothing but watching football. When I was younger, I used to decline phone calls so I could watch my games undisturbed. I'm much more flexible than that now, but I do love a lazy Sunday watching the NFL. Maybe that's why I don't have a girlfriend...

3. I have a 32 oz green Nalgene water bottle that travels with me everywhere I go. I usually try to drink two full bottles of water a day, but as of late I've been slacking off.

4. I have an amazing amount of debt. Most of it's for school, which is saying something, because I didn't pay for undergrad. I think the total amount I owe is in the ballpark of $80,000. This is especially hilarious given how much money I usually make in a year...

5. I balance my checkbook religiously, at least twice a week. And, for the past two years, I've kept track of every single cent that I've spent. Gotta justify it for tax time, but it really does something for your fiscal discipline to look at what you spend your money on.

6. I am a phone person. I probably spend 10-15 hours a week on the phone. I talk to my brother 4 or 5 times a week, my parents and Maxine twice, the Brooklyn Squirrel two or three times, and then I generally try to catch up with someone at some point. This means that I have to charge my cell phone a lot.

7. I have abnormally muscular calves.

Seven people to tag? Hmmm...let's see...

1. Desperate Husband.
2. So Gone.
3. Mermaid Girl (glad you're ok).
4. Melissa.
5. Urbanblight.
6. Wyntir.
7. Belle Chanson.

broke

I'm really tired of not having any money.

It's not like I'm asking to buy a house with a swimming pool or anything. I just want to be able to buy stamps without thinking about it, or not freak out when I find out I've mistakenly paid the wrong credit card (which happened today - thankfully the good people at Bank of America are quite helpful).

As much as I love my job, there are some days where I don't think I can do this much longer. Not because I don't get enjoyment from what I'm doing, but because it's SO difficult to pay the bills and student loans.

Maybe I should set up one of those websites where I solicit cash from people to pay my debts. Or, maybe, I'll finally find that sugar mama I've been looking for all of these years...

In the meantime, I just have to keep plowing away, eating dinners at home and settling for only one drink at the bar instead of two. I'll make it one of these days, right?

still guilty

I seriously want an answer to this question: when will I stop feeling bad about the Snapple thing?

I spoke to a mutual friend of ours tonight, who told me that I needed to stop talking to her - a decision that I came to on my own four or five days ago, after a particularly uncomfortable conversation. Our friend said something to the effect of, "I know that you liked her, and cared about her, and you're a good guy, so when you talk to her and you say nice things - that's all she hears."

And, in the "irony of ironies" department, she's flying in to Valley City (bound for a job in Rockport) on the very day that I leave (which was why we had the last conversation).

I don't know I guess I feel bad because I do like her, but my actions have made it clear that I don't care about her enough to be a boyfriend. And while it would have been much easier to let her come and visit me, and keep things going, in my heart of hearts I would hate myself, because it all would have been a lie. And, as I learned with Lil' Bit, it's much better to nip things in the bud than to have her go crazy and try to buy plane tickets without consulting with you first.

Anyway, is this normal? Should I be feeling this bad about things three weeks after the fact?

um...what?

Did any of you see this article?

Please read it.

Apparently, Dick Cheney and Barack Obama are...related.

Yeah.

I can't believe it either.

I don't know what to say.

blah

Wow. I have no energy and no motivation. I really should go over to the little hotel gym and hit the treadmill for half an hour or so (I had Popeye's chicken last night, and that isn't going to go away on its own), but I really just want to sit around here and do nothing.

Maybe it's 'cause I had such an exciting weekend.

It was really awesome having the ladies here. Next to my parents and brother, they are the people I'm closest to in the world, and I was really happy that they were able to spend four days out here, and see my show, and just generally hang out. Even though we only live 20 minutes away from each other in Brooklyn, I feel like we don't always get that much quality time. And I've been a bit lonely here. So it was really great.

I think things with Maxine and I are ok. We talked about it briefly on Sunday. I know that it was a stupid thing to do, but I wasn't trying to be mean or cruel or anything, and she understands that, I think. I'm having a whole lot of other thoughts about that whole situation, but I think I need to keep them to myself until I have a clearer grasp on what's going on here.

That's all for now. Key is forthcoming, I promise. Right now...time for lunch.

oh, shit

Mortified this morning.

Maxine and our friend (henceforth to be known as The Brooklyn Squirrel) came into town for a wedding. They got here on Thursday, and so far everything has been great.

But last night (at the after-reception), I got a little too tanked and blabbed a little too much to Maxine.

Let me make this perfectly clear. I don't regret what I said - I said what I feel, and it was true. I just shouldn't have brought it up at that time. She's happy with her life, and I shouldn't interfere in that. And it's never cool to make a wedding all about you and your feelings - you're supposed to be celebrating the union of others, and seeing old friends, etc.

Essentially, this is what happened. We've been talking all weekend about the potential of us getting back together, how we get a smidge jealous when one of us is dating, etc. So that's been in the air. And we've seen a lot of people that we used to know, and it kind of takes you back, you know? So when I showed up after my show last night, I kept joking, "We really should get married." I guess it wasn't funny the fourth time, at 2am, because she kind of called me on it. And I told her that I wasn't really joking. And I made her cry.

So, I'm mortified.

rant coming

There are a dozen or so big regional theaters in America, and I would like to work at all of them. There's one in particular that I keep flirting with. I send them love notes (headshots), they ask me out on a date (audition). Sometimes I have other plans (I'm working). Once we actually went out, it was great, we made out a bit, but it was nothing serious (callback, no job).

(Do you like my metaphor?)

Anyway, I've known the casting director for years. I know she likes me, and we keep trying to make something happen, but the timing's always off.

This year, though, I have an ace in the hole. The woman who directed the play I'm in now is also directing at this theater in the summer. That, combined with the fact that I'll be back in New York in four weeks, had me in great shape. I figured, I go back to the city, I'll audition for them in November, and voila! I'll have more gainful employment. And, trust me, if I go to this theater, you're gonna want to hear ALL about my adventures there.

So what happens?

I get a message on my phone this morning, "Hi Rover, this is the Casting Director's Assistant. Can you come audition for us in New York on October 24?"

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

When I called them to see if there were other possibilities (like, could I send them a tape?), CDA said, "Well, you can audition in Chicago in December, or LA in January..."

Sigh.

That sounds great. Then I can lay out money for an audition for a job that, statistically, I have a slim shot at getting! Wonderful!

I hate this process sometimes.

coming soon

Yeah, yeah, you're getting a lot of posts from me in an extremely short period of time. Whoop-de-damn-do.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm getting close to posting something that many of you have been asking for for a while now - a key! That way you can keep track of the places I've been, and the ladies I've...whatever...with. (If you need a real-life translation, well, that's another story.)

I'm hoping to get it up (heh heh) by Thursday afternoon, but if I don't, it won't go up until next week, because Maxine and my other friend are staying with me this weekend, and since she doesn't know where exactly this blog is located, I'm not going to help her by posting while she's here. Unless I sneak down to the hotel lobby or something.

Let me know if there are any other requests...going to sleep now...

some friendly advice

To the family that sat in the front row of my show tonight:

Thanks for coming out to support live theater, folks. Really, we appreciate it. But, can I make a suggestion for next time? Three, actually:

1. Don't bring ten year olds to play with adult and sophisicated subject matter. It's just going to bore them.

2. If you must bring your child, don't sit in the front row. He's going to be bored, and he's going to be restless, and you're gonna have to explain things to him, and it's kind of distracting to the actors. Especially if they're facing in your direction for an entire scene.

3. This is for the lady sitting next to the child. If you're going to sit in the front row, you might want to try not rocking back and forth and talking so much. See point #2.

Thank you for listening. I must also tell you, Mr. Ten Year Old, that you yelling, "You were great! What a great show!" was very, very cute. And almost made me forget how annoying and distracting you were.

win a shot with tila tequila

...may be my new favorite show.

I love MTV.

Anyone else feeling this?

i don't normally do this

I don't have a specific number of people that read this blog on a regular or semi-regular basis. I know that the number is between 10 and 100. Some of them I know, and some of them I don't. But I have a sneaking suspicion that many of you are like me:

young (under 35)
college-educated and/or intellectually curious
not rich/saddled with debt, school or otherwise
working to create the best life possible for yourself

(if not, that's ok - keep reading, please)

I just finished a fantastic book, called The Trap: Selling Out to Stay Afloat in Winner-Take-All America, by Daniel Brook, and I have to say that it's one of the most brilliant books I've ever read. (It ranks right up there with Cornel West's "Race Matters", which I think should be recommended reading for all Americans.) It basically takes on what I call the John Edwards conundrum - you know, Two Americas?

You should read this book if you've ever had the following questions:

Why do I have to choose between doing what I love and making a viable salary?
Why is it so hard to find affordable housing in my city?
Why do I feel as if I can't ever make a difference?

This book challenges some closely held conservative ideals, so some of it might be hard to stomach for those of you on the right side of the political spectrum, but I urge you to read it nonetheless. I'd really like to hear some feedback from people, positive or negative, so if you get a chance to check this out (it's less than 200 pages), please share with me your unvarnished opinions.

And thanks to the young woman who recommended this to me...I'm still searching for an appropriate blog name for you...

history

For the first time in recent memory, I did not go out on a Friday OR a Saturday night.

Both nights, I came home from my show - it's short, so we get back around 9:30 - and did nothing. Sat around watching playoff baseball and college football. Continued reading a really great book a friend gave me back in June (more on that later). Set up my humidifier, because turning the heat on in my room dries me out.

Am I turning into an old man? Is this what happens to you when you hit your 30s? Please tell me this is just a phase...

YOOOOOUUUU!

If you've listened to any urban radio the past month, you've probably heard Soulja Boy Tell 'Em's "Crank That". It's kind of the new hotness. I was first introduced to it by my homegirl HCIC, who's generally ahead of the curve on a lot of things.

Anyway, I've really been into watching video mash-ups of this song - they're kind of hilarious. HCIC has a couple of them on her page (I love watching the University of Miami Ibis doing the Soulja Boy dance), but my favorite is this:



Consider this your hip hop lesson for the day. Your homework assignment is to learn the Soulja Boy dance. Enjoy.

for you

My director gave me this for our show opening. I thought it was really nice, and I decided to share it.

PROMISE YOURSELF

to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

to talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

to make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

to look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

to think only of the best.
to work only for the best.
and to expect only the best.

to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

to forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

to wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

to give so much to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticise others.

to be too large to worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

to think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words, but in great deeds.

to live in the faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

who i look like, supposedly

All right, I finally gave in and did this thing. I did, like, half a dozen pictures, but this was the result I like best. Two notable things:

1. Apparently, I look like a girl.

2. Alicia Keys and I look dramatically alike, apparently, because she popped up on almost every picture. Does that mean I can't marry her? Natalie Imbruglia showed up a lot, too.



Agree? Disagree? Anyone else?

playoff baseball!

I just want to say that I LOVE playoff baseball.

I used to be a big fan when I was a kid - I played for ten years, and I was a pretty good player - but the strike in '94 ended most of my devotion. (That, and the fact that the Pirates have been pathetic for 15 years.) However, watching the playoffs is a different story. The fans are going crazy, and every play means something - it's really tremendous.

I bring this up because I watched a fantastic game tonight. The Colorado Rockies (a team I have a soft spot for, due to a summer I spent in Denver about a decade ago) beat the San Diego Padres 9-8 in 13 innings. It was everything a fan could hope for - teams going back and forth, home runs, improbably comebacks, a raucous crowd - very satisfying. Unless you're a Padres fan.

In case anyone's interested, I see a Yankees-D'backs rematch in the Series.

it's been one busy month

Well, I made it to the end of September. And I made a lot of posts. Hope you've liked reading them.

I've gotten feedback from a couple of you that I need to be posting more often, that you like the daily updates, so I'll try to oblige as much as possible. I've still got five weeks left in Valley City, and I'm not really going to be doing a whole lot; therefore, chances are good that frequent entries will continue.

Today was a pretty lazy day - I laid around and watched football and followed baseball games on the computer. Then I went and did a hideous run of the show - you win some, you lose some. I think one of the reasons I was so tired is that I partied with Trouble last night. We had an interesting exchange last night:

TROUBLE: God, my hair just looks terrible. My highlights haven't grown out yet - it looks horrible.

ME: Well, I have a confession to make. I lie awake at night, thinking about your highlights.

TROUBLE: Great. Well, actually, I have a confession to make, too. A real one.

ME: Okay...

TROUBLE: So, I've kind of started dating (her old RA).

ME: Okay. So, does that mean that nothing's happening with us?

TROUBLE: Probably not.

ME: All right.

TROUBLE: You know, I just think he's a better option for me, since he's not leaving in a month.

ME: True.

TROUBLE: Of course, I'm moving in six months...so I don't know.


Then she proceeded to flirt with me all night. Don't you just love the kids? It's ok. She's really hot, but I'm kind of enjoying my absolute freedom now. I like not really having any prospects. Besides, I still feel really bad about the Snapple thing.

Enough from me. I'm going to check up on some blogs (I'm currently obsessed with the archives of One D At A Time, which you should definitely NOT read at work) and then hit the sack.

thisclose

Damn, missed the Friday deadline by half an hour! That totally sucks. I meant to blog earlier in the day, but I was feeling kind of strange. My description was: "Either I've got a buzz, or someone just punched me in the head." Still not sure why I felt weird, but I'm better now.

Had our first paying audience tonight, and things went pretty well. I think this role is totally in my wheelhouse, and I'm excited to slip into it for a few weeks. I'm curious as to how people will receive it.

That's all I've got for now. More tomorrow (well, technically, today).

breaking up is hard to do

Damn.

I was just on the phone with Snapple for an hour and thirty-eight minutes (I checked when I finally hung up). That comes after spending an hour on this phone with her during my dinner break. But, the split is official.

She was supposed to come out here next week, and I told her that I didn't think it was a good idea. That was kind of the basis for this move - I didn't want to have her out here for five days if I was feeling lukewarm about the whole thing.

It just comes down to the fact that she's not the girl for me, even though she treats me well, is nice to me, etc. But she just doesn't understand. She kept saying that it wasn't exclusive, and she wasn't putting pressure on me, and that we have a good time together, so why would it stop? And then I would ask, "So, even though I don't see any future with us, you still want to date?" And then she usually would respond with, "I just want you to give us a chance!"

This is why it was so frustrating.

And so now I feel like shit. She's really great, and I feel really bad about this. I guess I need to know that I did the right thing...because, right now, I'm just not sure.

wow

I tried breaking things off with Snapple.

It's not going so well.

She's not taking no for an answer.

I'll update this later tonight.

silliness

I just got home, so I'm just making my blogging deadline. I did have time to change into pajama pants and a clean t-shirt, so now I'm all comfortable. My other outfit smelled like the turkey burgers I made for dinner - don't you hate when you reek of your dinner all night?

I just realized that I've been goofier than normal lately. Not in an obnoxious way, but I seem to be cracking more jokes. It's probably because I'm playing a character who is totally reserved, repressed, and "by the book", and spending so much time in that skin makes you want to do the opposite when you get out.

Anyway, I like my silly streak. It runs in the family. And it's a prerequisite for any potential Mrs. Rover that she possess such a trait.

Off to bed. I've been sleeping like crap lately - maybe tonight I can actually get to bed at a decent hour and sleep for a while...

good times/bad times

Nothing too exciting to report tonight. I had one of the worst runthroughs of my life this afternoon - I literally thought I was going to fall asleep on stage. (I think I didn't get enough sleep because the cleaning woman tried to come into my room at 8:50 in the morning.) But tonight's run was a million times better.

The only dicey thing was that I hurt my throat a little bit in one of my big scenes. So I'm not doing a lot of talking tonight. I'll probably just stay up a bit longer to see what happens in the wild card race (baseball) and then hit the sack. No rehearsal 'til 2 t'm'row...I'm excited...

new phone!

I've been fighting Sprint for most of the weekend - it's been horrible. Basically, they replaced my phone last Monday...with a refurbished phone...with the same problem. Needless to say, I was not happy.

This was my old phone:



After a weekend of wheedling and cajoling and stomping my feet, Spring finally did right by me and gave me a sizable credit to put towards a new phone. So...I got THIS:




Much better. Now I can actually have conversation without fear of my phone cutting off. Huzzah!

Sometimes it's the little things, people.

Now to sit down and go through the instruction book so I can figure this thing out...

TV recommendations

I'm kind of a closet TV fan. There's a lot of crap on nowadays, but occasionally I'll watch something that catches my fancy. Here are a handful of things on my radar:

THE WAR: This is on my television as I type this. Everyone below the age of 35 probably watched part of Ken Burns' The Civil War. If you didn't like that, well...I really don't know what to say to you. But, if you did...this is better.

CHUCK: NBC is pumping out a lot of shows that are similiar to Heroes (why is it so hard to come up with an original idea in Hollywood?). This really isn't one of them; it's kind of an action-comedy. And it's pretty good. The lead guy, Zachary Levi, is probably going to become a star.

KITCHEN NIGHTMARES: No one does trashy reality TV like Fox. This time they've taken their general sleazy methods and applied it to something not-so-dicey - fixing up failing and floundering restaurants. And it's utterly delicious. You've got to see the first episode - priceless.

NFL FOOTBALL: Seriously, are you surprised this is on here? If you are, you obviously don't know me very well.

Rover loses his cool

I got off the phone with Snapple about 20 minutes ago.

It took me that long to calm down.

See, here's the thing about that "relationship": when I'm with her, I have a great time - she's fun, and she's cute, and the sex is great, and she likes football and video games, and I can't gross her out. But when I'm not with her, I basically don't think about her. And, on top of that, I want to make out with other girls.

I've been really honest with her about that (and let me be clear: I realize this isn't the best thing to hear, and everybody reacts differently), but every time we try to have a discussion about this, one of two things happens:

1. She tries really hard to convince me that we should give this a shot. "Well, if we like each other, and we have fun together, why wouldn't we try?"

2. She goes negative. "Was anything you said to me ever true?" "So, am I just a piece of meat to you?" "I thought you were different from the other guys, but I guess I was wrong."

It was the last comment tonight that sent me off the deep end. My response went something like this:

"JESUS CHRIST, Snapple, you always do this. You always bounce to the extreme! Not everything is black and white! I don't hate you, I'm not trying to disrespect you, I'm not trying just to fuck you. But I'm not in love with you, and I don't want you to be my girlfriend, either. It's in between. Sometimes things are in the middle!"

You know I'm upset when I take the Lord's name in vain. (And I'm sorry for it.)

Yes, I know, not the smoothest thing I've ever said. But I had had it. The line was quiet for a minute, and then she said, "I have to go. Good night."

So...I guess we'll see what happens next. Thoughts?

party details

Ummmmm...I got drunk.

Trouble...well, she lived up to her nickname. I'll explain later.

The bar was cool. I saw a lot of friends from the summer in Rockport, which was cool. I didn't end up paying anything, which was cool.

And...I got drunk.

My hangover is surprising mild, considering what I drank. (I had at least two shots, and I don't know how many beers.) It was postponed somewhat when I got a call from DirecTV (long story) and my cell phone started acting up, but it's coming up now - just as I have to go to work. Of course.

dirty thirty

I'm 30.

Wow.

I went on my MySpace page today, and looked at the number, and I couldn't believe it.

It's not that I have a problem being thirty, because I've kind of been looking forward to it for a while. (One of my friends, two or three years ago, told me that I would be looking forward to it, and I was like, "Yeah, right." I'd like to officially apologize to him here. You were right.)

I just don't know where the time went. It just seems like yesterday I was in high school, and now I'm here. It's kind of amazing. Does time ever slow down?

Anyway, I'm having a fantastic birthday celebration tonight - I have several friends in Valley City; one shares my birthday, one was born on the 22nd, and the other two have birthdays right around this time. So we're all having a huge joint b-day party tonight. And...no rehearsal! I'll try to give you a full report tomorrow...

the streak ends

I didn't get a post up yesterday, which totally sucks.

I do have an excuse, though.

I was working in the morning before rehearsal. I planned on coming back and writing at night. I got home at nine thirty and, because one of my friends had called me on my drive home, decided to return her call before doing anything else.

It turns out that she and her husband had gotten into an accident, and their car was totaled. She sounded pretty shook up, so I hustled down there. The car had gotten hit in a parking garage, so in addition to trying to find a tow truck and talk to their insurance carrier, they also had to direct traffic so that no one else would hit their car (which was kind of in the middle of the aisle, and not drivable).

It took two hours for everything to get squared away. Then I drove them home. They live in Rockport, which is about 30 minutes away. I dropped them off, got a bottle of water, and headed back to the car.

The clock said 11:55. I knew I was screwed. So I called Trouble (who lives on the outskirts of Rockport) and went over to her house and had a beer, 'cause I needed one at that point - it had been a long day. And then came home.

I'm disappointed that I didn't keep my streak alive, but I'm going to keep plugging away, and post every day for the rest of the month. I suppose that the accomplishment of writing every day is more important than actually punching the time clock, every single day.

But, damn, it would have been nice.

weirdness weirdness everywhere

I was thinking the other day, "Wow, there's nobody to write about here." The cast of my show is rather small, and I've known the director for years, and everyone is really nice. Not a dash of weirdness among them.

Then...I had a costume fitting today.

One of the women was one of those types who just can't stop talking, you know? This woman must have given me 15 different exit lines, only to turn around and start talking about something else. I just wanted her to leave the room so I could change my pants!

The other one was a piece of work. She's really hot (she kind of resembles a blogger friend of mine), but she kept talking over the blabbermouth, throwing out random comments about how good I looked in my costume, and how she had decided previously that she had a crush on my character. Part of me was saying, "Yes!", but the louder part was saying, "Run!"

At least my clothes fit.

I'm exhausted - time for bed. More tomorrow, my last day of being in my twenties...

such a tight schedule

So I'm rehearsing these days from 1-9:30pm. I generally assume that, because I'm on stage virtually the entire show, I'm going to be exhausted and worthless when I come home. So I've got to get everything done before I go. Working backward...

- I have to leave the "house" by 12:30

- I need to be in the shower by 12 (so I have time to make food - I'm really trying to save money anywhere I can and, therefore, I'm trying not to eat out)

- I've got to be in the hotel's little workout room by 11

- This morning (and most mornings before we open), I've got to do some research for the show, which means I have to start that around 10

So...if I want any quality internet time - which is a must, especially when you're trying to blog every day - I've got to get up around 8:45 in the morning. And, in case I haven't mentioned this before, The Rover is not a morning person.

The good part is that I only have two weeks of rehearsal left. Once October hits, I'll have a lot more free time.

Almost time to research...

hotel livin'

So, I don't know if I've mentioned this yet, but I'm living in a hotel. Again.

This one is WAY classier than the last one. Full kitchen, huge living space, plenty of closets. It's actually bigger than the studio apartment I lived in back in Sleepy Hamlet. And they've got a little weight room, and complementary breakfast every morning (not just donuts and coffee, but eggs and cereal and sausage and waffles...awesome), and a happy hour four nights a week. Plus I'm living about ninety seconds away from downtown Valley City. So...it's a sweet set-up.

The only complaint I have is TV. Why won't hotels give you (a) TVs with AV ports (those red-yellow-and-white plugs/holes) or (b) VCRs or DVRs? I mean, how hard would it be? VCRs cost, like, ten dollars nowadays. Ridiculous. I'm rehearsing 1-10 on Sundays, meaning that I miss lots of football. It would be so great if I could just record something and watch it later - like I was able to do at the mansion in Cowtown.

I shouldn't complain. I'm very lucky to be able to do what I do, and get paid large sums of money to do it. And the digs are great. You know how it is...

Think I'm going to head to one of those happy hours and see if I can steal some food.

scattered notes from a scattered guy

Sorry about the crappy posts the last couple of days. It's been a whirlwind of activity. And it's going to get worse - we have an insanely short rehearsal process, so I'm going to be working my ass off for the next week.

But...it's all good 'cause I'm doing what I love.

Some random thoughts:

- Went to Rockport last night to hang out with some old friends, including a girl I'll call Trouble. Why? Because...she's trouble. Anyway, this dude was all over her (she usually has guys all over her) and she was trying to explain to him why he wasn't going to sleep in her bed, and he kept trying to convince her. Why do guys do that?

- In a similiar story, The Hot Wing was telling me about this guy who sent her a text message basically saying, "I think you're hot. I think your roommate's hot. I'd like to go out with either one of you that's more into me." How pathetic is that? What is wrong with guys?

- I stayed out WAY too late last night. I'm going to be running on fumes. I've promised myself that I was going out only twice before we get this show up. And I'm totally regretting that decision right now.

- I don't have a VCR in my room. So I'm going to miss a lot of football today. :-(

All right. Shower or sleep. Then work.

another cheap post...

...because I just got done with rehearsal, and now I have to make the half-hour long drive to Rockport to see some friends.

But I'm here!

A real post tomorrow, I promise...

arrived!

Safe and sound in Valley City. More later.

(I know this is cheating; I just want to make sure I get something up before midnight.

checklist

Wow, dudes, so much crap to get done. Here's the remainder of my to-do list:

- checks for (my roommate)
- pack toiletries
- call hotel
- pack computer bag
- call SF hotels (for weddings in Nov and Dec)
- car service
- balance checkbook

You know what? I don't want to do any of those things.

I want to sit on my couch and do absolutely nothing.

(sigh)

All right, I'll get to it. See you kids on the flip side, from somewhere in middle America...

leaving AGAIN

Just put up yesterday's post. I was crazy busy all day, and had zero computer time. But I did write something (see below). So...that counts, right?

The reality of heading out soon is finally staring me in the face. I just packed up a big plastic bin of my shit, which UPS will pick up at some point tomorrow afternoon - hopefully it shows up at my hotel in the middle of next week.

(I actually found out that instead of staying in The Burbs, where the theater is, I'm actually staying in Valley City, which is the big brother of Rockport - where I spent my summer. So I am a very happy camper right now.)

Part of me is really sad to leave the BK - it's been nice being home, if only for a minute. But I've really felt adrift here - rarely sleeping in the same place two nights in a row - so it will be nice having my own place for a few weeks.

Off to see Maxine do some street theater. More t'm'row - for reals this time.

audition woes

I was really annoyed by myself before; now I've calmed down.

Somewhat.

I totally blew an audition today.

I ran through my pieces in my apartment, and they were good. Really good. But I only left myself 5 minutes to play with, and I lost a whole lot more than that, due to a sick passenger on my subway line. So I showed up ten minutes late, sweating buckets and completely frazzled. And, like an idiot, I didn't take the extra time offered me by the monitor. Instead, I said, "Sure, I'm ready!" and marched in.

It wasn't that my audition was so bad (it probably rated a B) as much as it could really have been great I guess you just chalk this up as a learning experience - and vow not to make the same mistake again.

One other thing I must admit. While this entry is being written on Tuesday evening, I'm writing it longhand in my notebook, because I don't think I'm going to get any computer time today (long story). Does it still count as an entry, or have I failed my task? I leave it up to you to decide...

time is running out!

I leave on Friday morning for The Burbs (the location of my next show), and I'm no where near ready.

I still need to pack, and learn lines, and see people, and get my apartment in order...aaarrrrrgggghhhh.

There just aren't enough hours in the day. Of course, it didn't help matters that I spent four hours with Maxine today. I mean, it was quality time, and we really hadn't hung out all that much. But, still...

Half hour 'til the Monday Night Football doubleheader. The perfect ending to the first weekend of football...

quote of the day

I'm walking to get some food with my friend (who doesn't have a F&G name yet, but will). We're walking next to each other. From the other direction comes an older black lady, probably in her 60s. She looked at me - I was wearing shorts - and said to my friend:

"I don't want to disrespect you, ma'am, but your husband has got some beautiful legs!"

Obviously, my mojo is unstoppable.

party! (and my partyin' past)

I'm throwing myself a birthday party tonight.

I always kind of wish I had someone to throw the party for me, or someone to have the party with. For some reason, I always feel a little pathetic, throwing it for myself. But I had to soldier on, because I have a long and illustrious history of birthday parties:

In grad school, I had huge blowouts my last two years, which also doubled as "welcome back to school" jams.

The three years I spent in Sleepy Hamlet I always had joint parties with a couple of my friends, who have birthdays within ten days of mine.

Last year, I threw together a last-minute thing...with disasterous results.

This year, things are going much more smoothly. I did an e-vite, for one thing, which was brilliant. I reserved some space at a trendy SoHo bar, and one of my dear friends is buying me a cake, or cupcakes (whatever the bakery has). I had to promise the bar that I would buy $100 worth of drinks (and give them my credit card number), but I think we should be able to handle that one.

So it should be good times. I'll give you a full report tomorrow...

my "ideal" BK 'hood is...

My roommate and I are thinking about moving. I'm pretty loyal to the BK, so I know I want to stay here. She took a little quiz on her website about where she should like, and I decided to do the same. I find these things kind of fascinating.

(By the way - can anybody help me fix this? I'm tired of my picture/quiz posts looking all retarded.)

You scored as Boerum Hill/Cobble Hill/Carroll Gardens, You should live in Boerum Hill, Cobble Hill, or Carroll Gardens! Don't go to the broker who bills it as BoCoCa -- he is trying to rip you off! These neighborhoods are lovely places for 30 somethings who are a little more settled, and have a little more income to pay the rent and eat out at great restaurants. There are plenty of places for you to drink your beloved microbrews, but when you want to indulge your hipster side, you can still grab a PBR at Brooklyn's only landlocked yacht club. Get it? It's ironic. Boerum Hill/Cobble Hill/Carroll Gardens 73% Prospect Heights 73% Coney Island 70% Fort Greene 67% Redhook 60% Sunset Park 57% Greenpoint 53% Williamsburg 53% Brooklyn Heights 43% DUMBO 40% Navy Yard/Clinton Hill/Bed-Stuy north 37% Park Slope 36% East Williamsburg/ 33% Manhattan 13% What Brooklyn Neighborhood Should You Live In? created with QuizFarm.com

More later.

it's the most wonderful time of the year

The NFL kicks off another season in less than an hour.

I'm so excited!

Football is something that I love so much. It's been a part of my life since I was a little kid. I remember watching games with my dad, playing in the yard, practing goal-line stands with my brother and our living room couch. Oddly enough, I never played (my mother was strongly opposed), although I did practice with a club team in college (I played FB and CB) and played lots of flag football.

I always think that, if I were forced to quit acting tomorrow, I would have to do something that involved football.

Anyway, I fully expect the Colts to win tonight. But I wouldn't be shocked if the Saints end up being the better team.

Oh yeah - this is just an appetizer. I fully intend to spend all day Sunday in front of my television - much to the chagrin of my roommates, I'm sure.

spiders!

There were lots of them, in my room.

My sublettor (StefStar) has many, many bites on her legs.

So, I threw away the mattress pad. I vacuumed the entire room. I washed the sheets in hot water. I dropped off the blankets to be cleaned. I shut the window, which, I suspect, is how the spiders got in the room in the first place.

The super is supposed to be calling the exterminator.

Hopefully, that's enough. I'm exhausted.

who? what? where?

Drinks last night with The Hot Wing last night - she's my Brooklyn drinking buddy, and a semi-regular reader of this blog. It's always nice to have someone who will enable your drinking habits living just a few blocks away from you. Good times.

One of the things that she - and others - have mentioned is that I may need to make some kind of key so that you can keep all of "my ladies" straight. So that may be a project for me at some point in the near future. Thoughts on that?

I'm really scattered these days. I can't seem to find enough time to do all of the things that I want to do. It's kind of annoying. Maybe I just need to take a couple more days and not leave my house. (Actually, that will happen on Sunday, because it's the first full day of football.)

Got to run some errands, so this will be a short post. Cross your fingers and hope that my agent isn't in a pissy mood.

Labor Day sans labor pour moi

Had a very nice evening with Snapple last night. I hadn't seen her in two weeks, and I was surprised to discover that I missed her, a bit. My favorite part of the evening (aside from the fact that she was genuinely interested in my fantasy football draft) was that we didn't talk about "relationships" at all. No updates on where we stand, no talking about feelings...it was good.

Right now I'm procrastinating. I need to secure a bar for my birthday party on Saturday night, but I'm kind of split between two places, and I don't know which one to call first. I keep telling myself that none of the reservation people would be around on Labor Day, or that I should charge my cell phone before calling anyone, but I think that these are excuses.

I'm also putting off:

- balancing my checkbook
- exercising
- grocery shopping
- learning lines
- returning phone calls

If procrastination was a sport, I would win a gold medal.

Until t'm'row...

failure

That's me, because I didn't get a blog post up yesterday. In my defense, I spent seven hours in a car, then had to unpack, then ate dinner with my folks and roommate, and then went to a party at Maxine's house (more on that in a bit). And I was running on five hours sleep.

So I still want to do this "30 in 30 for my 30" - let's consider this my first official post. To make up for yesterday, I'll either (a) blog twice in one day, or (b) make an entry on October 1. Deal? Sweet.

Now - thoughts from last night's party:

- I'm fascinated by girls who make out with other girls. That could be a whole post in itself. And I don't mean in a juvenile, gross, "Oooh, they're making out!" kind of way (although I'm sure some of that exists), but in a more intellectual-type way. Know what I mean?

- Ever start dancing with someone, and you guys are being respectful, "leaving room for Jesus" and all that, and then you get closer, and then start grinding a bit - and then all of a sudden it's more than grinding? Not that you're kissing or anything, but if you were by yourselves, and you were naked, you'd totally be having sex? It's always quite an astonishing moment when it happens. Then, just as quickly, the moment's gone, or the song ends, and it's back to normal.

I had one of those last night.

- The highlight (actually, the lowlight) of the evening was seeing Maxine disappear into her bedroom at 4:30am with another guy. We've been officially broken up for almost two years, and realistically apart for almost a full year, and we talk with each other all of the time about who we're dating and how we feel about them and what's happening, etc., etc. But this is the first time I've actually seen her with someone else.

It wasn't fun.

I didn't sleep all that great. Of course, I slept on a couch, and I slept for less than four hours, so that might have something to do with it. Or...maybe not.

Off to have breakfast with my fam.

bagel bloggin'

Blogging from a bagel shop in my hometown. My dad is getting some dental work done (which apparently is going to take a couple of hours), so I'm just hanging out, killing time. I should be learning lines for my next project, but I think I'm going to have plenty of time for that.

Besides, I haven't blogged in a week!

I'm actually thinking heavily about committing to a month straight of blogging. See, there are thirty days in September, and I'll be turning thirty in September (gasp!), so it kind of makes sense. As long as I can get some blogging time t'm'row, we may give this thing a go.

Headed back home to NY t'm'row - finally! It's just for a couple of weeks, but I'm very excited. There's lots to tell, but I think I'll save some of it for later.

Good Labor Day weekend to all.

airport delay

Shockingly, there's fog in San Francisco, so my flight to SFO has been delayed an hour. And, since I inexplicably got to the airport 2 hours before I was supposed to leave, I've had a nice wait. I've been here for 2 hours, and I've got at least another 20 minutes. Ick.

My vacation has been...um...eventful. I'm really ready to go home and get a REAL vacation. Of course, I've got to learn a bunch of lines for my next show (which starts in less than 3 weeks), but for the most part I'll be able to sit around and do nothing.

And hopefully I can blog a bit more, too. I spent way too much time with Snapple when I was in Rockport, and I don't feel really comfortable about blogging around people I write about. I'm sure that, once I'm living in a hotel again, I'll be back on here regularly.

See you on the other side.

i need a vacation from my vacation

I'm leaving Sleepy Hamlet today, and it's happening right on time. I woke up this morning and my brain felt like mushy scrambled eggs. That was probably brought on by the fact that (a) I had WAY too many drinks last night, and (b) I only got 5 1/2 hours sleep.

I definitely need to quit drinking for a while.

So, of course, I next head to LA, where perhaps my greatest drinking buddy lives. This should be interesting.

Hamlet, not sleepy

Back in my old stomping grounds, where this blog began. I love coming back to visit Sleepy Hamlet. I'm here for five days, and it's just not enough time to see anybody. I'm staying with Grace, a girl I used to date, and I've barely seen her at all. I'm trying as much as possible to have coffee and such with people, but it's tough. And then you throw in seeing shows...damn.

Just a note to say I'm alive. I'm going to my parents' house next week, so you'll get more posts from me, including the update on the Snapple situation...

marriage is sacred, right?

If you've ever been around people in the entertainment industry, you know that the idea of "fidelity" is kind of fluid.

It really shouldn't be surprising. You develop these emotional attachments as characters, which sometimes spill over into real life. (I can't tell you how many crushes I've had on women who have played opposite me.) And, you know, you're on the road, far away from home, and you're kind of lonely, and you spend all of this time with the same eight people, and you all go to the bar together after work. And one of them is kind of cute, and you talk about some racy topics, and then everyone else is gone except for the two of you, and before you know it, you're making out in the hallway of your hotel.

I've been on the road for a couple of years now, and the one thing I've learned is that when people are involved in a show or movie, romantic connections tend to happen. And they tend to happen regardless of whether or not a person is attached. Or engaged. Or married.

(I've actually been fairly good in this regard - only twice have I ever done anything which could be regarded as questionable. And one of those was with a girl who swore to me that she was breaking up with her boyfriend...which she then didn't do. So I think I get a pass on that one.)

One of our favorite activities here in Rockport is to guess which actors are sleeping together. There's a crew of about six or seven actors who tend to frolic with each other - late night naked swimming, joint showers - all sorts of stuff. And Snapple and I and Snapple's roommate, who is a friend of mine from years past here (let's call her Wonder Woman), tend to get together, and laugh about it, and say tsk, tsk, how ridiculous.

So you think we'd be in the clear, right?

After yet another state-of-the-relationship chat with Snapple this morning, she went home and I showered. When I checked my phone I saw that she had called. I figured that she was going to apologize, or ask some type of questions, so I called her back. But instead of sounding upset or concerned, she was very excited.

SNAPPLE: Guess what?

ME: What?

SNAPPLE: I found an open box of condoms in the living room!

ME: WHAT?

SNAPPLE: Yeah! And I found the receipt for it, too! It was dated August 4th!

This means that what Snapple and I suspected, but couldn't bring ourselves to believe, was true - Wonder Woman was messing around with one of our castmates, a talented and highly respected local actor.

Who is engaged.

It's really hard for me to be disappointed in these circles. But today, I am.

UPDATE: It appears as though nothing happened. Apparently the box of condoms were not opened, and they were bought the day before. This is significant, as Wonder Woman had a guy coming into town the next day. So...now we think nothing happened.

UPDATE II: Snapple and I actually caught the dude coming out of Wonder Woman's room at 8 in the morning on our last day in Rockport. So...I was right.

no change

Still no internet. Still having to go to the library every day to check my e-mail, surf the web, conduct business. Still pissed off.

But...what are ya gonna do?

Under the two week mark left in Rockport. I realize more and more how much I like this place. I'm hopeful that I will get a chance to come back next year...sort of. As much as I love the town and the people, the theater barely pays me enough. Thank God I'm in the union.

More soon. I think I'm going to have to start writing blog entries in my notebook and then postdating them...

finally finished it!

I finally finished Harry Potter. It was excellent. It only took me two days to read it - I'm an exceptionally fast reader, averaging about 100 words an hour when I really get going - but I had to wait a week to get it from Amazon.co.uk. What can I say? I'm such a snob, I have to read the British version, you know, in its mother tongue...

Anyway, now I finally feel like I can surf the internet at will again, without worrying whether or not I will run into some spoiler. Good times.

Perhaps you'll see more of me now...if they get the internet up and running again at our complex...

alone time

I'm writing this entry in the local public library. The internet access at my home is all fucked up, but this also provides me an excellent excuse to get away.

I'm in desperate need of some "me" time.

I like Snapple. She's a cool girl. But she doesn't really show an inclination to do anything other than hang out with me. Sure, she wants to go to the local water park, or read by the water, or get some lunch. But she doesn't really need to do anything, you know, by herself.

And that drives me crazy.

Even when I was the most in love (with Maxine), I still needed a good hour or so completely to myself. I usually do a variety of things during that hour - read, check e-mail, look up sports articles/scores, fantasy football, play video games, etc. The what is not so important.

And if I don't get that time?

I start to go stir-crazy.

Yesterday I spent most of the day in the car - someone in my cast organized a nature trip, and I was with people all day. Then, when I got home, my stomach decided to wage a full-scale war against the rest of my body. Snapple went to the store to get me medicine, but brought home the wrong kind. So we just watched TV for a while before going to sleep.

She had to get up early to go talk to some class or something, so I figured that I'd have a while this morning to myself. But I woke up just after dawn and couldn't get back to sleep. (And that totally pisses me off.) So I ended up having a couple of hours...but it still wasn't enough.

So now I'm at the library. And I think that Snapple's upset. I'll have to fix that when I go home. Hopefully I'm in a better space to do so.

But, for right now, I'm going to browse the internet. And enjoy my solitude.

what to do, what to do

I've been a bad blogger lately. I've been avoiding visiting anyone's blog, because my Harry Potter book doesn't arrive from London until Friday, and I'm scared to death that someone is going to spoil the whole book for me. (Don't even think of being that person - I will literally hunt you down.)

And, of course, I really haven't been a regular poster during my time in Rockport. That has a lot to do with the amount of time I spent rehearsing/learning lines/drinking, but it's also had a lot to do with the time I've been spending with Snapple.

But now I find myself in a dilemma.

I think she's a really great girl, I do. But, once I'm done here, I'm going on vacation for two weeks. Then I'm going to be back in NYC for two weeks, and then back out here for the next gig. Which means a lot of long distance.

I have no problems doing long distance (I've done it a few times before, and I would have done it for the Power Broker), but, if I'm going to do it, I have to be 100% into the person. I don't want to be one of those actors who goes from port to port, cheating on his girlfriend/fiancee/wife. (I'd rather be the actor who just makes out with someone in each port, then leaves with no hard feelings, dignity intact for all involved.)

AndI just don't think I'm there. I'm at 75-80%. Maybe. I'm pretty sure that, given the opportunity on my travels, I'd make out with someone.

Doesn't bode well for this relationship, does it?

It's frustrating, because I think she's right for me in a lot of ways. Sure, she does some things that get on my nerves, but overall I think she's really great. But...I'm just not ready. Chalk it up to bad timing, I guess.

There are 3 1/2 weeks left here, so things may change. And that would be great. But I'm not holding my breath.

score!

I got another job!

A couple of weeks ago, I auditioned for a job at a theater in the suburbs of Rockport. Great role - sort of the modern version of what I'm playing now, sorta...

Anyway, they made me sweat for a couple of weeks, but word came today that I got it. Very exciting.

This now means that I'm going to have a whirlwind couple of weeks once I finish things out here, but it will be worth it. AND - I can pay my bills for a few more months!

Just wanted to put this up here. I've got a couple of stories to tell, but I'll save them for later in the week...

finally...

...rehearsal is over. Shows are up.

I can go back to my schedule of working 15 hours a week.

I love my life.

Now, if it weren't so darn hot here...

fallout

Things with Snapple and I are pretty cool, I suppose. I mean, have my doubts been magically erased? No. But she seems to be ok with things (although I don't think she's as secure as she was before, which is totally understandable), so we're going forward.

I'm beginning to realize, more and more, that I'm probably not the easiest person to be in a relationship with. I need copious amounts of alone time, and I have scores of female friends, and I talk to most of my exes, and I travel all the time, and my job often requires me to make out with beautiful women in front of bunches of people. And then there are the groupies. (I'm only half-kidding about that one - someone remind me to do a post about that!)

Anyway, it's not the ideal situation, and even though Snapple is in the business, she sees all of that. She's remarkably understanding, but still...

Off to rehearse. Only a couple more of those left, and then I can enjoy my summer...

oh, Snapple...

A short post, but I had to comment...

Things with Snapple are going pretty well. She's really kind, and considerate, and I have no problems hanging out with her for hours. Etc., etc.

However...

I've been a "single" guy for so long that it's kind of hard to get out of this mindset. And I'm in a city with a LOT of beautiful women, and I work with several beautiful women, and I'm playing high-profile roles, and I get a little attention...and I like it.

So, the question is not, "Is Snapple the right girl for me?" but rather, "Do I want to be in a committed monogamous relationship?"

Last night, unfortunately, I did one of the dumber things I've ever done - I told Snapple about my doubts. Now she's convinced that she's done something wrong, and that I don't really like her. It was a circular conversation, and not a whole lot of fun.

So...what now?

Off to rehearsal...more later.

time off

My roommate has flown the coop for Vegas for a few days. I can't tell you how happy I am.

Her departure has also coincided with a two-and-a-half day vacation for me, which, in this business, is like having a week off. It's just what I needed - especially because all hell breaks loose with my schedule starting this weekend for about ten days or so.

It's been really great - I went off and saw some nature on Monday, saw TRANSFORMERS yesterday (which was awesome!), fired up the PlayStation for the first time in a while, and rented a couple of movies (I'm still knocking off the Oscar-nominated flicks - watched 2 in the last two days).

And I've hung out a lot with Snapple. I'd call it a relationship, I guess, but we're still using the term "dating", and not "boyfriend/girlfriend". Which is a good thing, because I keep having these mini-freak-outs, or "relationship allergy attacks", if you will. You know, everything will be fine, and then I'll suddenly have the urge to make out with every girl in the bar. Not because I really want to, mind you, but to prove that I can. It's just difficult for me to turn that "single" mindset off.

OK, off to the local Blockbuster to return said movies, and then to the gym (which I have definitely been cheating on lately)...

oh the places i've been

L. Britt and tuckergurl did this a while ago, and I put it away for a rainy day. Voila!



create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

I counted the states that I've driven across, as well as places I've spent the night. Places where I've had airport layovers (Arizona, Minnesota and Texas) but didn't leave the airport don't count.

So, if you're desperately trying to figure out where Sleepy Hamlet, or Rockport, or Cowtown, or Steak City is, here's a bit of a hint. Good luck! ;-)

update

(If you haven't already, read the post below to get up to speed.)

Here's the text-message exchange we had last night, over the course of several hours, and after I tried calling her a couple of times:

LIL' BIT: I'm not coming. I'm going to cancel my ticket.

ME: I think that's a good idea.

LIL' BIT: I'm also not speaking to you indefinitely.

ME: Because...

LIL' BIT: I hate you so much.

ME: All righty then...

(I was really loathe to make any response - I mean, what am I supposed to do if she hates me? Beg forgiveness for something I'm not sorry for? But I felt like I had to say SOMETHING...)

LIL' BIT: I'm so glad you want to know why.

(And she was SO obviously bating me with this response. But I hate not knowing things, so I pressed on...)

ME: Well, I would...

(no response)

ME: ...but I'm not going to beg you for one. I'm in the middle of a really demanding show. So if you want to lay it out in an e-mail or voice mail, please do. If not, then I guess that's how we'll have to leave it...though that's not my choice...

LIL' BIT: Because I love you and I can't get over you. And I want to so much because you can move on.

ME: I understand and respect that. You have to do what's best for you.

LIL' BIT: Well I guess that's it then. I'm glad one of us is happy. Do I need to leave town when you're here?

ME: Of course not. [Your town] is big enough for both of us for a few days.

LIL' BIT: Is it? I don't know.

ME: Well, I'll give you your space. And you know how to get a hold of me...

LIL' BIT: Don't worry. You won't hear from me anymore.


Wow.

In re-reading all of this, I wonder if I was a little too harsh. But, honestly, I'm not in love with her, never told her I was in love with her (or even said "I love you"), and was pretty honest and open about how I felt about things at all times. So, even though I feel like a bit of a heel, I'm glad that the message has finally gotten through.

crazy

After an epic night last night, I woke up with a text message on my phone. It was from Lil' Bit (aka GISS) and it said, "Call me if you're up."

So, of course, I didn't. I broke things off with her for good a couple of weeks ago, so I've kind of been trying to keep my distance. (That's a whole 'nother set of posts.) I was supposed to go to breakfast with the girl (who, for now, we'll call Snapple), so I figured that I'd call her afterwards.

But when I checked my e-mail, I had three messages from Lil' Bit.

1st message: Hey. If I can figure out a plane ticket would it be cool for me to come visit ... and stay for a couple days? Let me know.

2nd message (half an hour after the first): was just browsing and I can fly for free on airline miles...let me know if it’s cool to come see you.

3rd message (eight minutes after the second): I took a chance and booked it. I have 3 days to cancel or change without penalty. Livin on the edge.

Um...what?

I told Snapple at breakfast, who was not very happy. I told her that I'd call Lil' Bit after we ate and try to dissuade her from coming. I was really hoping that, after talking to me, and hearing the reluctance in my voice, and hearing that I'm dating someone semi-seriously, that she would just decide not to come.

When I got her on the phone, she was all cheery - "I'm coming to see you!" - and when I asked her what made her decide to do this, she said, "It was a whim. Just a whim!" And that it just made sense, since she could buy the ticket for 5 dollars. She'd be staying for four days.

Not a good sign.

I asked her what she was planning to do on the visit (because I had been pretty clear with her, when I broke things off, that (a) I'm seeing someone else and (b) I don't want any more romantic stuff to happen) and she said that she was "open to anything", but that she really needed to get out of town and from her jobs and random stresses. So then I reminded here that I was seeing Snapple, to which she said, "Yeah, it'll be good for me to see that, 'cause it will be like closure."

You should have seen my face.

So I then asked how she was doing, and she basically said that she's pretty adrift, and doesn't know what she's doing with her life, and feels really lonely at home and keeps running after things that she shouldn't be chasing. (To which I wanted to say, "Why the fuck are you coming out here?" But, alas, I am too nice.)

Then she asked how I was, and I told her that I was working my ass off, but really happy, having a good time with the new girl, etc. I was really playing up the fact that Snapple is from NY, and that this wasn't a fling for me. After that, she got off the phone pretty fast, but still played the whole I'm-so-excited card.

I admit, I was pretty shocked.

I wanted to call her back and just flat out tell her not to come (which was my first instinct). I decided to call one of my best friends. While waiting for her to call me back (she was having some big talk with Maxine, actually - irony of ironies) Lil' Bit sent me a text message saying, "I feel weird. I don't know if I should come."

I responded, "I feel weird about it, too. When do you have to decide?"

"I have three days to make a change."

So I wrote back, "I'll talk to you about it tomorrow," but then I sent a text after that said, "Give me a call when you get a chance," because I don't want this to drag out another day - I'm going to tell her straight up not to come.

And when I talked to my friend, she agreed, and basically said that she was crazy. I think that I had been in shock up until that point - I mean, I really couldn't believe what was happening. But during my conversation with my friend, I started to get angry - who buys a plane ticket and then tells you that they're coming? She had the time to send me three e-mails and a text message - she couldn't pick up the phone and fucking CALL me to ask if it was ok? Or wait a few hours? What the fuck?

Anyway, I probably should just have followed my original instinct (although that would have involved yelling, which I don't like to do - I mean, I have a show tonight and I should save my voice), but like an idiot I decided to try and be nice and check out the situation to see how she was feeling...well, I KNOW how she's feeling.

Crazy.

Anyway, when she calls me (or when I call her), I'm going to tell her that I don't think it's a good idea, and I don't want her to come. Period.

(sigh)

Reaction?

(I'll let you know what happens, don't worry...)

not much to report

A cool grey day here in Rockport. I need to learn lines and do laundry, but I don't wanna. I wanna play Playstation 'til my eyes bug out. Is there anything wrong with that?

I've been really bad about writing lately - both here and in my journal - and I always think of the old axiom that when the most things are going on in your life, you have the least amount of time to record them. So true.

I am having a great summer. Work is good, the crazy factor is positive (meaning I'll have some nice stories for you later in the summer), and things with the girl continue to go well. One of my NYC friends came out last week and met her, and she approves, which is always a relief. And the roommate is out of the house for a few hours, which is AWESOME. Just me and Clementine, surfin' the web and procrastinating.

Hopefully I'll have more interesting things to tell you next week - right now I'm just checkin' in, floating on a cloud of lazy...

no, i didn't kill her

My friend called me earlier today and chided me for not updating the roommate situation. I think she was secretly wondering if I had killed her.

It's better. Apparently (by her own admission), she was PMSing last week, which makes her "crazy". Mind you, I haven't seen any huge strides in cleanliness the last few days, but we'll give her the benefit of the doubt, I guess. She did have a huge blowup before a rehearsal last week, but I wasn't there, so I can't really give too many details.

Anyway, I'm up to my neck in learning lines, so I may be pretty scarce for the next week or so. But I'll be back, with a vengeance, very shortly...

roommate issues

My roommate is driving me crazy.

She's a very nice woman, and she means well. Caring and supportive, blah blah blah. BUT...

- SHE'S A SLOB. Her room is a mess, there are always crumbs everywhere, the upstairs bathroom (which she has totally taken over) is filthy, and I'm always finding three-quarters empty Starbucks cups and banana peels (seriously) all over the place. She even poured popcorn into a COLLANDER last week, and then wondered why we had popcorn all over the floor. Which I had to vacuum up, by the way. Which reminds me...

- SHE DOESN'T CLEAN UP AFTER HERSELF. I'm always the one vacuuming, or doing the dishes, or wiping down the counters. I think she emptied the dishwasher once.

- SHE HAS NO IDEA HOW TO USE A TRASH CAN. She just keeps piling things on top of the pile until it overflows. Sometimes I'll close the bag, if there's something really stinky in the can. And what does she do? She just throws her trash on top of the closed plastic bag. It's disgusting. And, of course, I'm the only one who takes the garbage out.

- SHE'S TOO FAMILIAR. You know those people who assume that they can joke around with you, or make certain assumptions about you because "they know you so well"? I was being called "baby" from about day 3. And she's also come up with a very annoying nickname for me, a bastardized version of my real name. It drives me crazy. And she knows it drives me crazy, and she's tried to come up with something else, but at least once a day I hear that damn nickname. Makes me want to puncture my own eardrums.

- SHE'S CONSTANTLY USING MY COMPUTER. Clementine is a one-man laptop, people. I don't get good reception downstairs, so I've got to come upstairs to get online, and every time I'm up here she asks to get on to do some small task. And then she ends up on the thing for hours. And she always logs me out of my e-mail, which drives me crazy.

There's more, but I don't have the heart to go through it all. I don't know if I can make it through the whole summer, y'all.

stupid internet

I was really annoyed earlier, because I wanted to post something, but the internet connection in my apartment isn't so hot.

It makes no sense. They're housing the actors in this giant apartment complex, and they've got three or four different networks here just for us, and ALL of them kinda suck. I had to come up here to one of the rooms with the little AirPort station so that I could get a reliable connection (because I was trying to send out my info for a couple of jobs).

And, of course, now that I'm on, I have no idea what I wanted to write about.

I will say, since I have your attention, that if you are a movie person, I've seen three good ones lately. KNOCKED UP is hilarious, OCEAN'S THIRTEEN was very classy, and BREACH is fascinating. You're welcome.

OK, I'm going to enjoy my day off - because I'm not going to have much free time for the next month or so.

quelle coincidence

So I decided to call Maxine tonight. She's going to Europe for two weeks, and I figured that I probably should talk to her before she leaves.

It starts out as kind of a strange conversation, full of stops and starts. I was a little nervous, because I figured that I should probably tell her that I'm dating this new girl. (Still working on a name for her.)

(It's a really long story, but I usually wait to tell her if I'm messing around with someone because I don't want to hurt her feelings, and then when I eventually tell her, she's peeved because I didn't tell her sooner. So we made a pact that we'd tell each other what was up when we knew what was going on. Back to the story.)

So she mentions going to some show, and being really annoyed (in classic Maxine fashion) because they said the show would be 2:05 and it ended up being 2:30, and she had someplace to be. And I say, in classic Rover fashion, "What, did you have a hot date?"

Her response?

"No." Pause. "Maybe."

Turns out that shortly after I met this new girl, she met a guy who lives two blocks away from her.

It's really funny. We both are excited about our new situations, but trying not to get ahead of ourselves. She's sensitive towards my feelings, and vice versa. Truth be told, I'm really excited for her. It's been a long time since she's met someone that she's really been into. I may feel weird about it when I go back to BK, but for right now I can be behind this 100%.

Anyway, I thought that was a little strange, and worth sharing.

PS. Melissa, if you don't believe me, you can see evidence on my MySpace page...

the ladies

First of all, at the risk of sounding like an insensitive pig, there are tons of hot ladies in Rockport. There's a sizable college in town, and it's amazing how many attractive young females are around.

Unfortunately, since I've sworn off the young ones, most of them are off-limits.

One of my friends raised the point that, if I just want a summer fling, I shouldn't have to worry about how old they are (as long as they are legal). If you've ever dated anyone significantly younger (or older), however, you know that it can sometimes be hard to relate. I spent half of my time with Jr. Miss rolling my eyes at some of the things she said. Of course, maybe that's because she's crazy.

Fortunately for me, I think that I've got something going with someone a little bit older.

GASP!

(When I told my brother about this the other day, he was actually shocked that I was dating someone older than 23. I don't know quite what to say about that.)

Anyway, this thing is still in the early stages (a little over a week), and I don't know where it's going, but so far so good. She's working on the show, and she'll be in Rockport all summer. She's also kind of different from a lot of the women that I've dated in the past, too (and for your information, L. Britt/Melissa/tuckergurl, she's not a blonde).

More about this later. I've got to get to the gym and finish up by four, so I can finally stop playing phone tage with one of my friends...

seriously?

Why is it that drunk frat boys think it's cool to say things like, "brother" to me?

As in, "Hey brother, gimme high five!"

And I'm not referring to the NorCal "brother", or SoCal "bro", either. I am addressed in this manner because I am a young black man.

Last night I just opened my eyes real wide and said, "Hey..." The reactions of the other three people with me (all of whom were white) ranged from bemusement to "I can't believe you didn't just knock him out."

Whatever.

i am a slacker

Hello?

Is anyone out there?

Sorry I haven't thrown anything up here in a while - the transition to Rockport has been very very busy. I had a 50 hour week last week, which sucks, and when I wasn't in the theater, I was drinking. A lot.

(But I'm sober right now, thanks for asking.)

Things out here are excellent. I've gotten used to the shock of being out here without my old friends. There are a handful of the people from the old regime that are still around, so that helps. The head honcho worked with me at one of my previous stops, and he and his wife are going to have me over for dinner/drinks soon, so I'm looking forward to that.

I'm hoping to have some fun stories to tell you over the course of the summer. There are a couple of potential comedy gold mines here. I can tell you that the other night, at the big icebreaker party, I had a girl tell me that she wished she was attracted to black men, because I was hot.

(For the record, she is at least 1/2 Mexican. And, yes, I am hot. Can't you tell by my picture?)

I've got a bunch of days off in a row, so hopefully you'll get more news from me. Anything in particular you want me to post about?

(There will be a post about the ladies of Rockport...in a while...)