Friday, March 31, 2006

embrace the chaos

When I was preparing to leave grad school, there was a period of time where I was close to panic. Questions flooded my mind:
  • Where would I live in New York City?
  • Would I ever find an apartment?
  • Could I find a job flexible enough to allow me to act?
  • Would I make enough money to be able to pay my rent?
  • How would I get an agent?
Having these concerns floating around your head is enough to drive you crazy. I was choosing a lifestyle that was unstable, with no guarantees of being able to support myself. I didn't know where my next job was going to be, or what it was going to entail, or who I was going to be working with.

I don't remember when the notion clicked in my head, but one day, this thought popped into my head:

Embrace the chaos.

(It was kind of like Field of Dreams, you know, when Kevin Costner starts hearing voices in the cornfield.)

Embracing the chaos means that I fully accept the fact that my future is uncharted. It means that I'm ok with my plans changing, with taking jobs far away from home, and from my loved ones. It gives me freedom and flexibility. And it also allows me to work a job where I usually don't have to get up before ten.

I lose track of this every now and then - get panicky, worry about my checkbook, stuff like that. But, as a friend of a friend says, it is what it is. And when I fully accept my circumstances, and embrace them, I'm good to go.

This was a really long winded way of saying that I'm ok with all hell breaking loose with my schedule. There's a good chance that I may spend half of May taking a super duper road trip with a fellow blogger. I've always wanted to drive cross country, and I may have the opportunity to do just that. And you can bet, if that happens, that I'll be writing about it nonstop. (That's what I did during my significant road trip seven years ago.)

Off to freshen up the wig. Good weekend to all...

Thursday, March 30, 2006

My triumphant return to NY...

...is April 25. Write it down, bitches!

playing through pain!

No news from the audition last week. So I'm officially writing it off, and looking forward to a fun-filled summer in NYC. (And yes, I'm fully aware that writing these words makes a phone call from that theater company probable.) I could have exciting plans involving two of my fellow bloggers...more news on that as it develops.

Only 2 1/2 weeks to go in Cowtown. Can't believe the time has gone by so fast. The show, which I was very worried about for some time, now seems to be in good shape. We got a great review from the big paper in town, and we've had great audiences since our first preview. And if people are ultimately entertained, I'm happy. That's why I'm doing this job, after all.

Just want to let all of you know that I'm gutting out this blog entry - last night I smashed my left middle finger. I have this bit in the show where I'm holding a couple of guns and I jump on stage from the audience. Normally it's a pretty fluid move, but yesterday I slipped and broke my fall with my hand - which was holding a gun. All of the weight of the gun (which I think may be antique) came down on my finger. It doesn't feel too good, and the nail is turning a couple of fun colors, but it's barely swollen this morning, so I don't think I broke it. I don't know how I managed to keep from reacting when it happened - guess that by this point, I'm trained to keep going. I'm such a professional!

Two shows today - the first starts in less than two hours, so I better scoot.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

F for fuckin' good

The title, of course, refers to the movie V For Vendetta. Excellent movie. I highly recommend it. The Wachowski Brothers have said that they're not trying to make comparisons between the fictional England they've created and America today - but if you don't come out of that movie thinking about the concept of terrorism, you weren't paying attention. But, hey, should we expect any less out of these guys? They gave us The Matrix, which also could be know as The Thinking Man's Action Flick.

One more thing - Hugo Weaving (who played Agent Smith in the Matrix trilogy) is outstanding as V. The mask work that he does is unbelievable. And, if you've ever done any mask work, you know how hard it is.

more crazy

Two separate posts on two different subjects. Of course, we all know my well-documented attractiveness to crazy people. I was picking up some groceries at Safeway, trying to determine if the check-out girl thought I was cute (apparently not), when an older lady approached me.

You look familiar. Do you live around here?

Um, sort of. I'm not from here.

Do you know Dwayne blahblahblah?

No...sorry.

Oh. Because he knows everybody. (Points to tabloid magazine rack) You look familiar? There was this time when (unintelligible) and then he got some cocaine. It was just a vial. And then there was a teeny (unintelligible string of gibberish).

Oh...


And then she kept murmuring until she moved through the check-out line and joined the person she was with. What is it about me that attracts crazy?

Voice & Sandwich

I'm back, folks. You can breathe easy.

Voice & Sandwich left early early this morning, and are now safe and sound at home. It was really good to see them. I took them out for tea (since Voice is a tea freak; she drinks like six cups a day) and to In-N-Out Burger (since they'd never been) and showed them the Steelers Championship DVD in my palacial guest house. And they saw the show, which they liked a lot. (And so did the Cowtown Daily Bugle - they gave us a good review!)

I really love the relationship I have with my parents - I always have - and it seems to get better and better every year. They support my decisions, and they listen to me and always give me their honest opinions. (They had some very interesting thoughts on the ex-girlfriend during this visit that I had never heard before.) I feel very lucky that we're so close.

All right, enough of that mushy stuff.

Working out the travel itinerary for April, and, hopefully, the rest of the year. The theater is supposed to decide whether or not to extend the run of the play by the end of the week, so I have to draw up two different plans, but I know for sure that I'll be in NYC by May 1. Exciting times. The yearly plan (as of right now) isn't too different from what I thought a couple of months ago, but that could change radically in the next couple of days.

Off to the gym - I've been putting it off all day - but I have to tell you about the full court press I've been getting from Cowtown residents...

Friday, March 24, 2006

just say no

The job craziness continues. I thought I had a job offer (different from Monday's adventure) that was going to pay me X amount of dollars a week. I just found out that, instead, they want to pay me half of that. And several of the other conditions that I was told would be in place have changed.

So now I'm in a weird spot. I'm half committed here (verbally, but not in writing), but with the new terms of the arrangement I don't know if I can stick. And I know that there was interest in me in another couple of places, so do I chase after those opportunities full bore? I think the most likely course of action is that I string the offer along for a couple more weeks, while I figure out if there's anything else out there for me. (This is a great opportunity, Melissa and Bright-Eyes, for you two to put your heads together, pool all your connections, and get me hooked up with a steady NYC acting gig. Good luck!)

What this comes down to is that I always feel bad saying "no". I've gotten better at doing so over time, especially in the last few years, but I can't get over the guilt.

Voice and Sandwich (aka Mom and Dad) are coming into town this weekend! I really need to tell those of you unfamiliar with my parents how they got their names. Anyway, I'll probably be scarce until the middle of next week; a good weekend to all...

"the milk's gone bad!"

This is really disturbing. Funny, but disturbing. After clicking the link, scroll down to the bottom of the page to see what I'm talking about. You only need to watch the first 20 seconds or so; once you see animals, my work is done.

(And, FYI, I'm an omnivore, so I'm disturbed by the video in the beginning, not by the content afterwards.)

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

quick post

...because I've got to leave for work in fifteen minutes. I was supposed to go to the gym this morning, but I overslept. In fact, I knew I was going to oversleep. We've all been there before - you look at the clock before bed, and think, "Wow, I should set my alarm," and then you think, "No, it's all right, I'll wake up in time, and if I don't, then I'll at least have had enough sleep." And maybe you even wake up an hour or so before your scheduled wake-up time, and think, "Yeah, I'll just lay here for a bit, and then I'll get up. I couldn't go back to sleep if I tried!" And then, next time you look at the clock, you realized you slept 45 minutes later than you were supposed to. Good times.

Has anyone been to tedheads.com? My friend just made me a hilarious video. I thought about posting on here, but, as you know, I enjoy my anonymity. Plus, if you don't know both of us, it's probably not that funny. If you're really curious, send me an e-mail and I'll hook you up.

All right, off to be brilliant on the stage. No news about my audition yet. I'll let you know when something happens.

Monday, March 20, 2006

destiny?

Did you ever feel like maybe you were destined to do something, and that, no matter how hard you tried, it wasn't going to change? I'm starting to feel like that about Shakespeare. I can't get away from it, no matter how hard I try.

Today I got a phone call from one of my castmates, who had talked me up to some people he was auditioning for. They wanted to see me - would I make the 90 minute drive up to the mountains above Cowtown to see them? I thought for a minute - all I was doing was sitting at the computer, putting off a trip to the gym. Sure, I said. Give me a half hour to shower; I'll be there at three.

The drive up was hellacious. Traffic. Torrential rain. Even snow (which gave me flashbacks to this). But I made it up there. I did two scenes and a monologue for them, and the seven people in the room were beyond enthusiastic. I should know by the end of the week, but I feel pretty good about it. By "feeling good", I mean about the audition, not about the fact my entire summer may be turned upside-down.

Not that I don't love doing Shakespeare - I do. But I had always pictured a different career path. Movies. Cutting-edge theater, maybe on Broadway, if I was lucky. Maybe even the odd guest spot on TV. Never in a million years did I think that Shakepeare would be paying my student loans, and putting food in my stomach and clothes on my back. I'm very grateful - but I'm stunned.

Dinner time. Low fat chicken parm, anyone? I think I'll be eating at 8...you're welcome to come over, if you can find me...

Saturday, March 18, 2006

at work!

So I'm finally doing something that most of my blogger friends do all of the time: I'm blogging from work! This may not be that exciting for y'all, but for me it's a total change.

We've got what's called "10 out of 12" this weekend; union rules allow for a show to have the actors for ten hours a day for two consecutive days. Translation - I spend all weekend at the theater. And since there's lots of down time during a tech, I figured I'd bring along my laptop. The main reason for that - you can get NCAA Tournament games online.

The show is going pretty well. Everything seems to be coming together. And not a moment too soon - we start performing for people next week. It's been a long time since I've had a role this big, and I'm really enjoying every moment. But I'm totally busting my ass...hence why I'm exhausted all of the time.

The other thing about this play is that I have to be funny. I mean, I think I can be a funny guy, but no one asks me to do that on stage all that often. So hopefully people will think I'm funny. I'll let you know what the reviews say.

All right. Looks like they're gonna need me in a few minutes. Back to work...hope you enjoyed your "insider" view...

Thursday, March 16, 2006

March Madness!

Two solid days of college hoops. Now that's good times. Unfortunately, I've got to be at work all day today, so I won't see squat. (sigh) Guess that's the price we pay, to entertain... (I hope you're picking up on my sarcasm, 'cause I'm laying it on pretty thick...)

Who am I picking? Villanova, UConn, Texas and the KU/Pitt round 2 winner - right now I like Kansas, but my mind changes every five minutes. I think 'Nova's got the firepower to win the whole thing. We TOTALLY should have started a Blogger pool! Next year.

Off to the gym.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

rebuttal

Ah, Miss Fire, knew that I could count on you. I was just intending to make it a comment, but it was way too long. (Before you read this, check out the post below and attached comments. Read that? Good...here we go:)

- True, not every white person operates from a place of power. But, by and large, the people in control of things in this country aren't minorities.

- With this specific issue, I'm not talking about picking between two people of different races for one slot at a school. I'm talking about giving money to individuals already in the "accepted" pile. You don't just admit people of color just to hand out money - you make sure that they are qualified. Students can get scholarships for all sorts of things - gender, geographical location, economic status, membership in a club or group, religion - besides just race. And, no, I don't have a problem with any of those, either.

- I have no problems with going to community colleges - many of my friends and family members have. My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, either. That's why I worked my ass off to get scholarships. I applied for everything I could.

- The playing field is not level. I wish it were. You can't get into the game if you don't have the proper equipment, or the right footwear. And you certainly can't play if you can't find your way into the stadium - or if your way is blocked by others.

It sounds great to say that whites shouldn't be forced to suffer for decisions made by their ancestors. But guess what? Whites are still benefiting from decisions made by those ancestors. And minorities, particularly Afro-Americans and American Indians, still suffer from those same decisions. We've made some progress, specifically in how we treat people in public...but we're not there yet. Not by a long shot.

To answer your question (which was the only one that really got under my skin), no, I was not a "head count". I've worked twice as hard all my life just to get to where I'm at. Many of us do.

As far as my credentials...I don't want to brag, but I could have gotten into any school in the country, based on my grades and academic profile. I had one other full scholarship offer (from Penn State, based on my grades) and three other partial offers. I went to Boys' State and Boys' Nation. I played sports. I had a black belt in karate. I had a 4.5 GPA. I played an instrument and sang in the choir. I took several AP classes. I had leads in school plays and musicals. I was an officer in my church youth group. In short, I was probably the ideal high school student, regardless of race. Ask Melissa - she was there.

And yet, when it came time to find someone to take to prom, I had to go through three different girls just to get a date. Why? Because the white parents in my neighborhood didn't want their daughters to go to a dance with "the black kid". So, even after all I did in school, in my community, with my life, in these people's eyes, I was just another nigger.

I'll never forget that.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

early morning rant.

This makes me angry. I'm usually cranky when I wake up, and I just got up 15 minutes ago, but this isn't making my mood any better. Because of a Supreme Court ruling three years ago, colleges left and right are either shutting down their minority programs, or opening these doors for all comers.

My point is this - minorities need opportunities to get into the door. We're not talking about picking the black kid over the white kid here, people. We're talking about making it possible for the black kid to go to an outrageously expensive school by giving him some extra cash.

Full disclosure - I was the recipient of a full scholarship from my alma mater. And, without that scholarship, I wouldn't have been able to go. Sure, I could have gone to a community college, or a local university, but I wouldn't have had the same education opportunities at those places.

I love this quote - couldn't be more right on:
Advocates of focused scholarships programs like Theodore M. Shaw, president of the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund Inc., challenge the notion that programs for minority students hurt whites. "How is it that they conclude that the great evil in this country is discrimination against white people?" Mr. Shaw asked. "Can I put that question any more pointedly? I struggle to find the words to do it because it's so stunning."



Amen.

Monday, March 13, 2006

back in black

Finally feeling like myself again. I did virtually nothing this weekend (aside from my rehearsals) - just watched a lot of television and caught up on some blog reading.

In fact, I didn't even work out. I even had In-N-Out Burger and creme brulee last night - talk about going whole hog. But now I feel great. Today's my off day, but I feel focused and ready, for my workout later this afternoon (the plan for this week is entitled "Get Tough"), and for the last week of rehearsals - we start performing for people who pay next week.

It's just really hard for me to do absolutely nothing, no matter what the circumstances. But sometimes it's the best thing for you.

Anybody do anything exciting this weekend?

Saturday, March 11, 2006

so...weak...need...energy

I've been really exhausted lately. I haven't worked this hard on a show in almost four years, and I'm going to the gym five or six times a week, but the level of my fatigue has been really surprising. I'm getting lots of sleep and eating almost all of the right things...but I'm still lethargic when I get home. Maybe it's living in this posh guest house that makes me tired.

I guess that's why, right now, even though I'm bored to tears waiting for my rehearsal to start, I really just want to sleep for two days straight. I'm supposed to go out with my friend's brother tonight and see just what's hip about Cowtown, but I don't know if I'm going to have the energy. How pitiful am I?

Hope that everyone has a great weekend...

LA meme

So Jesus' Favorite nailed me with another meme...dammit. But she's the big sister of one of my dear dear friends, so you gotta do what you gotta do. And, wouldn't you know it, it's all about my future home:

4 Jobs I've Had In My Life In LA (Well, seeing how I've never actually lived there, I've never made any money there. But, during my last visit, my responsibilities were:)

- acting
- finding representation
- going to the beach (or hot tub) every day
- drinking as much alcohol as possible without passing out

4 Movies About LA I Could Watch Over And Over

- Boogie Nights
- Beverly Hills Cop
- Pulp Fiction
- Clueless

4 Places I've Lived All Over LA (Again, we're going to tweak this one, to places I've stayed in the city:)

- Culver City
- The Valley
- Venice (2 blocks from the beach, baby!)
- (upcoming) West Hollywood

4 LA-Themed Shows I Love(d) To Watch
- 24 - words can't express how much I love this show. If you watch it, go here. Or here.
- ALF
- Doogie Howser, M.D.
- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

4 Places I Would Vacation At In LA
- the beach
- the beach
- the beach
- the beach

4 LA-Based Websites I Visit Daily
- Jesus' Favorite
- The Sports Guy
That's all I got. Sorry. Click on them twice, over on the left where I keep the links.

4 Of My Favorite Foods Found In LA
- In-N-Out Double Double, Animal Style
- In-N-Out Fries
- Anything from Jamba Juice
- Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles...so good...

4 Places In LA I Would Rather Be Right Now
- the beach
- the beach
- the beach
- visiting my "friend"

I'd tag people, but there seems to be a current of bitterness about my move, so I'm not gonna risk it. ;-) Do it if you wanna.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

new name?

What if I call myself "Smoove B"...you know, like the guy from the Onion?

I could make it K, so that it would be less confusing...

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

decision

It's early Wednesday morning, but I don't have rehearsal until seven t'm'row night, meaning that I have no idea what time I'm going to get up in the morning. And I don't want to deprive my East Coast readers, who are probably waiting with baited breath to see if I'm going to come back to them.

Sadly, I'm not.

I've waffled back and forth for days now, and late Saturday night I was thinking that I was probably going to go back to New York. It would be easy, I thought. I know how the city works, I thought. My ex-g'friend is there, and it would be nice to see her every day again, I thought. I have a bunch of cool friends who are there, who will be moving there shortly. I thought I had it all figured out.

And then I woke up early Sunday morning and went to the movies (to see Dave Chappelle's Block Party - see the below post for my thoughts on the movie). And I sat in this mostly empty theater, right in the middle, and relaxed as the previews came up.

I don't remember the name of the movie that was previewed first. It's not really important. What is important is the feeling that came over me when the first frame appeared on the screen.

I want to do that. I CAN do that.

And from there, it was a done deal.

I love theater. I always will. I'll never stop doing it. The connection that's created when an audience and the actors are totally in sync is indescrible. Everything is in harmony, a perfect feedback loop.

But I've always wanted to do movies, ever since I was a little kid. And I'm not getting any younger. And, if I want to go that route, I need to be in the city that makes it all happen. The city that's got great weather, and beaches, and In-N-Out Burgers galore, and fake tits and puffed-up lips as far as the eye can see.

I'm moving to Los Angeles.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

a tag right up my alley

So I've been tagged - actually double-teamed by DH and April. (pause while you insert the dirty joke of your choosing here)

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

Like this totally isn't up my alley? I mean, how much do I love music? I could probably list seventy songs that I'm into, but in the interest of time and space, and not driving away my dear readers, I'll follow the instructions.

1. Go - Common: this song reminds me of a specific place and time...driving to and from the house of this girl with whom I had a torrid affair last summer, and the coolness of Sleepy Hamlet early summer mornings. It was a fun time. And this is truly a great song, from what is my co-album of the year for '05.

2. Touch The Sky - Kanye West: the trumpets in this song are to die for - so bright and clear. This song makes me feel invincible.

3. U Don't Have To Call - Usher: his best song, in my humble opinion. It was the last song I heard bumping from car speakers when I left NYC in April '02.

4. It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp - DJay: from the movie Hustle & Flow, which I liked a lot. Can you believe this won the Oscar? I'm still in shock about this.

5. Run It! (Remix) - Chris Brown f. Juelz Santana - can't explain this one.

6. Ms. New Booty - Bubba Sparxxx f. Ying Yang Twinz - I can explain this one...it's the beat, pure and simple. Plus I think I look pretty cool nodding my head to this in the cranberry Malibu I'm currently driving (thanks Cowtown Theater and Avis!).

7. Shake It Off - Mariah Carey: it was tough picking something for the last slot - so many choices! But I can't get Mariah...I mean, her song...out of my head. So she wins.


Can you tell I've been listening to a lot of hip hop lately? And, speaking of hip hop, if you've been following along with my classes (or you're just a big hip hop fan) you HAVE to check out Dave Chappelle's Block Party. It's a really great concert film, and there's lot of material in there for you Chappelle's Show fans, too. And Michael Gondry directed it, who also directed Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, one of my favorite movies ever. Check it out.

Oh yeah, I'm supposed to tag seven people. Let's see...

1. Melissa

2. Tuckergurl

3. L. Britt

4. Sertich

5. Bright-Eyes

6. Hathor

7. The Bird Man

Sorry if I doubled up on you. Thanks for playing!

I'm late!

Sort of. I told myself, since rehearsal starts at 12, and I don't want to go to the gym at eight at night, that I needed to leave here at 9:45.

Well, you can look at the time/date stamp and see that that didn't happen.

And I still have to make a sandwich, too. I can't wait for May. That's when I can just relax in my beloved Big Apple.

Which reminds me. D-Day is t'm'row. I'm pretty sure I know which way it's gonna go. I slept on it last night, and nothing changed. So...you'll know soon...

Monday, March 06, 2006

decision pending

So, I'm finally taking the initiative in picking a city. By Wednesday, it will be done, and I won't look back. It's been interesting; a couple of days ago I was leaning hard towards NY. But I went to the movies on Sunday morning, and I was reminded of why I want to be in them. So we're back to square one. But I'm gonna do the research, meditate, pray a bit, and make a decision. And then we're off to the races.

Chaos reigns in my rehearsal process. I can't even begin to explain it. I felt myself shut off during last night's rehearsal. Here's a tip out there for everybody: if you're teaching a bunch of people to do something, and there's a possibility that all of their hard work may go for naught, don't tell them that while you're teaching them. Not a whole lot of incentive to commit 100%.

Anyway, my main frustration with this process is that I'm the only one here from out of town - all the rest of the cast live year-round in Cowtown. So they've all got these other distractions and life things that are taking them out of rehearsal. The only reason I'm here is to do this show. So I don't have a whole lot of patience with a bunch of people screwing around. I'm here to work...so let's work.

All right, off to write a couple of letters, and then the gym - hopefully by then I still have a shred of motivation left.

and the Oscar goes to...

Just watched the Oscars (on TiVo, because I had rehearsal through the whole thing). Quick thoughts:

- Lots of pictures won lots of awards. It seemed like Memoirs of a Geisha was winning something every time I looked up.

- Very happy that Crash won Best Picture. It's the only one of the five nominees I saw, and I thought it was great. I kind of got tired of the Brokeback hype machine.

- I was, however, very happy for Ang Lee.

- And I was THRILLED that Three 6 Mafia won. How many Americans will be singing, "you know it's hard out here for a pimp" t'm'row morning? Buy the soundtrack. It's good.

- I was happy that Rachael Weisz won - The Constant Gardener was an outstanding movie. Would have liked for Terrence Howard to have won, but you can't argue with PSH.

- I thought that Jon Stewart was a great host. Not sure that the audience loved him (they really only love Billy Crystal), but I did. The fake commercials were great.

Time for bed.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

nothing

Not that I really ever need an excuse to procrastinate, but some days you've just got to do nothing, you know? Especially when you've got the whole day off. I mean...really.

Actually, the main reason why I'm in a holding pattern is that I can't pick up my paycheck before 4, and I don't want to go into the "city" more than once, so I'm delaying my trip to the gym so that I can workout and then swing by work and collect my CASH. Payday is good times.

All right, all right, I'm going. Got a hot date with a treadmill...heh heh heh...

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

(temporary) home sweet home

Another break for me...no rehearsal 'til Friday AM. I think that this time I'm just going to get house-type stuff done - laundry, change sheets and towels, balance my checkbook (which I'm usually a freak about doing) - and hit the gym. The new workout plan's going quite well, thank you.

I talked to the folks at work, and it looks like I'm going to continue napping in the lap of luxury. They originally wanted to move me closer to the theater, but considering that I was on tour for the last two months of '05 and then in a hotel for the first part of '06, I really just want to stay in one place. And I'm just starting to get settled in here...so I didn't want to leave again. And now it looks like I won't have to.

I've got to admit, even though I'm a total urban dweller, I'm kind of digging living in the 'burbs. I found the Whole Foods this weekend, which will totally aid my healthy lifestyle (although it will abuse the hell out of my wallet). And I don't mind the 22-minute commute - gives me time to listen to my iPod, and relax a bit. The only time this will suck will be when I want to get a couple of drinks after a show...but I really should be cutting back on the alcohol intake, anyway.

Time to make dinner...salmon burgers from Whole Foods...mmm...

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

focus

It seems like there's something in the water. Various people in my life are having new discoveries and breakthroughs, and I feel like I'm on the verge of one too. I'm trying to clarify and simplify everything in my life. For example, I know that I need to concentrate on:

- this play that I'm working on...meaning that I need to spend time with the script every night

- getting back into fabulous shape...meaning that I need to get back to my 6 day workout routine

- hiring an agent...meaning that I need to do some mass mailings by the end of next month

- finding a place to live...meaning that I finally need to choose: NY or LA?

- blogging...because writing stimulates me in so many ways


And pretty much everything else is secondary, at least for the next few weeks.

Monday, February 27, 2006

housekeeping

Back in the saddle again. Had a great weekend with "the friend" - thanks for asking.

Unfinished business:

- Safeway. Not that exciting of a story. Went to the store my first night here in suburban Cowtown and ran up a ridiculous bill. Like, too-close-to-$200-for-my-comfort ridiculous. Granted, the total was pushed up by the razor blades and the fifth of Bushmills I bought, but still...

And, the greatest reason why I spent so much money? I didn't figure it out until I got home: the store didn't recognize my Safeway Club card, which cheated me out of $25. I was pretty pissed. But, the next day, I went back and they actually gave me the money back. So...Safeway is off my shit list.

- Rehearsal. Kind of a revolving door at this point. We haven't had the whole cast together yet. I know that this theater is smaller than the one I worked with in Steak City, but come on! Fortunately, I know that the director does great work, and the cast seems like it's pretty solid. Still, I am a bit nervous. I'm going to be working a lot harder in this production than in the previous one, and I hope that it all comes out all right.

Off to dinner with the owners of the guest house, in the mansion. This weekend my friend and I discovered the hot tub...it just gets better and better...maybe they'll serve me filet mignon...

kids say the darnedst things

Actual conversation from my 2nd day of rehearsal.

"Hey, man, I haven't met you yet. My name's Awkward Dude."

"Hi. K Lance. Nice to meet you."

"So...you were in Steak City? Doing Famous Black Play?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, that's cool, man. Yeah, I was supposed to be in the production that we did here in the fall, but I wasn't, because, you know, I'm not colored."

Pause.

"Yeah. We're not calling ourselves that anymore."

"Oh. Yeah. Right. I knew that."

End of conversation.

Friday, February 24, 2006

back in the saddle

Sorry for the absence, gang. It took me a little longer to get settled in here than I thought - long day of rehearsal on Tuesday, then back to work on Wednesday morning. And then, on Wednesday night, I was feeling really bored and really lonely, and I was staring 36 hours of nothing dead in the face. So I took a spur-of-the-moment trip to Sleepy Hamlet (it's only a few hours from Cowtown).

It was just what I needed. I got to see some of my really good friends, and people generally treated me as a conquering hero. And I think my ego needed some stroking. It was a lot of fun. And I was able to come back to rehearsal today in a much better place.

I've got a "friend" in town this weekend, so I can't say that posting here will be the foremost thing in my mind, but I'll try to get on here to tell you about the first few days of rehearsal, as well as tell you my little Safeway story (which ended up resolving itself just fine). Good weekend to all...

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Left Coast

Yes, friends, I'm in "glorious" Cowtown. Actually, I'm currently staying in the 'burbs - the theater I'm working at is currently doing another play, and that play doesn't end for a couple more weeks, and they've got those actors downtown near the theater, so they've stuck me out in the wilderness.

Ahem.

Let me rephrase that.

I'm staying in the guest house of what could be referred to as a mansion. And this guest house is bigger than one-bedroom apartments I've lived in. Fireplace, dishwasher, trash compactor, gas stove, stainless steel and stone everywhere. Un-believe-able. And I can stay here for the whole run, if I so desire. (We'll see how I like the commute.)

So far, so good. And I gotta say...I really like the West Coast. There's something about it that makes me relax, feel at ease. (Does any of that have to do with the fact that it's 60 degrees here in February? Perhaps.) Don't misconstrue what I'm sayin' - still haven't decided NY or LA yet - my latest brainstorm is just to be bicoastal - but Mom & Dad seem pretty resigned to making cross-country trips. Maybe they know something I don't.

First rehearsal in two hours. I'll tell you about my Safeway adventure later...

Sunday, February 19, 2006

finished!

Just finished my last show in Steak City. It was a great run, and I met some cool people. And it looks like they may be doing some shows in the near future which I might be right for. So...don't be surprised if I end up coming back here in the next year or two.

I'm exhausted, but I've got to pack, and I hate packing. My flight doesn't leave 'til t'm'row afternoon, so I keep thinking I've got plenty of time. But a few of us are going out to dinner at 8, and the shuttle's going to pick me up at noon, so I've lot a whole lot less time than I think.

The TV interview on Friday was fine - I think one of my blogger friends caught a piece of it, or at least the teaser. I had to get up at the crack of dawn for the local Fox morning show - gave a very attractive lady a tour of the set, showed her all the bells and whistles. I thought about going all Don Juan on her, but I figured that would probably be pretty tacky of me. Plus, what am I gonna say? "Hey baby, let's go out, but I'm only in town for three more days." Not exactly a great line. Anyway, the PR people were very happy, so it's all good. Hopefully I get a tape of the interview that I can send to my mother.

Next post coming to you from Cowtown, on the West Coast...

Thursday, February 16, 2006

"do you know what the worst STD is? CHILDREN!"


Thanks for the kind words, folks. The depth of my despondency (as if the events weren't enough) had a lot to do with lack of sleep. I got virtually no sleep Monday night, stayed up all day Tuesday, and didn't get enough sleep that night. So I wasn't in any position to deal with any kind of stress.

We've got a crazy schedule this week - student matinees Tuesday through Friday, meaning we play in front of 600 kids (yuk!) at ten in the morning (double yuk!). Then, after each show (filled with sarcastic clapping and text-messaging galore), we have a talkback with some of the students.

And, lately, the kid has been on fire.

He answers questions about whether or not actors should take classes, lies about how behind in school he is, and tells rambling stories about skits he and his sister used to do "when they were kids". When the cast was asked whether or not we were inspired by anyone to get into acting, he replied, "Dave Chappelle".

The rest of us have all decided that he's totally gonna get beat up once he goes to high school - he's one of those kids who can't help but tell you that he's smarter than you, and he's so fucking smug about it you just want to punch him in the face. How this kid comes from such a sweet family, I have no idea. He is who my friend's dad referred to when he said that children were the worst STD known to man.

(I know that it sounds terrible that I'm directing such venom towards an eleven year old, but you've really got to see it to believe it.)

One other thing - I'm going to be on TV Friday morning! I'll be on some Steak City morning news show. Full details t'm'row...

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

blech

All hell broke loose yesterday. I don't want to go into to specifics, but I found myself trying to fend off advances on several fronts. And then, this morning, I found out that one of my classmates passed away. He had been battling cancer for about a year, so it was expected, but it didn't make it any less painful.

Don't feel like writing anymore right now - more later.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

you CAN go home again!

I'm back. Did you miss me?

(So is Bright-Eyes, by the way - go welcome her back. And I added a few new blogs, too - great reading. Check 'em out.)

Went to the Alma Mater to design a new alumni program. I won't bore you with the particulars, but essentially we're mobilizing the young alumni, and we're prepping the current students to enter "the real world" with the tools they need to survive. Told you that I'm all about the kids... We got to speak to some of the students, which was cool, and I got to spend some time with an old friend and meet her supercool new husband.

Anyway, being back there was surreal. 90% of things were exactly the same, and I had been gone for almost seven years. The buildings, the classrooms, even the professors - almost exactly the same. I kept expecting to see my old classmates around every corner. So weird.

Honestly, I felt old. (Sorry, Melissa.)

But the really surprising part was how at home I was. I really felt like I belonged there. I remember how comfortable I felt when I got to campus when I first visited, as a high school senior. I knew, within 15 minutes or so, that this was the school for me. And I kind of had the same feeling yesterday. Don't misconstrue my statement; I've got a lot of things I want to accomplish, and I'm not going to drop those to party like an undergrad again. But I can definitely see a day where I'm heavily involved in that community again. Maybe I could even teach. So, obviously, it was a great visit.

The only thing that sucked was the compressed nature of the trip. I was only in town for about 30 hours, and I was asleep for about a third of that. I had to get up at 4am in order to make my flight, and save for a few minutes of shut-eye on one of the flights, I haven't slept at all. I'll be back in the fall; hopefully I can spend a few more days there then.



Five days left in Steak City. Funny-weird story (as opposed to funny ha-ha): on my way to the airport the shuttle driver wove his way through downtown. I happened to look to my right, and what store do I see?

Cowtown.

Funny-weird, huh? Guess that signals it's time for me to get my act together and get ready to go west... I think it also means that I should eat that steak that's been sitting in my freezer for a couple of weeks.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

kids suck (except for yours, of course)

We had to do a show just for students this morning at 10am. Acting that early does NOT go over well with professional actors, let me tell you. And it was even worse because of the little brats' behavior. Talking and whispering, hooting and hollering at the romantic scenes, breaking out into spontaneous applause towards the end of the play anytime a character said anything...I was totally disgusted. Of course, you expect a little squirminess from adolescents (they are, after all, hormones with eyeballs and feet) but this was ridiculous. It makes you wonder why you do it, quite frankly.

Thankfully, we had a great audience tonight, so I'm not going to quit my job anytime soon.

So...going back to the alma mater on Sunday afternoon. I'm helping with an alumni project, so I'll be in meetings all day Monday, which also means that I'll be flying all of Sunday evening and Tuesday morning - in fact, I have to do another stupid student show that morning, so I'll probably be waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning. SO...I basically don't have a weekend. And, considering that I travel to Cowtown next Monday, and start work the following day, I've got three straight weeks of nonstop action. Nice work, Mr. Genius.

Still soliciting name suggestions...

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

the kid's still in the picture

One other thing I gotta mention...so last night, the kid missed one of his entrances...because he was standing in front of a vending machine, trying to decide what piece of refined sugar to purchase. So now he has to stay in the Green Room at all times.

I was (and I hate to admit it) kinda pleased that he got into trouble, but then I realized that this means I've got to put up with him for another hour - since I stay in the Green Room for the final third of the play. A couple of us are ganging up and trying to put our collective foot down...teaching him manners and such...

Two weeks left. Will we kill him? Stay tuned...

Even the 5-0 likes the Steelers!


This is my favorite picture from the Steelers' victory parade yesterday. It was estimated that 250,000 people showed up yesterday in downtown Pittsburgh to welcome the team home and celebrate their fifth Super Bowl title, and their first in 26 years. Let me repeat that number: a quarter of a million people! Amazing. This demonstrates the extreme love affair the people of the city of Pittsburgh have with their Steelers. It also explains why I am the way I am.

I may be a bit scarce over the next week or so - we have a really crazy run of shows, and then on Sunday evening I'm taking a trip to the dear ol' alma mater. I haven't been back there in seven years, and I'm really excited to make (what I hope is) a triumphant return. More on the details of the trip later...

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I don't wanna...

So...it's that time of day. It's early afternoon, and I've got to go to the gym.

I don't want to go.

I know how vitally important it is for me to stay in shape. There's a history of high blood pressure in my family, and I'm in a career that's all about image, and I even feel better when I've had a good solid workout. But, almost every time I think about going to the gym, I just don't want to do it. Am I just lazy?

To make matters worse, it's Tuesday, which means that my room is scheduled to get a full cleaning, so I HAVE to be out for at least a half hour. So I really don't have a choice. Why can't I be one of those guys who doesn't have to do anything and still wakes up with a perfect six-pack every morning? I mean, I can (and have) woken up with said six-pack, but it takes work for me to get it.

The best motivation for me (other than the things listed above) is that thirty is rapidly approaching, and the men in my family have traditionally found themselves with expanding waistlines after their thirtieth birthdays. And I can't really afford to have that happen. So I have to establish good habits now, rather than waiting until then...and playing catch-up.

All right, all right, I'm going. It's always the anticipation that kills me. I'll feel much better after I'm finished.

Monday, February 06, 2006

the day after

Thanks to everybody for the Super Bowl props. They've been coming in from all over today - even from the one person that I wanted to hear from most (who hates football with a passion). I always find it slightly weird that a sporting event can affect people's moods so much. Still, I have to say that the sun looks a little brighter today.

Please excuse the following sports-related rant:

There are a lot of columnists whining today about how bad calls cost the Seahawks the game. I admit that the officiating left a LOT to be desired (as it has all year), but you still have to win the game on the field. The Seahawks had their opportunities, and they squandered them. The Steelers capitalized on their opportunities. True champions overcome adverse conditions. The Steelers did that all year long.

Okay, rant over...non-sports fans can come back now.

Two weeks left in Steak City, and there's a host of things I want to do. One of my hobbies here is sampling "steak", the food that Steak City is famous for. I've been going to all the best "steak" restaurants in town, usually on Mondays (my day off), and today will be no different. There's also a museum that I REALLY REALLY want to go to, and I've got to investigate the hours and make some time for that.

I've also got to start really watching my budget. I've been pretty good so far, but I spent a lot of money this weekend, and the job in Cowtown is going to pay a bit less than this one. And then, of course, after Cowtown I'm currently looking at three months of unemployment. Anyone wanna be my patron? Or my sugar mama?

Time to get out of my pajamas...

One For The Thumb

I'm exhausted, and a bit (okay, a lot) drunk, but I'm as happy as I've ever been.

The Steelers won Super Bowl XL. They are World Champions.

I don't know what else to say. I wasn't conscious the last time they won - or, at least, I don't have a recollection of it (Jan '80). I just ordered $140 worth of championship stuff. My face hurts from smiling.

THEY DID IT!

Saturday, February 04, 2006

who am i? (what's my name?)

Bonus points if you can tell me whose song title I just ripped off.

So...I'm thinking about changing my handle. Several reasons. Most importantly, there are some people in the world who shouldn't read this. I've learned during this show that I have really wanted to talk about some people, but I'm afraid that they still might be able to find me.

And...when I made this blog, I didn't really think that I would be using it, so I really didn't put any thought into what to call myself. (Or the blog, for that matter, although I love my site, and I really love abbreviating it and calling it F&G.)

SO...I'm thinking about leaving K Lance behind. Of course, you're still welcome to call me that.

The million dollar question, then, is what to call myself?

I'm more than willing to accept suggestions, although, of course, I will make the final decision. The early frontrunner is "SupaStar", for two reasons: one, I'm trying to embrace a positive mindset towards my career; two, it's currently the message on my cell phone.

Let me know what you think, peeps.

And root for the Steelers t'm'row! (technically, today...)

Friday, February 03, 2006

happy blog-o-versary!

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear friedcatfishandcollardgreens...
Happy birthday to you!

That is correct, I've been blogging for a year. So please excuse the excessive back-patting coming from Steak City. I've always been sporatic when it comes to writing (my journals bear that evidence), so it's good for me to have another place to do it.

I wanted to do something special for the occasion, and since I can't buy all of you a round of shots, I decided that I'd do one of those huge "'bout me" posts. So...if you're interested, learn more about K Lance below.

And, speaking of that...I'm thinking about changing my handle. I'll get into that this weekend - I'm going to need distractions from the Super Bowl. A little over 48 hours away...

101 things 'bout me

1. I was born on September 21, in the seventies, in eastern PA.

2. The name of my hometown was made famous by Billy Joel.

3. I started reading just before I turned two.

4. My earliest memory is waving good-bye to the apartment building that my family was moving out of. I was two.

5. Apparently, I was waving from the back seat of my mother's Chevy Nova, sitting in a cardboard box.

6. My brother was born less than a year after that move.

7. A year after he was born, I read that part of the embilical cord stays in the baby's belly button, and eventually shrivels up and falls out. I looked for it in our living room carpet for days.

8. Most of my father's family is in New York City. We used to go up there all the time.

9. We moved to Pittsburgh when I was 6 1/2. When I found out we were leaving, I cried.

10. My favorite part of our house in Pittsburgh was our huge yard - it was a corner lot.

11. It used to look huge. Now it looks so small.

12. My friend and I used to play World Series in the backyard. I was always the Pirates or the Yankees.

13. My first crush was the little girl across the street. She moved to Georgia a couple of years after we got there. Never saw her again.

14. I used to have a love/hate relationship with my little brother. He always wanted to tag along and do everything that my friends and I did.

15. Now I just love him.

16. I got straight A's all through elementary school.

17. The kids used to make fun of me because of that.

18. Sometimes I wished that I didn't get good grades so I could fit in better. I never wished that I was white, though - I always liked being Black.

19. When, in 5th grade, I was put into 6th grade math, I kind of stopped trying, because I felt dumb working on different stuff than everyone else in math class.

20. My best friend Bill and I got into all sorts of scrapes. I wrote about one of them here.

21. He moved away when I was 14. We're still friends, though.

22. I played sports all through childhood.

23. I was terrible through age 12. Then, when I turned 13, the light went on, and I figured out that I was a good athlete.

24. It didn't help that most of the kids in school were a year older than me - probably one of the reason I couldn't keep up athletically.

25. Growing up, I always wanted to be (a) the starting QB for the Pittsburgh Steelers, (b) a point guard in the NBA, or (c) an actor.

26. But when I was 15, I decided I wanted to be a doctor.

27. And when I was 16, I went to Boys' State and Boys' Nation, met President Clinton, and decided I wanted to work in politics.

28. I never really wanted to run for office. I always thought I would make a good press secretary.

29. Politically, I'm left of center - sometimes I call myself a New Democrat, sometimes a Clinton Democrat.

30. I only registered as a Democrat because I felt (and still do) that you have to be part of one of the two parties in order to make an impact in politics.

31. I hate partisan politics with a passion. I just want competant government.

32. Even though I looked for poly-sci programs when I looked at colleges, I refused to go to a school that didn't have a theater program.

33. Of course, I also said that my school needed to be within 2 hours of a major sports franchise.

34. I had a great resume coming out of high school.

35. I was reminded several times during my high school experience, however, that some people in town/school viewed me as "just another nigger".

36. My school was 98% white; I was probably one of 15 Black kids in a school of 1600.

37. And, because of where we lived, I often felt isolated from the Black community.

38. I didn't encounter too much out-and-out racism; it would usually pop up just when I was beginning to feel comfortable.

39. For example, I had to ask three different girls to prom, because their parents didn't want them to go to a dance with a Black kid, despite my impressive resume.

40. The racism stuff affected my brother much more than me. A couple of his real friends would tell him, "Once you leave here, you won't come back." And, except for a couple of days here and there, he hasn't.

41. So, you can understand that I was quite anxious to go away to college.

42. Don't get me wrong...I love Pittsburgh, and I enjoyed high school, for the most part. But it wasn't easy.

43. My father was really worried about money for college, so he had me start looking for schools and scholarships my freshman year.

44. He also took me on a college tour the summer before my senior year, and drove me to my two top-choice schools - and stayed in a hotel overnight while I made my visits.

45. I went to Alma Mater, on a full academic scholarship.

46. To this day, when my father tells people I went there on a scholarship, they ask, "What sport did he play?"

47. I went there because I liked the school, but also because it had a strong Minority Affairs office, with a strong director that I felt would take care of me.

48. He left the school in a dispute one month before I got to campus.

49. Had he been there, I'm convinced that I would have been very involved with the black community on campus. As it was, I ended up on the fringe.

50. Before I went to college, I used to tell people, "I tried really hard to get good grades in HS. I'm going to college for the experience."

51. I really enjoyed my college experience.

52. My grades suffered for it, though. I had a 1.6 GPA at midterms of my freshman year. I thought I was going to flunk out, or, worse yet, lose my scholarship, which meant I would have had to leave.

53. I pulled it together, though - I graduated in 4 years, with a B average, I think.

54. I told myself that I wasn't going to act in college. This was the third time I had tried to walk away.

55. Of course, I ended up being heavily involved in the theater department.

56. When I decided to major in politics, however, I figured that acting would just be a hobby.

57. I thought that, after graduation, I'd try to get a job with Hillary Clinton, since she was running for Senate.

58. I'm hoping that you don't hate me because of my political ideology. I'm always nervous about mentioning it.

59. The turning point of my life was having to read the Starr Report for a Political Ethics seminar.

60. After reading that, I knew that I could never participate in politics - it's too dirty for one person to clean up.

61. I think that I might like to be involved on a local level one day, but that's it.

62. So I had no idea what to do with my life.

63. My girlfriend at the time suggested grad school. So I decided to go for it.

64. I thought I'd just apply to a couple of schools to get a feel for the process, and then really attack it hard the next year.

65. But I got into Grad School, one of my dream schools. So I went the fall after graduating from Alma Mater.

66. I started working professionally during my summers.

67. So that's how I became an actor.

68. During my second summer working in Colorado, I met a girl and fell in love.

69. We dated long distance for two years.

70. I've always been in and out of LDRs my whole life. I don't know why.

71. She moved to Sleepy Hamlet with me after she graduated. Things were perfect.

72. We lived together for five months before things went bad.

73. She needed to figure out what she wanted to do with her life.

74. I was completely crushed.

75. We were off for a few months, but then got back together. The relationship wasn't the same. And then broke up when she moved to NYC, and I stayed in Sleepy Hamlet.

76. We still talk frequently, although we're taking a break from each other right now.

77. I'm still hopeful of things working out, but I'm extremely pessimistic.

78. But I still love her.

79. As a result, I don't want to date anyone long distance for a LOOOOONG time.

80. So now I'm a serial dater.

81. And I like it. For the first time, I realized that girls like me. That's pretty cool.

82. I feel like this should be less of "my life story" and more "fun stuff about me". So I will make the necessary adjustments.

83. I love music. Hip hop is my favorite. You know that if you've seen my hip hop classes. But I like other kinds, too.

84. I played the violin for ten years. But music runs in my family. My father always wanted to be a conductor, and my brother is a musician.

85. My most prized possession is my iPod.

86. I love reading, but I don't get to do it as often as I want.

87. I'm a speed reader. Instead of reading line by line, I read in chunks. It's kind of hard to explain.

88. I'm not embarassed by the fact that I'm pushing thirty and I still watch MTV and play video games.

89. I collect friends.

90. My closest friends tend to be females.

91. I have lots of crushes on lots of women (many of them my friends), and I don't think most of them knew it. Or know it.

92. I have a man-crush on the Pittsburgh Steelers. Then again, so do most of the residents of the Steel City.

93. I am a Virgo, so I'm kind of anal.

94. For example, when I write in my journal, I always read past entries before I write, and I always put the time from my cell phone at the end. And I note if I've changed time zones.

95. I don't like to talk in the mornings.

96. In fact, I really don't like mornings. They're pretty and all, but I'm totally a "night owl", according to my grandmother. Look at the times I post.

97. I love my grandmother more than anyone, except perhaps my mother. But I don't know how to express that to her.

98. In fact, I've only recently started saying "I love you" to my close friends. It's not an easy thing for me to say.

99. As I finish this, my iTunes is playing Musiq's "You Be Alright", which I feel is entirely appropriate.

100. I think, in the end, I will be all right.

101. Thanks for reading this. I hope we can do this again next year.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

check out this blog!

Dear Lord, everybody has a blog these days. Today I'm reading the Post-Gazette, the local paper in Pittsburgh, and guess who's had a blog for almost a year? Steeler QB Ben Roethlisberger. You can check it out here.

250 comments. Steeler fans are crazy.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

4

So...I've been tagged. The culprit? Tuckergurl. This one has been going around; in addition to T, L. Britt and Melissa have also been smacked lately. (Check out their answers by clicking their names.) All right, ladies, you got me. I'll do it.


four jobs i've had

1. official scorer at basketball games. My first job. I made something like $2.50/hr, which was great because I was probably 13 or 14 when I was doing it. A ref yelled at me once because I hit the buzzer after a team scored a basket.

2. server at Boston Market. It was so long ago that it was called Boston Chicken. The pair of khakis that I wore when I worked there smelled like chicken grease for years afterwards...they still might.

3. stock boy at Kay-Bee Toy Store. Worst Xmas job ever. Teacher Barbie was popular that year - amazing what some parents will do to get their kid the season's hot toy. I used to work nights trying to put that store back together - it was a toy store, so it was impossible.

4. camp counselor at the Y. I specialized in the little kids, ages 3 to 7. I could tell you loads of stories about the kiddies...maybe on a rainy day, if you ask nicely. I've decided that every child in the world is cute...until their sixth birthday. Guess it's a preservation thing. Then, things start to change, and nature is not always kind.


four movies i can watch over and over

1. History of the World Part I. I could be performing open-heart surgery; if this movie comes on, I stop what I'm doing and watch the rest of it. Even the edited version with commercials. Hilarious.

2. Coming To America. My brother and I can recite this movie, word for word. The pinnacle of Eddie Murphy's greatness, in my opinion.

3. Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Oh, those crazy Brits.

4. Bad Boys. Much respect to Melissa and her peeps who like the sequel, but I gotta stick with the original. Big ups to Friday and Undercover Brother here too.


four places i've lived

1. Pittsburgh, PA

2. Winston-Salem, NC

3. Boulder, CO

4. Manhattan, NY


four tv shows i love

1. Scrubs. The perfect show, in my opinion. Wacky and zany, but with heart. Zach Braff and Donald Faision crack me up, and I may have a teensy crush on Sarah Chalke and Judy Reyes.

2. The Office. Someday I'll watch the British version, but the American version is pretty damn good. Laugh-out-loud, oh-my-God-did-that-really-happen funny. I always wind up watching it myself, and I always wish I had someone to share it with.

3. 24. Jack Bauer is the greatest TV man who ever lived. And, I'm totally ripping this off from the Sports Guy, but I would totally vote for David Palmer for President. At least, I would have.

4. Chappelle's Show. Such mixed feelings about Season 3. Would Dave want us to watch it? Still, if you've seen the preview on Comedy Central's website, you know it's a must-see.


four places i've vacationed

1. Block Island, RI

2. Charleston, SC

3. London

4. Bandon, OR


four favorite dishes

1. New England clam chowder. There's a place a couple of miles from my grandmother's house - it actually sits on the Atlantic Ocean - that has some of the best chowder I've ever tasted. But I'm also okay with the stuff out of the Campbell's Select can.

2. Mom's fried pork chops. My brother and I drove home one year and walked in the door at 2am. When we came up into the kitchen, my mother was at the stove frying up a batch of these. Best thing I ever tasted.

3. Apple pie. Any apple dessert, really: pie, cobbler, turnovers, doesn't matter. Ice cream, whipped cream, whatever. Long as the apple is baked, and there's a bit of a glaze/sauce, I'm happy.

4. Fried catfish and collard greens. Seriously, did you expect this not to make the list?


four sites i visit daily

1. ESPN's The Daily Quickie. Really, any part of ESPN.com, including the Sports Guy. All the sports news you need in three minutes.

2. MySpace. If this site is a drug, then I'm a crack whore.

3. Desperate Husband. Lots of blogs I read, but only two I have to check in on every day. This is one...

4. Spoke In The Wheel. ...and this is the other. But you should really check out all of the blogs on my sidebar.


four places i would rather be right now

1. Detroit. Super Bowl XL, people. Gotta support the Steelers.

2. Cowtown. Anxious for the next job to start.

3. At my parents' house, sitting around the table with my entire family. I don't get to see them nearly enough, and I miss them desperately. Same goes for my 3 main Sleepy Hamlet peeps.

4. Home. I don't know where that is, but I want one. Now.


who's next?

I really hate tagging people. I'd love to hear what DH and April and Stef and Bright-Eyes have to say, but I'm not gonna force them to do it. But, if you (or anyone else) do put it up, let me know.

Monday, January 30, 2006

late riser

Hope you all don't hate me for writing this, but I've been having a sleeping problem lately. I'm able to sleep just fine...I just can't seem to get out of bed before noon. That's probably because I haven't gone to bed until 5am the last couple of nights.

I fully admit that one of my favorite things about being an actor is not waking up to an alarm - I feel so much better when I can wake up on my own - and I also admit that I'm not a morning person, but I'd still like to be up and at 'em by 10 or so...11 at the latest. So I'm a bit disturbed by this late-to-bed-late-to-rise trend I'm developing.

I even tried a couple of nights ago to go to bed at 2:30, but I just lay there for 30 minutes staring at the ceiling. And I hate that. So I got up and played Playstation for a couple of hours. Does this happen to anyone else?

Gotta go...my show is on.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

"When it comes to the ladies, K Lance doesn't discriminate"

I'm hungry. I'm always hungry after a show, and I actually just scarfed down four chicken wings from Popeye's (which I never eat - still on that healthy diet I talked about so long ago, for the most part). That didn't do it, so I was thinking about heading over to The Cheesecake Factory and ordering something apple-flavored (dumpling or crisp) for dessert - I'm a sucker for apple pie and all of its derivatives - but they closed at 11. So, either I'm having another cup of cocoa, or I have to drive to the 24-hour grocery to satisfy my sugar fix. Neither sounds very good right now.

So, the other night, I had the "conversation" with one of my castmates. This generally happens when I become friends with a Black woman. The conversation goes something like this:

- Sorry, text/message/call from (insert K Lance's female friend's name here). You were saying?

- Mmmmhmmm. So...do you ever date black women?

And then we're off to the races. (haha - sorry, couldn't resist)

Here's the deal. I'm Black (if you're reading this blog, you probably knew that). I grew up in the suburbs, in a town that was 95% white. So, if I was going to have any kind of dating life at all, I basically had to date outside of my race. My parents weren't thrilled with the idea at first - at one point my mother told me that I "better not be bringing any lil' white girls home" - but they eventually came to realize that my brother and I didn't have any other options.

Long story short (and yes, this would be an extremely long story if I took you along every step of my thought process), I don't have a problem dating outside of my race. I believe love is blind. All things considered, I hope that my future wife is a Black woman, but I'm more concerned with finding someone who loves me for me, who treats me with respect, who loves the Steelers, etc. My brother is getting married this summer, and his fiancee is white, and I can't imagine a couple more perfect for each other.

Anyway, I wound my way through the conversation, and was very happy that my castmate was willing to listen to my point of view - she didn't jump down my throat, or make fun of me, or anything else. I mean, she still wants me to date Black women (and may help me make a connection in the future), but she respects where I'm coming from. So we're cool.

Lots more to write about, but I can't shoot my wad all at once.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Chappelle

I miss him. I can't wait to see this (in fact, I'm really pissed that I wasn't in NYC at the time to see it live). And I can't wait to see what he does next.

Real post t'm'row, I promise.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

the reformation

Update: the kid is a little bit less annoying. He's staying on topic, and I've found a great way to combat his ramblings. I just pretend that I'm totally engrossed in whatever I'm doing. He usually keeps spouting whatever he's saying, changing topics every couple of minutes, but he rarely tries to engage me. And, when he does, he's starting to be a bit more respectful, too. So maybe there's hope yet.

Last night we had an opening party, and I was sitting down talking to someone who works on the show when this little girl ran up to me and gave me a big hug. Turns out that she was the kid's little sister! And she is as nice as he is annoying. (I also think she thinks I'm cute, which, of course, is always going to win someone bonus points with me...guess that's because I didn't hear that enough as a kid, but that's another story for another time.) And then Mom came up and introduced herself, and complimented my performance, and asked me to take a picture with the kids.

So...I'm not going to kill him. Yet. Thanks to his family. But I'm reserving the right to change my mind...

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I'm ready for my close-up

There are many parts of being an actor that I like: telling stories, travel, free time and an ever-changing schedule (today, for instance, I woke up at noon). However, there is one thing that I will never ever get used to.

Buying make-up.

It just doesn't really make you feel like a man, know what I'm saying? And I'm pretty secure with my sexuality. But any time you're talking about foundation and powders...wow. Makes me want to run out and eat some meat, drink some beer, and have sex with a couple of women. Immediately.

And the sales people don't help, either. I went into MAC, which apparently makes great make-up, and the three ladies and one man behind the counter were all looking at me like, "what the hell is he doing here?" So of course I'm fumbling with my words, and I feel like I have to tell them that I'm an actor so they won't think that I'm a total idiot. Ick.

Anyway, I got my make-up, so now I can do the show and look pretty. Whoopee.

Monday, January 23, 2006

the case of the unreturned phone call

So...here's something I don't get.

I met a young lady a few weeks ago - I was shopping for pants and she was the lovely sales associate. She was obviously flirting with me - touching my legs and telling me that my ass looked good in the jeans, etc. So, as I was completing my transaction, I asked for her phone number. She gave it to me.

I called her several days later, asking about her weekend plans. She said that she couldn't hang out this weekend because she had a friend in town, but that I should call her again because she really wanted to hang out. I call five or six days later - get her machine - leave a message and my phone #.

No response.

About a week later I call again, leave a brief message and phone #.

No response.

I'm not really inclined to call again, though I did think she was pretty hot, because I kind of get the hint. What I don't get is...why did she give me her number in the first place? Why not just say, "I have a boyfriend," or, "I don't go out with guys I meet at work." Either would have been perfectly considerate, even if they were lies.

I just get annoyed when people don't communicate with me. And I guess the biggest thing for me is that because I really don't know anyone in Steak City, it's much more important for me to meet cool people than for me to score. You know what I mean? So...even if she had agreed to hang out, it wouldn't have necessarily meant that I would have jumped her bones.

Oh well. At least I have the Steelers. They'll never leave me. ;-)

Where are my pants?

My friend Matt and I say this phrase all the time, but apparently some subway riders in NYC took our directive a bit too literally...check it out.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Here we go, Steelers, here we go...

PITTSBURGH'S GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

you were right...

So...'member back when I said that my cast was boring and normal? Well, dear readers, you were right. Some oddities have popped up - and where I least expected them.

Now, before you get all excited, I have to say that there's only a couple of people in the show with me that have shown dicey-ness so far. There's still a few weeks left, so we do have more time. But there's definitely one prime offender.

The problem is that this offender is about twelve. And he's one of the brattiest kids I've ever met. He has an answer for everything. He uses big words. He's given me acting notes. Let me repeat that last one...

HE'S GIVEN ME ACTING NOTES!

I've been acting longer than he's been alive! And he always has all these crazy suggestions for the director. And the rest of us are looking around like, "Who the hell is this?" He even managed to get into a yes-you-did no-i-didn't discussion once.

If he were 22, I'd slap the shit out of him - and I'm not a violent person. But, obviously, I can't hit a minor. So...what can I do to this kid that will be (a) fun for me and (b) not emotionally or physically scarring for him? Suggestions are welcome...I'll think of a cool prize for the winner...

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

TV

Living in a hotel room and not being called to work leaves me a lot of time to watch television. And, though the experience pales to my old Moxi box in the Sleepy Hamlet, I still find some decent stuff on the boob tube every now and then. For instance, my favorite comic strip in the world, The Boondocks, is now part of the Adult Swim block on Cartoon Network. Pretty funny show - black family living in the 'burbs, trying to adjust. Hmmm...why does this sound so familiar? Anyway, the show is worth checking out, and the strip is absolutely brilliant. Let me know what you think.

I also keep seeing an old classmate of my on the tube. First it was on some MTV show, then a commercial, and tonight it was on Law & Order (along with another woman I acted with several years ago). Amazing. She only went to my school for one semester, and I didn't know her that well, but I never would have expected her to become an actor. Of course, I never thought that I'd be doing this for a living, either.

That's it for now. My one-year blogging anniversary is approaching...I'll have to do something special...suggestions are welcome...

Monday, January 16, 2006

King Day

Today at Fish & Greens we're celebrating the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. If you're fortunate to have the day off from work (I do, but I always have Mondays off), take some time to reflect on WHY.

When I was a kid, Dr. King was my ultimate hero. I felt so personally connected to who he was and what he did. I knew the stories of the '50s and '60s well, and had heard many stories from my parents and extended family. (My mother, who grew up in Virginia, recalls drinking out of "colored" water fountains as a little girl, which, to this day, still blows my mind.) Growing up in the lily-white suburbs, I knew that his work was the reason why I had the opportunities I did. And I always felt that, as the only black kid in the school, I needed to promote and defend his work.

One year, in elementary school (think it was 3rd or 4th grade), I realized (on January 14) that there probably wasn't going to be anything done by my teacher to celebrate MLK's b-day the next day. So I volunteered to write a paper and present it to the class. The teacher was very excited by my request and agreed. Of course, then I had to go home and actually WRITE the paper, and I ended up exasperating my parents by procrastinating and staying up all night. At one point I remember being really pissed off that I had agreed to do this - here I was, busting my tail for no extra credit, and why was I doing this?

I felt really good the next day, however, when I read my little paper to the class. It couldn't have been more than a page, but I think that people actually listened to me, and hopefully they got something out of it. And, more importantly, I got something out of it. It was one of the few times in elementary school that I was truly proud of who and what I was.

So, to quote the title of a book popular during my youth: "Thank You, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.!"

Sunday, January 15, 2006

YES!

Steelers 21, Colts 18.

My nerves are shot.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

new computer, please

Up late with the computer again, this time trying to back up some files and clear some space from my almost-filled hard drive. (Warning: slight techno-speak here.) I've got a partitioned hard drive, and of course I've got a sizable amount of space on the secondary one, but no space on the main one, and I don't know how to put them together. Any ideas?

I really just want to buy a new computer, but all this new technology is coming out in the next six months, and I think I should just wait, because the last thing I'll want is an outdated computer. If this crashes again in the next six months, though, I'm just gonna bite the bullet.

I have other stuff to post about, but I'll save it for t'm'row...need to get my rest for the game...I mean, work. GO STEELERS!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

"I'm so mad I could just spit"

Up late and pissed because the DVD player on my computer isn't worth shite. It keeps stopping and starting, and there's no way I can watch a movie through that.

(The title is a phrase my mom uses when she's upset.)

I've been planning to buy a new laptop sooner rather than later, and I was going to make the switch to Apple, but now they've introduced these new faster computers, and I don't want to buy old & busted and miss out on the new hotness. What's a boy to do?

Guess I'm just going to go to bed with my movie jones unsatisfied. Looks like I wasted $13 - you're welcome, Hollywood Video.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

If you ever played Nintendo as a kid...

...you'll appreciate this hilarious re-creation of Mike Tyson's Punch Out!!! Great game, and great video - can't believe they got people to play the music!

Housekeeping

I have to mention that I absolutely hate rock salt. I don't know if it's because it makes the road white, or how it feels underfoot, or what. It makes me feel icky.

I believe that The Rover's itinerary for 2006 is set. It's all subject to change, of course, based on potential jobs or vacations or defaulting on my student loans, but this looks like the general picture.

Jan - mid Feb: Steak City. You already knew that.

mid Feb - mid Apr: Cowtown, on the West Coast. Doing more Shakespeare. Good times.

late Apr: a triumphant return to Sleepy Hamlet - see the old peeps and show my old bosses that I'm actually feeding myself by working.

May - July: New York Fuckin' City. Home sweet home. I'd love to housesit for someone, if possible. (I can tell you that I'm going to NYC because 8 million people live there - much less of a chance of someone putting two and two together...of course, now that I've said that...)

early Aug: Sleepy Hamlet. Doing some work for the kids. I'm all about the kids.

mid Aug - mid Oct: Going to a West Coast city to do the same Great American Play I'm doing in Steak City - only this time, I'm playing a much bigger part. Think I'm going to call this locale "The Strip", because both times I've been there I've thought, "This town is one big dirty strip mall!" Survival there will be fun.

mid Oct - Dec: LA. Gotta go live the dream, right? Besides, I can't take winter anymore. Looking for housesitters here, too.

Wow, looking at this list, it just hit me: I really am homeless!

I'm really hoping that I'll be able to take some type of exotic vacation sometime in the summer. Any suggestions? I could even come visit some of my blogger pals...

Dating part 2

Thanks for the thoughts/comments on my previous post on this topic. I promised an explanation...

What complicates matters is the situation surrounding my previous relationship. I met her away from my home base and dated her long-distance for 2 years. We had a couple of chunks of time together during that timespan (three months being the longest), but otherwise it was long weekends and week-long vacations.

After two years she moved to Sleepy Hamlet (where I had started working) and we moved in together. Four months after she got there she was telling me she wasn't sure that she wanted to do this anymore. We took a break, and eventually broke up, which began an off-again on-again cycle that, truthfully, continues to this day.

So...my reluctance to commit to a relationship is also linked to this. I was in a long-distance relationship, and when we finally got together, things blew up in my face. I'm smart enough to know that every relationship is different, but I don't want to end up in that situation again. I'd rather establish a strong foundation to the relationship and then test it on the road. I'm just not sure that two months is enough to create that.

With all that said, I'm having a great time being single. I really like not having to answer to anyone but myself. If I feel like going out with some girl I just met on the internet, I'll do it. If I want to sit in my hotel room and watch bad movies for six nights straight, I will. I've spent most of my adult life in relationships, so this past year has been a lot of fun for me, and I think that this year will be even better.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I made a new friend!

(Full disclosure...I'm blogging after having a few drinks, so I may be a little looser than normal...)

Very exciting... I must admit that I've been going through a down phase here...as nice as all of the people in the cast are, I just haven't really clicked with anybody, and I've really just wanted to go and hang out with some cool people, get a couple of drinks, talk about whatever Gen Yers talk about, etc.

And tonight, thanks to MySpace, I did just that. Met a very cool girl and some of her friends - spent two and a half hours just hanging out. She told me that I "passed the test", and said that she'd call this weekend with more activities. So now I finally have someone to hang out with in Steak City!

I can't let this go without commenting...I really have a crush on this girl. She's really really cool, and totally gorgeous. But she kept mentioning other guys she had crushes on. Now, I know that she was telling one of these stories because she hadn't seen her friend in a while. But I was totally getting mixed signals all night. I'm not looking for a life partner here - I'm only in town for six more weeks - but I wouldn't mind making out with her. Suggestions on how to proceed, or should I forget the whole thing and just enjoy having non-work friends?

Monday, January 09, 2006

Why I'm Going to Hell

Dating Part 2 will come t'm'row. But first, an aside.

So...I've been trading stories with a friend of mine lately, and I told one that was so good, she thought I should share it with the world. Maybe this could be my opportunity to start a meme - people are always on the receiving end of them, but I never see any of them start. You could tell your best fish out of water story, or a gaff from childhood that would get you into real trouble as an adult; or, better yet, answer this question: are you going to heaven, or hell, and why? (Though that seems a bit serious.)


Anyway, the story:

When I was about 8 or 9, I pretty much lived at the house of my best friend Bill. He and I went to different elementary schools, but we always hung out together, usually playing a lot of sports, which he always seemed to win - he's one of those annoying good-at-everything types. He was also one of those advanced kids - teaching you new things about sex (which half of the time were wrong) or new bad words. (This was probably because he had two older sisters, one of whom frequently had boyfriends around the house who thought we were the coolest.) And his family always introduced us to new hip things - their instincts are uncanny. Now the term "Dr." is in front of his name, and he's got a beautiful wife and a beautiful house, and he looks like Tom Cruise.

Anyways, we frequently had sleepovers, usually at his house. One Saturday night our parents decided that I would stay over at Bill's and then we would go to a baseball game the next day. Being a huge baseball fan at the time, I jumped at the chance.

One sticking point: the day of the game was Sunday, and Bill's family was Catholic. No problem - I would just go to church with his family, we'd change in the van, and then we'd go to the game. Simple, right? One problem...I had never been to Catholic Mass before.

We get to the church, and Bill is trying his best to tell me what everything is. We passed a little basin of water on the wall and Bill dipped his fingers in and crossed himself. I just kind of looked. Bill told me it was something that I had to do. I found time later to sneak back and do it.

We sat in the back of the church for the mass, inexplicably away from his parents. Bill told me when to kneel on the...kneeler, when to pray, what to sing, etc. I remember feeling totally lost the whole time. But I did my best to keep up. All of a sudden people were getting in line while singing. Bill got up too, and pulled me up, saying, "I'm going to go get some of the wine. It's really good!"

I was horrified. Bill was talking about ALCOHOL! ALCOHOL was for grown-ups, not kids like me and him! What was he doing? Nevertheless, since he's got one of those compelling, leadership-type personalities, I got up and followed him in line. I was really nervous...I didn't know what to expect.

As I got closer to the front, I noticed that the priest at the front of the line didn't have a cup; rather, he was giving people what looked like little white cards. (I remember feeling relieved at this, since I wasn't going to have any ALCOHOL.) And the men and women who received those cards bowed their heads, and then as they walked away they placed them in their mouths - actually, I thought, under their tongues. My family had stopped going to church regularly a couple of years before, but I never remembered seeing anything like this before. Of course, when I got older, I realized that the line I was in was to receive Communion - the wafer representing the body of Christ, and the wine His blood. At the time, however, I was a little nervous about putting something so cardboard-like in my mouth. I knew that white people did things differently than us black folk, but this was a little ridiculous. The simple thing to do, of course, would have been to get out of the line and go back to my pew. But I already felt out of place, and I didn't want to do anything to call attention to myself. So I stayed on, continuing my march forward.

As I reached the front of the line, the priest smiled at me, as adults do towards children, you know, to make them feel important, and handed me the wafer. I have no idea what was going through his mind at the time. Because I didn't want to be rude, I took it, and as I walked away I pushed the wafer towards my mouth as if I was going to put it in. But, being a clever little boy, I managed to palm the wafer and put it in my pocket!

By the way, in case you didn't know, you can't receive Communion in a Catholic church without having been confirmed by the Church. I'm not 100% sure, but I think it's a pretty big sin. And what happened next was an even bigger sin. I sat through the rest of the service, and then, as we walked back out to the van, I decided (much like with the basin of water) that I should at least try and do something. I put the tiniest bit of wafer into my mouth. My suspicions were confirmed - it tasted like nothing, or white bread. I couldn't leave the thing in my pocket, and my hand was getting sweaty from carrying it. So I did what any 8 or 9 year old would do...I left it on the ground in the parking lot.

Yes, that is correct: I threw away the body of Christ.

I'm hoping that, when I get to the gates of Heaven, the Lord will cut me a break for that one.

HERE WE GO, STEELERS, HERE WE GO!

Steelers won yesterday, 31-17. Amazing how their wins and losses can affect my mood. Anyway, give it up for the Black & Gold...

Thanks for the people who commented on the dating post, both here and to my inbox. The next post will answer some of your questions...

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Dating

Hard to post when you have company in town. But now my company has left :-( so I'm back.

It's always hard for me to write in this blog because I want to remain anonymous, to some extent. This is primarily for two reasons: one, there are a couple of people in the world with whom I do not wish to share my innermost thoughts and feelings; two, it's easy enough to find my real name and picture on the internet, and since the business I'm in is all about image, I don't want to match something up with my name that isn't going to help me get to where I need to go.

That being said, I think I need to stop self-censoring myself here, especially concerning my dating life. The commentors on here that I know in real life probably know all about which girl or girls I'm talking to at any given time, and they're not going to make things any more complicated for me. (Right, guys? Thanks.) And, since dating has been such a big factor/stressor in my life over the past year, I should be writing about it. So, without further ado...

I'm in a situation where, for at least the next year, if not for the forseeable future, I'm going to be living in different cities every couple of months. Several years ago I decided that if I was ever going to be in a position where I was going to be a working actor who could support a family, I was going to have to spend several years on the road developing my career and making contacts. That way, when I decided to settle down in one spot, I would be able to use my contacts to find work, and hopefully I could spend three months on the road a year instead of nine. I could also have a stable home life and a steady stream of income (if that's possible). Then I could buy a house, have kids, etc.

At the time, I was dating a woman who I was convinced was on board with my plan. We discussed marriage, planned our future; I knew, with every fiber of my being, that she was going to be Mrs. Rover. That's no longer the case; in fact, distance was a major factor in the ending of our relationship. And so now I've entered the dating world, which is loads of fun, but I now realize that I'm just not in any one place long enough to develop a relationship with anyone. Six to eight weeks really isn't any kind of basis to start a long-distance relationship, is it? Especially when you don't know where you're going to be in six to eight months.

So now I'm in this relationship purgatory, where I meet wonderful women, where sparks fly and the chemistry is palpable, but where's there's just not enough time to really get into things. As a result, I have all of these half-finished relationships, some more serious than others, but all of them essentially unfulfilling. What's a boy to do?

I'll be providing more information on this topic when I can form my thoughts a bit better, but for now I'd love to hear some reaction to this...

Sunday, January 01, 2006

2006!

It's been a busy weekend - I have a visitor in town - so I don't have a whole lot of time, but I wanted to make sure to wish all of you and yours a healthy and happy New Year.

I'm not really one for New Year's resolutions, but I went to a Solstice Party a couple of weeks ago, and I'll share with you my list of "things I want to usher into my life" in 2006:

- truth with tact (but err with the truth)
- a passionate loving relationship with the gym
- the confidence of being a working Equity actor
- maintaining/introducing positive relationships
- communication - clear and open and honest
- vegetables 4-5 times per week
- the bravery to enter new places and situations with grace and openness
- health insurance!
- acting work that I am excited about.

Happy New Year, people. I gotta go...there may be a hot chick on my bed...