alternative direction

Spent all day watching football - the first day of the year is like Christmas for me. What made it even better was that, for the first time in years, I was able to do it with family. I went up to my brother's place in Westchester and we gorged ourselves on pizza and wings and Sprite and football. Good times.

Now, normally, would I feel a little bit bad about spending my entire Sunday watching TV? Yes. Even though I've been a football fan since birth, there's always something a little odd about spending 11 hours in front of the boob tube. It kind of makes me want to run-not-walk to the nearest gym and do crunches until I throw up.

But today was a little different.

I've been hired, on a provisional basis, to write about football by a new website. And not by some amateur effort, either - these guys are honest-to-goodness professional sports journalists. I'm going to do a few trial assignments for them and then, if everything goes well, they'll move me up to the big time. There's no pay in it for me yet, but there very well could be in the future, if things work out the way these guys want it to. And they've got a pretty good plan.

I've really been looking for something creative to do that suppliments my acting income. Writing is something that I've always dabbled in, and it's really flexible (a must, with my schedule), so it was natural to look for something in that area. And to get to write about football? It really doesn't get any better than that.

This won't take away from my blogging (or lack of it, ha ha); I'm hoping that it will actually push me to write on here more often, in an effort to keep the engine warm. Once things get going, I'll post a link to the site, so that you can read my (hopefully) insightful comments.

So, you see, my little football-watching orgy was totally justified. I'm still going to the gym t'm'row (more on that later), but I won't be working off the guilt. And that feels great.

Hope that everyone had a great weekend.

Steelers win!/a weird feeling (not related)

New season, same result. I am a very happy boy this evening.

Just finished writing an e-mail to my old roommate in Brooklyn. Here's the situation: she told me that I needed to pay her for my share of the bills. I paid it online. The money disappeared from my account. Now she's telling me that she never got the money, etc.

She's a nice girl, but my bullshit detector is going off - something just isn't right about this. I'm trying to work through my bank to get this resolved, but I'm refusing to give her another check, because (1) I don't have a good feeling about this, and (2) even if I didn't, I can't afford to. I'm barely scraping by as it is.

Chalk another one up to the heartless bastard! ;-)

Two parties this weekend. I like parties because I don't have to spend money at them. Probably won't be as adventurous as last weekend. I'll keep you posted.

on the road again...again

Another airport post. Ho hum. Second nature by now - this is my fifth flight in the past three weeks. Once I get home, I get to go five weeks without flying. Or packing a suitcase. How exciting!

Went to a friend's wedding in Denver this weekend. I really like Denver. Spent a few summers here. The city's got a great vibe, and I have more friends here than I think. I'd jump at an opportunity to do some work out here - anybody got anything?

The wedding was a lot of fun - I met the coolest woman ever. The bride (my old friend) had been telling me for years that I needed to meet this lady - "Have I got a girl for you! You'll love her!" And, of course, I did love her. I hate it when my friends are right. Another reason to work out here, right?

Also got a chance to hang out with Little Miss Runner Pants this weekend - she was in town visiting an old friend. We went to a "dueling piano bar", which is much more fun than it sounds, and then braved drunken crowds and horny drunk guys (her friend gave out her number twice in five minutes, and we also managed to get some free fries) at a diner.

I drank copious amounts of alcohol on both nights and got about 11 total hours of sleep. So I'd call that a successful weekend.

A handful of random thoughts:

- Thanks much for the kind words of support. I'm no longer guilt-wracked, though I do feel badly. The decision was made for the right reasons, and I try to remind myself of that whenever I think that I'm a jerk.

- Is my football team star-crossed or what? Big Ben has to get his appendix out and is going to miss two games. Crazy. Even though they won the whole shebang last year, I still live and die with this team. Incredible.

- Speaking of football, I watched three episodes of "Two A Days" on MTV yesterday while I was waiting to get pretty for the wedding (I was trying to nap, but it just didn't happen). I highly recommend it. You get the inside look at high school football, plus all of the high school are-you-looking-at-my-boyfriend drama. I'm totally hooked. Just when I think MTV is starting to pass me by...

- My birthday is coming up, and I'm looking for a fun group activity that won't cost an arm and a leg, and also facilitates conversation. Any ideas? Is bowling still considered fun?

i AM an asshole...

I feel like such a shit.

Remember GISS (Girl I'm Sorta Seeing)? I broke things off with her tonight. We've had kind of a funky relationship - opposite coasts for the past eight months. We were never really together (hence the "sorta" label), and I was always really honest with her - about how I felt, what I was doing, if I was dating, etc. People would always ask me about the future of the relationship and I would always say, "We'll see what happens when we get into the same place." Just tried not to worry about it, you know? We'll see what happens down the road.

But then, about a week ago, I had a conversation with her, where she mentioned three things:

1. Her sister felt like we shouldn't be talking, because I was bad for her.

2. GISS would get extremely jealous of me spending time with other girls.

3. We had been doing...this...whatever...for almost a year.


It was the third one that really got me. Here I am, in this quasi-relationship for a year, and where is it going? Do I really want to be with this person? Is she the love of my life? Am I in love with her?

Sometimes, when you start asking the hard questions, you wish you hadn't asked them.

And then, there's this (and no way for me to say it without sounding like a dick): I think she was more into it than I was. And for a while (until last week) I merely took the position, "Well, she's a grown woman, and I'm telling her the truth, so that's on her." But then my brother made an excellent point - if you care about someone, are you really going to do things that hurt them? "If you don't give a shit," he said, "then keep doing what you're doing. But if you really care about her, you probably shouldn't let things go too much farther, if you don't think you're going to end up with her."

She's awesome - she treated me very well, supportive, sent me care packages, likes sports, and...well, I was very happy with our "quality time"...like off the charts happy. But there were little things that got on my nerves, and at the end of the day...she's a great woman, but I just don't think she's for me. So I had to pull the trigger. Which I've only had to do twice before in my whole life - girls normally break up with me. I thought it was supposed to be easier on this side...

When will I stop feeling like an ass?

a good trip

Hello! Anybody out there?

Either my life is no longer compelling (a distinct possibility) or summer has pulled everyone away from their computers and into the great wide open. Which is not necessarily a bad thing.

Back from a great trip home. My brother showed up, too, so all of us were together, which doesn't happen very often. I got to go to a baseball game, see some old high school buddies, and make a couple of work connections. I think there's a decent chance that I may actually get to work near my hometown. That would make my mother's year.

The only thing that sucked was my plane flight home - we were delayed for an hour and a half due to inclement weather in New York. I generally don't mind airports, but I've been travelling so much lately that I just want to get where I'm going as quickly as possible. So I wasn't a happy camper. But I made it back safe and sound, and that's what's important.

I probably should go to bed, or work on the sides for my upcoming audition, but I'm too antsy. I was hoping to go out with a friend tonight, but I think she's probably headed to bed. And I don't really have anyone in the neighborhood that shares the kind of hours I do. (Actually, I really don't have any friends in the neighborhood.) So I guess I'll just aimlessly surf the internet for a while, until I feel like falling asleep. Anyone know of any new exciting blogs I need to look at?

have computer, will blog

I always get excited when there's free wi-fi in an airport. Then I feel like an on-the-scene reporter, giving you a close-up into my life. Unfortunately, it's not all that exciting lately.

So I'm sitting at JFK, waiting to fly home for the weekend. Should be good times. I've got an audition for one of the hometown theaters, and the fam and I are going to go to a baseball game, so I can finally see New Hotness Stadium. The city built it a few years ago, but I've never been home during the summer (this is actually the first summer I haven't had an acting job in seven years, which is a ridiculous streak), so I'm pretty excited.

And, of course, I'm flying the world's most perfect airline, JetBlue. Buttery leather seats, extra leg room, DirecTV...this is how you're supposed to fly. And I get to fly them next weekend, too! Almost makes me WANT to travel. Almost.

Catch y'all on the flip side.

road weary

I realized, while talking to a friend last night, that I've set myself up to fly places two weekends in a row.

There are some days where I just get tired of living out of a suitcase.

shocker!

Went to see SNAKES ON A PLANE this afternoon with my lil' bro.

Um...

Yeah...

Well...

...it was actually good!

Not, like, Oscar good. But good in a popcorn kind of way. Satisfying, if you will. A classic disaster film - you know what you're going to get, and it does it fairly well. It also helped that our audience was fantastic. If you can hear people commenting on the commercials, or actually booing the previews, you are in good hands. It's got to be a group that's willing to applaud when they see the title on screen, and whoop it up, etc.

So...(I can't believe I'm saying this)...I think you should go see it! Seriously.

aftermath (sleepy)

If I could have only posted when I left the house of my X...I was full of insightful comments and remarks. Then came an hour ten on the subway. So, all I have to say is this: we're still going to talk, but not as often, and not about things that will make each other crazy (i.e. our dating lives).

Mostly a good conversation - not contentious, though very sad at times. I guess the worst thing, for me, is that I kinda feel like I want to be in a relationship with her, that most of the problems that we've had in the past have come from (a) insecurity or (b) not being completely honest. And those are VERY hard things for me to admit - especially when the rest of the world thinks that this relationship is a bad idea.

That's all for now - I'm so tired I actually fell asleep on the train. That never happens. More later.

In other news...

...go to www.shaveeverywhere.com - then report back. Funny shit.

blech!

That is the sound of me spilling my guts.

I'm a journaler - a person who journals, whatever. And whenever I write in my journal, I have a little ritual. I look at the date I last wrote something, and then I look at the current date, and then I read all entries in my journal between those dates, in chronological order. Example: if I'm writing today, and I last wrote on July 14, I'll read everything dated between 7/14 and 8/17, starting in 2000 and working my way back to the present.

I do this because it's nice to see what was going on in my life at those times. Sometimes I detect patterns - relationship drama in June, for instance, or money woes in November - and sometimes I feel like I have no connection to the words I wrote just a year or two before. And, occasionally, I may read entries from other dates. Then I make my entry into the journal, and that's that.

Today I received some news concerning my X that, while not unexpected, nonetheless completely threw me for a loop. I put on a brave face, but I was pretty upset. And I stewed in my bad mood all evening - South Park and Drawn Together and Colbert doing their best to pull me out of it. I knew I was going to write about what I was feeling, and I was thinking of writing each emotion on a different line. And I thought, "Hey, I did that before." So I went back into my journal and found that entry - January 4, 2004. Three days after X and I broke up.

And guess what?

The words on the page...matched the exact feelings I was going through tonight.

Which is completely, utterly ridiculous.

This is an excerpt. ( I said I was spilling my guts, right?)

...I guess I'm feeling so many different things right now I can't tell what's valid and what's crap. Just making a short list, I feel:

- sad
- angry
- rejected
- free
- lonely
- unworthy (of love/human affection)
- jealousy
- nothing

I could go on, but I fear the list makes me look crazy...

...I guess I'm just frustrated, because I did my homework. I went back to NY and I partied and dated and hooked up with girls, and now I know that I want to be w/X. And it was hard for me to do all of that stuff, and I beat myself up over it every step of the way, but I did it, and I learned a lot, and I found out the answer. And I finish the exam and hand it it...and when I look back at X's paper, she's barely finished the first question. So am I suppposed to sit here and wait for her to finish? I want to be with her, but I want to be with her now. And if I'm not with her, I have to start getting over her...

...Here's what I don't get - if you love someone you want to be with, why would you let them go? I don't know exactly what X has to do - is it just other guys? - but why can't she do it while she's with me? I'm tired of thinking about this and dealing with this...


OK, it's not an exact match, but it's pretty close.

So, tonight, I decided that, no matter what happens when I see X on Friday, something has to happen. I don't know which direction I'm going to go - but I have to go somewhere. It's been two and a half years of standing still. Inertia. It has to stop.

I've never shared anything from my journal before. Thanks for reading. And, hey, keep it to yourself, all right?

next stop: QNS

Leaving Sleepy Hamlet t'm'row. I really thought about staying for a few extra days - one of my best friends is coming up for the weekend - but I just can't do it. I feel like I've built up a lot of momentum from my time here, and sitting on my butt for three or four days might slow me down. So I need to get back to the city and really go for it.

8 weeks left in NYC. I was supposed to go to a city college and perform and teach, but it overlapped with a job I'm doing in Cowtown at the end of the year, so I turned it down. A reprieve for Queens! Now I need to decide whether or not I should take a job.

Flying all day t'm'row, so you'll hear from me on Wednesday.

Bad blogger!

My hand should be slapped, 'cause I've been so bad with blogging lately. But, finally my 17-hour-a-day job is completed. I'll be spending a couple more days in Sleepy Hamlet, and then it's back to NY for a couple of months.

The thing that I'm most excited about is having a drink. Due to some ridiculous rules, I wasn't allowed to consume ANY alcohol at all while working in this program. So you know that I'm gonna have a couple of drinks tonight. Sweet sweet beer...how I've missed you...

I keep misspelling words, which is a sign to me that I need to take a nap. More soon (for reals)...

missed connection

When I was in Sleepy Hamlet back in April, I met this girl that I've been chatting with for a year on MySpace (we've actually got a friend in common, so it's not all THAT shady.) We only hung out for an hour or so at a really loud bar, but we totally hit it off, and there was a definite strong physical attraction. I'm not really into sleeping with someone right after meeting them, but I think that it may have happened had we spent a few more hours together.

So we continued e-mailing, but a few weeks after I left she got back together with her old boyfriend. They've been kind of off-again on-again, so I didn't think too much of it. And I thought, hey, when I come back to the Hamlet, they might not even be together. Maybe she could be Mrs. Rover.

(I've had this thing, ever since The Wedding of the Century, that I wonder who Mrs. Rover is. Have I met her before? Is it someone from my past? There's some stat that says that 95% of people have met their future spouse by age 25. Who is she? I'm not in a rush to settle down...but I'd really like to know who she is.)

Anyway, I let her know that I was back in town, and she sent me a cryptic e-mail, and I replied, and she wrote back with confirmation - she's pregnant. Guess that's not going anywhere, huh? I'm sure I'll still talk to her. This wasn't anything that I was banking on - I'm just a smidge disappointed because I was really interested to see where this would have gone. But, hey, best of luck to her and the baby and the baby daddy.

Besides, I've got a lot of ex-flames to see in this town. More on this soon...

Films About Ghosts

If dreams are like movies, then memories are films about ghosts...
- Counting Crows

It's always weird, coming back to the Hamlet. I have such mixed feelings about this place. On one hand, it's great to see all of my old friends, and go to my favorite restaurants, and see the awesome cocktail waitress at my bar. But on the other hand, the ghosts of my friends who are gone float over everything that I do. I suppose that it might be better if these friends would come up and visit at the same time as me. But, alas, we can never seem to work the kinks in our schedules out.

Did a lot of odds and ends today - dentist, eye doctor. Visited an old friend (who I've had the biggest crush on for the longest time, but it's not gonna happen). Had coffee with a colleague to learn more about this program I'm doing. Talked to an old flame. Chased internet access - how will I survive two and a half weeks without internet in my room? It's not possible.

More soon. Especially if I can figure out a way to get online in my dorm...

wake up, hamlet!

Big family BBQ yesterday. Good times. Good eats. Meat of all shapes and sizes - my brother even made a lamb burger at one point, which was high comedy. If you missed it...well, it's your loss, 'cause we all had a great time.

Off to Sleepy Hamlet t'm'row for three weeks of educating the youth of America. It's going to be weird being back there for a long period of time. My previous trips, I could rationalize not being involved in the shows: "I've got a couple of days off," or, "I haven't started rehearsal yet." But there will be no getting around the reality this time. I'm not sure how it will feel.

Not that I've been a champ at posting anything lately, but my presence online will be even more sporadic while I'm there - I'm pretty much working 16 hour days, so I'll be pretty exhausted when computer time comes around. I'll try to put short blurbs up, but don't expect too much of my keen insights or anything. (This, of course, means that you'll be treated to three straight weeks of thousand-word posts.)

Keep it real...

Weather Woes

It's SO hot in New York City.

Tonight, while I was trying to get home to Queens, we had a crazy experience where a train stopped and made everyone get off several stations ahead of the end of the line (to make matters worse, the station was outside, so we all had to leave the air-conditioned train whooshing us to our homes and stand in the still, muggy, soupy air). And then, after about 15-20 minutes, they brought in a new subway car on a different level, so we all ran down the steps and got situated in the new car. And THEN, after 5-10 minutes in the new car, the conductor announced that the train was actually going the OTHER way, so we all had to get off again and run back up the stairs and squeeze our way onto a jam-packed train. I actually had a little girl standing on my foot.

So, as you can imagine, I was a happy camper when I got home.

The weather is putting a lot of stress on the electrical grid. We had flickering lights several times this evening, and there were reports that there was a fire underground (I actually did see smoke pouring out of a manhole, which is not something you expect to see in July; January, maybe). I live in constant fear that my AC is going to shut off. If that happens, I won't sleep at all, I can promise you that.

This heat makes me anxious for my three-week sojourn to Sleepy Hamlet to educate the masses. I leave a week from today - technically, now it's six days...

An Inconvenient Truth...

...is an excellent movie. You should see it. Democrat, Republican, Socialist, Communist, whatever. We only get one planet, people. Let's try not to fuck it up too badly.

www.climatecrisis.net

Let me know what you think of it.

lazy summer/phone numbers

So...you may have noticed that I haven't been posting as much lately.

(Pause while you scroll down the page and verify that fact.)

And, if you're got a really sharp memory, you may remember that I didn't post a whole lot last summer, either.

(Pause while you flip through last year's archives to verify that fact.)

There's just something about hot weather that makes me...well...lazy. I feel like I can't get anything accomplished. I just want to lay around all day drinking refreshing beverages, like mango lemonade, or a cool Corona w/lemon. Hence, my writing suffers.

This fact is really frustrating when it comes to my journals. I look back to see what I was up to and I find whole months missing. It's kind of like being out of touch with a person for a month or two. If I could travel back in time, I would visit my then-self and gently remind him to write down what he was thinking/feeling, so that we could remember it later.

I'd also tell him to bet heavily on the Steelers in '05.

---------------

New topic.

Yesterday I got phone numbers from two ladies. Actually, if I'm being accurate, I got a phone number from one young woman, and gave my phone number to the second.

Pretty pimpish, right?

However, I must confess my reasons for doing so.

I did not ask for their numbers solely because they were hot chicks that I wanted to get with - although I do.

I really asked for their numbers to prove a point to myself. Mainly, that it's ok for me to start talking to someone that I don't know. I'm sure that I've asked dozens of women for their numbers in the past, but more often than not the relationship has been facilitated by another person - frequently the woman whose number I receive.

I'm just not good at starting a conversation. A couple of my female friends keep telling me, "You're attractive enough so that you should be able to walk up and start talking to anyone you want." I don't believe them.

And the other thing is...I just don't want to be seen as the skeezy guy who rolls up and says, "You know, I like every muscle in your body. Especially mine." Or, "Excuse me, miss. Are those space pants you're wearing? Because your ass is out of this world!" Not that I'd roll up with lines like those, but I feel like women can smell a man hitting on them a mile away.

So what ends up happening is, to avoid becoming the skeezy guy, I make myself seem like the really nice and friendly guy. Someone who is nice, and caring, and sensitive (but still manly). And then I make my move. Except that, 90% of the time, I get trapped in the Friend Zone.

NOOOOOOOO!

(Note: I really am that nice, sensitive (but manly), caring guy. It just comes across a little differently if I want to make out with you.)

Anyway, yesterday's events mean that, perhaps, I'm turning over a new leaf. I'll let you know how the "dates" go...

change of plans

Looks like I may be staying in the Big Apple longer than I thought. I've had a job conflict that I've known about for a long period of time, and it came to a head on Friday. I had to ditch one of them, so now it looks like that I'll be back in Queens once I finish my stint in Sleepy Hamlet.

See? This is why I don't make concrete plans more than a month in advance!

a rambling explosion of feeling (you've been warned)

Fireworks are popping outside my window as I write this.

I don't feel much like celebrating.

I feel, today, on our country's 230th birthday, as if I don't have much of a place of my own. And I don't mean this in a housing sense, in any type of physical sense. I guess I feel lost in the shuffle of life.

No one really called me and asked me if I wanted to be included in their 4th plans. This is not to say that I couldn't have picked up the phone myself and said, "Hey, what are you doing? Mind if I tag along?" I've done that very thing before, and I'm sure that I'll do it again. If I want to amuse myself, I usually find a way. (One person did call me and asked me to do something. That person is no where to be found. I already left one message; I'm not going to go begging for them to hang out with me.)

But, being back in "my city", I have no sense of community, no circle of friends who I can rely on, you know? I used to have that here, the first time around. I had a great group in Sleepy Hamlet. I've always had one, wherever I was. But here - the old bonds aren't there. Everyone is married, or moved away, or doing their own thing. And I'm still floating.

I actually really wanted to hang out with my X today - not necessarily because I want things to "rekindle" between us so much as I wanted to spend part of the holiday with someone that I'm really close with. But she had some project stuff that she needed to work on...and then she wasn't able to work on it as much as she would have liked, and she had to cancel our plans, and so the entire afternoon that I waited around for her was all for naught. (She felt bad, and she apologized, and because my feelings were hurt I didn't really respond right away, and then she cried, and then i felt bad for hurting her feelings.) I'm sure that part of my funk has to do with my relationship with her - things that I want that I'm not getting/will never get from her, etc. But that's all part of the larger issue - I feel adrift.

I know that I'll wake up t'm'row and feel fine. I've got plans t'm'row and Thursday. I've got an audition this week and job prospects on the horizon. Part of me is really looking forward to getting back to work, to (gasp!) getting out of New York. I'll totally be ok. I guess I just have to wallow in the depths of my emotions for a while. That's ok, right?

"Where do you find a woman fit for a king?"

"Queens!"

Not that I'm looking for that right now, mind you.

I've settled in yet another borough - so far, so good. One of the X's roommates also has a lease on a place out here, and no one's in the place (long story), so I'm helping him out for a month by subletting, and he in turn is saving my ass by giving me a place to live.

The place is cool. I have my own room, which is a nice change from the living room I was sleeping in, and the two guys who are here are very friendly. It's been a long time since I've lived with guys. That sounds like a weird statement, but it's true - it's been something like 3 1/2 years. Nice to have roommates who are just as crazy about sports as I am.

Went to the old Brooklyn apartment yesterday evening to collect the last of my things. Looking around that place, I realized that it was best that I go. The place is filthy, that kind of years-old grime that is almost impossible to scrub away; the cabinets are falling apart; the roof is leaking; the building is in need of a facelift.

And, most importantly, I was never comfortable there. Sure, I loved the neighborhood, and my friends were nearby, but the place itself never won me over. (Part of that might have been influenced by the crazy cats I was living with.) At least here I feel at ease, relaxed. Home. And part of me is excited to come back here in January and find a place of my own, either by myself or with a roommate. If I actually end up back here next year, that is.

My iPod looks like it's ready, so I'm going to try and load my music onto this computer. Wish me luck...

happy action fun time

Oh, folks, it's on. It's SO on!

Why is it on?

Because, my friends...I have my new computer.

It's pretty.

A gleaming new MacBook. Fully souped-up. Picked up Microsoft Office and a new iPod while I was at it, thank you very much.

So...do you know what this means?

It means...that you finally will be able to see pictures from my kick-ass vacation.

Pictures like this. -->

Prize to the person who can tell me what city this is in. Bonus if you can tell me where.

One more thing that must be done - I must name the new computer.

She's the new love of my life (in part because of how much coin I dropped on it...I mean, her; in part because there's no other prospects on the horizon), and she needs a new name. It was tough for me to pick the gleaming white model over the gleaming black model (insert Bright-Eyes' joke of choice here), so it needs an ethnic-sounding name. I'm feeling Egypt right now, so I'm thinking Isis. Check out a pic of the MacBooks and give me your suggestions, please...

Living situation post coming t'm'row...I just had to tell y'all about this one first...

frustrated

Not much to say right now that's fit to print. I've got one place to look at t'm'row; if it doesn't work out, I'm screwed. I can't even describe what this whole episode has done to my mental state. I'm totally frazzled, dudes.

I'll post something this weekend. I'm going home, to Pittsburgh, to see my parents. So I'm sure I'll feel better then. Mom's cooking always does that.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!

Univision is the shit. (Hence the Spanish spelling above.)

Like many Americans, I get into soccer once every four years. And I just find the World Cup fascinating. I think my favorite part is how into it the fans get - the chants, the songs, the cheers. Their excitement gets me excited.

The crappy apartment I'm getting kicked out of has pirated cable. The super basically rigged up the channels he wanted to get. So we've got Cinemax and The Movie Channel (for his softcore porn needs, I suppose) but no ESPN or Comedy Central, two channels essential to my health and well-being. The World Cup is being shown, for the most part, on ESPN2. So I thought I was out of luck. Which brings me to Univision.

Univision is one of two Spanish-language channels available in the US (Telemundo is the other), and they've got rights to World Cup games. So I spend my afternoons watching soccer announced in a language I can't understand. You can kind of get the gist of it by listening to the tone of voice of the announcers, so that helps (and here I must admit that I have a fantasy that after several days of immersion that I will be able to speak perfect Spanish), and you certainly know when a goal has been scored, because all of the announcers have these spectacular calls that last around a minute. You've really got to check it out. Trust me, you'll love it.

apartment update

Thanks to all for the concern/couch offers. I know that my roommate and I do have a legal leg to stand on, but we've decided to vacate for several other reasons not really related to the landlord. I'm not going to go into all of them, but one big one for her is that she can go home for the summer, live rent-free, and make a ton of cash.

Looked at my first sublet last night - I had totally forgotten about the Holy Triangle of aparment searches - price, location, apartment quality. This place was really nice, and really big, but the neighborhood was shitty and the price was out of wack with the first two. So the search goes on. I do have a place to look at on Saturday that sounds pretty cool; I'll keep you posted.

just when you're starting to get comfortable...

...the unexpected happens.

Due to an exceptional degree of negligence and ineptitude, the landlord of my building is kicking us out. I found out about this in the wee hours of Friday morning, coming home after a fun evening with a delightful buzz. Needless to say, I was not that happy. We were originally going to be bounced out immediately, but my roommate was able to get the landlord to let us stay for the remainder of the month.

So, I'm going to be moving again. It's probably for the best - this building is for sale, and it's definitely in need of renovations - seems like every time I looked up there was something else breaking, or leaking, or running. But I'm really disappointed because I thought I had a home, you know? I had all these fix-em-up plans...poof! Gone.

Anyone know of a good July sublet? Preferably in Brooklyn?

wait for it...wait for it...

We're in kind of a holding pattern here at F&G, for several reasons. The biggest of all is waiting for financing to come through for my new computer, which will allow me to spice up this blog a bit, as well as post pictures of my super road trip with The Croatian Sensation. I don't feel like I should tell stories about our journey without showing you all of the available photo documentation.

I also feel like I'm waiting around career-wise, which sometimes doesn't make sense to me. I landed an agent on Friday - very exciting news - but now I just sit around waiting for the phone to ring for appointments. I still have all of the normal actor-y stuff to do - reading Backstage, reminding my contacts that I'm still alive - now I just have more help.

I also have an acting job of sorts that begins in two weeks, and as a result I can't land any kind of part-time job - people don't want to hire someone who says, "I'd love a flexible schedule, and I really won't be available to you for the next two weeks." So I may have to go the temp route for a while. I've been resisting it because I want to keep my open availability for meetings and auditions, but, in the words of OutKast, "Baby gotta eat!" (And speaking of my favorite musical group in the world, they just released a new single, "The Mighty O", which is mighty good.)

And, because I'm not flush with cash right now, I'm kind of waiting around to make the apartment improvements that I want to do. I just need some more stuff - a proper bed frame (my mattress and boxspring reside on the floor), pots and pans, a new bookcase, etc. I can live without it - it would just make things a bit more comfortable. I do feel a bit like a grownup now that I've at least got a place where I can receive my mail.

Off to bed...still catching up on sleep from the wedding...

The Wedding Of The Century

I'm exhausted. What a weekend! I've gotten about 15 hours of sleep over the past three days, and I'm headed for the same amount tonight. But it was all worth it. The wedding was amazing. It was classy but comfortable - the kind of ceremony where people make jokes and it doesn't seem out of place or rude at all. And my brother and his new wife looked amazing.

One of the many stories that will come from this day: it was really cloudy here all day. Sis-in-law was processing with her parents through the park to the edge of the water where the wedding party was. She was to follow a path through the park, and then step off the path for the last 20 feet or so. As she stepped onto the grass - and I'm totally not making this up - a ray of sunlight burst through the clouds and literally illuminated her and her parents. It almost looked like theatrical lighting. It was amazing.

The only damper of the day - and it was a big one - was that my father passed out right after dinner. He got up from his chair and literally keeled over. Paramedics were called, they put him on oxygen, took him out on a stretcher and over to the local hospital. He's had spells like this before (including a very scary one in Colorado five years ago eerily similiar to this) but it was still a little freaky. He was at the hospital for a few hours, but they let him go because his tests all came out clean - all they know is that his blood pressure dropped rapidly, but they're not sure why. Very scary, but he's out, and he's ok.

I could tell more stories - and I will - but I've got to get some sleep. Hope that everyone had as good a weekend as me...

I'm alive...

...just too busy to write anything for y'all. In the past couple of days, I've:


- returned from my cross-country jaunt

- moved into my new apartment

- started prep for the wedding

- set up a couple of work-related meetings, landing one gig

- made contact with the ex for the first time in six months - good times, but not THAT good, if you know what I mean


So...lots to tell. You'll probably have to wait until after the wedding for details. I'll fill you in, I promise.

What's going on in blogland?

quick check in

Sorry about my lack of posting...my laptop isn't very healthy, and I haven't had much time to get on other people's computers. I really should be in bed now, but I thought I should at least let people know that I"m alive.

I'm in Chicago, and I'll have more stories to put up. I've decided that the pictures must wait until I get my new laptop, which should be in a couple of weeks. But StefStar should have a bunch of things to put up, including a picture of me. So you can see what I look like. Exciting, no?

Time for bed. More soon.

le grand week-end

Nothing profound to say, except that I've had a wonderful weekend in Denver and I don't want it to end. Saw some old friends, watched a play with some of the best acting I've seen in my life with my own eyes, and met some truly spectacular people. You want to hold on to moments like these.

But, alas, Steffie and I must hit the road once again. Nebraska t'm'row, and then Chicago for the better part of next week. Any suggestions for things I should do in the Windy City?

Wednesday

Yesterday was a crazy day, people. To recap:

I woke up really early because I couldn't sleep - probably too disturbed by that episode of "Cheaters" that I watched the night before. Or the fact that my bank account is seriously out of whack.

StefStar and I took Ziggy The Wonder Dog to the beach, where she promptly aggravated the elbow that's been bothering her. We had to get the car to bring her back. (She's ok, don't worry.)

Drove through Nevada all day. Have you ever driven through Nevada? Let me save you some time...don't. There's nothing to see there. Once you get past Reno, it's all over. I was the hit of a Subway in Wannamucca, though.

Driving through eastern Utah (another wasteland, except there the ground is white - literally) we noticed that there were some white dots on the windshield. We just figured that they were flecks of salt that were being thrown up. But it got worse and worse, and they just made streaks on the windshield when I tried to get them off with washer fluid. To make matters even worse, it was getting dark, and the lights from oncoming drivers - which were getting more and more numerous as we approached Salt Lake City - were making it even harder to see. I basically had zero visibility, and no way to get off the highway. I had to follow the lights of cars - that was the only way I could stay on the road.

So Stef and I finally get to a gas station just outside of Park City. I search all over the place, finally find a squeege with wiper fluid, and head to the windshield. And what do I find? Apparently, we drove through a HUGE colony of INSECTS! There were literally thousands of little bug remains all over the windshield...and the side mirrors...and the grill...and the bumper. From a distance, it looked like mud, but you could see the grossness up close. We took a couple of pictures, so you might get to see it, if you can stomach it.

Went to a couple of different places looking for food. Found the only spot that was still serving dinner at 10pm. Inside we heard the worst laugh you've ever heard - high-pitched and obnoxious. The staff said that the guy usually clears a place out pretty quickly. We decided to get a second beer there only after the guy left. The laugh is actually on tape - we're gonna try to get that up on one of our blogs, too.

Just as we were getting ready to leave, a semi-drunk realtor starting talking to us - getting our story, etc. He was trying to convince us to come to some "industry" party. We went, and had an awesome time. Our waitress from the restaurant - who I discovered was (a) training for the Olympics and (b) extremely cute - brought us over a few drinks. So we hung out with the realtor and the waitress/athlete and a golf pro, who was one of the nicest guys I've ever met. And it was awesome. We staggered back to the hotel at 1am. Totally random.

Oh yeah, I even saw a black guy at the party. Who would have thought?

So that was the day. Good times, no? We're headed to Denver in a couple of hours, and we'll be there for the weekend. Since we'll be in one place for a few days, hopefully we can figure out all the tech stuff and post some pics. Right now, though, I've got to go. "Good Morning Utah" is on, and it seems like a seminal moment in television history - they're discussing how Britney puts her baby car seat in incorrectly! I love Utah.

"Tahoe, bitches"

That's right. StefStar and I pulled up in this piece a couple of hours ago - good times. We're staying at this phat resort two blocks from the beach. Internet access hasn't been so great the last couple of days; hence, my absence. In fact, I'm writing this in the hotel lobby - Stef and I are sitting across from each other on our laptops, enjoying the free wireless.

Pictures will be forthcoming. We're documenting our travels as well as we can. Unfortunately, the digital camera I borrowed eats up batteries pretty quick, so I've got to buy some more. No pictures of Sleepy Hamlet for you. ;-)

Pretty exhausted, so I'm done for now. More t'm'row from Park City, UT - we decided that SLC may not be the best place for us...

mmmm...airport floor...

Paying $6.95 for the privilege of logging on to the internet on the floor at Chicago's Midway airport. Couldn't they at least hook up a computer lounge or something? It's the 21st century, after all...

Crazy night last night with the grad school peeps. Hadn't seen some of them in four years, and we certainly made up for lost time. I got to bed at 6:20am, and woke up (late) at 9. So I'm in fine shape today.

The trip has begun! I'll try to post daily updates, starting t'm'row. It will all depend on e-mail access. And, if you're really nice to me, I'll throw up a fun pic or two. Happy Mother's Day!

The Rover

That's what you can call me from now on. I mean, I'm not gonna be bitter if you keep calling me "K Lance", or (if you happen to know it) my real name when you e-mail me. But that's my new public face.

I think it works quite well, actually. Theatrical origins - a couple of famous classical characters go by that name. Of course, the description also matches my nomadic lifestyle. And it does give me a dash of mystery, no?

Thanks to all who made suggestions. Your time, effort, and sarcasm is appreciated.

the end of "k lance"; the beginning of my trip

The blog is continuing, but the name will be changing, for reasons too numerous to list on here. I will say that being back in NYC feels like a kind of rebirth for me, like I'm beginning my life all over again. I'm normally an optimistic person, but I feel even more so these days. And I'm really excited for what the future will hold.

Anyway.

The cross-country trip begins on Sunday! One of my roommates has kindly agreed to lend me her digital camera, so you will see glorious pictures of my trip across America. Well, you'll see them as long as we stay in places that have internet access. It's gonna be really exciting. We've almost got the itinerary finalized - it will probably look something like this:

Sleepy Hamlet
Lake Tahoe
Salt Lake City
Denver
Nebraska
Chicago
Detroit
Toronto/Stratford
Martha's Vineyard
NYC

Good times, no? In my dream trek across America, I'd probably take a more Southern route, going through Phoenix and Texas and New Orleans and Atlanta, but methinks my bank account doth protest too much. Plus this route allows me to fish for a few jobs. And jobs are what we're all about here at F&G. Well, that and the nookie.

Off to find a suit for the Wedding of the Century.

good news/bad news

I'm sitting here waiting for a phone call that contains the bad news. I'm going to hold off speaking of it until I get all of the details. It's nothing catastrophic, but it's not real good, either.

Good news refers to something that I alluded to a couple of weeks ago. I am officially a resident of Brooklyn. One of my friends (a former sublettor AND ex-girlfriend - how's that for a double?) is moving back down South and is giving me her one-bedroom apartment. It's in a cool part of the BK, and it's fairly cheap (meaning that I'm paying less than a grand). I'm going to have a roommate for a few months, and then it's all mine. When I'm not out of town and subletting it to someone else, that is.

What does this mean to my plans to move to LA? Um...good question. I still haven't figured that one out yet. I jumped at this opportunity because it doesn't come along very often. I guess that a fall move is still possible, but, like I said before, nothing more than four weeks out is certain.

I just needed a home, you know? A place to send my mail to, a place where all of my stuff can be, the place I know I can retire to when I finish a gig and not have to worry about disturbing somebody else. I think I'm most excited to get all of my books set up there. They've been packed away in the family basement for so long, and every time I go back to the 'burgh I have to dig through boxes and boxes of stuff before I can find what I'm looking for. No more!

Back to watching the phone, waiting for it to ring.

i heart stephen colbert

Have any of you ever watched "The Colbert Report"? (That final "t" is silent - pronounced "kol-bear re-poor".) Funny as hell. And now comes news of his blistering satire of the President on Saturday night. Normally, that wouldn't be too interesting - who doesn't make fun of the President? - except for the fact that he did it right in front of his face!

You've really got to see it to believe it. (There's a transcript here. You can also find a version of the video on YouTube.)

And then, if you like what you saw, go here to give Mr. Colbert some props.

you remind me...

I almost felt like I had a 9-to-5 today - spent a lot of the day on the computer, working on career stuff. Granted, I spent a lot of time trying to find a suitable sublet, but that kind of feels like work, too. Hopefully I can get all of this stuff settled in the next day or two, and then I can resume my "carefree life", ha ha.

I've been having very weird feelings the last couple of days. The room I'm subletting belongs to my X, who I haven't seen in almost six months. It's very strange being reminded of her 24/7. We lived together for a while, so it's not a totally foreign site to see her stuff hanging next to mine in the closet...but that last happened a couple of years ago.

I guess I'm feeling a loss of what was, if that makes any sense. I miss the time when things were good. That isn't to say that I want to be in that relationship again. But there are times where I really miss being in love with her.

I won't see her until June, and at that point, hopefully, we can kind of clear the air between us and see what our relationship is going to be in the future - friends, lovers, both, neither. I honestly have no idea. I've changed a lot...but so has she. I don't really have any expectations, and as a result I'm actually kind of excited to see what happens.

I think I need to start dinner. I'm trying not to spend any more money than necessary, since I'm living on the dole until my next acting job, but I kind of want some salmon. Looks like I may be making a trip to the local fish market. I love living in the city.

handlin' my business

Settled into my next place - a two week sublet in Brooklyn. (I can tell you that I'm in Brooklyn because there's about 2 million people here - I'm probably pretty safe.) I've never lived in BK before, and, much to my surprise, I like it. The place is nice - it's actually my ex-g'friend's, which is a story in itself - and the roommates are cool. I haven't had roommates in three-plus years, so that's going to be a little bit of an adjustment. No more late night booty calls, I suppose.

I've also been doing the New York actor things while I've been here - meeting with agents, going on auditions. It's kind of like exercising after a long layoff - you know what you're doing, but the skills are a bit rusty. Had a good meeting and audition on Friday, and I've got another audition set up for Monday, so at least I'm keeping busy.

I have more stuff to write about, but I haven't called Voice & Sandwich in almost a week, so I better check in before they think I'm dead.

The eagle has landed

That's right, peeps, I'm back on the East Coast. As Tony! Toni! Tone! would say, it feels good. Yeah.

I walked around a lot today - my plans ended up getting all messed up and I didn't want to have to to take the commuter train multiple times (I'm staying with my brother for a few days before moving into my Brooklyn sublet). Ended up going uptown to see some old peeps - ran into three grad school professors. Made phone calls to agents. Ate an "eggwich". Had coffee with a blogger. Had chai with a dear friend.

It was a good day.

And yet, I feel a little strange being back. Maybe it's because, for the first time in 3 1/2 years, I'm actually going to be here for a while. I don't have to rush to get everything done. And, furthermore, I have to kick a little acting game while I'm here. I'm working on securing representation, going on auditions, making connections. I haven't worked this hard on the "business" aspect in years. But I think it will be good for me.

I'm still on West Coast time, but I'm getting sleepy. More t'm'row - I've decided that since I've been running around like a crazy person for the last week or so, I'm just going to take it easy...

quick post

Sorry no Sleepy Hamlet weekend post. I was running around nonstop. More details about that later in the week. Right now I've got to finish packing so that I can fly to NY in the morning. Um, thanks, Cowtown, for...um...the memories? Do Jamba Juice and In-N-Out Burger count as memories?

Big news upcoming. I know I said that I didn't want to talk too much about future events, but this one, if it comes through, is pretty exciting, at least for some of you.

Oh, you want a hint? OK. I'll give you one word:

Brooklyn.

time to go...

I had all these great plans to write daily in a different coffee shop - look how well that turned out. In a Starbucks again, albeit a different one - one that has a bathroom on the premises. (Cue "The Jeffersons" theme song.)

Leaving tonight - late nite flight back to Cowtown, and then driving in the morning up to Sleepy Hamlet. I've really enjoyed my time out here - went to the beach, saw my cousin, hung out with some of my best friends in the world. The weather here is gorgeous, pretty girls everywhere (including Giss). I know that I can live here. But it's still not NY. It'll be interesting to see what happens.

One thing that's really stood out to me is how big this place is. Obviously traffic has something to do with this, but it amazes me how you can agree to meet someone in a place an hour away, and it's no big deal! I've lived in walking distance towns for way too long, I suppose.

Coming up on two hours on the internet here at the 'bucks, which means it's time for me to do something else. In this case, it means a trip to see my union representatives to deal with a situation way too complicated for me to explain here. I'll see if I can finagle a blog from Sleepy Hamlet this weekend - if not, you'll probably hear from me next when I hit the Big Apple.

LA!

Writing from a Starbucks in West Hollywood. So far, so good (except that I had to run across the street to go to the bathroom, because this store doesn't have a public restroom - won't be writing from here t'm'row). I've got a bunch of errands to run today, the most important of which involves a trip to the Apple store. Let's just say that I think I need a new iPod. And you all know how important my iPod is to me.

I got here yesterday - it was raining when I left Cowtown. The ending of the show was surprisingly normal. No emotions, no grand send-offs - it just felt like a normal show. I'm glad it's over. I really needed a break - and now I'm getting it. The "business" side of me is kicking myself for not setting up a bunch of auditions and meetings while I'm here. But, realistically, what good does it do to go meet an agent and say, "I'm only here for four days. Hire me!"? It doesn't. So I'm just going to relax, enjoy the weather, hang out at the beach, and enjoy myself. There will be plently of time for hustling when I get back to NYC.

Off to the Beverly Center. More t'm'row.

packing sucks

The bad part about being a vagabond is packing. Just when you start to get comfortable in a place, and your stuff is spread out all over the apartment, you've got to shove it all in a box and ship it off halfway across the country (or, in my case, all the way across the country).

And this packing adventure is even more complicated, because I've got these mini-trips planned for the next week, but I have to mail some of my stuff by next Friday, and I won't have any time Thursday night to do so...ugh.

I guess I just need to be happy that I'm going on vacation for three months.

another Awkward encounter

I walk backstage to start Act II. Awkward Dude is sitting in a chair. It's dark, so I know that someone's sitting there, but I can't tell who it is or what they are doing.

"Hey Rover."

Hello, Awkward Dude.

(pause)

"I was just making shadow puppets with my hands. You know, birds, stuff like that."

Um, great. I was just getting ready for the rest of the show.

"Well, that's what I was just doing. Making shadow puppets."

Great. I couldn't really see what you were doing there.


Aren't you going to miss him when I leave this place?

change

I feel like my blog world is changing.

A-List Celebrity shut her blog down a few weeks ago.

Infinite Monkeys disappeared last month.

Sweet Aphrodite announced that she's closing up shop yesterday.

Things change. I've accepted that fact. I mean, look at my life - seems like I can't be in the same state for more than two months at a time. However, maybe the ever-shifting nature of my life means that I cling even more strongly to my routines. Starting my day with green tea and oatmeal. Reading the paper online in the morning. Watching Pardon The Interruption. Reading my blogs. So when something in that routine changes - when I run out of oatmeal, or I don't have time to get online, or PTI is pre-empted by golf, or a blog disappears - I feel out of sorts.

So I'll miss the above blogs. Stay in touch, y'all.

Thank You For Smoking

Saw this movie yesterday with a friend of mine - pretty good. Directed by Jason Reitman (son of Ivan, who directed, among other things, Ghostbusters) and based on a book by Christopher Buckley (son of William F.). Two kids of famous folks making good.

I think it goes into wide release in the next week or two, and if you're in the mood for something refreshing, you should check it out. It's not often when you see a film like this. It's satirical, and the bad guys are the good guys and vice versa. I know that those things don't sound unusual...but wait until you see the film. And Aaron Eckhart is irrestible in the lead role...he'll charm the pants right off you. But not in a sexual way. Unless you want it to be like that.

Maybe I should start a second career as a movie critic...Rover's Critiques...

why schedule anything?

I'm starting to think that I should never "announce" what my future plans are. Every time I think I've got everything worked out, something else pops up.

Now there's a development which may potentially keep me out of LA until fall 2007.

(It could also increase the duration of my stay in New York, allowing me some time there in winter and spring '07.)

So, until I start signing contracts - or resolve to take some time off - I'm only going to address the future as speculation. Because, obviously, life can and will happen.

What I do know for sure, though, is that I don't have all that much time left in Cowtown. Sunday night I'm off to LA to visit GISS (Girl I'm Sorta Seeing) and some other friends for a few days. Trips to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles and the beach are in order. Then, next weekend, I head up to Sleepy Hamlet. I'm going to be doing some teaching there for a couple of weeks this summer, so I'm going up to sign the contract and see some plays and attend some meetings. (I was actually planning on visiting there to see plays and friends anyway; wrapping the job stuff into it allows them to pay me for being there, which is a-ok in my book.)

And, two weeks from today, I go back to NYC. Couch hopping for a week, Brooklyn for the next two. Should be loads of fun.

Time for me to watch yesterday's episode of 24 on the TiVo - boy, am I going to miss that thing when I'm gone.

race relations

Thanks for all of your support, public and private. The post below was in response to a dialogue I've been having (with several others) with Miss Fire on her blog. You can check out her posts here and here. It's her blog, so I suppose that she eventually gets to have the last word.

There are just some lines that I don't think that people should cross. And using that word, with that much venom behind it, is a deal breaker for me. I mean, hey, if that's what you feel in your heart, that's on you. And if that's how you think, and you truly try to make amends for it, and work on it, and change your line of thinking, that's great. But I don't see any evidence of that in these conversations. Please point it out to me if you think I missed something.

I just finished reading a book called Founding Brothers, and in it the point was raised that one of the reasons that early American leaders allowed slavery to continue was that they had no idea to do with all of these black people once they were free, because there had never been a truly biracial society before. That thought just blew me away. And I suppose that's why it's so hard - we're doing something that's never been done before. And we didn't exactly start off on the right foot.

I get really frustrated, because just when I feel good about race relations, something always comes along to destroy my hopeful thoughts. A character in Lorraine Hansberry's A Raisin in the Sun says that so many of the problems in this world occur because people just don't sit down and talk to each other. I try to live my life as the conduit between worlds, exposing people to a way of life that they may not have understood before. This experience isn't going to dissuade me from doing what I'm doing. It just motivates me to work harder.

Good God, it's almost 4am. I've got to go to bed.

disappointment

It's always heart-breaking to me, even when you don't know a person very well, when you find out how they really feel about you. I think it's even worse when you've stood up for them, when you've defended them in front of other people. It's like getting stabbed in the back. It makes me want to retreat to a deep, dark hole in the wilderness, or retire to a remote island. Sometimes it makes me want to give up on humanity all together.

I'll be ok t'm'row. I usually am. But tonight...let's just say that my feelings are hurt.

BK

So I found a place to crash in NYC - for two weeks.

Brooklyn, baby!

I'm actually going to be living in the old room of my ex-g'friend (who we'll affectionally call X). X is out of the country right now - she thought it was going to be for three and a half months, but she recently decided to extend her stay for another couple of weeks. Hence, the vacancy. I'm pretty excited, because one of her roommates is a really close friend of mine, so it will be exciting to hang out with her on a daily basis, even if it is for a couple of weeks.

Still looking for a place to land after my cross-country adventure. If you hear of anything, holla at your boy...

X Country

It's official - I'll be driving across this great nation of ours - practically from sea to shining sea. If you're good, I'll take pictures and let you all take the trip with me! Wouldn't that be fun? I'm going with a fellow blogger, too - more on that as the trip gets closer. I'll also post an itinerary - anyone who wants to let a couple of people crash on their floor, or take us out for a drink, would be the winner in my eyes.

Got to get a quick workout in before my early evening show.

he did it again

Conversation with Awkward Dude (you may remember a prior conversation we had) at a castmate's birthday party on Friday night:

Yeah, so it's really great that you're playing (character name). I mean, I never thought of a black guy playing that part before.

Well, it's Shakespeare, and most of the parts aren't race-specific...

Yeah, it's just so amazing. Like, I never thought of that. But then I saw you in rehearsal, and I was like, wow, a black guy can play that part. It's awesome.

Mmmm...


Such a special guy, right?

a nice "weekend" (because MY weekend is Monday)

I've been up since 4am - my "friend" came back into town this weekend (we'll call her G.I.S.S - see if you can figure that one out) and I had to take her to the airport so that she could catch her 6am flight. I made good use of my time, though - got caught up on most of my TV shows; made myself an omelette...well, I attempted to make one, that is; and watched a documentary that I've been meaning to catch for a while.

It was a very good weekend. Not only did Giss come into town, but a friend of mine from Sleepy Hamlet drove down for the day to catch my show. He probably ended up spending at least half of his waking hours in transit alone, so he went through a lot of effort to get here. I was quite moved, actually. Nice to have friends who are willing to go the extra mile for you.

Plans for the cross country trip are developing nicely. I'm leaning heavily towards doing it. Another vote in favor for it - apparently, that summer theater festival that I auditioned for a couple of weeks ago is in the middle of casting, so I'm assuming that they don't have a spot for me. That's totally fine with me; this way I get my vacation, I get to spend most of my summer in New York, and I won't feel like I'm missing my friends if I go drive around the country.

Off to shower and then catch the late morning showing of Inside Man. I'll report back later...

embrace the chaos

When I was preparing to leave grad school, there was a period of time where I was close to panic. Questions flooded my mind:

• Where would I live in New York City?
  
• Would I ever find an apartment?
  
• Could I find a job flexible enough to allow me to act?
• Would I make enough money to be able to pay my rent?
  
• How would I get an agent?

Having these concerns floating around your head is enough to drive you crazy. I was choosing a lifestyle that was unstable, with no guarantees of being able to support myself. I didn't know where my next job was going to be, or what it was going to entail, or who I was going to be working with.

I don't remember when the notion clicked in my head, but one day, this thought popped into my head:

Embrace the chaos.

(It was kind of like Field of Dreams, you know, when Kevin Costner starts hearing voices in the cornfield.)

Embracing the chaos means that I fully accept the fact that my future is uncharted. It means that I'm ok with my plans changing, with taking jobs far away from home, and from my loved ones. It gives me freedom and flexibility. And it also allows me to work a job where I usually don't have to get up before ten.

I lose track of this every now and then - get panicky, worry about my checkbook, stuff like that. But, as a friend of a friend says, it is what it is. And when I fully accept my circumstances, and embrace them, I'm good to go.

This was a really long winded way of saying that I'm ok with all hell breaking loose with my schedule. There's a good chance that I may spend half of May taking a super duper road trip with a fellow blogger. I've always wanted to drive cross country, and I may have the opportunity to do just that. And you can bet, if that happens, that I'll be writing about it nonstop. (That's what I did during my significant road trip seven years ago.)

Off to freshen up the wig. Good weekend to all...

My triumphant return to NY...

...is April 25. Write it down, bitches!

playing through pain!

No news from the audition last week. So I'm officially writing it off, and looking forward to a fun-filled summer in NYC. (And yes, I'm fully aware that writing these words makes a phone call from that theater company probable.) I could have exciting plans involving two of my fellow bloggers...more news on that as it develops.

Only 2 1/2 weeks to go in Cowtown. Can't believe the time has gone by so fast. The show, which I was very worried about for some time, now seems to be in good shape. We got a great review from the big paper in town, and we've had great audiences since our first preview. And if people are ultimately entertained, I'm happy. That's why I'm doing this job, after all.

Just want to let all of you know that I'm gutting out this blog entry - last night I smashed my left middle finger. I have this bit in the show where I'm holding a couple of guns and I jump on stage from the audience. Normally it's a pretty fluid move, but yesterday I slipped and broke my fall with my hand - which was holding a gun. All of the weight of the gun (which I think may be antique) came down on my finger. It doesn't feel too good, and the nail is turning a couple of fun colors, but it's barely swollen this morning, so I don't think I broke it. I don't know how I managed to keep from reacting when it happened - guess that by this point, I'm trained to keep going. I'm such a professional!

Two shows today - the first starts in less than two hours, so I better scoot.

F for fuckin' good

The title, of course, refers to the movie V For Vendetta. Excellent movie. I highly recommend it. The Wachowski Brothers have said that they're not trying to make comparisons between the fictional England they've created and America today - but if you don't come out of that movie thinking about the concept of terrorism, you weren't paying attention. But, hey, should we expect any less out of these guys? They gave us The Matrix, which also could be know as The Thinking Man's Action Flick.

One more thing - Hugo Weaving (who played Agent Smith in the Matrix trilogy) is outstanding as V. The mask work that he does is unbelievable. And, if you've ever done any mask work, you know how hard it is.

more crazy

Two separate posts on two different subjects. Of course, we all know my well-documented attractiveness to crazy people. I was picking up some groceries at Safeway, trying to determine if the check-out girl thought I was cute (apparently not), when an older lady approached me.

You look familiar. Do you live around here?

Um, sort of. I'm not from here.

Do you know Dwayne blahblahblah?

No...sorry.

Oh. Because he knows everybody. (Points to tabloid magazine rack) You look familiar? There was this time when (unintelligible) and then he got some cocaine. It was just a vial. And then there was a teeny (unintelligible string of gibberish).

Oh...


And then she kept murmuring until she moved through the check-out line and joined the person she was with. What is it about me that attracts crazy?

Voice & Sandwich

I'm back, folks. You can breathe easy.

Voice & Sandwich left early early this morning, and are now safe and sound at home. It was really good to see them. I took them out for tea (since Voice is a tea freak; she drinks like six cups a day) and to In-N-Out Burger (since they'd never been) and showed them the Steelers Championship DVD in my palacial guest house. And they saw the show, which they liked a lot. (And so did the Cowtown Daily Bugle - they gave us a good review!)

I really love the relationship I have with my parents - I always have - and it seems to get better and better every year. They support my decisions, and they listen to me and always give me their honest opinions. (They had some very interesting thoughts on the ex-girlfriend during this visit that I had never heard before.) I feel very lucky that we're so close.

All right, enough of that mushy stuff.

Working out the travel itinerary for April, and, hopefully, the rest of the year. The theater is supposed to decide whether or not to extend the run of the play by the end of the week, so I have to draw up two different plans, but I know for sure that I'll be in NYC by May 1. Exciting times. The yearly plan (as of right now) isn't too different from what I thought a couple of months ago, but that could change radically in the next couple of days.

Off to the gym - I've been putting it off all day - but I have to tell you about the full court press I've been getting from Cowtown residents...

just say no

The job craziness continues. I thought I had a job offer (different from Monday's adventure) that was going to pay me X amount of dollars a week. I just found out that, instead, they want to pay me half of that. And several of the other conditions that I was told would be in place have changed.

So now I'm in a weird spot. I'm half committed here (verbally, but not in writing), but with the new terms of the arrangement I don't know if I can stick. And I know that there was interest in me in another couple of places, so do I chase after those opportunities full bore? I think the most likely course of action is that I string the offer along for a couple more weeks, while I figure out if there's anything else out there for me. (This is a great opportunity, Melissa and Bright-Eyes, for you two to put your heads together, pool all your connections, and get me hooked up with a steady NYC acting gig. Good luck!)

What this comes down to is that I always feel bad saying "no". I've gotten better at doing so over time, especially in the last few years, but I can't get over the guilt.

Voice and Sandwich (aka Mom and Dad) are coming into town this weekend! I really need to tell those of you unfamiliar with my parents how they got their names. Anyway, I'll probably be scarce until the middle of next week; a good weekend to all...

"the milk's gone bad!"

This is really disturbing. Funny, but disturbing. After clicking the link, scroll down to the bottom of the page to see what I'm talking about. You only need to watch the first 20 seconds or so; once you see animals, my work is done.

(And, FYI, I'm an omnivore, so I'm disturbed by the video in the beginning, not by the content afterwards.)

quick post

...because I've got to leave for work in fifteen minutes. I was supposed to go to the gym this morning, but I overslept. In fact, I knew I was going to oversleep. We've all been there before - you look at the clock before bed, and think, "Wow, I should set my alarm," and then you think, "No, it's all right, I'll wake up in time, and if I don't, then I'll at least have had enough sleep." And maybe you even wake up an hour or so before your scheduled wake-up time, and think, "Yeah, I'll just lay here for a bit, and then I'll get up. I couldn't go back to sleep if I tried!" And then, next time you look at the clock, you realized you slept 45 minutes later than you were supposed to. Good times.

Has anyone been to tedheads.com? My friend just made me a hilarious video. I thought about posting on here, but, as you know, I enjoy my anonymity. Plus, if you don't know both of us, it's probably not that funny. If you're really curious, send me an e-mail and I'll hook you up.

All right, off to be brilliant on the stage. No news about my audition yet. I'll let you know when something happens.

destiny?

Did you ever feel like maybe you were destined to do something, and that, no matter how hard you tried, it wasn't going to change? I'm starting to feel like that about Shakespeare. I can't get away from it, no matter how hard I try.

Today I got a phone call from one of my castmates, who had talked me up to some people he was auditioning for. They wanted to see me - would I make the 90 minute drive up to the mountains above Cowtown to see them? I thought for a minute - all I was doing was sitting at the computer, putting off a trip to the gym. Sure, I said. Give me a half hour to shower; I'll be there at three.

The drive up was hellacious. Traffic. Torrential rain. Even snow (which gave me flashbacks to this). But I made it up there. I did two scenes and a monologue for them, and the seven people in the room were beyond enthusiastic. I should know by the end of the week, but I feel pretty good about it. By "feeling good", I mean about the audition, not about the fact my entire summer may be turned upside-down.

Not that I don't love doing Shakespeare - I do. But I had always pictured a different career path. Movies. Cutting-edge theater, maybe on Broadway, if I was lucky. Maybe even the odd guest spot on TV. Never in a million years did I think that Shakepeare would be paying my student loans, and putting food in my stomach and clothes on my back. I'm very grateful - but I'm stunned.

Dinner time. Low fat chicken parm, anyone? I think I'll be eating at 8...you're welcome to come over, if you can find me...

at work!

So I'm finally doing something that most of my blogger friends do all of the time: I'm blogging from work! This may not be that exciting for y'all, but for me it's a total change.

We've got what's called "10 out of 12" this weekend; union rules allow for a show to have the actors for ten hours a day for two consecutive days. Translation - I spend all weekend at the theater. And since there's lots of down time during a tech, I figured I'd bring along my laptop. The main reason for that - you can get NCAA Tournament games online.

The show is going pretty well. Everything seems to be coming together. And not a moment too soon - we start performing for people next week. It's been a long time since I've had a role this big, and I'm really enjoying every moment. But I'm totally busting my ass...hence why I'm exhausted all of the time.

The other thing about this play is that I have to be funny. I mean, I think I can be a funny guy, but no one asks me to do that on stage all that often. So hopefully people will think I'm funny. I'll let you know what the reviews say.

All right. Looks like they're gonna need me in a few minutes. Back to work...hope you enjoyed your "insider" view...

March Madness!

Two solid days of college hoops. Now that's good times. Unfortunately, I've got to be at work all day today, so I won't see squat. (sigh) Guess that's the price we pay, to entertain... (I hope you're picking up on my sarcasm, 'cause I'm laying it on pretty thick...)

Who am I picking? Villanova, UConn, Texas and the KU/Pitt round 2 winner - right now I like Kansas, but my mind changes every five minutes. I think 'Nova's got the firepower to win the whole thing. We TOTALLY should have started a Blogger pool! Next year.

Off to the gym.

rebuttal

Ah, Miss Fire, knew that I could count on you. I was just intending to make it a comment, but it was way too long. (Before you read this, check out the post below and attached comments. Read that? Good...here we go:)

- True, not every white person operates from a place of power. But, by and large, the people in control of things in this country aren't minorities.

- With this specific issue, I'm not talking about picking between two people of different races for one slot at a school. I'm talking about giving money to individuals already in the "accepted" pile. You don't just admit people of color just to hand out money - you make sure that they are qualified. Students can get scholarships for all sorts of things - gender, geographical location, economic status, membership in a club or group, religion - besides just race. And, no, I don't have a problem with any of those, either.

- I have no problems with going to community colleges - many of my friends and family members have. My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, either. That's why I worked my ass off to get scholarships. I applied for everything I could.

- The playing field is not level. I wish it were. You can't get into the game if you don't have the proper equipment, or the right footwear. And you certainly can't play if you can't find your way into the stadium - or if your way is blocked by others.

It sounds great to say that whites shouldn't be forced to suffer for decisions made by their ancestors. But guess what? Whites are still benefiting from decisions made by those ancestors. And minorities, particularly Afro-Americans and American Indians, still suffer from those same decisions. We've made some progress, specifically in how we treat people in public...but we're not there yet. Not by a long shot.

To answer your question (which was the only one that really got under my skin), no, I was not a "head count". I've worked twice as hard all my life just to get to where I'm at. Many of us do.

As far as my credentials...I don't want to brag, but I could have gotten into any school in the country, based on my grades and academic profile. I had one other full scholarship offer (from Penn State, based on my grades) and three other partial offers. I went to Boys' State and Boys' Nation. I played sports. I had a black belt in karate. I had a 4.5 GPA. I played an instrument and sang in the choir. I took several AP classes. I had leads in school plays and musicals. I was an officer in my church youth group. In short, I was probably the ideal high school student, regardless of race. Ask Melissa - she was there.

And yet, when it came time to find someone to take to prom, I had to go through three different girls just to get a date. Why? Because the white parents in my neighborhood didn't want their daughters to go to a dance with "the black kid". So, even after all I did in school, in my community, with my life, in these people's eyes, I was just another nigger.

I'll never forget that.

early morning rant.

This makes me angry. I'm usually cranky when I wake up, and I just got up 15 minutes ago, but this isn't making my mood any better. Because of a Supreme Court ruling three years ago, colleges left and right are either shutting down their minority programs, or opening these doors for all comers.

My point is this - minorities need opportunities to get into the door. We're not talking about picking the black kid over the white kid here, people. We're talking about making it possible for the black kid to go to an outrageously expensive school by giving him some extra cash.

Full disclosure - I was the recipient of a full scholarship from my alma mater. And, without that scholarship, I wouldn't have been able to go. Sure, I could have gone to a community college, or a local university, but I wouldn't have had the same education opportunities at those places.

I love this quote - couldn't be more right on:

Advocates of focused scholarships programs like Theodore M. Shaw, president of the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund Inc., challenge the notion that programs for minority students hurt whites. "How is it that they conclude that the great evil in this country is discrimination against white people?" Mr. Shaw asked. "Can I put that question any more pointedly? I struggle to find the words to do it because it's so stunning."

Amen.

back in black

Finally feeling like myself again. I did virtually nothing this weekend (aside from my rehearsals) - just watched a lot of television and caught up on some blog reading.

In fact, I didn't even work out. I even had In-N-Out Burger and creme brulee last night - talk about going whole hog. But now I feel great. Today's my off day, but I feel focused and ready, for my workout later this afternoon (the plan for this week is entitled "Get Tough"), and for the last week of rehearsals - we start performing for people who pay next week.

It's just really hard for me to do absolutely nothing, no matter what the circumstances. But sometimes it's the best thing for you.

Anybody do anything exciting this weekend?

so...weak...need...energy

I've been really exhausted lately. I haven't worked this hard on a show in almost four years, and I'm going to the gym five or six times a week, but the level of my fatigue has been really surprising. I'm getting lots of sleep and eating almost all of the right things...but I'm still lethargic when I get home. Maybe it's living in this posh guest house that makes me tired.

I guess that's why, right now, even though I'm bored to tears waiting for my rehearsal to start, I really just want to sleep for two days straight. I'm supposed to go out with my friend's brother tonight and see just what's hip about Cowtown, but I don't know if I'm going to have the energy. How pitiful am I?

Hope that everyone has a great weekend...

LA meme

So Jesus' Favorite nailed me with another meme...dammit. But she's the big sister of one of my dear dear friends, so you gotta do what you gotta do. And, wouldn't you know it, it's all about my future home:

4 Jobs I've Had In My Life In LA (Well, seeing how I've never actually lived there, I've never made any money there. But, during my last visit, my responsibilities were:)

- acting
- finding representation
- going to the beach (or hot tub) every day
- drinking as much alcohol as possible without passing out

4 Movies About LA I Could Watch Over And Over

- Boogie Nights
- Beverly Hills Cop
- Pulp Fiction
- Clueless

4 Places I've Lived All Over LA (Again, we're going to tweak this one, to places I've stayed in the city:)

- Culver City
- The Valley
- Venice (2 blocks from the beach, baby!)
- (upcoming) West Hollywood

4 LA-Themed Shows I Love(d) To Watch
- 24 - words can't express how much I love this show. If you watch it, go here. Or here.
- ALF
- Doogie Howser, M.D.
- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

4 Places I Would Vacation At In LA
- the beach
- the beach
- the beach
- the beach

4 LA-Based Websites I Visit Daily
- Jesus' Favorite
- The Sports Guy
That's all I got. Sorry. Click on them twice, over on the left where I keep the links.

4 Of My Favorite Foods Found In LA
- In-N-Out Double Double, Animal Style
- In-N-Out Fries
- Anything from Jamba Juice
- Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles...so good...

4 Places In LA I Would Rather Be Right Now
- the beach
- the beach
- the beach
- visiting my "friend"

I'd tag people, but there seems to be a current of bitterness about my move, so I'm not gonna risk it. ;-) Do it if you wanna.

new name?

What if I call myself "Smoove B"...you know, like the guy from the Onion?

I could make it K, so that it would be less confusing...

decision

It's early Wednesday morning, but I don't have rehearsal until seven t'm'row night, meaning that I have no idea what time I'm going to get up in the morning. And I don't want to deprive my East Coast readers, who are probably waiting with baited breath to see if I'm going to come back to them.

Sadly, I'm not.

I've waffled back and forth for days now, and late Saturday night I was thinking that I was probably going to go back to New York. It would be easy, I thought. I know how the city works, I thought. My ex-g'friend is there, and it would be nice to see her every day again, I thought. I have a bunch of cool friends who are there, who will be moving there shortly. I thought I had it all figured out.

And then I woke up early Sunday morning and went to the movies (to see Dave Chappelle's Block Party - see the below post for my thoughts on the movie). And I sat in this mostly empty theater, right in the middle, and relaxed as the previews came up.

I don't remember the name of the movie that was previewed first. It's not really important. What is important is the feeling that came over me when the first frame appeared on the screen.

I want to do that. I CAN do that.

And from there, it was a done deal.

I love theater. I always will. I'll never stop doing it. The connection that's created when an audience and the actors are totally in sync is indescrible. Everything is in harmony, a perfect feedback loop.

But I've always wanted to do movies, ever since I was a little kid. And I'm not getting any younger. And, if I want to go that route, I need to be in the city that makes it all happen. The city that's got great weather, and beaches, and In-N-Out Burgers galore, and fake tits and puffed-up lips as far as the eye can see.

I'm moving to Los Angeles.

a tag right up my alley

So I've been tagged - actually double-teamed by DH and April. (pause while you insert the dirty joke of your choosing here)

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

Like this totally isn't up my alley? I mean, how much do I love music? I could probably list seventy songs that I'm into, but in the interest of time and space, and not driving away my dear readers, I'll follow the instructions.

1. Go - Common: this song reminds me of a specific place and time...driving to and from the house of this girl with whom I had a torrid affair last summer, and the coolness of Sleepy Hamlet early summer mornings. It was a fun time. And this is truly a great song, from what is my co-album of the year for '05.

2. Touch The Sky - Kanye West: the trumpets in this song are to die for - so bright and clear. This song makes me feel invincible.

3. U Don't Have To Call - Usher: his best song, in my humble opinion. It was the last song I heard bumping from car speakers when I left NYC in April '02.

4. It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp - DJay: from the movie Hustle & Flow, which I liked a lot. Can you believe this won the Oscar? I'm still in shock about this.

5. Run It! (Remix) - Chris Brown f. Juelz Santana - can't explain this one.

6. Ms. New Booty - Bubba Sparxxx f. Ying Yang Twinz - I can explain this one...it's the beat, pure and simple. Plus I think I look pretty cool nodding my head to this in the cranberry Malibu I'm currently driving (thanks Cowtown Theater and Avis!).

7. Shake It Off - Mariah Carey: it was tough picking something for the last slot - so many choices! But I can't get Mariah...I mean, her song...out of my head. So she wins.


Can you tell I've been listening to a lot of hip hop lately? And, speaking of hip hop, if you've been following along with my classes (or you're just a big hip hop fan) you HAVE to check out Dave Chappelle's Block Party. It's a really great concert film, and there's lot of material in there for you Chappelle's Show fans, too. And Michael Gondry directed it, who also directed Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, one of my favorite movies ever. Check it out.

Oh yeah, I'm supposed to tag seven people. Let's see...

1. Melissa

2. Tuckergurl

3. L. Britt

4. Sertich

5. Bright-Eyes

6. Hathor

7. The Bird Man

Sorry if I doubled up on you. Thanks for playing!

I'm late!

Sort of. I told myself, since rehearsal starts at 12, and I don't want to go to the gym at eight at night, that I needed to leave here at 9:45.

Well, you can look at the time/date stamp and see that that didn't happen.

And I still have to make a sandwich, too. I can't wait for May. That's when I can just relax in my beloved Big Apple.

Which reminds me. D-Day is t'm'row. I'm pretty sure I know which way it's gonna go. I slept on it last night, and nothing changed. So...you'll know soon...

decision pending

So, I'm finally taking the initiative in picking a city. By Wednesday, it will be done, and I won't look back. It's been interesting; a couple of days ago I was leaning hard towards NY. But I went to the movies on Sunday morning, and I was reminded of why I want to be in them. So we're back to square one. But I'm gonna do the research, meditate, pray a bit, and make a decision. And then we're off to the races.

Chaos reigns in my rehearsal process. I can't even begin to explain it. I felt myself shut off during last night's rehearsal. Here's a tip out there for everybody: if you're teaching a bunch of people to do something, and there's a possibility that all of their hard work may go for naught, don't tell them that while you're teaching them. Not a whole lot of incentive to commit 100%.

Anyway, my main frustration with this process is that I'm the only one here from out of town - all the rest of the cast live year-round in Cowtown. So they've all got these other distractions and life things that are taking them out of rehearsal. The only reason I'm here is to do this show. So I don't have a whole lot of patience with a bunch of people screwing around. I'm here to work...so let's work.

All right, off to write a couple of letters, and then the gym - hopefully by then I still have a shred of motivation left.

and the Oscar goes to...

Just watched the Oscars (on TiVo, because I had rehearsal through the whole thing). Quick thoughts:

- Lots of pictures won lots of awards. It seemed like Memoirs of a Geisha was winning something every time I looked up.

- Very happy that Crash won Best Picture. It's the only one of the five nominees I saw, and I thought it was great. I kind of got tired of the Brokeback hype machine.

- I was, however, very happy for Ang Lee.

- And I was THRILLED that Three 6 Mafia won. How many Americans will be singing, "you know it's hard out here for a pimp" t'm'row morning? Buy the soundtrack. It's good.

- I was happy that Rachael Weisz won - The Constant Gardener was an outstanding movie. Would have liked for Terrence Howard to have won, but you can't argue with PSH.

- I thought that Jon Stewart was a great host. Not sure that the audience loved him (they really only love Billy Crystal), but I did. The fake commercials were great.

Time for bed.

nothing

Not that I really ever need an excuse to procrastinate, but some days you've just got to do nothing, you know? Especially when you've got the whole day off. I mean...really.

Actually, the main reason why I'm in a holding pattern is that I can't pick up my paycheck before 4, and I don't want to go into the "city" more than once, so I'm delaying my trip to the gym so that I can workout and then swing by work and collect my CASH. Payday is good times.

All right, all right, I'm going. Got a hot date with a treadmill...heh heh heh...

(temporary) home sweet home

Another break for me...no rehearsal 'til Friday AM. I think that this time I'm just going to get house-type stuff done - laundry, change sheets and towels, balance my checkbook (which I'm usually a freak about doing) - and hit the gym. The new workout plan's going quite well, thank you.

I talked to the folks at work, and it looks like I'm going to continue napping in the lap of luxury. They originally wanted to move me closer to the theater, but considering that I was on tour for the last two months of '05 and then in a hotel for the first part of '06, I really just want to stay in one place. And I'm just starting to get settled in here...so I didn't want to leave again. And now it looks like I won't have to.

I've got to admit, even though I'm a total urban dweller, I'm kind of digging living in the 'burbs. I found the Whole Foods this weekend, which will totally aid my healthy lifestyle (although it will abuse the hell out of my wallet). And I don't mind the 22-minute commute - gives me time to listen to my iPod, and relax a bit. The only time this will suck will be when I want to get a couple of drinks after a show...but I really should be cutting back on the alcohol intake, anyway.

Time to make dinner...salmon burgers from Whole Foods...mmm...